RAAAHHH!! Razz To Me Is By Far The Most Cunty Of The Berries, Hope Y'all Like The Playlist

Me when I when I when I when when when I was gone and thus forgot about Tumblr due to some life stuff

Introductions! Hi, I'm quite literally here just to post my personal headcanons about Undertale and AU's. Yeah, it'll mainly center around the skeleton brothers, but you can see stuff I add about other characters too! I really love the idea of them all being forced roommates and stuff or other circumstances. I've never actually posted before, but I'll try to like- post in order best to my abilities. Yes, I also will be including separate stuff from my headcanons about any x reader! I'd love recommendations, questions, etc! If you have any requests please don't hesitate to let me know!

UPDATE: (I do take breaks, especially since recently the election has swallowed my mental health. I make posts on other accounts, but I like to keep them private for my other fandoms or self. Thank you for your understanding (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠✧⁠*⁠。)

TAGS:

I'll hold my tags here and make sure you guys can find access to things better :-))

Things I won't include/tolerate:

I'm personally a queer person and have done my best to be supportive of communities. I don't tolerate any racist, homophobic, or transphobic ideals. I also don't do ships among existing characters, such as Frans, Fontcest, Papscest, etc. (If you like Sans x Sans, you do you and that's cool and I'm not gonna like- come after you. I don't post that though)

If you're one of the following, DNI:

- Homophobic

- Transphobic

- Racist

- Ableist

- Zoophile

- PDFphile

- Hate Furries

- Are against Palestine

- Overall a proshipper because I know I missed something

I politely ask this of you now because I will block you and that will be that. I don't like that, and so I'll cut that off immediately if possible.

I am aware that people have trauma. This is not something I will actively target. However, I am not someone who wants to be involved in these communities and I suggest seeking actual help if you're dealing with trauma in general. I do not hate you for your trauma, but I do not support the community and I want to stay away from that. You're actively hurting yourself by allowing yourself to consume fetishized and sexualized media, and I'm sorry that you are struggling. Please try to detangle yourself and explore other ways people explore trauma in healthier ways if you want to actually get better. Proship media isn't going to help in the long run

Thank you for your time, I don't expect this to get any attention but to those who are reading? I appreciate it

TO NOTE: Asks are currently open, even if I post as infrequently as I do and I mostly will answer requests for x readers of any Papyri or Sans since I love self indulgences. I also do ones for the roommate tropes similar to There's Still Magic teehee. I also will tag anything suggestive under cw suggestive even if I don't do it often. Fluff is my go to, but y'know, I'm open to a lot of stuff :-)

Thank you and goodnight

OMGOMGOMG I SAW UR POST AND AHHHH THANK YOU!!!!! It’s no problem at all, I completely understand! I was getting a tad worried I was overloading you with all the ideas and such haha(These guys r giving me a major dopamine rush and then after I send in an ask I’m like “ough….that idea was kinda silly..ough”) but I appreciate that post sososos much!!! I hope your entire month goes amazingly, I hope both sides of your pillow are cold, I hope your phone charges at every single angle possible AAAAAA :333

☀️ anon <3333

OFC OFC OFC!! I am interested in other fandoms, and recently I just had a very long term friendship end so I'm recovering. When I get back to writing, I look forward to looking at your asks and answering them properly when inspiration hits!!

What types of gifts would the boys give? And/Or what gifts would they like to receive?

Ooooo I love this question! Okay, so I'm going to go over a list for each of the skeletons and descriptions for what they would like. Sanses like Error, Fresh, and Ink will also be included, but I generally have an inclination to think that most if not all the "Outcodes" variety are on the Aroace spectrum! So, you can interpret these as either romantic, platonic, or even a mix for QPR's(Queer Platonic Relationships) if you'd like. Enjoy :-)))

Vanilla: He usually gives more lighthearted gifts that have to do with inside jokes than anything. He likes to also give gifts to people he really loves more thoughtful gifts of course, but those are extremely rare and/or for birthdays exclusively. For what he likes to receive, he expects gifts that have to do with inside jokes as well since to him that means you also find it funny or remembered this joke. He also loves anything really, he's not picky. He'll only lose it and find himself jokefully crying about any tomato based items like tomato chips, bottles of ketchup, and clamato juice

Cyperus: He loves to remember gifts based on what people like, usually having to do with their interests specifically. He won't give randomly based gifts to throw out there either, in fact he makes items himself if he can since he's so handy. He loves gifts based on his interests as well, even if that gift wasn't expensive or bought to begin with but made instead

Red: Like Vanilla, he loves jokingly giving gifts based on inside jokes or based on what that person hates. An example would be one time giving Pitch a mug of dogs instead of cats, grinning at the look of disappointment in him. If you hated these pair of socks at the store? Bam, gift time. Still, on important holidays, he actually can pull through. He will know they expect to get gifts they hate from him, but he'll have a hidden second gift as well. When giving Pitch the dog mug, it was Giftmas, so he pulled the actual gift from his pocket, a cat collar(for doomfanger) wrapping around a cat mug of higher quality. He doesn't care what gifts you give him, as long as it reminds you of him. He doesn't like expensive gifts though, since money being spent on him is already something he's picky about

Pitch: Always expect gifts of quality over quantity with him. He'll take you on store splurges and let you pick your favorite outfits or items at a store, but only rarely when he also wants new clothes. On holidays like your birthday or on Giftmas, however, he won't let you know at ALL what he plans for you. He always has a list of things you like and always tries to remember ways to combine that. You like the color blue and your favorite animal is a cat? Bam, a cat statue with blue accents. Perfumes you wear? He'll take note and find new ones you will like. In return, he won't expect you to buy him something super expensive since not everyone has money for that. He will always appreciate you taking note of what he likes, especially if it's based on red or black things, and if he can keep this gift for a long time for memories sake

Powder: He will give you gifts when he has to be at work for a long time, ways of reminding you of him while he's away. I don't think he'd work in any police force due to my own opinions, but he does have an active jobs that allows him to be creative and helpful to his communities like community service. Sometimes events have to take days or weeks, so he's going to make sure you don't miss him for too long. Gifts he loves to receive is ones that prove you thought of him or remembered something about him that he let slip once or twice before. That in itself is enough for him

Stretch: He LOVES it when he can give someone gifts, since he always remembers what they like. Tokens of appreciation and things that, for example, you and him both like. Video games for you to play alone or with him, tickets to that movie you wanted to see, etc. He rarely likes gifts due to not wanting people to spend money on him, but he always tries to carry the gifts around when he can. If he really wanted this video game he'll always try to see if you can play it together or take turns with it as well, or hug you when you give him manga or comics he really wanted. He'll only slightly scold you though

Saint: He rarely gives gifts, and when he does, expect him to have thought of what to give you for a while or just random little charms and knickknacks since he's just odd to begin with. Small stones, random items he (stole) got, or even just odd items he finds in the woods. Otherwise, he tried to make gifts instead of buying them since he's more worried about the significance over the value it costs. He learned how to sew when he was underground, so when he first decided to participate in Giftmas with the rest of the "family", he sewed a fabric blanket together for you. He knows that it gets cold in winter, and maybe you'll like it? He ended up looking at you with a blown out eyelight when he saw you smile and decided to give you more gifts like that. Stuffed animals sewn together, scarfs, etc. He finds gifts for himself a little pointless since that money can go to something useful, so food is always a good gift for him. He will always value ones that mean so damn much to him that can last a long time for him to carry around or clothes he can wear like a beanie hat you gave him for winter

Lunar: It's not often he'll give others gifts, but when he does it's baked goods or handmade items like with Saint. He makes items made together, like a pretty wind chime he made for your birthday made of pieces of glass that reflect in the light when the sun hits it just right. They're funky, a little odd, but always sweet. He doesn't ever really like people giving him gifts since he wants those things to go into things like taking care of yourself or the house, but handmade gifts always make him sentimental. He still has the very first gift he received when above ground from you, which was this new, unique scarf you got for him. He carries it around and wears it everywhere, using the remains of his old scarf to give to Saint and remake in the later made fabric blanket he helped make

Carmine: He will always always ALWAYS find ways to get things for you. He'll pamper you in ways you can't even complain about if you try to scold him for spending so much money, such as getting useful items that you need for work, for the house, etc. He prides himself in providing for you, always knowing what you need when going out like chapstick or a jacket, since he works hard to remember what you like and need. (He read a book about humans and what they need so flexing in his knowledge also makes him preen) He can provide for himself, so he prefers affection through helping him around or physical touch. He's actually the most prideful in receiving gifts unless they're practical, so for Giftmas he always prefers if people just spend time with him when looking at Giftmas lights or help him prepare for the holidays. On his birthday, the family knew he was picky about things like that so they either got things to celebrate a surprise party or items he needed for cleaning. Practicality and all that. When you got him a very pretty necklace for his first birthday with you, however, he just stared at you and said nothing at first. It was gold with a carmine gem in the center, something uniquely him. He tries to scold you for it, but his voice is a little shaky as he asks you why you got it. Then, he put it on and he practically never took it off, still doesn't unless he's taking a shower. He told you never to do it again though

Rus: If you really want something but can't get it for whatever reason, there are rare times he'll get it for you. He never wants you to pay him back, and he always is willing to pamper you. Most of the time his gift giving consists of paying for takeout or paying for snacks at a movie theater, so these moments are few and far between. Still, he considers what you really really want and takes note of these things, only rarely needing to go based on what you like if you're really secretive in what you want. He doesn't need gifts to feel loved, but the times you do get him something that he can have to be reminded of you, he values it and takes extremely good care of it to remember that he's loved by you. The physical proof that you do at least. He's always willing to accept these things, but you don't have to do it constantly and he'll scold you if you do otherwise

Razz: He takes note of things you want, is willing to pamper you at times, and even if he's smart with his money he doesn't mind getting these things. He thinks that buying expensive gifts is cheap in the face of other forms of affection, but he is willing to do it on special occasions. When it comes to receiving gifts however, it's something a little different. He doesn't need expensive gifts or anything that he just really really wanted, since he's similar to Carmine when it comes to spending money on him. But, also just like Carmine, he doesn't expect to receive gifts at all since out of all monsters, you got something for him? You put thought into it, and he feels deeply loved for that since he always encourages you to show him love in different ways for many reasons. He treasures it and wears it if he can, or else he'll make sure his gift can be proudly shown since he will brag about how much you love him as a result

Cash: Surprise surprise, the frugal skeleton actually really loves to pamper you! More than his brother, actually, and he makes sure to get you things you can wear since he can let others know he pampers you and are his loved one. He will put thought into gifts, but most of it consists of him being able to catch wind or outright hear you say you want something. He wasn't able to get a lot of things underground unless he swindled someone or stole it, so he pushes being able to provide gifts. And ah yes, the greedy bastard loves gifts. He loves that you're willing to think of him when buying him something, a bit more materialistic that way. But truly? Secretly even? He really really loves when you cook him something or get him something that you put your whole heart and soul into. The value of this gift means more than any type of gift otherwise, and he'll show it off to others and brag about your love for him. He'll wear it, take care of it, and he appreciates that you love him enough to get it for him

Wine: The most notorious for gift giving even in comparison to Carmine and Cash? Yes. He's going to get you such high quality gifts just because he knows what you like, and he's not afraid to do it. He likes to pamper you as much as he pampers Coffee, to the point that if you even try to argue he's just going to refuse arguing with you. It's almost evil. Now, for receiving gifts? Don't sweat it, he can buy himself whatever he wants! Like Carmine and Razz, the three struggle accepting anything. However, he won't scold you for getting him something, but rather ask why you felt the need to. He'll wear what you give him once he sees the sentimental value of it, even if you're worried it's not up to "his standard." The value of emotional weight is far more worthy to him and anything else pales in comparison. He loves any gifts in wine red, gold, or blacks too. If you manage to find out about his favorite dessert or chocolate though and get it for him, it'll be one of the few moments you catch him blushing as he thanks you with a slight crack to his voice. Rarely anyone can figure that stuff out, so he's impressed and slightly embarrassed along with his flattered opinion of you being raised

Coffee: Despite the wealth he and his brother has, he prefers to give and receive gifts of sentimental value. He'll draw for you, buy you sweets, and he's a soft romantic so you can expect flowers from him as well. If you buy him things he loves to eat, video games he wants, etc, he'll get sentimental that you remember what he likes since he's also pretty secretive on that stuff unless it's video games. If it's a two player he'll insist to not play it unless it's with you. When you found his secret love for sanrio and Hello Kitty specifically, he practically sobbed when you got him a hoodie. He hugged you, kissed your cheeks and didn't let you go until you or someone else pried him off.

Killer: Gift giving is odd for him. He's of course someone that wouldn't do it often, but he'd give you something based off what you both mutually like or based on something you hate in order to get a laugh. He's the type to give you odd things to see if you'll accept them, but not things that are gory or gross by any means. When receiving gifts, he would appreciate things such as knives, cat based gifts, and he wouldn't appreciate or like gifts based on the color Yellow or based on ketchup. Don't try to get him something worth of emotional or financial value though, because the amount of items he's lost overtime is insane to be honest. Chocolate or energy drinks is a good go-to

Dust: He rarely gets emotionally attached to others to begin with, so if you got a gift from him they would start small. Things like a weird rock, a flower, food he picked up sometime. He'll take pictures since he loves photography, giving you a photo of random or pretty things. He'd move to give you things of value the more intimate you are, like jewelry or trinkets. He's weird when it comes to accepting gifts, but he values them a lot more than he lets on. He'll wear what you give him, love what you cook, etc. He also appreciates books he hasn't read before since he had read all the books from underground years ago

Error: He would give you a plushie he handmade of yourself or of him, something that he'd be willing to give you since he thinks of you highly . He's very sensitive to touch, so a plushie of him would be a way to allow you to 'hug him', for example. He also makes bracelets woven together or with beads he collects, something he'd be willing to make for you. He would knit you blankets, scarves, etc. infused with his magic so that you can feel the intent sewn in with it whenever you're upset or want to feel happy. He also tends to give you these things to prevent others like Ink from messing with you, as if he's staking a "claim" that you're with him. He'll love chocolate of course, but different types of yarn would also make him excited or maybe a book about facts with different animals, monsters, etc would get him excited as well. He likes those types of things because it shows you're aware of his interests. And also, something a bit more sentimental to him, would be things based on space or cats generally

Ink: He can get a bit creative with his gifts? Drawings, paintings, carvings, little handmade knickknacks! He would create things for you to not only get you to smile and hang up, but he also would create little charms like keychains to help identify you since he has a bad memory and gets confused a lot due to timelines and multiple AU's. He also does this as a way to also "stake a claim" on you, similar to Error. If you somehow got involved with both, the two would constantly layer you with different gifts to try and prove to the other that you're their best friend or "captive". He's not hard to please either, he will accept any drawings, art supplies, charm-like necklaces or bracelets. Anything handmade from you is wonderful

Fresh: Now he's the most erratic with gift giving. This bastard can provide pins, stickers, figurines, necklaces, bracelets, charms, knickknacks, small CD players to share music tastes, candy, and more! He's fun with gift giving and he would love to make sure you even have a fanny pack or bag so that you can carry around everything he gives you. In return he's the same way, as long as you found it cool as well and thought of him. He also really loves sweets and TMNT, so those two things are a great go-to if you're unsure what to get him or song recommendations

Thank you for reading!!! :-))

The 14 Skeleton Names:

As I type this, I know that I have a lot of other AU's I can put here, but I narrowed it down to the main 14 sets of brothers to keep it short. I'll make another separate posts including the other AU's and even the outcodes like Error, Ink, Killer, etc. Not every name I use is what others use within the community, so this just keeps things in line and even will explain the reasoning behind certain names! This is entirely based on that really cheesy trope of them all being roommates so take this as if they all decided to have names to differentiate each other! Also yes, UT brothers deserve names too, it's not fair that they hardly have their names changed in those fics and also I think that both of them would find it fun!

I also decided to name each of them with the same last name: Serrif. It's a font and I think that they'd all (mostly) agree that it's a good last name for them to share. After all, it's clear that none of the monsters underground had a need for last names.

Undertale -

Undertale Sans: Vanilla Serrif. Just like vanilla ice cream, Sans has a variety of AU's with each of their own unique "toppings." I find it fitting that the classic og has the name Vanilla because there's so much to do with vanilla ice cream, you can't do something new with something such as rocky road

Undertale Papyrus: Cyperus Serrif. Cyperus Papyrus, which is better known as Papyrus, is a species of long, aquatic flowering plants that is known for being a "paper plant." It has origins dating all the way back to when the font was first used on "Papyrus Paper." Now wouldn't that be a fun reason he chose the name? He's a smart, creative monster who would definitely do something like this.

Underfell -

Underfell Sans: Red Serrif. A classic, of course. He's more of a lazy type and I think that he'd name himself Red to seem cool, instead of naming himself after food like the og. He wouldn't put too much thought into his name, but it would stick rather well since he was one of the first to be moved from his universe.

Underfell Papyrus: Pitch Serrif. Pitch black like the leather he'd wear and pitch black like his so totally cool and edgy personality! He wanted a menacing name, and he wasn't going to just name himself after a color if it didn't sound cool! (He was going to name himself something cooler, but his brother named himself after a color and so he wanted them to secretly match with color coded names)

Underswap -

Underswap Sans: Powder Serrif. Not only is it a pretty color of blue, but it's a name that implies that he's nimble and almost "floating." He has a very active personality, so he found that it's a very fitting name! It's light like his personality and behaviors, he swears that it's a better name than just Blue. He wanted to put a little bit more thought into his name than "edgy him."

Underswap Papyrus: Stretch Serrif. Also a classic, there weren't many names that he found appealing. He was nicknamed things such as carrot, but it was actually Vanilla that helped him find his name. He commented that he was like a "stretched" out version of him, joking. Of course, he couldn't pass up the opportunity to make his name not only an inside joke, but almost a small pun that he loves.

Horrortale -

Horrortale Sans: Saint Serrif. It actually wasn't his idea to be named Saint. He was more stubborn about his name since that was an identity he wanted to cling onto. However, this was still when he was just fresh outside of his underground. At the gentle persistence of his brother, he begrudgingly let himself not be so clingy about his name. The others weren't so cruel as to name him something like Axe, Swiss, etc. In fact, Powder actually was the one to come up with the name. It means a holy one, and Powder found that it was fitting because despite everything that happened: He prevailed, and kept to at least most of his morals. Saint values his name now as he opens a new chapter of his life

Horrortale Papyrus: Lunar Serrif. He was delighted to have a new name, even if he had a history with his previous name. There's a lot of shame in the underground, and so he ended up going with the name Lunar. It's pale, faded like his magic, but it also means the moon. Unlike the Sun, it is soothing and quiet, still ever bright but in its own way.

Swapfell Red -

Swapfell Red Sans: Carmine Serrif. It's a very pretty shade of red, just like his magic. He liked the idea of making himself think of a pretty color, while also going by a name that had associations to his underground roots without specifically tying the name down to it. After all, the color carmine is the color of dried blood and is a raw pigment. As a result, he chose a name that suited his tastes

Swapfell Red Papyrus: Rus Serrif. So, he really did not care for changing his name. Some people say it's because it sounds like a name a dog would have, but it's actually because he liked the sound of it by itself separate from Papyrus. papy-RUS. Carmine tried to make him choose a different name, but he stuck with it

Swapfell Purple -

Swapfell Purple Sans: Razz Serrif. Raspberry purple is a beautiful shade of purple, and it happens to be the color of purple his magic is. So, for short, he chose to call himself Razz. Razz, however, is a word that means to heckle, ridicule, or to tease. It's a habit he happens to have, and because he's educated enough to have known this, it's the real reason he chose to name himself this

Swapfell Purple Papyrus: Cash Serrif. He has a lot of ties and intelligence revolving money, the best gambler underground in fact. He's lazy, but Razz refused him to go by anything that could be associated with his original name in the name of originality. This failed, of course. But, Razz let him keep it

Fellswap Gold -

Fellswap Gold Sans: Wine Serrif. Wine is a beautiful drink that was rare in his underground, but a pleasure he had nonetheless due to his ranking. It's also a beautiful color, so he found it only rational to name himself Wine. It's a reflection of his more classy personality, after all.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus: Coffee Serrif. He wanted to go by a name that complimented his brothers, so he did the same thing as Wine by naming himself after his favorite drink. He didn't need to put much thought into it, but it works nonetheless

Some reasons have more meaning than others, so uh,,,yeah👴👍

Pt 2 on the way

I'M ACTUALLY KICKING AND SWINGING MY FEET WITH DELIGHT. I LOVE WRITING DYNAMICS AND THIS WAS THE PERFECT EXCUSE FOR ME. I'M SO HAPPY YOU LIKED THIS AND THAT YOU LOVE IT AS MUCH AS ME. I WANTED TO PUSH MYSELF TO WRITE DETAILS AND STUFF HEHEHEHEHEH I'M GIGGLING LIKE A SCHOOL GIRL

-totally non evil chuckle-

I’ve been thinking a lot about pirates lately. Maybe…. pirate underfell sans?

An evil, menacing captain of the seas comes to your kingdom, with intentions of showing your king whose really in charge. You work as a doctor in the castle, and are bandaging up a butler when all of a sudden horns blow, signaling a pirate attack. As you help everyone out, you end up locking eyes with their fearsome captain. And well, when pirates see pretty things, they just cant help themselves from taking them for their own. 😋😋

argh fr😍🤞🏽

Hey, it's meeeee. I'm gonna jump into it:

Please enjoy‼️‼️

Wow...wow. There's little that could capture the description he'd use. So, it's a bit damning when he gets to see you at what he'd consider your worst. He'll make it up to you, he swears on his soul. You didn't need to be in the middle of the crossfire, and he feels rather bad to know that the Devil himself had used you to escape.

_______________________________________________

"Shi-!" "Language." Your hands didn't stop from plucking the shard of glass and dabbling the alcohol into the butler's wound as you cut him off. This butler, which you couldn't remember the name of, had messed up his hand by dropping a glass vase and then attempting to clean up with just his hands. Or,,,,paws? Yeah, that's a better word. He wasn't very tall, in fact he was only a bit taller than you were. He was a Cat Monster, one with desaturated brown fur and drooping eyes. He was rough around the edges, especially his...vocabulary.

Nonetheless, he was always attempting to be polite with you. He would be caught sometimes by guards for drinking booze in the royal kitchen past hours, in which he'd complain and weakly attempt to excuse himself before getting water thrown on him. He was pathetic really, but you didn't mind. You suspected that he hasn't properly learned about the ways of the Palace since he's new, so you were more tolerant. So you preferred him like this, where he held still and was kind enough to listen to you. "....sorry,"

Speaking of which, your eyes darted to look at his face, which was bandaged at the moment. His ears were flattened, and so your naturally stern expression softened. "It's fine, I know that it hurts. Just hold still, okay?" He nodded, his uneven smile growing as his whiskers twitched. "Thank you doc," You huffed lightly in acknowledgement before turning your head to focus on grabbing the linen.

Being a doctor was rough, especially the royal doctor. You had a few others working with you, like assistants, but you were naturally more comfortable working on your own. You weren't like the nurses who had to help the soldiers, especially since you only focused on the servants or the royal family. Which, now that your mind drifted, you cringed at the thought.

The Dreemers.

Or, more specifically, King Asgore.

He's...in simple terms, strict. Or more precisely, he's a cruel King who isn't afraid to use violence and fear to get his point across. Some rugged barbarian dress in reds and gold, for certain. When the sun catches on the tar black glimmering from his horns, he's towering and imposing. His nose slightly crooked just like his sneer, he didn't bellow but rather spoke with a rasp. Foolish Human, foolish to work for the King whose horns are sharp enough to gore.

He has higher standards than any bull, which wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't for the fact that he was willing to slaughter anything or anyone that got in his way. Your mistake, you learned, was to even work for him. You're lucky to even be alive under his critical eye, but you suspect it's because you can identify the ache within the Goat Monster's soul. Patches of purple and swelling are much easier to spot than guilt and other turmoil, but your eyes could see beneath the curves of bone and fur. In your experience, silence and blissful ignorance were a powerful duo, and King Asgore knew that you understood this.

He at least respected your work, even if that meant he didn't really see you as well....you. His nostrils would flare at the sight of you, practiced courtesy forcing him to not spit an insult your way. You were indebted to the King, and he was indebted to you. You just finished wrapping the hand in linen when you looked up to not see a bull but rather a wet puddle of a Monster. He twisted his hand from front to back, analyzing your handy work.

"Thank you, doc," The young cat straightened up as his tail flicked, a very soft purr escaping him. You placed your hands on your hips as you scanned over the fur for any other indication of injury, humming when you saw none. "You should be more careful, butler." "Burgerpants." "Hm?" His eyes, which seemed to carry two bags of purple bruising, stared directly at your own. His toothy grin turned to a more sincere one as he offered his paw to you. "That's my name. I don't expect you to remember that, but you can call me B.P. instead."

You reluctantly shook his hand, your lips quirking up. "Well, B.P., you have quite the name. I'll try to remember," You declared with a confidence he understood and had hoped for, purring involuntarily at this, pleased with your answer. "Thank you, it's a nickname, but I think it's grown on me overtime."

You were about to speak when you were interrupted by a loud sound. A blaring, blurring sound that pierced your ears. Now what was once so quiet has changed, horns echoing around the walls of the emergency room and throughout the hallways of the palace. There's a clamoring in the palace below your window, shouts of fear that stirred both confusion and trepidation within your belly.

Before you could speak, B.P had stood up sharply, coaxing himself to take a peek. His ears were flat as his tail lashed aggressively, his fur prickling as he let out a low growl. "What in the-..." "Pirates." The Monster answered your question as his expression morphed. He seemed to be thinking about something as his brow furrowed, his lips curling back as he gritted his teeth and glared at the running figures holding sword and gun.

"I swear...they-...." He was muttering to himself as he must've had thoughts cracking into his dome just as you. You frowned, the distant sounds of running being heard. Pirates, huh? You felt a huff escape you as you rolled your sleeves up, buttoning them together as you heard the slurred sounds blending together.

You've encountered a few stories of them from around the palace. Apparently, before your presence became part of King Asgore's reign, you had heard of the Monsters of Porcelain. Two of them were leaders of a giant ship, one so large and the other so terrible. They had caused a mess, leaving a pain that was stinging and vile, leaving King Asgore to immediately demand higher security at the Palace. He had to provide hope, display strength to make it easier to strike when the day comes of their return.

It was apparent that the day had finally arrived. Everything that was painted honey and gold over the chalked stone of the palace was now fluttering with spurts of red and dust. He wasted no time, turning heel and running as he slid among the tile and turned sharply down the hallway. You couldn't chase after the fool as he had done it before you could think, only sighing now as your frown deepened.

Today was going to be rough. You grabbed your medical bag, hand gripping around the handle as you took a deep breath and huffed. Great. Just great. Any plans you had today were now slammed to a halt, leaving you here to deal with the mess of foolish Men and Monsters. You don't get paid enough for this.

"....fucking great."

_______________________________________________

"DAMN IT!" The tall skeleton shouted, ramming his body against two guards with full force as they slammed against the wall. Damn it! Damn it damn it damn it! A large monster grabbed at the guards, wrestling them to the ground before smashing their skulls a rattling mess together. She turned to the tall skeleton, his brow scrunched up as she panted. "Captain?" "GO. WE'RE NOT SURRENDERING JUST YET."

The monster looked reluctant before speaking, gesturing to the wound that was on the skeleton's ribcage. "But Captain..." "DON'T." He sharply ordered, cutting her off. She bit back a response, only nodding her head before turning down the hall with a pause to her step. Pitch watched, his ribcage shuddering as he felt his phalanges grab at the edge of a small table.

He winced as he leaned against it, his jaws curled down into a frown. Where was his damn brother? Eugh, he just HAD to run off towards the center of the palace. So idiotic. He swore to the Stars above that he was going to smash that blasted numbskull's head so hard against the ships outer rim that he would be seeing double for a whole fortnight!

The sudden sounds of running footsteps snatched his attention his head snapping to the side before he straightened up. His shoulders rolled back, tension bleeding through him. It coursed through him like a steady river under clothes and curves around bone. He felt his bones rattle slightly as his glare turned to steel, his expression intense as he was ready to fight once more despite his injury. He wasn't a coward, and enemies be damned if he wouldn't fight until dusting.

Though, what he didn't expect was to see a Human in white. He could see the way your chest heaved as you caught yourself by pressing your weight against the door frame by your hand catching yourself. You looked around the room and saw the two fallen guards, a mess that resulted in torn curtains, broken decor, and a skeleton. You locked eyes with him, and he faltered if not only a little.

A doctor, huh? He stared, still as stone as he watched you look at him critically. His hand tightened on the handle of his sword, but he did not dare raise it at you. He wasn't sure what you intended to do, but he wasn't foolish enough to notice how your sights pinned down on his chest. You expression scrunched up and looked back at the guards before looking at him once more. "Are they alive?" You asked, gesturing towards the guards in metal.

He felt his eyelight shrink, staring intently as he gruffed what sounded to be a yes. You seemed to be debating something, your eyes dragging themselves away from the guards. "....You're injured." You said a little dumbly. Yes, clearly. He huffed in response with indignation, not answering. Your eyes narrowed as you seemed to bite your tongue, debating if you should snap back a smart retort

It didn't take you more than a second of logic however to retract that idea from your mind before you spoke once more with a more cool tone. "If you let me, I can patch that up for you." There are hisses of confusion and anger all feathered and sprinkled in the air from the distance, but they sounded faint compared to the screams and the ringing.

.....What?

His steely gaze flickered to one of disbelief, before it turned to suspicion. "ELABORATE." He gruffed, authority clear in his tone. You raised a brow, how audacious. He liked that. "I'm a doctor, not a soldier. It's my job to help, sir." You firmly stated, as if it was quite obvious. He liked that too, especially as you looked at him without flinching. He said nothing, momentarily debating if he should let you. Clearly he was a pirate, you shouldn't trust him. He couldn't trust you either, not blindly anyways.

And yet, the intent in your voice was crystalline clear. Still suspicious, he stared at you with a glare that lacked much emotion. He promptly nodded his head only once, one of his leather gloves tilting his black cavalier hat in respect. "I'LL ALLOW IT." You nodded your head in return, walking towards him cautiously. Smart. Your eyes narrowed upon seeing his sheathed sword, but you didn't comment on it as you pointed at the ground.

He let out a HMPH, but didn't argue as he let his body sit on the tile floor. He winced as he clutched his wound, his legs buckling slightly as he did so. He had been slashed by a guard in the middle of a fight, staining his once white button up a blooming red as dust was chipped near the edges. You worked without saying much, setting your kit down as you went to grab a disinfectant and linen. He watched you like a leopard seal whose eyes caught prey, unmoving and almost unnaturally focused.

You were careful to help remove his black, lavish coat, unclipping the thin necklace of gold that kept it on his shoulders before letting it fall down his back. You unbuttoned his white and silken dress shirt just enough to inspect his wound, a cloth pressing straight into it. He hissed back a silent curse, trying ever so hard to hold still without showing how badly it stung. He's been through worse, has felt worse, but stars above if it didn't burn.

He took the time to keep your features imprinted into his memory, letting his head rest against the wall as he closed his eyes momentarily. This wasn't the events he had in mind, but it felt nice to have someone tend to his wounds while they were till fresh. Oftentimes he had to threaten a doctor among the townsfolk with his crew after raids such as these.

And as a bonus, he kept in mind that your bravery and honor to your job just made you twice as attractive as he found you beforehand. At the realization of his attraction, though, he instinctively clenched his fist and felt like slapping himself. What in the blasted devil??? Attraction? He must've suffered from a head injury. He didn't slap his skull backwards, however, and instead flickered his only useful eyelight away from you.

Your hands were a stark contrast to what he was used to, especially when you wrapped the linen around his chest and sliced through the material with skilled precision from your scissors. He hisses when you fasten it tight, shooting you a harsher glare that both made a stampede rush to your heart and made you murmur gently. "I know, I know..." You went to straighten yourself out as you assess him. "Better?"

It hardly registers that he had moved until a massive hand curls tightly around your wrist. The touch is not at all gentle, it's probing, the tip of each digit leaving small curved indentations in your flesh, intent on keeping you thoroughly in place. "WHY AREN'T YOU AFRAID?" His voice comes out as an odd grumbling, strained from excessive usage.

It isn't deep, either, which comes to be one of the more jarring things in this situation. At least that's what he father's based on the way your hand twitched when he spoke a bit more quietly. "Should I be? You bleed crimson just the same, do you not?" You ask, your tone probably the most gentle he's heard so far. Hmph, you should be more cautious when dealing with ordinary men or monsters like him, not yet known, but it was too late.

He dared not respond, but the way his magic left his cheekbones flush indicated that he liked what you said. He released his iron grip on you and grunted. "Stupid Human," His voice canters off to silence when you stare at him, making him feel uncomfortably vulnerable under your gaze. Before he could find something to say, you stood up abruptly.

"Now, I'm off to go help the other injured souls you ended up making a mess of, okay, skeleton?" There was a sting to your words, an irritation that he could understand despite never being a doctor. When you had skill, it was irritating sometimes since that left you with much more garbage to take care of.

Did you not even know who he was? Of course you knew he was a skeleton, but he almost felt offended that you were so bold and assertive in the face of a monster who could gut you. He didn't, however, because it was clear that you've earned it after patching him up.

He turns to you with a forced stoicism, and he speaks with a sort of keening voice, one reserved for wolves or other sorts of predators. "It's Pitch." You repeat it, once, twice. You repeat your own when he doesn't ask, repeat it just the same to him to remember. He wanted to pry further, have every secret expelled upon your tongue like the juiciest of pomegranate. Instead, he stirs, rumbles someplace in the expanse of chest, and lets you go.

What a strange doctor you are. What a strange Human you are. He likes that.

_______________________________________________

"Your brother is going to have your head, Red!" "Hah! As if!" The swing of his hand, a flick of the thumb, and the trigger is finally done being teased as he aims and shoots. Beside him, the familiar face of B.P. scowls. "You shouldn't have come, not today."

Red scowls at this, rolling his eyes the same time he rolls his shoulders. He lets the words hang heavy in the air for a stretch of time, before scoffing. "Now why's that, B.P.? You tellin your Captain what to do now?" He asks dangerously, but he's surprised to see the scaredy cat glare challengingly with a lash of his tail and the low growl that escaped his chest. Now what is this?

"If that's how you see it, then yes," He spat, flinging a chair into a servant's stomach. It felt good, especially since that bastard had made him work double a few times since he'd slink away. Good riddance. Plus, it wasn't life threatening, just hard enough to disarm and ahed enough to get his anger out. "I didn't want the doctor to be here for this,"

Red's eyes gleamed like ruby as he grinned, a bonebrow raised as the two rushed down the hallways of white stone and intricate architecture. His gaze drags up from his throat to his eyes, his soul humming with an electric excitement. "Doctor?" "Yes, that's right. They're a-" B.P.'s voice catches within his throat, like a hook had caught and dug into sensitive flesh as he chokes.

"A Human who I consider a friend."

Red can't seem to find a sharp jab, and instead he pauses his ruthless running as he leans against a marble wall with a heaving ribcage. His golden tooth gleams against the honeyed glow of the setting sun, dull due to the towering pillars and building of the castle. He missed the smell of the sea, of being able to see the sun in all her glory.

Instead, he cocks his head to the side as B.P. joins him, placing his paws on his knees as he's bent forward and lurched down to catch his breath. "Are they cute?" He asks, teasingly and without bite, only to earn a slight hiss from his companion. "Don't even think about it. They're not built for the seas." Red has found that B.P. has grown a spine, or at least one that solidified enough when it came to you.

You really must've meant something to him, and so Red respected that. Anyone can be considered valuable, after all. He rubbed his lower jaw with his phalanges, mockingly debating something. “We do need a doctor, B.P. If they're a friend…well…. 'm sure they wouldn't mind helpin a couple of misfits, yeah?” He chuckled, seeing B.P. biting back his tongue. Heh. Adjusting his cloak, the fur around the rim grazing against his neck, he cracked his knuckles.

“Ah, ‘m just messin with ya. Come on, we got a King to slaughter!” He roughly patted the scrawny idiot on the back, knocking the wind out of him temporarily. He didn't wait to try and see if he listened, knowing that he would anyways, and he instantly ran down the hallway with heavy steps, his boots clinking along the way.

The idea sounded appealing, but he didn't think you were worth the time of day if he couldn't even know who you were. And besides, even if you were a pretty thing, he wouldn't take you without reason.

.

.

From the bottom of his crooked soul, he didn't think he was actually going to meet you. Wow...wow. There's little that could capture the description he'd use. So, it's a bit damning when he gets to see you at what he'd consider your worst. He'll make it up to you, he swears on his soul. You didn't need to be in the middle of the crossfire, and he feels rather bad to know that the Devil himself had used you to escape.

_______________________________________________

To lock eyes with a predator indicated the urgency to escape, or at least you thought so. So may Asgore be damned and sent straight to wherever he belonged. Right now, the predator you locked eyes with seemed actually more concerned with your life than his own.

When the smoke thins out from the burning hot muzzle, the red mist that seemed to develop skulls and screaming faces, only now could you see the obscure figure in better detail. You see a glimmer of gold and aren't so shocked to see the absence of a normal face. A skull head is what meets your eyes with teeth set in a strained, Cheshire grin. You see rings adorning his bony fingers gleaming under the light, and how gold practically danced around his chest and body.

His stature was shorter than the previous skeleton, and only now did it click that the two could be related. Both had one working eyelight, both had an anger within their souls, and they both clearly held the same cocky air to them that was unmistakable. Something sticky is running down your face, nails digging into your head as the tall, imposing King is holding your body in place. It should be expected. You are not as hard as bone or as tough as the skin of a fruit when you're finally clawed into.

You are stripped of all your defenses right now, laid bare as if the clothes on your back did not matter. Your fate now rested in the palm of a Pirate with a deadly glint to his eye and a King whose heart, if he even had one, was as black as charcoal. You're starting to feel beads of sweat prick at your skin, down your nape as the two coerced but spoke in what felt like a tongue you couldn't decipher. This does not prompt a response from you, knowing better than to thrash about despite the urge to twist and kick and scream and tear.

An anger within the skeleton resembled your own, united in unsaid words and not quelled as the King of Monsters offered a horrid, demanding choice. The ugly, ivory prongs atop his head was like a crown of authority, but you felt that the cavalier hat atop the porcelain skull held the same degree of power. Something smelt to be burning mixed in with gunpowder, something wooden and electric.

Your eyes crawled to glare at the King, seeing his misplaced wrath as his other hand gripped the golden and handcrafted spear that stood tall like a pillar. He had grabbed you to avoid getting shot, but he was clearly interested in making sure that it was only him he was concerned about . He seemed to hold the same morals as street rats, willing to throw anything away in the name of survival. A coward disguised as a beast, a Monster of deceiving embers.

King Asgore seemed exasperated by this entire ordeal rather than eager, even if he could leave you gored out instead of fulfilling his oath to you. Your side of the oath, however, was that you'd dedicate your life to him. You didn't particularly have to be alive to have him do his duties, and it was clear that he was debating whether or not to toss you away.

You released the breath that was caged inside your lungs unbeknownst to yourself, but a heavy hand clasped over your mouth to shut you up. "Quiet, Human." He spat. Oh you did not like that. You didn't even seem to think about the repercussions, head cloudy with disgust at his audacity.

So, you sank your dulled teeth straight into the side of his fat fingers, digging into flesh as you bit down hard. There's a blinding white as though the sun has seared its way into your skull as you hear a loud, rumbling shout, rays of warmth sprouting from your skull as a blow strikes down and you're flung forward towards the marble floors at the feet of the undead. It's a shock that you didn't just crack your head, if not for the way your head was angled and instead collided within the arms of a Monster who seemed less cruel.

He stumbled back, clearly having intentions to catch you when he lurched forward. The sudden shift in gravity made his knees buckle, but he head steady. Ah, is this what the smell was beyond gunpowder? Your eyes locked with his, only for your vision to grow blurry from exhaustion and blood loss that was blooming from your head. Foolish Human. You felt heavier suddenly, before you completely blacked out.

_______________________________________________

"this the Human you spoke of?"

"Yes, Captain. Stars above, they look terrible..."

"WE'RE TAKING THEM."

"What??"

"what choice is there? I told ya already-"

"DON'T DISOBEY YOUR CAPTAINS, GOT THAT? YOU'RE BACK HOME, DON'T FORGET THAT."

Burgerpants was silent at this, his ears flat. Thankfully, you were sloppily patched up, so you weren't on the verge of death anymore. He grimaced, but a part of him was silently grateful. Both Red and Pitch seemed to have met you before this, even if Pitch had tried to act like he was indifferent to seeing you bleeding and passed out. Burgerpants was less levelheaded, practically a walking porcupine as he assessed you and fretted.

He had wanted to leave you there, at the palace, especially since the Pirate life was rough. You were too, though, and brave. Foolish more like it, but brave at least a little since you had dared enough to bite King Asgore hard enough to tear his flesh based on what Captain Red said. You wouldn't be alive right now though if they didn't take you, left to bleed out or be speared down by Asgore as punishment.

He stroked the back of his hand against your cheek, frowning down before he turned to the two Skeleton Brothers. They were quite decisive, more so than he expected them to be, but hey. You are safe now, and surely he can explain everything when you wake? He's so sorry that you were caught within this mess.

The two Captains nodded his way, and so begrudgingly he walked towards the door of your temporary room. Stars, he really needed a beer.

_______________________________________________

Closing Notes: heourgh. I wanted to put a bit more effort into this writing because I love pirates and wanted some good world building set up. I'm sorry it took so long, especially to you @vamppiko

Forgive me, testing was beating my ass

Rus Serrif Playlist

He's one of my favorites so his playlist is frequently listened to, I love him sm. Lmk if the artist doesn't want their art used btw, enjoy!

Cash Serrif

Now what do you want? Gold? Alcohol? His time? Well, you already have it now.

*SF!Purple Papyrus seems annoyed, but he'll hear you out

- Official height is 6'3

- He/They

- Recovering drug addict

- Drinks Hot Sauce

- Adores money but is frugal

- Can swindle you out of your life savings

- Best to go to for deals and thrift shopping savings. a haggler

- One of the worst pranksters

- Can tell when others lie easily but is slick about catching them

- Smokes the most out of all the others, not recovering

- Is blind in his right socket

- Writes erotica but hides it

- a cat person

- Younger Brother of Razz

- Good friends with Coffee, Stretch, and Rus

- He will flee to avoid fighting until cornered, but he'll make sure to take you with him. It's not a matter of being a coward, but he just doesn't like using his magic for fighting

- Stingy, he keeps track of debt, but is reluctant to pay others back

- Greedy, easily bored, impulsive, intuitive, frugal, creative, open minded, lazy, genius, playful, nosy, sassy, untrusting, blunt, loyal, observant, mellow, rebellious, cynical, clever, lighthearted, sarcastic, and mischievous

- Curses frequently, even in front of authority since he doesn't care

- Loves PDA, he wants people to know who he associates with as a sort of way to mark them as untouchable

- A great Gambler, he's only lost once and it cost him

- Used to think lowly of the Swap brothers, yet eventually realized how strong their bond was. He respects Powder and admires Stretch

- Never had a bad relationship with Rus, the two never bothered to dislike each other because of their brother's tiff

- Grew to see Wine, Powder, and Carmine as role models despite hiding this fact

- Loves to stir the pot and gossip about things

- Loves to joke, but if someone doesn't laugh for a serious reason, he refuses to joke like that again

- Slacks off often, but never misses a deadline if serious

- Can be personable, kind, and sweet in small moments if he likes someone

- If he doesn't like someone he's rude, dismissive, and sarcastic while showing that malice

- He forms his own opinions on others through their actions instead of listening to others, since he would want someone to do the same for him. He doesn't have a good reputation, after all

- Adores spicy desserts, but also cheesecake

- Doesn't like to be judged but allows people to do it, he doesn't blame them after all

- Once he recovers from his addiction, he's serious about it.

- His magic smells of cedarwood, magic tastes like nectarine

- Best friends with Stretch, as he helps ground him. He helps his confidence

- Can easily get out of doing something with his smooth talk, but he ends up kissing ass if caught

- Great at funding and bills despite having gambled people their items

- He has detachment issues, but this is a facade since he actually loves and cares for others very deeply

- Hyperventilates when crying, hates to be seen so he tries to hide it

- He was always more popular than his brother since he fell into influence while his brother was part of the Royal Guard. He saw what it did to Razz, and he hates it, so he retaliates as a result

- He often caused drama to get his brothers attention

- He talks a lot of shit about others, but no one is allowed to talk shit about Razz

- He grew distant as he grew older until he and Razz blew up on each other.

- He often felt his brother was ashamed of him while underground, watching his brother value power. Because of the underground's influence, he too found himself valuing worthless things such as physical pleasures

- Actually a huge dork when in love, he has never experienced it despite his "ladies talk"

- Smokes with a Calico lighter

- Yellowed bone, it's worse than other AU's because of what he has

- His magic is green when underground, despite it originally not being so. Because of the drugs that he takes and the abuse of his mind, his magic went from an orange to a sickly green

- When his brother and him argued, Cash would get high, attempting to "dream" about the two being close again. He secretly hated not being close to his older brother

- Goes to free events just for free shit

- Now that they're above ground, he tells Razz where he goes and tries to actually work on himself

- He enjoys gaming, especially with the others. However, he actually ends up being a sore loser once he got his ass kicked in Mario Cart from Coffee

- He tends to sneak around and is able to get information on others, but he's only a threat if you cross him or his loved ones. He's not afraid to record, and is actually willing to take initiative to provoke someone to get them to talk

- His compliments can be kinda weird. Such as "that was so great that I'm spinning on porches in Ireland" "????"

-He doesn't talk about his interests often and this is a pain when trying to figure out what his hobbies are. But if you ask and show interest when he's in the middle of being excited or secretly taking part in, he'll be shy and ask you to not tell anyone. He is willing to talk about it though

- He often takes smoke breaks outside with Rus, even if he has to sneak it due to Razz's protests against it

- He butters someone up with compliments if he's caught, trying to slide away from a situation

- He would call his lover babe or baby, even if it's sparingly

Closing Notes: most of these are personal headcanons about random ways he is how he is when underground. He'd need a lot of time and patience, since he was so altered by the underground. He progressively let's his guard later on, but until then? He has a lot of work to do

@vamppiko @momolady @bigmsaxon @cinnimani @doodledrawsthings @dar-draws @frogs-are-awesome @fray @fellzeyz @godbirdart @g0nefischin @garmmy @huckleberrycomics @havockingboo @ilustramx @inanimatewaffle @j3lly-fuss0 @jeannos @jamiepridejester @karakuuls @literalnobody @akindplace @love-and-monsters @lizardlullabye @livinthefuture3000 @niehfurry @n01r-kn1ght @nillikhyth @ouniik @osleeplessflowero @painted-bees @pommeoo8oo8 @reh-hateshumans @rascal-rose @redactedfmart @siobhanchiffon @toastchild @tinyflything @untrustyou @vinnybox @vaguerival @wily-art @xgames-blog @youremyonlyhope @yerdad @yelyahwilliams @yesterdaysprint @yanilavigne

I apologize for tagging so many of y'all even if I don't do this often. I simply went through in order to help reblog because it's important to make people aware of this sort of stuff. I hope you don't ignore it, but if you do I won't blame you. Thank you

⚠️🚨URGENT🚨⚠️

⚠️🚨THIS IS NOT A DRILL🚨⚠️

MORE BELOW

KOSAS FATE IS BEING DECIDIED TO DAY (OR SOME TIME THIS WEEK)

THIS IS NOT A RUMOR

THIS IS NOT A DRILL

THIS HAS BEEN OFFICIALLY CONFIRMED BY BLUMENTHAL AND BLACKBURN THEMSELVES

WE CANNOT LET THIS HAPPEN FOR THE GOOD OF FREE SPEECH FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION AND A SAFE INTERNET

THIS BILL WILL HAVE CATASTROPHIC WORLDWIDE EFFECTS

THIS BILL CANNOT PASS

CALL YOUR REPS SENATORS HOUSE WHATEVER

MAKE SOME FUCKING NOISE

BE THE BIGGEST FUCKING HEADACHE YOU CAN BE

LINK FOR RESOURCES:

HELP STOP KOSA

HELP STOP KOSA

HELP STOP KOSA