Nah Cuz I Don’t Like Loki/sylvie Either But Cmon… If Sylvie Was Male Presenting, The Dialogue From

jesper: you like me? you like my personality?

wylan: i was surprised too

nothing compares to the calendar on this site. flat fuck friday. the halloween post that always shows up mid july. you see four anime girls and immediately know what day of the week it is. on the ides of march we all wake up and clown on some guy who got stabbed two thousand years ago. last week we celebrated down with cis day. I can’t wait for ever given and nov 5th anniversary memes. anyways have a lovely neil banging out the tunes day

jesper: i've always been a little confused about this, why can't you kill wolves?

matthias: we believe wolves are gods

nina: not technically, in drüskelle culture, wolves are thought to be like god

matthias: do not tell me about my own culture, nina! in the mood i'm in, i'll take you out, i swear to wolf!

people upset bc they want to ship this: i never said u couldn’t but he literally murdered her mother

people shipping namor x shuri like he’s not literally a 500 year old god and she’s not below the legal drinking age (and shuri x riri IS RIGHT THERE)

nina: matthias kissed me!

inej and wylan: oh my god oh my god!

nina: it was unbelievable!

inej: let’s hear everything.

wylan: inej, get the wine and unplug the phone. nina, does this end well or do we need to get tissues?

nina: it ended VERY well.

inej: do NOT start without me!

wylan: okay, alright let’s hear about the kiss. was it a soft brush against your lips or was it a “i gotta have you now kind of thing”?

nina: well at first it was really intense, you know? and then we just sort of sunk into it.

wylan: so was he holding you? or were his hands on your back?

nina: no actually at first they started out on my waist and then they slid up and were in my hair.

inej: oh!

MEANWHILE:

matthias: then i kissed her.

jesper: tongue?

matthias: yeah.

kaz: cool.

i cannot believe i was worried that sharon and bucky would be a couple. this man really only has eyes for the wilsons and u know what? same.

wylan: uh, guys? what does a pregnancy test look like?

jesper: thin piece of plastic with a thing on the end of it

wylan: okay, so this is definitely a gun

i think we should advertise menstrual products to trans men the way we advertise deodorant to cis men. i think that would be really funny.

also it helps me walk or whatever

[ID: a digitally drawn two-panel comic. / Image 1: Text reads: “How I expected using a cane would feel:” Panel depicts a miserable person in tattered clothes, hunched over a cane and shaking as she walks. / Image 2: Text reads: “How it actually feels:” Panel depicts the same person, now standing tall and wearing flowing wizard robes and a long white beard. Her cane is at her side, glowing with magic, and she looks confident and powerful. /End ID]

no bc like i don’t ship sebastian and anthony bc i think they have a really cute friendship. but, imagine if they just... suddenly announced they were dating. do u know how fucking funny that would be? this app would crash, twitter would lose it, and tiktok would be ruled by them. like no, this will not happen bc they’re both straight, but oh my god if it did. we would never recover.