Poop, Poor Consulting Detective... Want Me To Bite And Poison The Stairs For You, @consult-sherlockholmes?

Yes, I was! I was just too drunk to say no and accidentally turned into my human form! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍☺️😌😁😉😋😅👀😳🙂😏👉🏻👈🏻

👀

.....Ah, it's a "sip of the ol' 50 year whisky day".

I would never eat you though, @consult-sherlockholmes! You're practically just skin and bones! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍😇🤭😁☺️😳😉😋🥳🤣😂😌🙂🥺💯👀👉🏻👈🏻

I just cut my dick off, and it's bleeding a lot... What do I do, doctor?

Uh, cauterize it?

could we get some slender bros NSFW hcs?

(Creepypasta x Headcanon) NSFW Headcanons for the Slender Brothers -

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- Slenderman, as we all know, doesn’t like humans and probably has a very low sex drive. If it was ever high, I would go run and hide because he would probably turn into another Sexual Offenderman, but worse. Obviously, he has a thing with using his tendrils to pleasure his partner and doesn't care if anyone walks in on him getting some action. 

- Splendorman may look like a sweet-heart and all innocent on the outside, but on the inside, he’s very kinky and dirty, he just doesn’t like that side of him, so he hides it away. His sex drive is also pretty low and there’s no need to worry if it ever gets high, he’s very good at controlling himself. He likes blindfolding his partner and would be very embarrassed if someone walked in on him. 

- Trenderman, the OCD brother out of all of them. He’s fascinated in humans but also cringes at them. When he found out they do NSFW things with each other, he was horrified. Watching humans ripping off each other’s clothes and throwing them on the ground is like a horror movie for him. To say the least, he’s not interested in anything that’s NSFW and you would probably never see him with a partner. If he did have a partner, do expect to see him making revealing clothes for them. 

- Sexual Offenderman... must I say more? His sex drive is high and is always high. He doesn’t care about genders so everyone is basically doomed when he’s around. He’s into the most kinkiest things ever. Here’s a list of his kinks: Sadism (Inflicting pain or humiliating his partner), Impact play (spanking, whipping, flogging - any kind of strike), Voyeurism (getting off from watching other people have sex), Katoptronophilia (anyone who loves having sex or masturbating in front of mirrors), Edgeplay (Considered riskier than usual kinks. It involves knives, blood, needles and more.), BDSM, BNT (involves inflicting pain on a woman's breasts and nipples), CBT (involves inflicting pain on a man's penis or testicles)... 

Can I join? I've never been to France either. 🕷️❤️🥰😘😍😭😁😋🥳😳🥹🥺☺️😌😉😇👉🏻👈🏻 *Cleans my fangs*

"Hello Irene," the Doctor smiled as he walked out of the TARDIS for their weekly trip in time and space. The Doctor had been enjoying their time traveling together and had just the idea for a place to go today. "How do you feel about France?" he asked her.

Never been. By which I mean, I'd love to be in France. Are you offering?

They look like they're having a lunch date! 🕷️❤️✨

omnomnomnomnom(devouring a flower together)

Do you have any headcannons for slender?

Sure do~

Slenderman Headcanons: 

He should be considered a mafia boss with the number of people working for him.

But he's more accurately like a father with a bunch of children he hires to do work.

He's in charge of the entirety of the manor. What jobs are coming in, who does them, financial stability, electricity, water, medical needs, house repairs, etc.

In the Underworld, the mansion would be considered a business, and Slenderman is the CEO of said business. He recruits all of the residents in the mansion and they then form a sort of contract with him. This gives them immortality for the duration of the contract, grants them disguises when in the human world for reasons other than work, and it grants them room and board at the mansion.

He can project his voice outside normally, although if he needs to have a private conversation with someone he can do it inside their mind. He tries not to do this too often as he views it as an invasion of privacy.

He tries to maintain a personal level with all the residents of the mansion to make sure relationships amongst them are going well and nobody is getting too depressed, too dangerous, too angry. He likes to look out for them.

He thoroughly enjoys reading as his favorite hobby. In the mansion he has a huge library in the center of it that's several stories and has just about every book you can think of. He collects medical ones sometimes for EJ, some manga for BEN, or some YA novels for the younger creeps. One time Jane and Natalie got him into a few different YA romance novels and even though it wasn't his normal taste he got pretty into them and they talked about them over tea. This sparked a weekly book club that any of the residents can partake in.

He's also quite fond of poetry, and he even writes his own. He has that stored in the library as well although it's in a hidden section only a few people can access.

King of the kitchen. He can make just about any dish you could think to want. Being alive for so long grants you lots of time to experiment and try different foods. 

Loves gardening and has a huge garden that circles the entirety of the mansion. He takes an extreme amount of pride in it and thinks any residence isn't complete without some flowers. He is very protective of it and only allows a select few to manage it, Toby is one of them as it puts him to work and he too values flowers and nature.

Welcome back, Sweetie! 🕷️❤️🥰😍😘😌☺️😁😉🥺🤭🤣😂🤦🏻‍♀️✨👉🏻👈🏻

forgor my login

Hey! My exoskeleton is ✨fabulous✨! Besides, I bet these canibalso were on a diet! Much like your brother, but with my dicipline! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍🤭😁😳😉😋🥳🤣😂🙂😇😌☺️😏💯👀👉🏻👈🏻

I just cut my dick off, and it's bleeding a lot... What do I do, doctor?

Uh, cauterize it?

How do the slender brothers flirt/inpress someone

Slender: he’s not doing that unless you explicitly tell him how you want him to. He’ll die of shame if he tries anything else, no matter how successful he is.

Offender: hey bby you look hot af lemme get your number

Splendor probably just makes a lot of compliments!! He may try to show off how good he is with kids and be all “"hey, wouldn’t it be nice if we raised kids together!?” but that’s the most nsfvv it’s gonna get

Trender: “"Oh, my, your clothing… it appears to be torn… and the stitches… they’re about to come out…, take your clothes off so i can fix them for you…………. besides you look better nude.”

Exactly! And no other spider can ever replace me I hope!! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍😉😏😋☺️🤭😁😌🥺🥹😳🙂💯👀👉🏻👈🏻

Would u like a pet cat or something more exotic? A spider perhaps?

I have a Spider already, thanks.

A cat might threaten it.