Writing Characters Who Don’t Know How To Relationship

Writing Characters Who Don’t Know How to Relationship

Hey everyone, Abby here with another writing post! Today we’re talking about those classic characters, the ones who have crushes and no idea how to act on them.

Everyone knows that one person who can’t relationship. They can’t romance and at the moment it seems hopeless, but it’s also kind of entertaining to see how things work out for them. Today I’m giving advice on how to write that character, things to do and not to do, as well as some ideas to get the inspiration flowing.

So, your character doesn’t know anything about relationships. How do we know? These things usually start off with two things: a crush and a character who has no idea what to do with it. Do they act on it? Do they not? Do they stay friends? Do they just keep staring until their crush gets the message and asks them out? (That was weirdly specific but we’re rolling with it.) Who knows? Not them.

We’re also going to remember that anyone can have no idea how to relationship. It’s not always the quiet kid in the back with the high grades and big glasses, please remember this. It can be the star of the basketball team or the girl who’s friends with everyone. It can be anyone.

Also, there’s a difference between being “good in bed” and knowing how to maintain a proper relationship. There is a huge difference. Characters like this who get into serious relationships can end up being abusive or (more likely) only in it for the sex. If the other person wants a legitimate relationship, things aren’t going to work out.

If you’re character has no idea what they’re doing, they probably fall into one of two categories. They’ve either never been in a relationship or they’ve been in multiple that didn’t make it very far. So, you could probably consider them naive when it comes to relationships. So when they get into a real, lasting one, they’re going to be in love with the idea of being involved with someone. This can often be a misunderstanding or misinterpretation; they might project that love of being in a relationship onto the person they’re with, which could lead to some major issues.

Another problem is the media. It only portrays the extremes. You never see anything in the media about people in regular relationships, they’re either madly in love or falling apart. There’s no in between, and because your character has no experience to tell them otherwise they could fall into the trap of believing that’s the way real life goes. (Hint: it’s not.) This could end up creating a lot of unnecessary drama when things are going fine, because there’s nothing you would see in the news about that and your character expects action.

I just realized I’ve made this more of a list of the negatives of writing these characters. Why not some positives?

This is a relationship, and it’s important to them. If your character cares, they’re going to do everything they can to keep this relationship in a healthy state. This could include things like random little surprises, trips to random places for some time away, things like that. These things are all considered endearing and will definitely earn them some Romance Points™.

If this character hasn’t been involved with anyone in a while (or ever) and they’re happy in their relationship, you bet they’re going to talk about it. This might include proclamations about how happy they are, how great their partner is, etc.

If your story is set in today’s world, the Internet is a thing. They’ll probably be turning to all sorts of articles to help them out, and the fact that they’re doing this is definitely a good thing. Even if they do something wrong, they cared enough to try.

So, there are some tips to follow. Just to get the ball rolling (because this topic isn’t a stranger to anyone, I’m sure) I’m going to throw in a few examples/ideas for your clueless characters.

Being afraid to talk to their crush.

Thinking about simple exchanges (saying hello in the hallways) for ten million years.

Finally working up the nerve to ask their crush out.

The intense joy that comes after they say yes.

Or the bout of sadness that comes from rejection.

Brainstorming little things to do, like making breakfast in bed or arriving to their house with a bouquet of flowers.

Intense confusion about first kisses, when they should happen, how they should go.

Long phone calls or texting late at night, being exhausted in the morning but it’s okay because at least they got to talk.

Things like this. I would probably die of a cute overload if book characters did anything like that; maybe I’m reading the wrong genre, but I don’t think I see enough of it.

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got for today. Like a lot of the topics I write about, there are plenty more pointers to give, but I think this would be enough to get you going. If there’s anything you’d like to see me write about in my next post, please don’t hesitate to leave a message in my ask. Until next time, stay lovely <333

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reblog writing resource not writing

100 this or that

1. Coffee or tea? 2. Black and white or color? 3. Drawings or paintings? 4. Dresses or skirts? 5. Books or movies? 6. Pepsi or Coke? 7. Chinese or Italian? 8. Early bird or night owl? 9. Chocolate or vanilla? 10. Introvert or extrovert? 11. Hugs or kisses? 12. Hunting or fishing? 13. Winter or summer? 14. Spring or fall? 15. Rural or urban? 16. PC or Mac? 17. Tan or pale? 18. Cake or pie? 19. Ice cream or yogurt? 20. Ketchup or mustard? 21. Sweet pickles or dill pickles? 22. Comedy or mystery? 23. Boots or sandals? 24. Silver or gold? 25. Pop or Rock? 26. Dancing or singing? 27. Checkers or chess? 28. Board games or video games? 29. Wine or beer? 30. Freckles or dimples? 31. Honey mustard or BBQ sauce? 32. Body weight exercises or lifting weights? 33. Baseball or basketball? 34. Crossword puzzles or sudokus? 35. Facial hair or clean shaven? 36. Crushed ice or cubed ice? 37. Skiing or snowboarding? 38. Smile or game face? 39. Bracelet or necklace? 40. Fruit or vegetables? 41. Sausage or bacon? 42. Scrambled or fried? 43. Dark chocolate or white chocolate? 44. Tattoos or piercings? 45. Antique or brand new? 46. Dress up or dress down? 47. Cowboys or aliens? 48. Cats or dogs? 49. Pancakes or waffles? 50. Bond or Bourne? 51. Sci-Fi or fantasy? 52. Numbers or letters? 53. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings? 54. Fair or theme park? 55. Money or fame? 56. Washing dishes or doing laundry? 57. Snakes or sharks? 58. Orange juice or apple juice? 59. Sunrise or sunset? 60. Slacker or over-achiever? 61. Pen or pencil? 62. Peanut butter or jelly? 63. Grammys or Oscars? 64. Detailed or abstract? 65. Multiple choice questions or essay questions? 66. Adventurous or cautious? 67. Saver or spender? 68. Glasses or contacts? 69. Laptop or desktop? 70. Classic or modern? 71. Personal chef or personal fitness trainer? 72. Internet or cell phone? 73. Call or text? 74. Curly hair or straight hair? 75. Shower in the morning or shower in the evening? 76. Spicy or mild? 77. Marvel or DC? 78. Paying a mortgage or paying rent? 79. Sky dive or bungee jump? 80. Oreos or Chips Ahoy? 81. Jello or pudding? 82. Truth or dare? 83. Roller coaster or Ferris wheel? 84. Leather or denim? 85. Stripes or solids? 86. Bagels or muffins? 87. Whole wheat or white? 88. Beads or pearls? 89. Hardwood or carpet? 90. Bright colors or neutral tones? 91. Be older than you are or younger than you are? 92. Raisins or nuts? 93. Picnic or nice restaurant? 94. Black leather or brown leather? 95. Long hair or short hair? 96. “Ready, aim, fire” or “Ready, fire, aim”? 97. Fiction or non-fiction? 98. Smoking or non-smoking? 99. Think before you talk or talk before you think? 100. Asking questions or answering questions?

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reblog not writing ask thingy

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snowwritings

7 years ago

Here’s mine!

this is ugly but i don’t have patience ever

here you go team watch your favorite books duke it out for whichever you think is the best book……….. no1 @ me about the matchups

bloodbound’s here cause i had an uneven number lmao……

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reblog choices stories you play playchoices not writing

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snowwritings

7 years ago

Meanwhile at the PB emergency meeting...

"WHO LEAKED THIS INFORMATION? WE WERE GOING TO CHARGE FOR THAT!"

Crack theory time.

The Endless Summer crew managed to save the World, but unbeknownst to them they ended up back in time.

So they hop onto a plane and start flying back home. But because Jake is flying they crash and die horribly.

The only thing to survive the crash unscathed is Jake’s jacket (because it got “accidentally” thrown from the plane). The jacket is blown away by the wind until it is found by a Berry High student

And that is how Micheal Harison got his signature look….

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reblog Welp playchoices not writing

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snowwritings

7 years ago

Sorry For The Long Post! (And Low Quality Pics? Why Tumblr?)

Sorry for the long post! (And low quality pics? Why tumblr?)

Easy answer for number one. The freshman, book two, chapter one is one of a my absolute favourites. It has specifically two scenes with Kaitlyn and Emily that I have always enjoyed. The first being Kaitlyn meeting the mom and their walk back to the dorm and the diamond scene at the winter festival.

What I love about them are that they are simple innocent moments in their relationship. Not a care in the world. They are just enjoying their time with each other. From kaitlyn running up and twirling Emily in the air to their silly snowball fight and kissing in the snow.

They are the moments that we do not get to see anymore. They still happen of course, but we have come to to a point in the narrative where it is simply commonplace and therefore unnecessary to keep mentioning. If anything it would become stale and too repetitive to the reader.

Anyway, the scenes are a little bit of fluff that you can go read in the first chaoter that personally warms my heart and influences my fanfics of the two. They are a raw look into how the two act.

FINAL DAY: QoTD

1.) What’s your favorite Kaitlyn chapter/scene?

2.) 3 things you love about kaitlyn and why?

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long post playchoices just snowy thoughts kaitlyn appreciation week kaitlyn liao the sophomore

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snowwritings

6 years ago

Today is the Transgender Day of Remembrance. Honor those killed in anti-trans acts of violence; mourn the lights in our community that have gone out; say their names and tell their stories; and vow to fight for those still with us.

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reblog personal transgender not writing trans day of remembrance

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snowwritings

7 years ago

This is a wonderful idea. Thank you to the both of you for creating a great place to spread even more love in the fandom.