Why Go To Therapy When You Have This Masterpiece?

Bruce is insecure about his position in his family.

The seed was planted from the beginning, when he first met Dick and was turned down as a father.

At that time, he himself didn't think it was a big deal. Dick is a traumatized kid who has yet to know him. But as the time passed, it became something Bruce would lie awake thinking about. Should he ask again? Would Dick be mad if he did?

And then Dick leaves.

That cements it in Bruce's heart. He isn't Dick's father, and his relationship with Dick is dependent on they being Batman and Robin.

Because he was not a good enough Batman, he lost Robin, and with Robin, Dick too is gone.

Next, Jason. Bruce has a new son, one that is legally his. This time I will do everything right, he swore. Then Jason is gone.

When Jason returns, he refuses to return to Bruce because he was such a failure as Batman.

Tim came to Bruce because of Batman. Tim wants Batman and never Bruce.

Even when Tim's parents are being awful. Even when Tim needs a parent, Bruce will never be a choice Tim considers. That much was clear.

Tim admired Batman but never wanted anything to do with Bruce.

Cassandra is his daughter. She even seems to like being his daughter. But with how low the bar for her father's position is, he can't help thinking about how she would want to leave him too when she knows better.

At least there is no way she can find a better Batman, even if she finds a better father.

Damian is his biological son. Damian is proud of that fact. He feels like he should be more secure in his position as Damian's father, but he just can't. Dick is a better father to Damian than he is. He can see it. Everyone can see it. Day after day, he feels like he's losing Damain's respect little by little, each time he can't understand him or be at ease with him like Dick. To make it worse, Damian's Batman is Dick before Bruce. Damian sees Batman as something great, and Bruce is Batman, but he is still not Damian's Batman.

He doesn't know what he would do if one day Damian looked at his version of Batman and found it lacking.

Batman needed to be perfect or he would lose his family.

(If he ever told his children about this, they would scream for hours about how false it was. For years, they have seen Bruce as their father. For years, they desperately wanted Bruce to be a father before Batman. But Bruce doesn't know.)

Teen Bruce pt 2: things I hear at school electric boogaloo

Bruce: *nodding along to a random guy talking about how "he would def suck Brandon's dick as long as he could ensure they would remain bros and not make it gay between them, bc he's not gay and Brandon's not gay so it would be more of a service to Brandon actually, just a favour really-"*

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Bruce: all I've got is one's in my pocket, I feel like a stripper

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Bruce: *thinks PSAT is a disease at first*

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Bruce: what're y'all being for halloween? I'm gonna be a nasty little whore.

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Bruce @ teen!Harv: really? after all the arson I watched you commit? we're still in the friend zone???

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Bruce: *watches selina and talia doing something stupid* polyam is a thing. a great, fantastic thing.

#A struggle

Tony: Kid, why do you have bruises on your neck??

Peter, too embarrassed to say that he fell down the stairs: ummm... hickeys??

Tony: the fu- KEENER GET YOUR SORRY ASS HERE RIGHT NOW!!!

Peter: wtf???

HC that Lois, Iris, and Dinah have girls’ night and invite Bruce so they can spend the entire time psychoanalyzing him.

They have filled notebooks.

i drew this and it looks adorable ngl

Now we know where Damian got it from

16-year-old Bruce Wayne trying to be sneaky

Alfred: [stops by Bruce’s door because he hears talking] “who are you talking to?

Bruce: “uh, no one!” [shuffling noises]

Alfred: [closes his eyes and counts to 5] “I’m coming in, be decent”

Bruce: [laying in bed partially under the covers, he is shirtless] “hey Alfred”

Alfred: [raises an eyebrow at the obviously large lump under the blanket next to Bruce] “who is that?”

Bruce: “who? There’s no one here, Alfred”

Alfred: “that lump under your blanket, master Bruce. Is this what we’ve come to? Blatant lying and sneaking people in?”

Bruce: “no?”

Lump moves

Bruce: “this bed is very bouncy”

Alfred: [strides over to rip the blanket off]

Bruce: “Alfred wait, please I can explain-“

Alfred: [rips off blanket revealing a black lab who is happy panting. It’s tail immediately starts thumping at the reveal]

Bruce: “he’s my friend! and and I am already planning on rejoining him after I find the right person and I gave him a bath, he has a name, and uh, look this collar? I bought for him today. He even has a leash to go with it-oh! Look [gets up and grabs bandanna from nightstand] “he even has an outfit!”

Alfred: [slow blinks] “I was expecting a person, a girl or a lad”

Bruce: [freezes] “nono, no person or uh boys? Definitely no boys- uh um…”

Alfred: [staring at the dog in shock] “master Bruce, I will be completely honest with you I did not expect this”

Bruce: “I feel like your expectations were actually too high”

Alfred: “where did you get this dog, Bruce”

Bruce: [looking down] “I might have stolen him…”

Alfred: “I’m not going to even ask, I sure you had your reasons… please, just don’t do this again”

Bruce: “… if I were you I wouldn’t go in my bathroom then”

Cat suddenly meows loudly behind bathroom door

Alfred: [leaves the room]

I’ll make fun of Male Power Fantasy Batman for the rest of my life.

But the Batman that, as Bruce Wayne, gave Scarecrow a job at Wayne Industries when he thought he reformed?

The Batman that spend an entire issue hunting Killer Croc when he killed some cops, only to find out that he only did it because he was protecting the homeless people he took care of, was like “Oh dang, if you ate them I guess I don’t have any evidence. Guess I’ll have to leave you alone Waylon”?

The one who sent the Riddler on the path to becoming a private detective because he needed help with a case and just knew Ed couldn’t resist?

The one who’s so proud to see Freeze doing better, the one who helps him every chance he gets?

The one who’ll happily team up with Poison Ivy as long as innocent people don’t get hurt?

The one who, at the end of the day, just wanted Harley to finally realize that the Joker didn’t actually love her?

I adore that Batman.

Jason needs glasses to read😫💕

I'm not funny at all and im ugly

i’m funnier in real life but also uglier