Small Insinuation Of Self Harm

aaaa thank you the food it was delicious!! :D i love how you write btw, have a nice day/night 💕

- 🦴 anon

glad you enjoyed!!!! i love thinking too much about dazai 🙂‍↕️

https://www.tumblr.com/stuffeddeer/734553783616536576/its-that-lurking-anon-again-please-forgive-me

Omg you answered that😭 I was genuinely worried you'd hate me for sending something so long 😭 I'm sorry about that but your response is great! I love discussing things with people, I hope you didn't mind it! 💖🥺

I definitely do see where you're coming from with him cheating but the reason I think he's less likely to is because as you said, the thing with Oda, he won't want to see someone hurt again, he won't want his love to be hurt again, he wouldn't want to go through that kind of pain again. It's quite obvious Dazai isn't stupid(I hope this doesn't sound like I'm saying you implied he is, I promise it's not like that!! I just realized how it might've sounded after re-reading it) and he's able to predict people around him's actions, he knows the impact certain things will have on the people around him, whether is be good or bad. He's able to know what they might do in certain situations, certain choices they'd make, emotions they'd feel etc and to me this means he'd know very well that whoever his love is, he'd know hurting them to the point where he betrayed them isn't gonna do anything but make them feel how he has in the past. I've researched into relationships where people have been cheated on in the past and many of them who have been so incredibly in love before the cheating, have felt quite literally like their entire life was ending because of this betrayal by their lover. Their pain is excruciating to the point where some may get PTSD symptoms and yes I know that might sound weird but a betrayal that big can be detrimental to someone's mental health. I don't think Dazai would want his lover to go through that kind of pain, Dazai knows the impact of a betrayal cuts deep and I actually think that if Dazai were to get a lover in the first place, that he'd get someone who obviously isn't average in personality, he's definitely go for an eccentric, probably someone like Oda, non judgemental, not much ego, someone who can surprise him even though he's not easily surprised, someone who can teach him new things. Someone he actually can trust and him giving someone his trust is a big feat for him and he'd probably never see himself letting go of this person nor hurting them. He would also probably keep his lover private.

More reasons I don't think Dazai would cheat is because in the past we've seen him break up with many women as Chuuya says "I'll send your address to all the women whose hearts you've broken." But the way I've seen this is in a few situations where him having a girlfriend or a relationship is brought up, he was very transparent when it came to breaking up with the women he was with. An example would be, the bomb that was used in Atsushi's entrance exam being sent to him by his ex girlfriend after she became obsessed with him when they broke up. Dazai talked about being very transparent with her and scolded her saying that it won't work out between them so she should stop with sending him bombs. I see him in relationships that he has no interest in continuing or pursuing, as being transparent and very honest instead of betraying their trust and moving onto someone else while being with them. It's implied a few times that he's had flings and he's the one who stopped it from getting too serious(I think that's another way he shields his heart).

Anyway so sorry if this is too long, I just wanted to clarify why I said I didn't think he'd cheat and believe me this isn't just me having wishful thinking, I enjoy analyzing characters a lot.

And thank you for the well wishes, I wish you well too, I'm doing better so thank you for that💖💖

i totally see the argument of him choosing to break up instead of stringing someone along and cheating on them! that's such an interesting way of viewing dazai, esp with the added reference of him tracking down the couple women he think would have left him a bomb (it was like his fourth call too does he have a type or smth..)

i agree in the sense that instead of cheating, he'd probably just apathetically break up w his date rather than continue to pretend he's interested... i feel like maybe he'd gauge the person he's with and if cheating would ruin them he'd know that and rather shoot them a quick text goodbye before sliding into someone else's bed. i still think he can be a bit sleazy from time to time, especially before joining the ada, though your viewpoint is interesting and appreciated!

andddd all of this delves into his more careless or ruthless nature, but he's probably had his fair share of kind and normal breakups!! i feel like i just spoke so negatively of him lol i love dazai promise <3

i just had a thought. imagine something like when you and normal dazai were best friends (maybe apart of the buraiha trio too, or squad in that case) but what i mean is close-close kinda best friends. but if thats too basic i think we can add mutual pining with no confession in it. and then take that scenario into the beast au, where you two are still close, but work in very different fields and still have that mutual pining, and can never be together no matter how close you two become - whether it be forbidden because of work fields or just.. the whole phase 5 ordeal. or something else! do you think he'd try to get away or get closer? please i need more thoughts on this scenario i love angsty things

+ can i be 🦴 anon? tysm! :)

My thoughts on smitten beast!Dazai | Bungo Stray Dogs | Dazai x reader

wehehehehe i loveee beast!zai gm 🦴anon!!!! i would like to apologize in advance bc my thoughts are jumbled and incoherent on my best days LMAO

okay here’s what i’m thinking. either you’re a part of his plan or you aren’t - either he has something he wants to change for you like he’s doing with oda, or you’re merely another piece of the puzzle. depending on which you fall under, how he’ll act will be different. being a part of his scheme, falling under the subject of someone whose life he wants to change, will lead to him alienating himself from you like how he did to oda - knowing that he has to isolate himself away from you so you can live a longer or better life. dazai understood the only way oda would live in the light and write his novel was if he pushed him to and killed himself, so he’d do the same for you, dying happily knowing it’s better for you.

but…. if you aren’t part of his plan, i don't think he'd mind still finding you and courting you :) had it merely been mutual pining in other lives, maybe he wants to see what it'd be like to actually date you! he already knows everything you like, so from the very second you two meet, he's showing up with your favorite flowers ("they just reminded me of you") and chocolates or whatever sweets you adore ("i bought too much and couldn't finish"). he'd take you on cute little dates he doesn't label dates until you get frustrated and ask him if he's just leading you on, wondering why he never holds your hand or heaven forbid kisses you! and dazai will just laugh and confess, telling you he wanted to take it slow or some other bogus excuse you don't have the time to pry into as he kisses you 🙂‍↕️

dazai will 100% enjoy every moment he can with you!!!! he knows it's rapidly approaching his end so he makes sure you're allll set up (he sets aside a disgusting amount of money in some share for you to take from at your leisure post mortem). he understands he's a busy guy, but always makes sure to shower you in love when you're around, knowing he won't be able to much longer :/

of course, he could also try pushing you away as he nears his end, but i still think he'd try and hold you close before that. say toward the end he starts more fights and distances himself. you're confused wondering why he has started to pull back, and he just tells you work is rough. i think dazai would try to subtly let you know what's coming, mentioning his line of work breeds resentment and leads to many a death, like how the previous boss died (....kind of) and the one before. he'd want you prepared, and preferably happy, but understands that he selfishly didn't let you to pass by his final phase without some sort of grieving. dazai would have regrets in that sense, but understand there's not much he can do about it now except try and prepare you for the inevitable.

Dazai didn't mind you playing with his hand. In fact, he kind of liked the attention and care you seemed to be showing him, even if it was just towards one appendage. Light tugging and pushing on fingers, delicately tracing his knuckles and the scars littering the back, and even occasionally lacing your fingers with his for a moment — Dazai was happy to let you do it all. To think hands that have previously participated in such horrid acts could be treated so gently made butterflies erupt in his tummy.

He let you do whatever (having trouble saying no to you) while he wasted time rereading his book. You'd pull his hand to your face sporadically through your time playing with it, so it never caused Dazai any alarm. Sometimes you would inspect it closely, sometimes you'd drag his calloused fingertips along your cheek just to see if the degree of toughness had changed, but his favorite was when you'd press a tiny kiss to his palm. Usually that meant playtime was over — soon you'd drop his hand onto his lap and scurry away. Even knowing it brought about the end of his favorite time with you, the tingly feeling of your lips on his skin lingering long after you'd leave made it worth it. All this to say, Dazai was used to you tugging his hand up towards his face, bringing it closer to your mouth. He had to work overtime to keep his heartbeat steady, certain of what was to come next, when...

"Ow!"

It was hard to catch Dazai off guard. You weren't even trying, you just... Well, you wanted to see what would happen.

"Did you just bite me?" He couldn't help the amused (his coworkers would say smitten) smile on his lips as he turned to look at you.

You turned to him with wide doe eyes, a deer caught in headlights as you seemed unaware you had even done something wrong. Timidly, you press a tiny, chaste kiss to the tip of his middle finger — the same finger you'd gently bitten the top of moments prior.

"Mmh... Sorry, Dazai." Your words were languid, gently squeezing his hand before dropping it out of your hold.

Dazai wanted to pout, to say 'you forgot my kiss' while pointing to his palm, but he was too focused on his middle finger — the tingling of where you kissed him and the warmth of your mouth he'd felt around his fingertip for a fleeting moment. As you shuffled beside him, preparing to stand up, his hand shot out to grip yours.

"Where do you think you're going?"

The smirk on his face told you he wasn't too upset by your impulsive action, breathing out a sigh of relief. "Um, away..?"

A grin spanned across his face as he leaned closer. "Not before my payback, you aren't."

Losing distance, his mouth opened slowly until his head stopped just over your shoulder. "I require penance, you know," he mumbled before biting down onto the soft skin.

Dazai is antsy. For those who've seen him regularly the past month, this isn't a new sight: him pulling at the edges of his bandages, shifting continuously in his seat, eyes flittering back and forth... It happens daily at this point.

Until you show up, when he jumps into your arms, drapes himself over your back, leans into your side, anything he can do to be as physically close to you as possible. His clinginess has started to affect your work, unable to do much as Dazai pulls you onto his lap during the day or sits on yours, head pushed into your shoulder. At least lunches are fine as he pulls you onto the Agency's couch and holds you from behind: you can still access your packed food (which Dazai always steals bites of).

Holding your hand isn't enough, either. Dazai needs to be on top of you or have you on top of him, or he's antsy — which leads us to now. He's shifting uncomfortably in the passenger seat of your car, the edges of his bandages unraveling as he picks at them. A small look of panic crosses his face as he finally notices, discretely trying to pull them more tightly in hopes of bringing them back to how they were before.

He glances over at you. Your eyes were focused on the road, one hand holding the steering wheel and the other resting on your lap. The hand was taunting Dazai, practically begging him to grab it... so he did. You glance at the intertwined hands briefly before smiling at him, focusing back on the road right after.

...

It wasn't helping. You're right there and he can't hold you? So close he can smell you but can't have you in his embrace?! This must be his own hell, fashioned by Satan himself to torture Dazai for all eternity (or for the next ten minutes before you reach your destination).

"You alright, Dazai?"

He huffs at your question; Of course not. The childish pout on his face makes you let out a breathy laugh. He turns to you with such adoration - what an adorable sound that he coaxed out of you... Ugh, it just makes him want to hold you more.

You squeeze his hand reassuringly, the feeling causing Dazai to relax momentarily... Until once again he's thinking about the warmth of your hand, and how much warmer it'd be to hold you.

"How much longer?" He whines, the same pout on his lips.

"GPS says seven minutes. Are you that excited for this case?" An amused smirk plays on your lips, the teasing tone making Dazai's heart flutter.

He shifts in his seat, the hand not holding yours fidgeting with the fabric of his vest. "Excited for it to be over," he replies, trying to keep his gaze out the window and not on you.

"Seven minutes, and then you can solve it."

Seven minutes. Seven long, excruciating minutes in hell before he can touch you again, hold you again. Seven minutes, 420 seconds, a few red lights and then a shoddy parking job. Seven minutes... seven...

You let out a yelp, eyes widening as you swerve slightly on the road. "Dazai!" You chastise, both hands moving to tightly grip the steering wheel.

His face is pressed up against your neck, hands grabbing you tightly as he leans over the car's center console to be closer. A stupid grin sits on his lips as he giggles, feeling heady from your warmth. Mmm, this is what he was missing...

"Dazai, I'm driving!" you say, as though the man would understand and move off of you. Instead, he lets out a low whine and hugs you tighter, entirely off of his seat and pressing up against you.

"I'm not stopping you." Your gaze shifts over towards him. "Eyes on the road." You huff, but do as he says. His eyes were closed, how could he see you looking at him?

"You can't do this, Dazai."

"It's like you said: it's only seven minutes," Dazai grinned smugly. Part of him wanted to ask why you didn't like him holding you so closely, but he knew you didn't mind. Should he be clinging to you while you're driving? Probably not, but then maybe you shouldn't be so warm and inviting.

You say nothing else, now focused entirely on the road with a tight grip on the steering wheel. Dazai says nothing either: after all, he got what he wanted.

sorry for asking but are u cool with nsfw stuffs?

idk! ive never written for it so probably not :( feel free to send smth and worst case i just delete the ask lol

got caught up on apothecary diaries manga and am sick in the head for jinshi so whatever im posting them on main later 🐺 sorry everyone

hiiiii :)

its been a minute but i have been writing quite a bit recently!!! im nearly done with an old rq really old. so sorry anon!!!! but ive also written two other stand alone fics!!!!! except they are both about apothecary diaries.

would you all want me to post them on my side account @stuffeddeer2? i know i've cultivated a bsd centric following so im not sure if anyones interested :) ill post them either way eventually but idk where to!

and i Will. be posting a rq. soon. hopefully come this weekend.

Dazai didn't mind you playing with his hand. In fact, he kind of liked the attention and care you seemed to be showing him, even if it was just towards one appendage. Light tugging and pushing on fingers, delicately tracing his knuckles and the scars littering the back, and even occasionally lacing your fingers with his for a moment — Dazai was happy to let you do it all. To think hands that have previously participated in such horrid acts could be treated so gently made butterflies erupt in his tummy.

He let you do whatever (having trouble saying no to you) while he wasted time rereading his book. You'd pull his hand to your face sporadically through your time playing with it, so it never caused Dazai any alarm. Sometimes you would inspect it closely, sometimes you'd drag his calloused fingertips along your cheek just to see if the degree of toughness had changed, but his favorite was when you'd press a tiny kiss to his palm. Usually that meant playtime was over — soon you'd drop his hand onto his lap and scurry away. Even knowing it brought about the end of his favorite time with you, the tingly feeling of your lips on his skin lingering long after you'd leave made it worth it. All this to say, Dazai was used to you tugging his hand up towards his face, bringing it closer to your mouth. He had to work overtime to keep his heartbeat steady, certain of what was to come next, when...

"Ow!"

It was hard to catch Dazai off guard. You weren't even trying, you just... Well, you wanted to see what would happen.

"Did you just bite me?" He couldn't help the amused (his coworkers would say smitten) smile on his lips as he turned to look at you.

You turned to him with wide doe eyes, a deer caught in headlights as you seemed unaware you had even done something wrong. Timidly, you press a tiny, chaste kiss to the tip of his middle finger — the same finger you'd gently bitten the top of moments prior.

"Mmh... Sorry, Dazai." Your words were languid, gently squeezing his hand before dropping it out of your hold.

Dazai wanted to pout, to say 'you forgot my kiss' while pointing to his palm, but he was too focused on his middle finger — the tingling of where you kissed him and the warmth of your mouth he'd felt around his fingertip for a fleeting moment. As you shuffled beside him, preparing to stand up, his hand shot out to grip yours.

"Where do you think you're going?"

The smirk on his face told you he wasn't too upset by your impulsive action, breathing out a sigh of relief. "Um, away..?"

A grin spanned across his face as he leaned closer. "Not before my payback, you aren't."

Losing distance, his mouth opened slowly until his head stopped just over your shoulder. "I require penance, you know," he mumbled before biting down onto the soft skin.

do u think dazai smokes… imagine if he does you’ll get to take away his cig for a second to give him a lil kiss then returns it back to him thats so cute….

smoking is bad very ew pls dont do it tho

i got this hc that dazai does Not smoke . like he has every other vice known to man but ew yucky smoke in his lungs :( i definitely think he'd be childish about it too like if someone's smoking near him he starts coughing horrifically. he's a bastard i hate him

but if he were to smoke!!!! yes this is very cute :3 he'd probably whine as it gets snatched from his mouth but once you put it back he'd still whine because now he wants kisses!!!! there is no winning w him!

no return

dazai osamu / reader + ??? / reader

notes: mild yandere themes, u drink alcohol, inspired by the manhwa 'a false confession' (massive rec hehe) drabble..? oneshot..? i don't know what to call this since it's not really fleshed out and not given that much thought so maybe its just a random blurb hahaha not proofread i just click post and never look back thats just how i am

the moment you step into the balcony, your legs almost gave out. your hand having to lean on the vine ornamented pillar as support. stillness draping over despite the festivity just behind the door.

just a few feet beyond you, stood your senior. even with your vision hazy and eyes half lidded, you think you can see his silhouette leaning over the railings, his back turned against you, coat billowing in the wind, tousling the hair of his that you've always wanted to tuck behind his ear.

he looks particularly different, today.

the man of your affections — whose hands that are always resting upon your shoulders, his touch lingering a far too much for someone who is only concerned about his coworker, muttering words of 'good job!' every time he looks over your computer to see the progress of the report he assigned.

he, who is always eager to bring you trinkets of all kinds after being assigned in a case, and if you had the ability similar to his, you would've caught on the fact that the trinkets are always given by him personally, rather than your unfortunate coworkers whose gifts are left in their desks.

yet frown would replace your previous smile once he pulls away with a pat; when you remember that everyone got the same gift as you did.

(oh, how you lamented every second that passes without him knowing how you felt.)

but that will change tonight — your intoxicated self decided to confess your long time admiration for your senior. 'and if he rejects your love, then you can just say that you were too drunk! it's easy!' tanizaki said so, as he handed you an alcoholic drink, and you shouldn't have trusted any words that comes out of the orange haired mans mouth.

even if the others knew how bad you felt about him, you prefer to believe that you could keep your feelings to yourself.

with a determination only a drunken one can have, you step further away from the loud music of the party and towards the man.

a heavy breath escapes your lips as you stand just a few feet behind him.

"sir," you first regard him with his title you've always used during work, and a part of you wonders if you'll be able to call him endearments you've always wanted to say after he accepts your confession.

you don't think you can look at him right now.

"i've been thinking about this a lot," you begin, hushed but nonetheless made for him to hear. "i, don't know if, i should really say this…" your eyes drift down to your feet, deliberating whether you should beat around the bush.

but you know you can't, this feelings of yours is too much; if you don't get to say it now, what will become of your sentiments? locked behind a glass heart that threatened to burst every time he's near?

"i really, really like you, sir." you finally say, your hands harshly gripping the sides of your clothes, scrunching them, wrinkles beginning to form on the flimsy fabric.

you refuse to meet his gaze.

silence ensues, the only sound heard; the loud rustling of the leaves against themselves.

"..."

ah, to think that you get rejected without even him saying anything.

"why?" he asks, then a hope ignites deep inside you.

"i just, really like it when you treat us kindly, you always go out your way to make sure i'm okay, your dedication to the agency is admirable, and i... just really like everything about you…"

"that's what any superior would do..." he replies coldly.

his words does not even travel first to your ears — it travels straight to your heart, so harshly that if it traveled to your ears first, you're certain you'd go deaf.

you stagger, the adrenaline the alcohol provided leaving your system.

then, he grabs your arm just in time, his bandaged hand surprisingly holding you delicately, as if he expects you to be gone once he pulls away.

"osamu. call me osamu, not sir." he says tenderly as he rests his hand on your shoulder, his arms coiling around you like a snake to a branch.

you smile gently as you bury your head in his chest. you can smell the faint scent of alcohol on his shirt, how strange, you've always thought he smell more like the sweets he'd always insist on eating. "osa—" the remaining syllables does not leave your tongue.

he rests his head on your shoulders, his curly coffee-like locks of hair tickling your neck.

osamu?

your eyes drift to his neck — are those bandages?

coffee-like?

dread fills your veins. dazai pulls back, your drunken haze along with it, finally able to look at him properly. his warm palm rests on your jaw. the dull brown eyes you’ve grown fearful of seems to reflect the stars, looking at you so, lovingly.

you don’t know what you’re supposed to be surprised of, the fact that a coworker whom you are scared of is looking at you softly, or the fact that he just accepted a confession that wasn’t meant to be his.

"should we keep our relationship a secret?" he asks with deceptive bashfulness.

--

"sir..?" you stammer as you try to look in ranpo's viridescent eyes for an answer to why he's holding your hand tightly.

"i've always thought that you…" his brows are knitted, refusing to meet your eyes, his own narrowed as he looks at the bracelet that adorns your wrist, an item begrudgingly accepted from dazai.

(he wonders if you would be mad if he forcibly ripped its beads out of you.)

he clicked his tongue at his own thoughts, shuffling to get a comfortable spot where he rested appropriately on his office chair.

"since when were you both close?"