Ow 🥺

Can we please just start oppressing gamers now?

fall out boy // church

I imagine that Peter Parker is probably pretty similar to the way Tony Stark was at his age, and so like Tony works out some of his habits and stuff pretty early on. And because they spend so much time in the workshop together it’s easy to fall into a rhythm and stuff. Tony learns that Peter knows Spanish and Italian, and so they sometimes wander off into either of those languages so they can keep eachother on their toes. When they’re both Deep in The Zone™ and talking takes up too much brain space that they need to focus on their work, they sort of learn to communicate through knocking against the table a certain amount of times to signal when they need a tool or a helping hand or something. Occasionally one of them just throws out huge strings of numbers or equations and the other replies with an equally mind-boggling formula before they drift off into focused silence again.

Anyway now imagine someone like Steve or Rhodey walking in and like. Trying to understand how the FUCK these two are communicating with eachother. Tony knocked three times and Peter gave him a screwdriver and made them both coffee? They just??? Fucking slip into Colloquial Spanish sometimes without any forewarning? Last night Tony literally just stared at Peter for twenty seconds straight and then Peter said ‘four’ and it was apparently what Tony had been looking for because he gave a thumbs up and then turned back to his project???????

I actually had a chance and I think that’s what hurt the most.

- I’m a dumbass

Steve Harrington. The OG Ally

Nancy Wheeler being a bad ass with a gun!

Surviving IKEA

Never enter near closing hours.

Do not mispronounce IKEA product names. What you summon will haunt you.

Do not trust the arrows.

Walls shift and new ones appear out of nowhere.

Avoid, at any cost, staying after closing hours.

Do not ask employees for directions to the exit. Most of them have been trapped inside the building ever since they signed the contract. These once happy and good people have grown spiteful. Do not trust them. They want you to stay.

Make the bed after trying it out. It makes them less angry.

In case you are trapped:

Find John. He has lived in the store for six years, unnoticed.

Avoid eye contact with employees roaming around.

Hide whenever possible.

The ghost families living in the showrooms won’t betray you.

Do not steal any pencils. It will give away your position.

Avoid walking through the bed area. The creatures sleeping there won’t appreciate your presence.

When music from the 30s starts blasting through the speakers, Walter, the handyman, has noticed you and wants to drive his screwdriver through your ear.

Run.

He often shouts jokes chasing you followed by the laughter of IKEA personnel echoing throughout the store. Never let your guard down.

Open as many wardrobes as you can. Some of them are magic portals. Pray that you find one in time before he finds you.

Only go through a portal when absolutely necessary. What you find on the other side is often not pleasant.

If there is no other option, try pronouncing the name of the IKEA furniture closest to you. The ground will start to shake. Prepare yourself for the worst.

More guides

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If you are a researcher or adventurer and want to share a guide, join our subreddit!

*rolls eyes* I could go on for hours about this…

Pro Tip

If you’re a rookie (or heck, a really annoying veteran marcher) don’t try to patronize those who are older or more experienced than you unless they are very clearly in the wrong (for example, 15 steps ahead of the line). It’s not only disrespectful more often than not, but chances are you don’t know what you’re talking about and they will be able to realize and correct their own mistakes without input from someone who doesn’t have as much experience as they do (assuming they’re self-aware enough to realize they’re not perfect). Plus, if it’s really an issue the directors will address it, you should probably just focus on learning your own show.

(And all you older/more experienced marchers, don’t be jerks when know you’re in the wrong)