I Am Not A Ghost.

I am not a ghost.

I don't have a job. I have always had a hard time making money. I will not show you my tits or do sexually charged things with you. I won't constantly stroke your ego. I can't connect you to anyone "important". I won't agree with everything you say or do. I won't laugh at stupidity with you. I don't think life is always easy nor do I feel that easy is always the best idea. No, I won't make sure to maintain a certain "appearance", I don't even wear make-up. While I do understand that money is a "need", waving your net worth at me will not impress me. I strongly believe in effort, learning, and making constant adjustments. I have often put a lot of energy into helping others but I have finally also accepted that I deserve acknowledgement and help as well.

I know. I understand. More than one human has explained that I am simply being too difficult and that's why I can't connect. I get it BUT, I also understand that I'm not invisible. Just because I am not one to conform to common behavior patterns does not mean that I deserve to be treated like I am even less noticeable than the homeless person you happily see as either a problem, or a way to feel better about yourself by donating to the charity case. I am very much alive. I too have feelings. I... am not a monster... or a ghost! I am simply different. I don't want to be medicated or changed so I can be more "normal". I just want to be me, and be accepted as human. Yes, I know... good luck with that. Humans can't even seem to get beyond skin color so why would I expect my list of differences to be accepted? meh... A girl can dream.

More Posts from Strugglingasahuman and Others

1 month ago
A photo of an agouti looking off into the distance. The animal has large pink ears and a pink snout. It is coated in short brownish hair which is paler at its neck and chest. It somewhat resembles a giant mouse.

Cutie… patootie... agouti? You might know the capybara, but what about its distant cousin the red-rumped agouti (Dasyprocta leporina)? This wide-ranging mammal can be found in forests throughout northern South America including Colombia, Brazil, and Venezuela. Though smaller than its more famous relative, this hefty rodent can weigh up to 13 lbs (5.9 kg). It dines on a diet of fruit, nuts, and seeds. Like a squirrel, the agouti will bury surplus food to save for a later date. But sometimes this critter forgets to come back for its stash, spreading seeds throughout its habitat as a result. 

Photo: Robin Gwen Agarwal, CC BY-NC 4.0, iNaturalist 


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1 month ago

DANGER PLANTS!

As everything poofs back into life I am reminded of the battle I had in "my" little piece of the planet. When people speak of poisonous plants... I often heard about giant hogweed and parsnip. What I encountered was a plant that didn't quite fit those descriptions but packed more of a punch than either ever has for me. That plant was hemlock. Now I know.... giant hogweed, parsnip, and most definitely hemlock.... AVOID AT ALL COSTS! If you find them in your yard or somewhere you need to clear... COVER EVERYTHING. Mask, goggles, long sleeves, full pants... gloves, the works. Those plants are seriously NO JOKE. I was lucky and only had a rash on my arm but I won't lie, it was not a nice one, and it stuck around much longer than expected. That was from what seemed like a very quick bump when putting it in the bag to go out. With more research I've learned what all three are capable of and honestly... I don't plan to take ANY chances should they pop up again. I'll be covered head to toe and I'll be burning whatever bits of the base I can't dig out. NOT FUN!


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3 weeks ago

Dating with purpose?

When you are young and pretty, there are things like "Seeking Arrangements" and more than a few other options online and off to get whatever it is you're after. But, what about when you're older, not so pretty, and no longer trying to pay for school? Are there rich folks out there, looking for old, chonky, and broke... but funny, curious, and not "dead" yet? Are there also dating? sites for that sort of connection? Seems to me everyone wants a pretty face or some sort of impressive resume but what about the folks still trying to find happy, without the good looks, or impressive "goals"? Are they stuck dealing with whatever they can find at the local bingo hall?

hahahaha Random curious thoughts.... heh.


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2 weeks ago

Miles!

Okay, here is where I will post a question. Does anyone use MapMyFitness? I don't do the big challenges they offer as I'm not exactly in ... the condition.. to participate effectively but, I do enjoy tracking the miles of my walks, hikes, and stuff like bicycle rides. I just think it would be neat to have someone there again to share with. It can be a fun little motivational boost as well. Meh... the question is here. Maybe someday it will prove useful. hahaha


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1 month ago

Ants!

I can look at pictures online of bugs, insects, creepy crawlies, and the like.. and be completely mesmerized by the beauty and capabilities. I will also say though that, when I do something in my home and find something crawling ... my first and only panic attack thought line is DIE DIE DIE! Ants are on the top of that list for me. They come in, they go everywhere, and it never feels like they are gone for good. I understand all of the ... they serve a purpose, it's more there territory than ours, blah blah blah... but when they enter my house and are spotted.... I simply can not help the desire to burn the house down and run. They MUST DIE. hahahahha I know I am not alone. LOL


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1 month ago

Real human love. I have seen a lot of folks struggle due to the possibilities in AI art. I understand the work that goes into it but, I also understand the damage it does in other areas of human life. Me personally, I will always aim to support non AI art. Not hatin, just tryin to keep the non computer options alive and well.

strugglingasahuman - Not Dead Yet

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art
1 month ago

That's neat. Hovering over the name makes it do the metallic rainbowy thing which reminds me of those metallic stickers that were so popular in my younger years. Does it do that on the phone app or is it just for the website? hahaha hmmm Now I'm wondering if they still sell stickers like that? pssh I'm sure they do. Google time! :-)


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1 month ago
Okay So, As I Pay More Attention I Realize That Humans Seem To Like Seeing Their Food Online. While I'm

Okay so, as I pay more attention I realize that humans seem to like seeing their food online. While I'm not entirely sure how many enjoy viewing the food of others I figured I would go ahead and play along so... here ya go. The current meal includes eggs, potato, tomato, carrot, celery, and a sausage, with a light dusting of a salt/pepper/garlic seasoning blend, cooked with a little bit of palm oil in a frying pan. Ooooh. Aaaaah. Yes, it was very much tasty. Yes, this is a common cooking style for me. And no, I will not be sad if I don't get paycheck level likes on my food photo. Okay, I'm done. Enjoy.


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2 weeks ago

Learning.

Hah.. so today was the trial and error section of learning how to create an instructional sort of video. There are so many things one does not think about until doing something like this. The first "fail" was finding out that my phone camera had reset itself to photo instead of video. The second "fail" was figuring out that half of what I was doing was actually out of the sideways (oops) frame. The third "fail" was realizing that once I completed the biggest part of the project, the item I needed to show the final "test" was nowhere close to my workstation. hahaha I have made adjustments and will try again soon... HOPEFULLY creating the video I wanted to create from the start and then, I will get it shared in the correct locations. The sharing of videos to certain spots was something I finally tested the rest of the way yesterday so i feel fairly confident that it will go where I want it to go. hahaha Life is fun sometimes. Enjoy.


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1 month ago

Confused.

Humans make no sense to me. They destroy everything, including each other and seem to think it's okay. It's like people believe life isn't supposed to be annoying so when it is, they find ways to get a "feel good" no matter who, or what, it hurts. It creates chaos that doesn't need to exist, which ends up being more fuel for people to behave poorly in search of that "feel good". The trail of damage left behind is disgusting and yet, it's like nobody actually understands that, or cares. It really does seem to be all about easy "feel good" even when that only adds to the problems. meh Maybe I'm just missing something but then again, I did label this "strugglingasahuman" so... clearly there is a LOT I "miss". hahaha


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  • planetahmane
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strugglingasahuman - Not Dead Yet
Not Dead Yet

A bit older, more "tired", definitely more worn, but still trying.

54 posts

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