Im Doing It Again. I Can Feel It.
im doing it again. i can feel it.
i'm much too excited anytime i get a notification. and then hit with a disappointment so intense that it's crippling when i realize it's not you.
i'm starting to think that the void in my chest of wanting to be understood is never going to be actually properly filled in. just sort of painted over in an attempt to conceal the big gaping wound of a hole in the wall like how landlords do to shitty apartments.
i don't know why i choose to spend my time here. waiting for others who aren't waiting for me. hoping that in every stranger i meet, there is someone who will really get me and understand the things that go on inside my brain.
More Posts from Spectrespeaks and Others
why am i even bothering with sobriety and cleanness at this point. all i wanna do is be high and forget how fucking miserable im gonna be for the rest of my life. just for a few hours. but i cAnT because tHinGs WoNt EvEr gEt BeTtEr iF yOuRe uSiNg. who the fuck cares if it gets better at this point? it obviously fucking won't. i'm trapped in this fucking disgusting body forever. the least i can do for myself is make myself happy for a little while.
Not letting them pee because I like the way they squirm and cry while I fuck them with their bladder full. occasionally pushing down on it just to test their limits.
Need to have the kind of gay sex where we are wearing clothes and fighting each other and we don’t have sex
Dr Ignoreitandhopeitgoesaway does make some good points
keeping myself from cutting everyone off just because deep down I still have hope that some of them actually care and eventually will notice my absence.
wanting to feel good and everything around you being bad is exhausting
Quite frankly, I'd rather be unconscious
P L E A S E stop sending me memes and actually talk to me please please please
Staying clean is lame i want to relapse every single day.
thanks for actually answering my texts FP now i wanna kill myself even more !! 🙃
-
vposledniyraz liked this · 2 weeks ago -
spectrespeaks reblogged this · 2 weeks ago -
cigarettelovessmoker reblogged this · 2 weeks ago -
cigarettelovessmoker liked this · 2 weeks ago
-
spectrespeaks reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
