The Aslume Is Leaking, None Of Us Are Safe

The Aslume is leaking, none of us are safe

who the FUCK is this

going insane thinking abt the entire main plot of PLA and this poor kid who was abused by everyone through it all.

warning for ramblings and unfiltered thoughts

Man, the whole plotline of this Pokemon game for children is just... heartbreaking, man. Put yourself in the player's shoes for a second and really think about this.

You land face first into the sand on the shores of some village, and you're instantly put into debt by them graciously deciding to not let an amnesiac 15 year old stumble into bear infested woods and die. Everyone is scared of you and you're beaten over the head with how you're a shady freak that no one likes or wants around unless you're useful to The Galaxy Corps. God, I can only imagine the tears the poor kid shed that first night.

You bust your ass and risk your life for the vague cause of "seeking out all Pokemon," because... a funny looking piece of glass told you to. It's literally all you have in this world besides the weird alien freak clothes your weird alien freak ass landed on that beach with. By the way never wear those freak clothes again, you'll wear our clothes, you're with us now- not one of us, god no, no one here likes you. But keep doing your job and we'll probably feed you.

"That hole in the sky you fell out of is making other Pokemon go insane and pose a threat to the natives of this land, so we're making it your job to help them. Yeah, they like, hate hate us, but we made sure to tell them you're connected to the weird sky hole making their lives worse, so they'll hate you most of all. :)"

You keep grinding away at these tasks, blinding chasing the mere chance that maybe, just maybe, you can learn SOMETHING about, about anything, if you just keep handling these frenzied Pokemon, keep researching Pokemon, you have to, it's all you have, it's all you've been told to do and it's all you know anymore. Every day you go out, help people with all your heart has to give, fight with all your body has to give, and every night you come back to the village where your boss desperately needs to remind you how much of an outsider you are, no matter what you do.

Well, at least that twink is nice to you. You do buy stuff from his guild, and he's a little autistic for the ruins you find yourself stumbling around. He even taught you a sick trick on how to surprise and capture Pokemon when they're at their most vulnerable! Waow!

Oh hey, a cute girl moved in next door. From the Diamond Clan you say? They're not the biggest fans of the Galaxy Corps, but she's being welcomed with open arms. She must be doing something vitally important to get such a warm welcome, I mean, everyone hates you and you research Pokemon for god's sake, what could she b- oh. hairdressing? okay cool.

Anyways, it's time to trek to the place in Hisui closest to the weird alien freak hole you fell out of. I wonder how you didn't die from that. Wouldn't that have been something if you had?

Oh hey, that guy also fell out of the freak hole! you're freak hole friends oh my god!!! Yeah man, you only remember your name too, and what a Pokemon is yeah! Yeah dude it sucks, but he must've had such a rough time, I mean you're just a kid and you've been put through the ringer, how's this guy even ALIVE in thi-

He... he was found by the Pearl Clan? and they... they let him stay because he was pretty good with Pokemon...?

...

You're pretty good with Pokemon... Wonder what it would've been like, if you had woken up that day, stuck in a snowbank or in the thick marshland reeds... and not that damn beach...

So, good job defusing the bomb, now go fight the literal, actual, genuine fucking living mountain. No that's not an exaggeration. It's really that big. Watch out for the death lasers kid!

But you've done it! You've proven yourself time and time and timeandtimeandtime again that you can, in fact, do things!!! You can quell frenzied lords, you can teach people about the true nature of the wonderful world they live in, you can be an asset! You're so useful! You're so, so useful, and now you can devote all that usefulness to the Pokedex! The native clans even like you, well, the leaders are at least! And that haircutter girl hasn't slit your throat while she worked on you, you never gave her a reason to but with the way things have been going it wouldn't surprise y- oh my god what was that sound.

Oh it's the end of the world.

"Not to worry bossman!! I'm on the case, this is nothing I can't hand- oh sorry what was that. Oh hi Adaman, hi Irida, what's good? Yeah end of the world, bossman wanted to talk to me. Uh-huh. Okay... Ah, okay. Ooooh, the fact you're not chaining me up is mercy, is it? I am Fifteen Years Old. :("

Okay, well, you're homeless. No worries, though! You've proven yourself to both clans of Hisui a collective... Kleavor, Wyrdeer... Basculegion... Electrode... Avalugg... 10 times now!!! They're sure to lend a hand in your time of absolute crisis, when you need help more than anything! Hi Lian, hey look, things are going to shit and- yeah man yeah, uh, yeah the, the rift. Yeah the rift you fell out of. Oh, no one trusts you? Not even he does?? He's the first person you helped and he immediately blames you??? Whatever man, you're gone. yeah, yeah, no one trusts you, you know dude, thanks for the goddamn reminder. He'd like to help you, but it'd put a "target" on the Pearl Clan...?!

Same story with Mai. The people you've been working for so relentlessly sure do seem to have more of a grip on this region than you anticipated. Well, at least she left you with some words of encouragement instead of a reminder that God hates.

It's over. You have no home, nothing but the Pokemon by your side and the moldy berries in your pocket, and no one wants to help you. Not even that cute hairdresser girl! You spent so much money getting your hair done and redone just to see her... Guess it's time to allow yourself to be eaten by that Alpha Rapidash... HUH?!

Twink!!!! Blonde twink, you're here to- to help?! Genuinely help?! That joke about his main priority being the fact you're his customer was really not fucking needed at this time man but

but oh it’s such a relief!

So this is the place you’re hiding out, huh? Hey Volo, who’s the older lady friend you exclusively call “Mistress” who looks nearly exactly like you? No time for that, Adaman and Irida are here! One of them’s gonna help you in secret, I guess so bossman doesn’t like, pillage their settlement and kill them or something??? Have they always been this afraid of the Galaxy Corps or… whatever, Adaman’s cuter so go with him!

Ah, gotta hunt down three lake guardians, huh. One reminds you that everything you do is pointless and frustrating, one directly asks you how being sent to die felt, and the last one… makes you do math! Messed up.

Anyhow, we’ve got the red chain, so whatever’s gonna come through that hole is gettin’ tied up! Oh, bossman is going up there to fight it himself?! He’s gonna, he’s gonna DIE if we don’t act fast?!?! …you think your Samurott ate some of your moldy berries he has a tummy ache can we let him rest :( no you need to stay and cuddle him it’s the only way he can sleep really :(

Okay, okay, let’s go and deal with God or whatever. Hi bossman, oh you need to go through him, okay boom done now let you at God, you have some words for Him. Oh that’s not God just a god, okay let’s use the chain to- uh-oh, okay, old fashioned way! Catch that god of time in a wooden ball real nice, now if they’ll excuse you, there’s a lonely older woman in the woods who could use some- there’s another what coming out of the rift behind you?

Okay, no one died (sad!) and Irida somehow picked up the remains of the chain, despite being in the back of the group, good work??? Yes bossman, you agree, he was a giant stupid piece of-

"A dependable attitude indeed. Yes, let us move on. No need to speak any further about my rash actions. Not to mention my loss of composure..."

"It seems that having <player> about has been a good influence on all."

WOAHWOAHWOAHWOAH ARE WE REALLY NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT ANY OF THAT. DO THEY REALLY EXPECT YOU TO JUST GO BACK TO BEING A PART OF THE GALAXY CORPS SO EASILY?! TO OVERLOOK EVERYTHING THEY DID TO YOU, THE HORRIBLE WAY THEY TREATED YOU, THE THREATS THEY’VE MADE TO YOU AND THE PEOPLE AND POKEMON OF THIS LAND?!

Well the plot demands it, so, you will!!!!! Go drag out the last hour of this story to make a fancy ball, go catch the other guy at rift, peace at last.

Whatever, man. At least the blonde twink still has your back. He wants to go collect those plates you were incidentally coming into possession of! Sounds fun, let’s go! You need a nice, fun adventure with an actual friend, who wasn’t afraid to put himself at risk for you. Things are looking up!

…

Oh my god.

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