Sorry I'm Dead I'm Stressed And Lazy

Hey twst community I'm a kink blog so don't look at my blog if you don't wanna see Freak Shit™ but I needed to get it out there-

I am. So angry. WHY WOULD THE ADVENT CALENDAR GIVE US A TENFOLD KEY RIGHT AFTER THE IDIA BIRTHDAY EVENT ENDS THEY KNOW PEOPLE LOVE HIM SO WHAT HE'S NOT THE MOST POPULAR IN THE ENGLISH SERVER HE HAS JAPAN'S HEART AND HE HAS MINE TOO DAMMNIT YOU DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO EXTEND THE EVENT YOU COULD HAVE JUST SWITCHED AROUND THE ADVENT CALENDAR GIFTS AAAASAAAAASDGDHGHHJKHFBUHFHJFHGHF

Thank you for listening. Don't follow me if you're not ready for my content :)

Imagine person A cuddling up with person B on the couch after a long, exhausting day of work. The lunch A had isn’t agreeing with them and leads to them passing gas whilst laying on top of person B. Person B doesn’t mind and soothingly rubs A’s back while they let it rip, even shamelessly moving their hand down to A’s bum to feel the bubbly emissions against their palm while they plant soft kisses on A’s cheek.

Smut bonus: Person A is so gassy and achy that they can’t help but moan and whimper into B’s ear after each burst of gas that leaves their bottom with a sprinkle of small burps being let out into B’s ear as well. A’s helpless, gassy state ultimately makes B terribly horny and they can’t help but grind against A’s body, pressing against their stone hard tummy to force out more gas from them until they can’t help but go down on them.

If you call pedophilia a kink please unfollow me and never talk to me again

fat trans people. you agree. reblog

How are you finding yourself today? 😁

Definitely feeling a lot lighter that's for sure 🤭

I'm giving my guts some time to recover, I do value my health after all

But ofc I won't stop here~ maybe sometime I'll try sugar free candy again

Sorry I haven't posted much copro or eprocto content

Chronic stress turned me into a puppy

Buy hey if anyone wants to ask me puppy questions I'm down 👀🦴🐾

I got a lil advice for partners of puppies via my partner! When playing fetch and your puppy bends down to pick up the toy/object, frot em from behind!! Or fuck em!! Whichever you're ready to do, love on your sweet puppy from behind!!!!

Thank you partner for your quick thinking and sexual genius :3

And make sure to check my blog before following me ✨✨✨✨

at the dinned table. straight up "rubbing it." and by "it," lets justr say, my tumby

This morning I woke up with a really upset stomach (ate a lot before bed) that was growling and I kept letting out these big loud farts. And then I felt the need to shit and had to hurry to unload a bunch of mushy diarrhea. I felt so much better when I finished though

mmm sounds like such a big relief... It's like a climax, getting to empty a ton of rich slop from your colon 🥵💦

I'd love to feel that right about now, I had a big spicy dinner and my tummy is so bloated! Gotta keep holding tho 😊🤭😖

hiiii another lurker who hasn't talked before here hehe. i really like your blog and i've been trying to work up the courage to send in my own ask for a while now >w< but something happened yesterday that made me need to.

so my roommate is really gassy right. like REALLY gassy especially when she eats trigger foods. and her farts are literally probably the hottest i've ever heard irl bc they're SO like. bubbly and loud in a specific way that doesn't really have a word. like they sound like a balloon deflating really loud usually. but really deep and low especially when she's on the couch.

they also generally STINK. (again especially when she eats trigger foods - scary!!!) and she used to be really bashful about it but like. when you live with someone you live with someone and so she kind of has just stopped caring about farting around me. she's not ALWAYS gassy but sometimes she's a nostril destroying fart machine i swear 😵‍💫😵‍💫. and it makes me go insane but she has no clue she's like a roommate from heaven for me.

ANYWAY so yesterday we were watching tv and she got up to use the bathroom. and as she was leaving the room she farted. and like. lowkey ok the side of the couch i was sitting on was right next to the hall so it was actually kind of like. close to my head. and it didn't sound anything like her usual ones, it was like a quiet puumffff... sort of sound. and then like within 15 seconds it hit me and i was DYING bc it was SO BAD. and it was SO HOT at the same time so i was dying in a totally different way 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫ldjfkgdljkfg. and she blows up the bathroom for a while and she comes out. and i swear to you this woman FINALLY SMELLS THE AIR out here and goes like "ooh, sorry about that fart" like GIRL you have no clue the half of what you just put me through dfkghjdfkgjhdfglhj...

anyway so how to tell roommate that i kind of want her to eat parmesan garlic pringles and fart on my face and laugh at me for flinching away but i think i might die before i ever have the courage to tell her anything like that hey wait this isn't google >vvvvvv<

(could i be 🎨 anon?)

hooooly shit I would not survive a roommate like that 😳😩 your description of the sound sounds like my ideal farts, especially into the couch cushions 🥴🥴

but damn, the way she noxiously farted basically in your face and didn't even notice 👀 a shame you probably can't ask her to do it again, but I wish that reality for you anon 🙏🙏