All Other Comic Lines Can Leave This Is My New Favorite One

What if Scotty is not actually Scottish, though? 

Like, what if his name just happens to be Montgomery Scott, so all of his friends started calling him “Scotty,” and then every time he was introduced to a new person, they would be like “Oh, are you Scottish? My uncle was Scottish!”

And finally, he just gets sick of explaining the situation, so he starts replying with “aye, laddie!” But then it turns out that the person he said that to was Captain Kirk, and he doesn’t want to admit that he lied to his new commanding officer, so he has to keep speaking in a ridiculously over-the-top brogue and commenting constantly on how much he loves drinking Scotch, and by the time that he realises that Kirk would have found humour in the situation, he’s in too deep and can’t stop pretending, and it gradually just becomes his normal speech pattern.

Then, years later, the Enterprise is being inspected by a Starfleet engineer who’s actually Scottish, and Scotty takes him on a walking tour of his warp engines and is all like “Auch! Here be me wee bairns!” and the other engineer is just like “what the fuck is wrong with you?”

I take the fact that James Doohan is Canadian as evidence of this theory.

i want to see some crazy old trek shit on strange new worlds like i want an episode where the crew is forced by an alien entity to perfectly reenact the events of some nineteenth century novel in full period dress or be vaporized or something. it’s not star trek until they start larping

Happy threshold day everybody!!! Happy 25th birthday lizard babies!!! It is 25 right? Times flies

Being a DS9 fan is this constant search for little pieces of production knowledge that depress the fuck out of us.

“Did you know that Andy and Siddig ship Garak and Bashir???”

I know, it’s depressing because it’s not in the show.

“Did you know that Jadzia and Worf were originally intended to stay married till the end and have kids???”

I know. It’s depressing because it’s not in the show.

“Did you know they were going to make Garak a regular at one point?”

I know. It’s depressing because it’s not in the show.

“Did you know there was a less transphobic version of ‘Lace and Profit’ that was written and directed by Armin Shimmerman because he thought that Trans issues were important and wanted to take the idea of Quark transitioning seriously and not play it for laughs?”

I know. It’s depressing because it’s not in the show.

“Did you know there was a take where Quark and Odo kissed?”

I KNOW. AND ITS DEPRESSING BECAUSE ITS NOT IN THE SHOW!!!!

It’s just like, every day I see another post from an excited fan who finds out that something could have been different that would have made the show mind blowing.

And I think the fact that it’s still so damn good and so damn beloved really speaks to its quality, knowing full well the insurmountable amount of missed opportunities the show had.

DS9 my infinitely flawed and perfect gem. You make me feral.

bro wtf that line one hit KO’d me

Tumblr needs to get into Greatest American Hero. It’s got everything:

• two guys who become best friends

• one of them is a school teacher for troubled high school kids and he’s really passionate about helping them

• the other has an endless supply of ridiculously random sayings

• magic suit which they immediately lose the instructions to

• cheesy 80s special effects

• amazing theme song

Please I’m begging you guys, watch the show and then post your amazing and hilarious things so I can like and reblog them

THIS IS WHAT IM FCKING TALKING ABOUT

Reblog if you think public libraries are important and should be maintained.

remember that time that spock said “this is about sex” but he couldn’t say sex so instead he said “biology” and kirk clearly knew what he meant but was awkwardly like “what kind of biology” and spock got this look on his face like ‘oh lordy i’m not dealing with this today’ and said “vulcan biology” and kirk can’t say the word sex either so he goes “u mean the biology of vulcans” and then they stood there in silence for ten seconds like a pair of fucking idiots

I've said all this before but I still love this pop culture liminal space star trek occupies where like.. It's iconic. It's massively influential. It's genre defining. It holds historical significance. Everybody knows about star trek. But it also takes a certain type of nerdass to actually actively participate in Liking Star Trek