I Am Not A Fly On Your Wall I Am An Angel With Wings I Watch You Sleeping In Your Bed Together Then Cover

Light the candle Scratch, sizzle Glow, glow

Flicker, flicker The shadow On the wall Dances

Melting, dripping Like an icicle Of fire

Ouch! Wax hits My hand both Scorching And warm

A small light Dims, dims, Flares!

Blow it out now Abrupt, smoke Rising up, up Fades

A scent lingers A wick wilts Hardens

I can't stand the smell Of Clorox disinfectant wipes They remind me of all The times I used them To scrub your blood Out of the sheets on my bed And how many nights I Fell asleep to their scent While worrying about you

I can't stand the smell Because I used those wipes To disinfect the stuffed cat I cuddle with now for comfort The stuffed cat that smelled For days of your final weeks The stuffed cat I adore That doesn't smell like your Death or Clorox anymore

Your head in your hands My face below yours I look up to your watering eyes A pain I can feel in the Tensing of your thighs I whisper to you "It's alright, it's alright." Your hopes falling as They leak from your eyes Dreams that dissolve as Quickly as the splattering Of droplets on clothing Evaporation so ever present As your expectations of us Or simply and only of me

This dreary morning January rain Falling onto icy snow Makes my eyes feel Heavy and tired

Roads caked with slush Cars splash through Brownish gray waves And I fall Down into the sludge

I sink like this month This month of melancholy I am crumbling Into these dirty waters Let me sleep in them

Let me sleep until This downpour lets up Until then I am fatigued These rains Beat me into submission

I would like to be no one A nameless, faceless, Shapeless form To walk through life Unknown Lost in the norm

Everything I do will blend Into the scenery, The earth, unheard And I, no one, am but a wisp, My life Never occurred

When I have gone in whisper Give me an Unmarked stone Or better yet, nothing No one was here I, thankfully, was alone

Kingdoms that we built Inside our neighboring, Rolling, hillside towns Still stand strong and Towering, but only in my Enchanted daydreams, the Night fell fast in yours

River, you ran through me I, the earth, the soil Quiet and soft

So were you, you brought Your herons and their Nests, you brought your Guiding bends, The frogs that peeped Like a lullaby into dark sky

I made room for you In places I had been dry And steep, I let you in, You helped me heal, you made Waterfalls, or rather,

We made the waterfalls, And you made it safe for water To splash down, unharmed

River, when you touch sand You will meet the sea You will go where I cannot But you brought life to me,

Where there were rough cracks There are now reeds and moss And dragonflies

Leave me like a brook, Clearly, slowly, on rocks Glittering under the sun, I, the earth, am changed, Come twilight I will hear you River, flowing into the ocean

But there's a spring now, Fresh water will come And you have helped me trust it

If you could see the sky Turn from black to blue To pink to orange each Early morning as I do

Then you might also Believe there is a magic In the air or on the leaves In a web a spider weaves

I'll lend my eyes to you So you might glimpse Divinity on the horizon And never need any proof

I am always drawn to water It is not my sign But I am in love with Cancer Her fluid emotions And I feel her in the Unfurling of waves

I swim in her like A brush mixing paint Like cream poured in coffee Or ink dripped on a page I am flowing Completely immersed in her

She takes me to an island Under her planet moon Soaking in the night Fierce as Diana She will rise up and Snatch me down into the sea

If I fall asleep now Will we pick up where we left Off in last night's dream? Lips finally locked In a desperate homecoming A desire, a longing Come to labored fruition

Maybe when I sleep I'll return to that Mountain where we folded Effortlessly into each other Where we dropped pretenses And indulged in a fantasy That left me on waking

If we can't exist In this humbling reality Then let me live in My dreaming with the Alternate us, the version Of ourselves that overcame All our worldly obstacles

If I fall asleep now Will you meet me there? Come out of your dream into Mine, let us talk, let us Speak our unspoken uncertainties Of our comforts and the truths We've held on our tongues

Meet me on the water Where we drifted on our backs Where an alternate us floated Contently in the forest lake Where a ripple effect kept us Closer together, meet me Where our dreams still collide