Whoa

I love The Onion

Ted Cruz Provides Detailed Response To Moderator’s Question About Why His Face So Fucking Infuriating 

HOUSTON—Responding to moderator Wolf Blitzer’s question about why voters who look at him are overwhelmed with feelings of intense aggravation and disgust, presidential candidate Ted Cruz provided a comprehensive outline during Thursday night’s GOP debate laying out exactly why his face is so fucking infuriating. “Ever since I was a child, I have had a weaselly, piece-of-shit face that you can’t help but want to hit, and that’s never changed—how many other candidates on this stage can say that?” said Cruz, adding that oftentimes when he looks in the mirror, even he wants to drive a screwdriver through his eyes so he never has to see his stupid, boxy head and waggling, doughy chin ever again.

More.

I actually had that Nintendo Power issue once.

Notice Fox McCloud’s legs? Or, to be more exact, his lack of them? Yeah, it looks like Fox and friends all have metallic legs. It seems like a random detail they added to make the characters look cooler, but there’s a disturbing explanation for it. In real life, fighter jet pilots and astronauts have to wear a G-suit – tight clothing that prevents gravity from making blood rush into their legs. Without a G-suit, they’d just pass out, and studies have found that pilots are at least twice as bad at their jobs while unconscious.

However, the Star Fox games are set in a futuristic society populated by fashion-conscious anthropomorphic animals. The implication is clear: They had their legs amputated as a way to deal with intense G-forces that didn’t involve sacrificing their precious open blazers.

And before you argue that the ships’ G-diffusers take care of the gravity problem, let us pre-emptively outnerd you by pointing out that this feature wasn’t introduced until Star Fox 64 (at which point Fox and pals probably felt kind of silly). And sure, Star Fox Adventures showed the characters wearing pants and boots, but that game wasn’t developed by Nintendo, plus they could still have robot legs under there. Also, this would explain why Fox is so fast in the Super Smash Bros. games – he’s a freaking cyborg.

5 Disturbing Details You Didn’t Notice in Famous Video Games

This is awesome

Pardon our swag 😎 👯✨

(🎨: @minkas75)

How unique!

This kills me.

I hope I hope I hope

Eight men out… of the 1990s. Maybe something new coming from the Mr. Show gang in the new year?

So like, tires and apes?

It's gorgeous!

Some screenshots from the short movie Wanderers by Erik Wernquist. 4 minutes worth your time.

I'm mostly ear lol