CRUNCH IS JUST LIKE

Bitch 9/11 was an inside job

And THAT was an inside thought

right now, somewhere in the world, there is a beautiful person scrolling tumblr.

tragically though, this beautiful person has a headache. their head hurts.

this is very unfair to them. they are very pretty, but for no reason their head is hurting.

if you know of anybody scrolling tumblr right now, who might have a bit of a headache, please ask them to take an ibuprofen, drink some water, do whatever might make them feel better.

it is tragic that such a beautiful person has a headache. the world is a vampire. I can only hope that this message may reach them

boyfriend asked what i was doing, told him i was editing a picture, boyfriend asked "is it something like house stretched out with the words 'menstrual blood' on it or some shit?", boyfriend was wrong, boyfriend was also onto something this goes hard

How inspiring!

do you want to play substance abuse with me after work

gas pumps are sexual in the way that gasoline smells so good and the nozzles are inherently phallic yet society says you cant do anything about that

Someone compared moldo to Jesus (hecame back to life) when trying to find out if his trial would count as murder or attempted murder

(They eventually determined it would be murder)

Things that happened in chemistry today:

1. Teacher said this weekend was better than any weekend he'd ever had

Why? He took his baby to this gymnastics thingy (valid)

This was rated better than:

1. When he beat an American record in pole vaulting

2. When he played in Germany for American pole vaulting

3. His wedding

4. When he took said baby home for the first time

2. A mole went 'missing' for st.patricks day

3. Said mole is apparently named Moledo (Like waldo)

4. Teacher apparently lets Moledo go out at night to catch worms n shit

5. Moledo is dead. He was murdered.

Teacher said his goodbyes to Moledo

We couldn't hear him cause he was in the courtyard and we were in the halls

6. We were sent to investigate Moledos death

7. We were the only class to sprint (If we collected the evidence cards in under 7 min we got extra credit)

RIP Moledo

He will be missed 😔

the voice of the devil

kasane teto I love you more than anything