[playing Among Us]

[Izzy and Lucius reaching for a burger at the same time, their hands touch, their eyes meet]

Lucius: Hey, this is kinda gay-

Izzy: Get the fuck off my McDonald's.

Oluwande: Almost hit Buttons with my car today. I was pulling up to the house and apparently he didn't see me. So this guy darts out in front of me and I hit the brakes-

Oluwande: And he fucking dabs.

Oluwande: His automatic reaction to almost getting hit by a car was to just fucking dab. His LAST MOMENTS would have been a sick ass dab.

Oluwande: i'm worried about him

[on the crow's nest]

Stede: This is where I come to cry.

Ed: What?

Stede, sweating: I said this is where I come to be a cool guy.

Stede, after 3 minutes of silence: You don't have to use the chopsticks just to impress me.

Ed, trying to pick up his soda with chopsticks: I told you I got this.

Lucius: I have an empty notebook and no idea what to put in it. Any suggestions?

The Swede: Put spaghetti in it.

Lucius: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone except you.

Roach: Put spaghetti in it.

Lucius: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone except-

Frenchie: Put spaghetti in it.

Lucius: I am current-

Wee John: Put spaghetti in it.

Lucius: i am not longer taking suggestions

Stede: Let's talk about some of the emotions you may be feeling right now.

Fang: Stabbing.

Stede: Stabbing is more of an activity.

Stede: That I hope you don't do to me.

Oluwande: Ah, yeah, the five love languages.

Oluwande: [points to Stede] My parents never told me they were proud of me.

Oluwande: [points to Lucius] I'm so fucking tired, let me rest for five minutes.

Oluwande: [points to Roach] I love stuff.

Oluwande: [points to Frenchie] Please pay attention to me.

Oluwande: [points to Stede] Touch starved.

Stede: Come on, Oluwande-

Stede: Why did I get two?

Stede: What are you doing?

Frenchie, taking a Buzzfeed quiz to see what kind of Poptart he is: work

The Swede: It's a barren, featureless desert out there, isn't it?

Oluwande: That's the back of the map.

Oluwande: Tell me your wildest fantasy.

Jim: I'm on Wheel of Fortune and I spin the wheel so hard it lights on fire.

Oluwande: I meant like-

Jim: Everyone claps.