Fang: Comin' Outta My Cage And I Been Doin' Just-

[family game night]

Lucius: You know, you're getting a little too old to play Twister.

Stede: Nonsense, spin the wheel!

Lucius, sighing: Right hand red.

Stede: [pulls every muscle in his body]

Black Pete, standing on the dinner table: This place has gone to HELL!

Stede, to Ed: He does this once a week.

[on a deserted island]

Izzy, in his journal: Day 1. Alone. Mentally sound, doing well. Met a crab.

Izzy: Day 2. I have married the crab.

Izzy: Day 3. I have eaten my wife.

Stede: And now it's time for some witty back and forth banter!

Izzy: [screams with rage]

Stede: I don't know where to go with that.

Ed: [deep sigh]

Ed: [takes off cowboy hat and plops down in the dirt]

Ed: [starts filling his cowboy hat with little rocks]

Ed: Feelings, huh?

[Izzy and Lucius reaching for a burger at the same time, their hands touch, their eyes meet]

Lucius: Hey, this is kinda gay-

Izzy: Get the fuck off my McDonald's.

[first day as a pilot]

Control Tower: What are your coordinates?

Ed: I'm by a cloud that's shaped like a lion.

Control Tower: Can you be more specific?

Ed: simba

The Swede: It's a barren, featureless desert out there, isn't it?

Oluwande: That's the back of the map.

Stede: I think you're still suffering from the effects of the party last night.

Ed: All I drank was Redbull!

Stede: How many?

Ed:

Ed: Eighteen.

Stede: Is he always like this?

Blackbeard: Oh, yeah, you shoulda seen The Great Jenga Tantrum of 1710.

Izzy: IVAN BUMPED THE TABLE AND YOU KNOW IT.