Let's Not Tarnish The Sky By Throwing Money At Space Races While Children Who Wish Upon Stars Are Starving

My Instagram account only exists Because I don't think you have my phone number Or if you did, you wouldn't use it Because that would mean you would reach out Which would mean you think of me Which I know you do, here and there Not enough to do more than like post I only share for you If I delete my Instagram account I would essentially delete you That is the problem with social media It paints a picture of you as my friend, which you aren't But I say happy birthday to you (I think you have forgotten mine) You say Merry Christmas to me once in a blue moon So my account stays up, I check it That way we don't become strangers completely

I felt creation in my mind Maybe as a mother giving birth Horrible, painful, terrifying But oh, what it was worth

I felt creation in my mind As a seedling start to sprout Small at first then suddenly It all came shooting out

I felt creation in my mind When I was cold and numb But it felt wrong and ugly And my voice felt small and dumb

There was creation in my mind When I first made myself And broke away from cogs and wheels To be other, something else

Creation knocked upon my mind And it begged me to be heard When I shoved it away It helped me find the words

I felt creation in my heart When I first looked upon those eyes It was never in my head When I needed to be wise

"Please stay" He begged and started to cry I gathered my things "Please just try"

I couldn't be his Not anyone's I've tried this before More than once

"I love you" He told me at the door I said nothing back What would hurt more?

I drove away And missed all his calls I wished I'd felt something Anything at all

"You'll never see me again" He threatened But his words were a gift Not a weapon

He gathers pennies to spend at the store, Lowering his voice, he looks down at the floor And says, “If I tell you, you won’t love me anymore.”

It’s days like these that we don’t speak As much As we used to, Instead in a language of knees weak And such As lovers do.

He counts the change but hates the word. “So many pennies,” he remarks, “it’s absurd.” He speaks so that his thoughts go unheard.

At the end of the day he has my heart Still, Always, to keep. And I would carry him if he fell apart Until We went to sleep.

We’ve stayed like this for the better part of a year And he worries as the end of December draws near That he might blow away and we won’t be here.

I am always asking questions I am a hypothetical idea I am a torrent of branching thoughts Meanings are occasionally sought

I am a half circle above a dot I am a rumination I am the one planting a seed No rain or sunshine guaranteed

I am the roots that are growing Down into the depths of the earth Reaching and probing so much deeper But I am also axiom's keeper

My dear, are you here? I reach out to you again From the delicate Attachment of my thoughts And you are sensory An actively forming memory

Do we live just once? I can't take the chance Believing we'll live twice Though that hope is nice We can never touch tomorrow And I won't survive on vices

Sitting on the curb The cement was warm And cracked Like the lines In our palms

Do you ever smell a flower And know that it's my favorite?

I put my hands In my sweatshirt pockets Like you might hold them

Have you ever looked toward the horizon And seen me looking back?

I could have laid down In the middle of the street And melted away Into oblivion With a smile on my lips

I just want my cat to lie on my chest Smother my fears with his weight Trap me under his sleeping sprawl You can never move the sleeping cat

I want his body to cover my face I want to forget the world exists Cat fur and light snoring is all there is And purring, which can cure anything

This goodbye is so long A blessing and a curse You said, though It feels like neither

It might end too soon A downpour that comes Suddenly, leaving Abruptly, sun shining

For now it is a drizzle That comes and goes Throughout the day, I am overcast, I am gray

We aren't so different You and I

Birds nestled under Ocean sky

Though

You are an osprey Taking flight from sand

And I’m a kiwi Watching you from land