Mr Evil Man: Im Going To Kill You! Hahaha 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

After watching Cinderella (the original animated movie, which was my favorite as a child), it strikes me how it solves many common problems people have with this fairy tale. Like:

Why did they try to identify the mystery girl using her shoe size? Because the bullheaded king's only clue to her identity was the shoe the Grand Duke picked up off the steps.

Why didn't the prince recognize her by her face? Because his father wouldn't involve him in the process at all, and wasn't the one going around trying to find her.

Why did the prince want to marry a lady he only met that night? Because his father was going to force him to marry someone, and he genuinely liked this woman.

Why did Cinderella want to marry a man she only met that night? Because marriage was her best and most secure way to freedom. Fucked up, but you can't say it's unrealistic for the setting of a fairy tale. She also genuinely liked him.

If they're using the slipper to find her, wouldn't it be more sensible to search for the person with the other slipper? Yes. The King is purposefully nonsensical and the Duke is purposefully terrified enough of him to carry out his orders to the letter. Furthermore, they end up doing that in the end anyway, because the Duke's glass slipper is shattered, and Cinderella brings out the one she has to prove her identity.

Why didn't the stepmother and stepsisters recognize Cinderella at the ball? Because they were dancing too far away, and then left the party to dance in private, which was possible because the King wanted very badly for his son to hit it off with someone and tried to arrange the best conditions for that to happen.

Why didn't Cinderella save herself? Because in real life, abuse victims should not have to shoulder that responsibility, and usually can't. In real life, you need and deserve an external support system. Asking for help, in this kind of situation, is very important. She is saved by others because she is loved. Because she is not alone. Because she has friends who love her, and want her to be happy and safe and free. Because in real life, people who want to help someone who is suffering are like the mice. We can't pull out miracle solutions, but we can provide companionship and if we're in the right place at the right time, we can help the person find a better life.

Why didn't the fairy godmother save Cinderella from her abusive household, or try to help her sooner? Because she's magic, and magic can't solve your problems. Quote: "Like all dreams, well, I'm afraid it can't last forever." This (and Cinderella's dream of going to the ball) is a metaphor for pleasurable things in bad circumstances. An ice cream won't get rid of your depression, but it will provide you with momentary happiness to bolster you, as well as the reminder that happiness in general is still possible for you. Cinderella doesn't want to go to the ball so she can get away from her stepmother and stepsisters, or so she can meet someone to marry and leave with. She wants to go to the ball to remind herself that she can still have things she wants. That her desires matter. This is important because the movie does a very good job of illustrating Lady Tremaine's subtle abuse tactics, all of which invisibly press the message that Cinderella doesn't matter. While going to the ball and fulfilling her dreams may not be a victory in the material sense, it is still a victory against Lady Tremaine's efforts.

Why is Cinderella's choice to be kind and obedient framed as a good thing, when you are not obligated to be kind to your abuser? This one walks a very fine line, but I think the movie still makes it make sense. Lady Tremaine never acknowledges her cruelty. She always frames her punishments of Cinderella as Cinderella's fault. Cinderella is interrupting, Cinderella is shirking her duties, Cinderella is playing vicious practical jokes. Cinderella is still a member of the family, of course she can go to the ball, provided she meet these impossible conditions. Lady Tremaine's tactics are designed to make Cinderella feel like she must always be in the wrong and her stepmother must always be in the right. If Cinderella calls her stepmother out on her cruelty, or attempts to fight back, Lady Tremaine can frame that as Cinderella being ungrateful, cruel, broken, evil, etc. If Cinderella responds to her stepmother's cruelty defiantly (in the way she's justified to), she's not taking control out of Lady Tremaine's hands. Disobedience can be spun back into her stepmother's control. She wants Cinderella to be angry and sad and show how much she's hurting. So since Cinderella is adapting to her situation, she chooses to be kind. Not only because she naturally wants to be and it's part of her personality, but because it is a form of defiance in its own way, and it allows her to keep a reminder of her agency and value. Her choice to be kind is her chance to keep her own narrative alive: she is not obeying because her stepmother wants her to and she has to do what her stepmother does, but because she wants to. It's a small distinction, but one that makes all the difference in terms of keeping her hope and identity. (Fuck, I wrote a whole paragraph about how this doesn't mean you can't be angry at people who hurt you or that you need to be kind to deserve help, and then deleted it by accident. Uh. Try again.) Expressing anger and pain is an important part of regaining autonomy and healing. Although it is commendable to be kind while you are suffering, it is NOT required for you to get help or be worthy of help. If Cinderella's recovery was explored beyond "happily ever after" she would need to let herself be angry and sad to heal. Cinderella is not only kind because it comes naturally to her, but because it's her defense against the abuse she's suffering. Everyone's story and experiences are different, and one does not invalidate the other.

Bonus round for answers that aren't part of the movie:

Why didn't Cinderella run away? Where would she go? Genuinely, in hundreds-of-years-ago France, where would she go if she snuck out of the window with a change of clothes? With her step-family, she's miserable and abused, but she's fed, clothed, and in no danger of dying or being taken advantage of by anyone other than her stepmother and stepsisters. Even if she escapes and manages to find financial security, her stepmother might be able to find her and get her back.

Why didn't Cinderella burn the house down with them inside it/slit their throats in the night/poison their food/etc.? Because that's a revenge fantasy, and this story is a fantasy about being saved. There's nothing wrong with making Cinderella into a revenge fantasy. That's perfectly fine, as long as you acknowledge that the other type of fantasy is also a valid interpretation. (I mean, the original fairy tale features the stepsisters getting their feet mutilated and all three of them getting their eyes pecked out, so go for it.)

Why isn't Cinderella more proactive in general? Because she's a child who has been abused for the back half of her life, who has had to be focused on survival because. you know. she's an abused kid.

How did she dance in glass slippers? Gotta agree with you there man, that's weird.

Grudge

omg gaga you shouldn't have

I don't think we talk enough about the Western Union letter situation at the end of part II. I mean, this strange blacksmith shows up in 1885, hands over a letter, and lays out extremely detailed instructions for them to deliver it on this specific day seventy years in the future to a teenage boy standing in the middle of an empty road. He gives them a description of Marty and makes a whole big deal of them keeping the letter safe and following through with the task when the time comes.

For SEVENTY YEARS, the workers at Western Union have this letter in their possession—likely locked away somewhere. It becomes something of legend in that building. I can see new employees, in the midst of all their training, being taken to wherever The Letter is being housed so that they can be told about it.

The guy who delivers it to Marty mentions they had all placed bets on whether or not anyone would even be there to give the letter to. Could you imagine having a mysterious letter sitting around your office for seventy years and then the day finally comes where you can find out if that guy from way back when was crazy or not.

How was it that only one guy ended up making the trip with the letter?? How'd he get chosen? Were all the workers fighting to be the one picked?? I'm surprised they didn't all pile into a few cars and take a field trip out in the storm to see what would happen.

And then how did that guy just Go Back after??

Dozens of eyes eagerly set on him as he walked through the door. "Well??! Was he there?"

"Yeah, he was there."

"And?? What was the letter all about?"

"I don't know. Whole thing was weird. The kid was just standing there, soaked through from the rain. He seemed nervous. Gave him the letter and he freaked out, yelled something about the Old West, and took off running."

And that's just. It. That's all the closure they get.

I'd lose my mind.

Hear me out, Sophie Sheridan from "mamma Mia" is a halfblood daughter of Poseidon

There's so much that's insane about the scene in First Class where Charles is waiting for Erik, knowing he'd stolen the CIA files and was planning to run away. But upon rewatch what's getting me is realizing that in so many ways... in it, Charles is doing the same thing he did with Raven. As a child.

He catches her stealing, but realizes she's like him. And essentially, the next thing he does is provide. He tells her she can take the food, that she never has to steal again, because he'll give her what she needs. And in return she stays, in return Charles isn't alone in being different.

With Erik, it's even more intense, but it's the same. Charles believes that if he can provide, then people will stay. After saving Erik from drowning, Charles deep down thinks he's already owed staying. He tells Erik that he can help, and scoffs at Erik when he rebukes it. "Don't kid yourself. You needed my help last night. It's not just me you're walking away from," is a pretty crazy thing to say to a guy you literally just met, and with such bitterness. Then he empasizes how he could force Erik to stay, but won't... because "Shaw's got friends, you could do with some." It's once again a play on what advantage staying could give Erik.

Which is why Charles holding Shaw still, suffering through all that horrible pain, makes me want to chew glass. Charles had more than one option, if he didn't want to let things unfold the way they did. I always did wonder-- couldn't he have controlled Shaw so that he knocked Erik out, and then put him to sleep? Control Shaw's powers through Shaw? Put Shaw to sleep, period, and then never suffer what came after? But no, Charles literally chooses to serve Shaw to Erik on a platter, all while Erik's counting down. His revenge, the thing he wanted the most, frozen in place and aware as he died slowly.

But Erik doesn't stop at Shaw, doesn't change his way of thinking, doesn't choose Charles' path. All that Charles gave wasn't enough-- not for him, and not for Raven, who ultimately leaves him too.

idgaf if my parents are disappointed in me I'm not impressed by them either

I cannot stop laughing at the how insane Captain looks with DTC.

Their constantly at each others throats too,

(Cap’s resting his head on his palm, the leagues talking about taxes or something — Blly asked DTC what’s their favorite animals are and Zeus said a dinosaur)

Mercury: Zeus, I believe the boy means ‘living’ animals

Zeus: 😐

Hercules: I don’t mind lions, though I had to strangle one once.

Billy: You strangled a lion?

Hercules: It was a debt of my twelve labors.

Billy: …

Billy: You’re broke? Hercules: …

Hercules: 👺

Achilles: Is that twelve more labors I see?

Solomon: I’d choose ant. Zeus: Ant?

Solomon: Yes.

Zeus: No.

Solomon: Pardon?

Zeus: No. I will not be ridiculed for my choice when you chose an Ant. An ant, Solomon. Why? It’s barely on Earth.

Solomon: It’s respectable; It’s one of the most hard working things on earth, yet it’s the size of a crump.

Zeus: It would get organ failure over a crumb.

*dramatic gasps like their on a reality tv show*

Billy (looking scandalized while Batman drones on about tax breaks): 😧

Okay, but hear me out -- what if his parents weren't usually red and blue?

Bro thinks she could just thug it out