"I Hate It When People Find My Corpse..."

"Lungs are probably everywhere"

"What happens if you inject AI with adrenaline?"

"I'm gorgeous, it's my personality that's the problem."

“I am a thot and Thor.”

"Can you live without a brain?"

"I am feeling emotions and I am not sure how to deal with it."

Convesation between my mum and brother

Brother: He was in the way so we killed him

Mum: You killed your friend in his sleep?

B: It gets worse...

M: ...

B: ...

M: ...

B: We skinned him.

M: ...

B: We needed the leather!

“I’m as straight as this ruler!”

-Me, while snapping my ruler in half

"I'm not gonna finish that sentence for legal reasons."

“Actually I’m Captain America.”

-My science teacher