Nobody's Hiring These Days | Bungo Stray Dogs | Dazai X Reader

hi deer :3

i drew a deer the other day and thought of you but tumblr is crushing my dreams and wont let me send a pic through anon 🥲

anyway, good luck on your finals I BELIEVE IN YOU

-🩵

omg hii 🩵anon!! yeh tumblr doesnt allow anons to send pictures :( i appreciate the thought tho 🥺🥺 im sure its v cute!

and THANK YOU!!!!! im doing my best!!!! i have one more big project, one exam and one quiz and then im finally home free 😭

2023 2024 2025 my year

all characters have versatility if you're willing to write ooc enough

i like to think dazai would be like the textbook definition of cheesy in a relationship. ik it’s a popular hc people have for him to be noncommittal and not a good partner but i honestly think he wouldn’t be as bad at being a partner as some people think (but i do respect the hc’s and the angst is always well written) i just personally think he’s super whipped for his s/o and obsessed to the point everyone else is who now??

HEUIHFSH SAME pathetically smitten dazai is my FAVORITEEE uurrggg .... he’s so pathetic loser........ this is why i love dazai he’s so versatile :) i need him pathetic crying over me and i need him unable to say he loves me at all oooouh ..,

His feet nudged yours under the desks once again. You looked up at him with a curious glance, waiting to see why he needed your attention, but no such answer came. Dazai merely continued to gaze at you, lovesick written all over his face as it started turning red. They're looking at me! ran through his head, almost forgetting that he had nudged you in the first place.

"What are you doing, you moron?" Kunikida spoke angrily, annoyed Dazai was blowing off his work once more.

"Staring at my partner. They're so pretty, don't you think?" His words made you smile, which caused him to melt all over again. "See? See!? Ahh, love... Your smile could light up the whole city of Yokohama. If you weren't already mine, I'd tell you to use your powers for good. But I couldn't live with myself if you had to go away!"

Kunikida's face contorted in confusion. "Go away..? What are you blabbering on about this time?"

"Once the government learns my darling's smile can rejuvenate and revitalize people they'll put them to work!" He pouts. "I'll never get to see them again when they're out saving lives!" He throws his head back dramatically, hand draping over his heart.

While your blond coworker groaned in annoyance—mainly at himself for asking—you merely chuckled. "That's alright. I wouldn't want to be away from you for long, either."

Dazai gasped, standing up suddenly. "You mean it?! Ohhh, how you just warmed my heart!~ My lovely partner wants to stay by my side! Kunikida, trade desks with me!"

"What, no! Why?!"

"I need to sit next to my beloved! If we're apart, I can't get any work done!"

"You can't get any work done, anyway!"

Dazai is antsy. For those who've seen him regularly the past month, this isn't a new sight: him pulling at the edges of his bandages, shifting continuously in his seat, eyes flittering back and forth... It happens daily at this point.

Until you show up, when he jumps into your arms, drapes himself over your back, leans into your side, anything he can do to be as physically close to you as possible. His clinginess has started to affect your work, unable to do much as Dazai pulls you onto his lap during the day or sits on yours, head pushed into your shoulder. At least lunches are fine as he pulls you onto the Agency's couch and holds you from behind: you can still access your packed food (which Dazai always steals bites of).

Holding your hand isn't enough, either. Dazai needs to be on top of you or have you on top of him, or he's antsy — which leads us to now. He's shifting uncomfortably in the passenger seat of your car, the edges of his bandages unraveling as he picks at them. A small look of panic crosses his face as he finally notices, discretely trying to pull them more tightly in hopes of bringing them back to how they were before.

He glances over at you. Your eyes were focused on the road, one hand holding the steering wheel and the other resting on your lap. The hand was taunting Dazai, practically begging him to grab it... so he did. You glance at the intertwined hands briefly before smiling at him, focusing back on the road right after.

...

It wasn't helping. You're right there and he can't hold you? So close he can smell you but can't have you in his embrace?! This must be his own hell, fashioned by Satan himself to torture Dazai for all eternity (or for the next ten minutes before you reach your destination).

"You alright, Dazai?"

He huffs at your question; Of course not. The childish pout on his face makes you let out a breathy laugh. He turns to you with such adoration - what an adorable sound that he coaxed out of you... Ugh, it just makes him want to hold you more.

You squeeze his hand reassuringly, the feeling causing Dazai to relax momentarily... Until once again he's thinking about the warmth of your hand, and how much warmer it'd be to hold you.

"How much longer?" He whines, the same pout on his lips.

"GPS says seven minutes. Are you that excited for this case?" An amused smirk plays on your lips, the teasing tone making Dazai's heart flutter.

He shifts in his seat, the hand not holding yours fidgeting with the fabric of his vest. "Excited for it to be over," he replies, trying to keep his gaze out the window and not on you.

"Seven minutes, and then you can solve it."

Seven minutes. Seven long, excruciating minutes in hell before he can touch you again, hold you again. Seven minutes, 420 seconds, a few red lights and then a shoddy parking job. Seven minutes... seven...

You let out a yelp, eyes widening as you swerve slightly on the road. "Dazai!" You chastise, both hands moving to tightly grip the steering wheel.

His face is pressed up against your neck, hands grabbing you tightly as he leans over the car's center console to be closer. A stupid grin sits on his lips as he giggles, feeling heady from your warmth. Mmm, this is what he was missing...

"Dazai, I'm driving!" you say, as though the man would understand and move off of you. Instead, he lets out a low whine and hugs you tighter, entirely off of his seat and pressing up against you.

"I'm not stopping you." Your gaze shifts over towards him. "Eyes on the road." You huff, but do as he says. His eyes were closed, how could he see you looking at him?

"You can't do this, Dazai."

"It's like you said: it's only seven minutes," Dazai grinned smugly. Part of him wanted to ask why you didn't like him holding you so closely, but he knew you didn't mind. Should he be clinging to you while you're driving? Probably not, but then maybe you shouldn't be so warm and inviting.

You say nothing else, now focused entirely on the road with a tight grip on the steering wheel. Dazai says nothing either: after all, he got what he wanted.

I think Dazai would like mess around with your makeup stuffs and pretends he’s you doing your makeup and he’s like HUH how tf do you use this??

you definitely yell at him for wasting products!!! what i know about makeup is that it is Not Cheap.

dazai stares at you like a deer in headlights, your favorite eyeshadow pigment decorating the tips of his fingers. did he have to try and swatch all of them..?

you’d gently sit on the edge of your vanity, telling dazai what each product does, how to properly apply it, and helping him to doll himself up like you do.

he’s all giggly the whole time, not immune to the excitement that comes from making yourself look pretty! but he’s mainly giggly because the one helping him is you ❤️

when it finally comes time for lipstick, you help him pick out a nice shade that works well with the rest of the colors he’s since applied, and he excitedly stops you before you can put it on!

“i know how to do this one, i know!” he’ll say animatedly, swiping the tube from your hand and uncapping it.

you watch in amusement as he lathers his lips, deciding not to mention that sometimes less is more. he looks too cute, who are you to stop him?

Legs swinging back and forth, you watch him from your position on the vanity’s surface. Your hands gripped the edge of the piece, keeping yourself stable as he finally recaps the lipstick tube and sets it on the now messy table, all of your properly organized pieces in disarray from Dazai’s attempt at playing dress-up.

Even though it was applied haphazardly, he looked very pretty with his big brown eyes and now full lips, eyes showcasing an impish glint and lips accompanied by a mischievous smirk. You knew Dazai well enough to know he was planning something, but it was hard to decipher just what.

“You’re gorgeous,” you smirk back, still amused even while silently noting his coy expression. Teasing, you add, “I can’t believe I was able to land such a pretty girl.”

Dazai’s grin doesn’t falter. “Not done! Next you’re supposed to blot, right?”

His words make you smile. “If you want to, yes.” And he definitely should, judging by how much of the tube he just used up. $30 well spent, you suppose.

A yelp escapes your lips before his are pressed to yours, arms wrapped around your neck from yanking you down towards the vanity chair he sat in. Dazai couldn’t help the small smile on his face as he held you close, eyes fluttered shut as he enjoyed the kiss.

Your hands moved from the edge of the vanity to his shoulders, not wanting to topple forward as you kissed back. Yeah, $30 well spent.

Nikolai Gogol asks you to stay. You decline.

This is part of a series of standalone works about Nikolai Gogol. The rest can be found here including content warnings for each separate part.

general cw: yandere tendencies (possessiveness, manipulation...), very toxic, could be dubcon?, he deffo doesn't ask you to stay he more just tells you to, sorry! "deline" cw: above + solidly dubcon, nikolai is the worst, sorry in advance

Pinned down onto Nikolai's couch, he sinks his teeth into you again and again, littering your skin with harsh bruises as he marks up your neck.

"Don't leave," he nearly growls, pressing gentle kisses over the bites.

You shift underneath him, shying away from his harshness. "Nikolai," comes out breathlessly, the sound catching in your throat as your hands grip his shirt tightly to try and keep yourself grounded.

The white-haired man looks at you beneath him as his hands clamp down on your waist, holding you tighter as he moves his lips to your shoulder. For a few moments, Nikolai plants kisses along your neck while you catch your breath. Just before you can fully calm down, his teeth are right back on your collarbone and biting down with reckless abandon.

"Stay," he growls once more, teeth digging in to send another batch of shockwaves all across your body.

You whimper beneath him, thrashing tirelessly under his hold. "Nooo!"

Hot breath against your skin and sharp teeth grazing your flesh overwhelms your senses, sending you into a spiral while his fingers trail up and down your arms gently. It's hard to soothe someone while also causing them pain, but Nikolai's ministrations lead to your thrashing subsiding, chest heaving up and down as you merely breathe against him.

"It hurts?" he asks hoarsely.

The only response he gets is a feverish nod. Your eyes are screwed shut as your hands fumble with his shirt, clenching and unclenching the black fabric. It's an attempt to ground yourself, but your stinging neck keeps it from fully working.

Nikolai looks down at you, his eyebrows raised as he slides his teeth against your neck again, this time applying only enough pressure to be noticeable, ghosting over your bruised and ruined skin.

Monotonously, he replies, "Then I won't stop," as though merely stating a fact and not deciding your fate. Your breath catches, holding it for a moment while he lets out a low growl of satisfaction.

An unwanted hiccup passes your lips, tears spilling from your eyes while squirming beneath him. The feeling of pain clouds your mind, your head spinning from the sensations he's causing.

"Keep struggling," he demands softly while his eyes flare with excitement.

"Niko...lai," you pant.

The man grins excitedly over you, seemingly taking this as a challenge as he increases his biting pressure. Nikolai's tongue licks around the areas he's previously bruised before his teeth sink into you just right, breath stopping again at the pain. The action happens twice more before he yanks on your hair, forcing your head to crane back to give him better access.

A yelp sounds from you as your grip tightens on Nikolai's shirt, knuckles turning paler as the fabric stretches under your hold. You whine out a pathetic pleeease, tears turning to big globs while squirming once again.

He doesn't let up though, choosing instead to slide his mouth down your neck in search of another sensitive spot.

With his teeth hovering over your shoulder, threatening to bite down once again, Nikolai whispers, "Tell me you'll stay.” His voice is soft, the gentle tone he uses making your mind hazy.

You hesitate contemplatively, trying to weigh your options. All you have to do is promise you'll stay and he'll stop, right? That's not such a bad trade. Why did you even want to leave again? He protects you, always doing things in your best interest, right? Sure, he's hurting you now, but it's only because you hurt him first when you tried to leave. If you had just stayed in the first place, this wouldn't have happened.

Honestly, this predicament is entirely your fault, isn't it?

"P-please," you still hesitate, feet moving back and forth to try and maintain blood flow as he continues to sit on your thighs. "I just w-want," you gasp, tears still running off your cheeks. "I wanna go!"

Nikolai wastes no time in biting as harshly as he can, a yell escaping your throat as you push on his chest. He pulls back to stare down at you, eyes glaring nearly as harshly as the dig of his teeth a moment ago.

The glare drops into a look of adoration, a soft smile appearing on his face as well. "I must've misheard you, dove," he speaks as sweetly as he looks at you. "Why, I could've sworn you said you want to go."

All-encompassing is Nikolai's scent as he leans down to nuzzle against you, his nose brushing against the side of your face for a moment. "But that doesn't make sense, does it?" He whispers against your skin.

"Because," he presses a kiss to your left cheek, "why on earth," and then your right cheek, "would you want that?" He grins, his lips now only a few inches away from yours.

With a dramatic sigh he pulls back, sitting upright now while still on your thighs. "If my dove really wants to leave, then who am I to stop her? But be warned, any man you try to move on with will never be as good as I. You'll forever think of me - my lips, my teeth - as you fuck useless, unworthy men.

"And then," he beams maliciously, "I'll climb in through your window after and finally get you off, biting and marking you while the other man watches." Nikolai's hands dig into your side, fingers gripping your waist in a way that makes you yelp.

"You are mine. And if I have to watch you play with other losers before you accept that, then they have to watch me properly please you."

pathetic stalker dazai… SEX. NOW.

hiii anon i don't really write nsfw so the exact terminology is HEAVILY danced around hope thats fine 😭

cw: poorly written pathetic dazai going crazy over the thought of you

mdni PLEASE SLASH SRS im foaming at the mouth

He was so sick, so disgusting... The thought of you coming home early, seeing his current situation and calling him a pervert and a freak just made his cheeks burn brighter, teeth clenched as he continued to inhale your scent. Normally he'd be trailing you to work at this hour, but the idea of your empty apartment was too tantalizing.

Unlocking your apartment door was easy, especially since he's done it before, and resting on the side of the bed opposite where you slept sent his mind into haywire - picturing you sleeping next to him in your thin pajama shorts and loose tank top, imagining as it rode up while you tossed and turned...

Dazai's face was now buried in your pillow, trying not to drool on the cotton casing as high pitched, pathetic whimpers escaped his lips, cold hands bringing him the sensations he'd been craving since he saw you abandon your apartment earlier this morning. He pictured your hands as they made breakfast, lips as they chugged back your caffeine of choice, all of it... even the picture of you wrestling with bed head in the early hours had him moaning softly against your sheets.

Sweat dripping down his forehead, he rolled back over to his the other side of your bed, taking a moment to steady his breathing. With a glance to the mess he just made, he sighed. Cleaning up after was never fun.

MANN i just found your blog and ur dazai is just 😭😭😭🥲🥲🥲 i love it. hes so pathetic, i love pathetically obsessed men, my beloathed ❤️❤️. ur writing is mwah mwnah mwah kissing you on your forehead ,,,,

but i read that lil hand playing excerpt and i just... gahh cute!

lol this is probably a dumb little thing but i like cracking my friends knuckles, i would def crack his knuckles if i held his hand, just to see his reaction (and i think its satisfying)

anyway thank you for your service 🫡 gained a follower my good sir

GDJAEHD THANK YOU!!!! i will continue to be pathetic dazai's number one soldier 🫡 i can imagine reader adding slight pressure to his knuckles before suddenly CRACK! ... dazai just looks so bewildered for a moment O.o he'll just give you his other hand and ask if you'll do it again LMAO

aaaa thank you the food it was delicious!! :D i love how you write btw, have a nice day/night 💕

- 🦴 anon

glad you enjoyed!!!! i love thinking too much about dazai 🙂‍↕️