I Know That’s Kind Of The Go-to Thing To Show That A Vampire Character Is “one Of The Good Ones”

The Mists of Avalon, by Marion Zimmer Bradley, was recommended to me by one of my English teachers, who was also at one point my theater teacher. She said it was a feminist retelling of the myths involving Moran and King Arthur. So, I am so sorry to say that it is just…rubbish.

Okay, some of the cultural and fantasy elements are interesting. There is genuinely cool world building done tying everything together, whether that be Avalon itself or Camelot.

But...the characters.

Morgan, or Morgaine, at first acts as a blank slate of sorts. She's interested in the culture that surrounds her, and it's through her eyes that we get to learn about the world. That said, she takes a face-heel turn which is just...bizzare. It's like the plot is going "oh wait, we forgot to make Morgan EVIL so she does things people would consider EVIL" even though the plot doesn't necessarily demand it??? There's this one point where she basically goes "actually you know what doing incest with my brother is fine actually. I should have acted like a girlfriend to him after that and manipulated him to do my bidding" and. girl????? And it feels like the whole way the book is trying to justify it? Like, yeah in the original myth there's a sense of betrayal. But not like this?

And Gwen. Gwenhwyfar. Ohhhh my god. Her introduction is kinda neat, since it gives some perspective on how mentally ill women would have been treated back then. It quickly becomes annoying though. She's a religious fanatic. A Christian religious fanatic. Also she threatens to cheat on Arthur in order to bear a child. Also she's having an affair with Galahad. Gwen just...always has something to complain about. And it's not a good experience to read.

Arthur. Hmmm. He's portrayed as somewhat wishy-washy, constantly being pulled back and forth between the opinions of Gwen and Morgaine. Like...this is such a bad thing for a king to be. But he's honestly somewhat chill?

Plus there are just...so. many. unnecessary. sex. scenes. I would have given the author a bag of caramels for half of them to be fade to black moments.

The author is very clearly pro-pagan and anti-christian. I fall somewhat in line with that, not anti-christian but I can understand why someone would be. That said. The author kind of rubs the faults of christianity in the reader's face. Repeatedly. It's not subtle.

Overall, I have read a lot of retellings of different myths. This might just be my least favourite retelling of a myth ever.

Oh god The Mists of Avalon.....

I read this in middle school. It was a mistake. This book is so far up its own ass. I've read a lot of pretentious books, but this one nearly gets the top spot (nothing could beat out The Dream of Perpetual Motion or literally anything by Donna Tartt).

Morgaine becoming evil definitely felt like Bradley suddenly remembered that she was a villain in the legend and hastily shoved it in. She could have easily not made her evil, and just gone with the idea that history twisted the facts. That would have suited the character better, as well as playing into the "feminist" themes since history does often villianize women who don't deserve it.

And I put "feminist" in quotes because this book is like the definition of White Feminism.

Also, Marion Zimmer Bradley was a horrific person. Not joking or exaggerating here, she was pure evil. Epstein levels of evil. Humbert Humbert evil. Look it up if you want to, but be warned that it is genuinely awful and reading about it is pretty harrowing. There's a reason I chose those specific comparisons.

Cassandra Clare drives me insane. Like. Her books had me insane for years. Then I read Queen of Air and Darkness and. Honest to god that ending.

So. I don't remember most of the books story (let alone how it made up 3 books over 400 pages at the minimum) except that if you were legally recognised as best friends you couldn't fall in love. No one knows the cost of this. The cost turns out to be turning into giant flaming naked people.iirc. That's the ending. No destruction, no one is saved. It's just a thing. That happened.

AND LIKE. WHAT THE FUCK. It's so anticlimactic. I don't get it. I don't get where it came from. I don't get why this was so foreboding. BESIDES THD YKNOW.

Also. What's the trigger for this to happen. Because Alec loved Jace (his legally recognised best friend) but that ended fine. Was it because it wasn't required? Because Alec fell in love with Magnus at the end? IDK. but also in the upside down world, they acknowledge their in love and have sex. Which a) really bad priorities. They're in a world where the villain of the Mortal Instruments committed mass genocide and they're having sex. b) WAS IT JUST SEX STOPPING TBEM?

I'm certain there must be an explanation in the books. But I was so confused even when I was reading it. So either this was made up on the spot or I'm going insane.

Oh my God, I just found out, like today, that the entire Mortal Instruments series takes place over five months!! Five!! Months!! That's it. That is so much in such a short time.

At some point, I am going to have to sit down with those books and comb through them to lay out the time line.

Cause I feel like this is going to be a Pretty Little Liars situation where they acted like Caleb was in Ravenwood for at least a year, but because of the PLL time line, he only visited for like a weekend.

Oh, Jace and Clary are so in love....girl, you have known each other for like a day, sit down.

Also, Clary is a stupid name that I will never take seriously. My brain always autocorrects it to Celery.

Okay I need to talk about Dragon Age.

Specifically, I need to talk about Cailan and Loghain.

So Cailan is presented to us as, well, a glory-seeking dumbass who refuses to listen to the advice of those around him. And that's how he's seen and treated by fans. I'm going to say that's wrong, but I do think it's incomplete.

There's some crucial information that we're given at Ostagar that tends to be overlooked. Ostagar is the fourth battle against the darkspawn. So Cailan has already fought three battles against them by the time we meet him. And nothing in those battles suggested any actual intent or tactics from the darkspawn. No signs of organization. Nothing to suggest an archdemon.

So to me, it does make sense that Cailan isn't taking the idea of a Blight too seriously at this point. All he has to suggest a Blight is Duncan's word. And Grey Wardens have been shown repeatedly to be secretive almost to the point of self sabotage. No one outside of the Wardens knows how they are connected to the darkspawn and can literally hear the archdemon.

We also see that Cailan's other advisors are telling him that it isn't a Blight. There's also the fact that the Wardens were banished from Fereldan for years for revolting against the king. It's only relatively recently that they've been allowed back.

So, while yeah, Cailan's kind of a dumbass, it makes perfect sense that he isn't buying into the idea of a Blight. If you remember that he is operating without the information the audience likely has at this point, he doesn't really have a reason to think it's anything more than an unusually large hoard. And he is taking the perceived threat seriously. He has only seen evidence of a large hoard, and he is responding appropriately to the threat of a large hoard.

It was not his fault that the Wardens won't tell anyone anything.

Now, onto Loghain. First off, fuck this guy. I hate this character so much. He's so fucking boring and I couldn't stand it.

With that out of the way, he fully and intentionally betrayed Cailan at Ostagar.

I will agree that retreating was the most tactical choice and that sending in his troops would not have swung the battle. It would have just been even more slaughter.

But I don't think that's why he retreated. He retreated to ensure that Cailan would die, and that he would be the one who got to control the narrative of what happened. It also made sure that he would still have all of his troops, giving him the advantage in the civil war since the other nobles lost so many troops at Ostagar.

He was also pretty fucking stupid. I mean, the guy went and found the one noble that absolutely everyone else hated and fully allied himself with him. Dumb. Just fucking dumb. Literally everyone other than Cousland hates Howe, and Loghain chooses him to be his right hand man. Honestly, dude probably would have won over a lot more nobles if he hadn't done that.

I don't really know how to end this. But, yeah, Cailan isn't as stupid as he's treated, and Loghain sucked so hard.

why do black people use you in the wrong context? such is "you ugly" instead of "you're ugly" I know u guys can differentiate, it's a nuisance

you a bitch

Work has been absolute hell the last few days. I am utterly exhausted

I--

Hate the Maximum Ride series I hate it. It had so much potential but James Patterson wouldn’t know consistency if it hit him in the face. Like the part where the gang went to Antartica? It felt like I had missed a book with how much had happened. And Izzy’s mom going from dead to actually being married and thinking he was dead? Whack. Within a couple of chapters too like. I could be remembering wrong but what kind of inconsistency was that?

I've never read this series, but because my brain is utterly broken, I have watched multiple hours long videos about it. And even then, with all that knowledge, having it all condensed down to it's most straightforward and coherent, I could in no way give you a cohesive plot summary. Like, I think they stop the apocalypse, stop the climate crisis, and then it doesn't matter because the apocalypse happens anyway? Maybe? I don't know.

I don't think even James Patterson knows.

I'm starting to think he's not even a real person. Just every now and then, a book appears in the world with that name on it. It never goes to an editor, no publishing house actually handles it, it's never even been to a printer. It just appears in bookstores and we as a society just don't question it

You were alive in 2006? How old are you??

If you were born post 2006 you shouldn’t be following me I’m dead serious

I absolutely should not be allowed on Etsy without supervision

It's boy band vs monsters tonight on The Robi Show

Final Fantasy XV tonight at 10:30 EST

-core as a suffix serves the exact same function as -esque and yet they throw tomatoes at me when i say something is kafkacore