Colors In Soviet Holmes: ¾

You are Connor Roy, and you are the only child of one of the most powerful men in the country. Your father eclipses everything in your life, and you are rarely denied anything. Anything that is, but his time. There are nannies for that after all. You are raised to believe that the business he is building before your very eyes is your birthright. You're a little fidgety, true - a little bit soft. Your mother will sometimes rest her forehead on yours and call you a dreamer. You think she means it as a good thing, so you aren't sure why she says it so sadly.

You are Connor Roy and when you're 10 years old, your mother decides that she's had enough of everything you've ever known. She takes you with her to find "something different, something real." She calls it the adventure of a lifetime, but the faraway look in her eyes when she grasps your shoulders like a lifeline makes your stomach turn. So what does your old man do to get you back? What does he do with all that power his friends are always reminding you of? Absolutely nothing. With every day you spend without him, the reality of who your father is seeps into your bones and you feel real fear for the first time in your life. The reality is that being soft will not be tolerated and that family is only what Logan Roy says it is. The reality is that you are weak, and your father would never fight for a weak boy.

You are Connor Roy and when you're 13 your mother is carted away to a place upstate. No one asks if you'd like to visit her, but your father scoops you up and tries to sit you on his knee the way he did when you were younger. You're much too big for that now though, awkwardly sliding off and sitting next to him instead. She's a psycho he says. She put you in danger he says. Part of you is furious. Part of you is seething at him for saying that, for abandoning you, but mostly you feel relief. For the first time in three years you have more than enough food to eat and are not constantly worried that the alimony check will be spent on booze and pills. Your father, for all his faults, is sturdy and secure. He's your old man and he came back and this time he'll be all the strength you need.

You are a twenty year-old Connor Roy and you are peering into the eyes of your replacement. They're dark, not like yours, but the tufts of hair peaking out from the blanket that swaddles him remind you of your own. You hold him in your arms and he peers up at you, a soulful gaze that sucks you in until you're completely lost. Spellbound, you pull him a little tighter and sink into the nearest chair. You should hate him, you know, but the idea of hating someone so small makes you sick. In those eyes you can see the same promise your father probably sees; This one doesn't have a crazy mother in the middle of nowhere, this one is a clean slate, this one can be strong when all you can be is weak. Holding that newborn in your arms you resolve not to fight as your birthright is snatched by a tiny thief - to instead cling to this new, better family your father is building and to build them up in return. After all, family is what Logan Roy says it is.

You are Connor Roy and you do what you can. You stay present, stick around when you could be off making something of yourself. You give yourself to them in little ways, in ways you wish Logan had given himself to you. You take your little brothers on fishing trips, you let your baby sister climb on top of your back and dig her heels into your kidneys as you crawl on the hardwood. But part of you will always want to be as far from your father and his overbearing presence as you can. The houses you have built are always rural, always quiet and lonely, everything that Logan Roy isn't. You don't want to think about why that is. When you aren't there you know he pits them against each other, you know that they're starting to claw the weakness out of each other. The love you offer them is met with derisive snorts and rolled eyes - they become more like your father than you could ever dream to be. You're left behind, abandoned again, deluded and desperate in thinking that someone - anyone - could love you the way you need.

(in my own succession timeline in my head) Shivs wedding happened at the beginning of the year. She explains how Caroline guilt tripped her into having it in England during the cold for her. I think its interesting that Caroline then (later that year in the summer) chose to have her own wedding in warm and sunny Italy herself. When Roman and shiv where talking about the wedding and about their mom having a prenup, they talk about how the relationship and engagement happened so fast and they need to make sure she gets a prenup incase she's "getting swept off her feet". I wonder if in some wierd mother-daughter-competitve way, caroline wanted to one up Shivs wedding a couple of months after it happened. Caroline and Rory(who wasn't the same man she took to Shivs wedding) relationship seemed slot like shiv and Tom's relationship with Rory being more into the wedding than Caroline and being in awe of her wealth and connection to the powerful, connected and wealthy Roys (kinda like tom). In my mind I think shivr felt this back hand of a wedding so close to hers in a more romantic and warm place after being made to have it in cold England and maybe she decided to wear white to the wedding to stick it to her mother a bit

I love how the succession season three finale features none of the characters paying respect to the fact that they’re at a royal wedding. Tom and Greg had matching suits that would make you think they were both the groom. Connor proposed to Willa in front of everyone. Greg called Roman a pervert in front of a Contessa. Roman and Logan spent half the wedding away making a business deal. Half of them skip the reception. Shiv actually wore a white dress to her own mother’s wedding.

Above all else keep Jeremy Strong in your thoughts and prayers tonight

All I picture now is Logan singing his own rendition of "if I were a rich man" from fiddler on the roof, but it's all the things he does as a rich man instead. I picture him dancing around his house and shaking his arms like Tevye.

excited for the show to become a musical with no explanation

YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN (1974) dir. Mel Brooks

Mazzy Star ~ Fade Into You

‘there wasn't enough naan so we shared the last piece’

a group of friends had a reunion after over a year since they were in medschool together. they dressed in znali, ate naan and kebab, and fed each other bites full of love. it reminds me of how I want to dress up the most, look my best and sexiest, for the most intimate dinners with those I’ve found most comfort with in life. I hope the work I create and am a part of always reminds me of that.

Retro 90's style wedding dress. Credit to Chụp hình, ăn kem.