I've Realized That A Lot Of The Things People Who Abide By The Social Expectations Say Are From Their

i've realized that a lot of the things people who abide by the social expectations say are from their own perspectives and they cannot be accurately applied to my trans experience.

'don't transition, you're just insecure/mentally ill/traumatized(/whatever other reasons they have)' are all the failed attempts of a cis person empathizing in a way that ranges from inconvenient at best to transphobic at worst, depending on where they take their assumptions, and these perspectives don't take dysphoria (or euphoria, on the contrary) into consideration as a reason someone might want to transition, because cis people don't know the extent of our dysphoria, as well as the other experiences that we experience alongside it.

this attempt shouldn't be taken too seriously; it happens with many other people as well. 'you're just lazy' (against disabled people) 'you'll meet the right one someday' (against aspecs) 'just go outside, you'll feel better' (against mentally ill people and those facing worser issues besides mere depression) 'just go ahead and try it' (against neurodivergent people as well as those with physical disabilities), 'you'll be grateful when you get older' (against people who faced parental abuse), do these perspectives sound familiar? they all come from the people giving you advice in a way that worked for them, as a person abiding by the social expectations; many people aren't sure what empathy really means, and ao they empathize by giving eachother advice. those answers genuinely work for others like them; they won't for us. in worser scenarios, we're judged or hated because of their failed empathization. and because we're kept near the sidelines, and they manage to help eachother, anyone who doesn't empathize in the way they do is thrown out. people with low empathy and those expressing it in different ways also suffer from this. but even those who abide by the social standards aren't entirely accurate with their empathy, if they have it.

and i just wanted to share this, for anyone who's suffering from internalized transphobia (and perhaps other self views about other parts of your identity), in case it might help you distance yourself from it and worry less about whether they're right. they're not, because they're judging you from their viewpoint as a cis person. try not to take it to heart; you're fine the way you are, i promise.

Submitted May 27, 2023