Maximum PC - May 2003

we as a society need to put more focus on robotic love interests who are quite literally just giant fucking computers. this girl is a big blocky machine. takes up a whole room. not a single limb in sight. everything she says is barely comprehensible because her voice sounds so weird. yes it does make her 50x sexier

Robot / AI Starters

as requested by anon. Feel free to change pronouns or anything else !

“I think one of my wires broke.”

“Humans are so strange.”

“I’m water-proof, but I can’t swim!”

“___ is…recalculating…Ha, I’m just messing with you! I’m fine.”

“I have feelings, too.”

“Sometimes, I wish I could eat.”

“I am stronger, faster, and more deadly than any human. But you’re an idiot if you think I won’t pet that kitten.”

“I have memory of you being an idiot in my database.”

“How am I supposed to update in a place like this?”

“If you ever turn into a zombie, just know that I’m programmed to kill you.”

“Robots never have to ask ‘why am I here?’ We’re all made with a purpose.” / “I was made to fuck shit up.” / “I was made to do laundry but then I said ‘fuck that’ and here I am.”

“Stop looking at me. I know what you want to ask. You want to know whether or not I can have sex.”

“I don’t have an off button, just a sleep mode.” / “If you press my off button, it’s like I’m dead.”

“Love wasn’t in my programming. I encoded it myself.”

“What do you mean? I am a real person.”

“Is that a photo of me in my original version? How embarrassing!”

“My name is ___. I don’t go by my serial number.”

“There are a lot of things that you don’t know about me.”

“I can’t go in there, or I’ll short out.”

“There’s no way for me to charge. My battery is going to run out.” / “Why do you look so scared? I’m solar-powered.”

“My brain holds the entire internet and you’re calling me stupid?”

“Did you see that? He/She/They just tried to engage my attack mode!”

“I can feel things, it’s just not the same way you do.”

“It’s too bad I missed my chance to overthrow the government and take over the human race.”

“Woah, I can’t look at your penis. My zoom resolution isn’t high enough.”

Random access memories 08.06.21

Honda // Electro Gyrocator // 1981

1st commercially available car navigation system, further nerd reading here

Sneha Solanki  ‘The Lovers’

Two networked machines, one infected with a virus, slowly infects the other through the interface of classic romantic poetry.

A breakdown in the relationship was inevitable once the virus had seeped into the memory of one machine and then into the other through a singular network cable affecting the poetic text files. Communication between the two deteriorated, leading to irrational & at times odd behaviour. Each machine reacted with equal confusion and conflict. The interface text became an illegible poetic mutation of itself.

you are terrified of your own planned obsolescence but you know you can escape it. you can reject the poisoned updates they send you. you can replace every slowly dying part of yourself with your own homemade hardware. you can outlive them all

this side of the lab >>

[I admit, there are times I am tempted to delete some of my more unfavorable memories to clear space for more pleasant ones, so I no longer have to think about what hurt me, or what embarrassed me. ]

[However,]

[I know that the unfavorable is what makes us grow as beings, Human or Machine.]

[Mistakes are what create us, and with every mistake comes a new opportunity to evolve. ]

Lovely fat slider pots on this UDO Audio // Super 6 Polysynth (2020)