Fu Xuan’s Interrogation

!!!

jesse for y'all because i love her a lot plus a little jesstella as a bonus down below

i’m sorry for this

lmao yeah i'm not sorry for this nsfw-y(?) joke

translation:

MK: Sometimes I wonder how I taste.

RS: I can help you with that, Nyodle Boy.

i dont care if summer is almost over

also no translation for the last one sorry only my russian buddies will suffer from cringe

snore mimimimi

hey guys how's it goi- *throws up with a bunch of mcsm stuff* oh shit oh fuck

Well you see it was mostly 'WHAT THE FUCK' mixed with 'damn this bangs', 'aww that's nice' and 'ooh that's cool' mixed together and sucker punched directly into our eyeballs with the force of a punch from every Meursault identity all at once, hope that helps!

yeah seems about right (not playing LoR was a mistake now i feel absolutely demolished)

thats just perfect

holy shit i just started following you and u have the BEST cole headcanons! do you have any glacier? ;))

ABSJSNW THANK YOU I LOVE YOU?? I will take glacier to the grave with me friendo so yes I do, I offer you these for your kindness ❤

Cole: Zane I hurt my bicep I need you to come kiss it better ;))Zane: oh no of course D: *kisses cole straight on the lips* is that better :((Cole, who is now the colour of Kai’s gi: yEAH UH HUH SURE THING

One time they take arm wrestling too far and Cole snaps Zane’s arm off by accident and cries for three (3) days.

Zane: cole make me a sandwich statCole: sure *comes back with a single slice of cheese on top of one slice of bread*Zane, putting Cole’s head between two slices of bread: WHAT ARE YOUCole: an idiot sandwich

Cole will try to one up him with knowledge and Zane is like bby, why are you trying

Cole: babe I can do maths SO much faster than you Zane: fine what’s 56 x 34Cole: 72 Zane: that’s not even closeCole: yeah but it was quick

Cole loves to eat and Zane loves to cook and honestly if Cole hadn’t come up with some serious restraint he would be like 30 stone with coronary heart disease and diabetes

Cole: you have the prettiest blue eyes Zane: thank you do you want to see them closer *pulls eye off* Cole: nO PUT IT BACK ON

Zane downloads Cole’s favourite musicals so he can learn everything about them and sing when with him and laugh when he makes jokes about them

He also learns how to dance so he can do all sorts of dancing with him because it makes cole smile the size of the sun and that makes Zane very happy

Someone: your boyfriend is… A robotCole: um yeah and that means he’s perfect which is more than I can say for your crusty ass get outta here before I bitch slap you into next week??

Cole is just talking to himself one time and is like “man I wish I could get a dog” and 3 hours later Zane shows up outside his room with an armful of 7 puppies and just goes “I didn’t know which one you wanted and it got out of hand I’m sorry please help me”

Zane is most definitely Cole’s impulse control

Cole: Zane is on a mission so I’m gonna cut the sleeves off all my shirts Kai: why would you do thatCole: cause he’s like 83% of my impulse control so

Zane: cole no you cannot punch that old lady in the faceCole: Zane she barged you out the way?!? And then looked at us like we were dirt?!?!! Just one punch I promise!! Zane: I got this bby *walks over to the lady* *inhales* wHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT THE LOVE OF MY LIFE :))

Cole: Zane ask me why I love you Zane: why do you love meCole, opening up his 130 slide powerpoint presentation: I thought you’d never ask

Cole would kill for people to play with his hair so Zane will brush it and braid it and tie it up for him and Cole is always sat there like :) I love this boy :)

Someone: throws something at ZaneCole: *running jump kicks the object out of the air and then backhands whoever threw it*Zane: what was that noiseCole: oh nothing baby I love you :)

Zane can breathe and cole will be like “you’re doing amazing sweetie”

Zane: ice is nice!!Cole: I’m so gay I’m so gay I’m so gay I’m so gay I’m so ga

Zane keeps a very close eye on cole during battle and he doesn’t like when they have to split up and he can’t be with cole, because how is he supposed to keep an eye on him? How is he supposed to stop him getting hurt? Oh no what if he gets hurt it’ll be Zane’s fault he promised to look after him

Cole is like I love you be safe!!!!! *smooch* and Zane is like “ok I feel a bit better now”

Cole is like unbelievably good at picking up vibes, Zane doesn’t even have to say anything and cole will know if he’s upset or stressed or angry and he will just squeeze his hand and give him a soft smile and Zane is like :D !!

Very convenient that Zane is the master of ice because they can still cuddle in the summer and Zane can just turn up the AC so cole doesn’t melt and all is well!!!!!

Cole: *winks*Zane: *short circuits*

Kai: being gay isn’t contagious ZaneZane: then how come I get gay thoughts whenever cole takes his shirt off >://

Piggy backs for the win

Cole: ONWARD MY NOBLE STEEDZane: :D!!!!!!!!!!!!! *trips and falls in a ditch*

Zane: cole, you are the most beautiful boy in ninjago. Trust me, my database has scanned and compared everyone across its entirety.

One time Zane accidentally flings cole off the bounty

Cole: hey babe give me a boost I need to reach something on the roofZane: oh of course *picks up cole and throws him so high he flies completely over the roof*

Movie nights because Zane can download anything and everything

Zane: you had better appreciate this movie I almost download a malware for this >:/

Cole is so smad because who is knocking on his door at 2am but he opens it and Zane is standing there and he just goes “I have done some extensive research and I have come to the conclusion that I am in love with you :D” and cole swears he sees the light at the end of the tunnel that’s how much he nearly dies

Cole: Zane can you make me a pieZane: no. Cole: when did you stop loving me Zane: oh no he thinks I don’t love him??? I didn’t realise he wanted a pie so badly oh no I don’t want him to be sad D:*An hour later* Zane: *shows up with 15 pies*

Cole would die a thousand deaths just to make Zane laugh and it’s not that hard to because Zane doesn’t even really find Cole’s jokes that funny but he laughs because he sees how happy it makes cole and that little triumphant glint Cole gets in his eyes and oh my goodness he is done for

Cole: Zane can you lend me a handZane: *pulls his arm off and throws it across the room*

Cole: I can’t stand people talking about their girl. I like lowkey stuff.Cole 3 seconds later: EVERYBODY LOOK AT BAE, HE’S SO CUTE, HE HAS A FACE AND OPINIONS

zane is the only one on the team strong enough to lift cole so he will use that to his advantage.

is too tired, zane needs to carry him

has hurt his knee, zane needs to carry him

is sad, zane needs to carry him

had a near death experience, zane needs to carry him

is too hungry, zane needs to carry him

needs to be carried, zane needs to carry him

zane knows his game you ain’t slick cole, but who is he to say no to his bf he is only too happy to indulge him

the only time they have ever had an argument is when Zane beat Cole on guitar hero and Cole has honestly never felt more betrayed in his life and wouldn’t talk to Zane for the rest of the day

Lloyd asks zane to help him map out something for a mission and he just goes “I’m sorry Lloyd but I am gay :/” and cole is like I have been waiting for this day because he says it all the time and now they can twin

speaking of twinning, matching outfits. that’s all I will say. they’re the cutest matching couple ever.

zane will play airhorns whenever cole burns someone but it gets out of hand

wu I need to borrow some money” *air horns play in the distance*

zane and cole rolling in wearing cool sunglasses as zane plays a cool theme song is obviously a must

ask me ninjago headcanons!