Thesadboisclub - ℭ𝔢𝔫𝔬𝔟𝔦𝔱𝔢 ℭ𝔬𝔲𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔢

MY DEAREST L…

So last night I was laying with L in bed after we shared an intimate night together moments before and I felt discussed with myself, is this normal to feel that way? but like things got a little messy when we were having our moment together and I have OCD maybe it was just my OCD bec after that I had to shower and clean myself, I then got out of the shower and my manic episode started I had to clean my room and I had to move around I also when feeling so many emotions at once I'm not sure if that had anything to do with it. but I was just weird that those feelings came up the way they did but I've felt it before. when I was hooking up with people but I'm not doing that as much anymore bec I don't want to do that with him, so I stopped doing it except for the rare moments when I do but it's so rare now, what I was getting at is that when I was done doing it and I came home from them I would have to shower bec I felt so nasty and gross and I felt that way last night so that's why I'm asking is it normal to feel that way sometimes when I'm with him? it's the first time I've ever felt that way with him. I honestly do think it was just my OCD and that I wasn't taking my meds right I was a bit not sleeping and not doing what I'm supposed to on them and do I like tell him about this or do I keep it to myself? like is there a limit to what you are supposed to talk about with your other half? or are you supposed to be fully transparent with them? I would really like some feedback on this post bec I honestly don't know what to think about it...

My Dearest L...

it’s time is driff off into a dark slumber agian...

“The beat of broken jazz”

It’s a lonely world, everybody tries to hide. 

Behind there dark blue eyes, behind those broken lies.

Did it really hurt, when you left me in the dirt.

The sky is crying, as the thoughts of you are sighing.

Boy the last string to tie was to say goodbye.

I tend to stick in your head, like the last homeless cat you fed.

You're like the beat of broken jazz.

You used to hit strings, in my heart like sweet smooth jazz sings.

In those steam filled showers, passing by those arousing seductive hours.

I found myself face down, trying to pick up my crown.

As you undid my lace, I tried to replace.

All the broken dreams i had to face.

They brought me to a place, where time can’t bring a trace. Of peace back to me.

How am i going to find a way to cope, when i can’t even wash the scars with that bloody red bar of soap.

In the dark, of a lonely park.

Passing the time away, but i only find myself fading away.

Through the wind I've sinned and through the sky I'll fly.

Say goodbye as we dance with the devil tonight.

Give up the fight, we gave it a good try.

Broken and beaten. To nothing we shall remain.

And that will be the end of my pain.

-TheSadBoisClub

My Dearest L...

well, I may have made new friends at my new job, not sure it if will last honestly, but at least I'm trying to put myself out there as much as I don't want to. it will be nice to have some people to have tea and coffee with :)

I started watching the dark shadows show from 1991.

so far is good honestly, i don't have and complaints about it.

SHREK 2 (2004)

I'm so bored, but good morning 😂

I'll be starting to post again soon !! Love you all.🖤🖤

Ever just want to change your whole tumblr aesthetic but don't cuz it's so much work 😩😭😂

My Dearest L...

How i wish you were here with me through my hard time’s!!!