Time For Another Coffee Painting Post 🥳 This Time, It's None Other Than The One And Only Gollum.

some foggy jmart in these post they died separately 20 years ago times

Hey did you know some caterpillars are carnivorous? Not small emperor moth caterpillars, but they fit Jon better so.

Jon and Martin seasons 1-5 :,^)

few clips ive gathered of astarion being worried/protective

claimed by the sea 🔱

In Season 2, Aziraphale was Going Too Fast for Crowley

There's two primary reasons this is the case.

The first, is that in this season we saw Aziraphale reaching out to Crowley in ways he hadn't done before. We saw the increase in physical touch, we were told about the increased communication, the whole 'our car, our bookshop' thing and of course, the ball scene.

The second is Crowley's depression and the numerous hints we got this season that he wants to run away from it all.

I'm going to start with premise number two, because it makes me sad and I want it explored first, so the romanticism of Aziraphale can sooth that hurt.

There are multiple ways Crowley's depression is shown to us in this season. The first we see in the very first episode. As he's on the bench with Shax, he asks this:

"Do you ever just think what's the point? ... Heaven, Hell, Demons, Angels. It's all... it's all, well, pointless."

This is the first indication we get that Crowley's depressed. He's struggling to care but also - and this will be a running theme - he wants to run away from it all. He doesn't want them to be his problem anymore. He doesn't see the point of them anymore.

But the biggest demonstration of his depression is his relationship with the Bentley this season.

He's literally living in his car. And we see no indication that he wants to it be any other way. It's insignificant to Aziraphale. They don't bring it up at all. It's not mentioned between them. Which means it's a status quo that's been established and set in stone.

When Aziraphale returns with the Bentley after his jaunt to Edinburgh, Crowley is literally waiting at the door to the bookshop with his plants, almost anxiously.

He's ready to shove a box into Aziraphale's arms the moment he steps near the door. "There you are!" Crowley exclaims as he shoves a box of plants in Aziraphale's arms. And while Aziraphale is a bit shocked at being met so suddenly, he's not surprised Crowley is going back to the Bentley. He even helped.

But why? Yes, he loves the Bentley, it is his world, he's extraordinarily connected to it. But I also think it's more than that.

The Bentley is literally his get-away vehicle. He doesn't want to deal with Heaven, Hell and all that lot. But he's also depressed. He's lost his flat, most of his plants, he no longer has the structure of Hell to fall back on. He's listless. But through it all, he has the Bentley. If he wants to leave, if things get to be too much, he can leave in the Bentley. He's already wanted to do it in season one, when he offered to literally drive them to Alpha Centauri.

This makes the scene where Aziraphale refers to the bookshop and the Bentley as theirs hit a little bit harder. For Aziraphale, the bookshop is safety and it's staying put. It's consistency. For Crowley the Bentley is an escape, in a very literal manner.

Which brings us to Aziraphale.

This season Aziraphale was reaching out, the scene above with the 'our Bentley' being one of those moments. But other moments is the increased touching they're doing. There's a lack of distance between them there's never been before. Aziraphale is reaching out physically and emotionally (our Bentley scene), like in these moments:

But of course, then there's also the Jane Austen ball, that was "supposedly" for Maggie and Nina, but let's be real, it was as much for himself and Crowley as it was for them.

But before I get into that, lets look at a moment after Aziraphale first proposes the plan.

Muriel is poking around the Nina and Maggie thing, and Crowley says to them, "Don't hesitate to ask me if you have any other questions about love."

And Aziraphale goes on one of those lovely face journeys Michael Sheen is so very good at. He looks all at once, hopeful, nervous, tentative and like he's gearing up for something. He sucks in a breathe and then blows it out silently. There's a lovely little gif of the moment which you can find here. But here's a couple of screengrabs as well.

He does this little silent out take of air as if needing a moment to gather himself because Crowley was acting like a master of love and Aziraphale was planning on them dancing together and realising they were in love.

Oh, right lets get back to that.

Okay, so when they were spitballing ideas about how to get Maggie and Nina to fall in love, Aziraphale comes up with this:

"People would gather and do some formal dancing and then realise they had misunderstood each other and were actually deeply in love."

Coupled with the increased physical affection, the whole thing with the Bentley and then Aziraphale's actions during the 'ball', it's clear he's ramping up to 'something'. I'm still personally of the opinion that as angels and sex-less beings there won't be much of an element of 'sex' or even kissing to their relationship. But Aziraphale was leading up to 'ramping up' their relationship, giving it a new title, possibly even cohabitation, one day.

During the ball scene, when Crowley joins Aziraphale, Michael has another lovely little facial journey where you can see Aziraphale working up the courage to invite Crowley to dance.

And then, when he does work up the courage to ask (or rather demand), he's absolutely giddy about it. (side not: that is also an amusing range of expressions for David there too)

But he's not listening. Aziraphale is too wrapped up in his fantasy to see what's happening with Crowley in front of him. And it's not something Crowley is expecting from Aziraphale either. In that last image, the focus is on Crowley and he's confused, bemused. Not angry, though, even though he's being ignored or even worried, in that moment, about the looming demon threat. Merely confused about Aziraphale's reaction.

So, we've got Crowley's depression and his desire to run away from everything, we've got Aziraphale's attempts to bring them closer together working himself up to a confession and then we've also got the outside pressures.

Nina, assuming they're together. The tension of Gabriel there in Aziraphale's shop, the strengthening risk from Heaven and Hell, the demon attack on the bookshop, Armageddon 2.0 readying and then Crowley gets the final push.

Gabriel and Beelzebub are in love, and choosing each other over their respective sides and positions, coupled with Maggie's meddling.

Prior to Nina and Maggie coming into the bookshop, Crowley tidies the bookshop and he clearly is making plans for them to go off together for an "extremely alcoholic breakfast at the Ritz." Their celebration place, their 'us' place, but with the extremely alcoholic and public segment of it, not likely a breakfast for hearts to be laid out. Crowley's not planning that, he simply thinks they need to unwind for a moment before he lays out the whole 'Armageddon 2.0 bit.'

And then Maggie says this:

"Because you and Mr. Fell don't ever talk to each other. You never say what your really thinking. It was all we needed; It's what you two need as well."

And he's been given an answer. Armageddon 2.0 is coming, Gabriel and Beelzebub just ran away together, but maybe if he lays his cards on the table, this at least will be fine.

But he hasn't dealt with his depression, he hasn't worked through his 'need to run away' issues, he hasn't dealt with losing Aziraphale in the fire and then Aziraphale comes in with the Metatron's offer for him to return to Heaven. And suddenly every other road bar offering up his heart is closed. And so he does.

And it's a mess. It's impulsive, and unscripted and it's painful, raw and unorganised, he can hardly get the words out, it's all in a rush.

Because Crowley, at his heart, wasn't ready. He wanted the status quo to continue. Aziraphale is ready. He's been gearing up to it the whole season. He's ready to take the next step. But Crowley isn't. He wants to be, but he's pushing himself into it too soon. He has too many issues to work through before he can get to that. So much he needs to work through before he's ready to vulnerable and settled that way. But Aziraphale is still there, ready, going too fast for him.

20 things i learned in 2020

(inspired by shannon barry)

at a moment’s notice, in the blink of an eye, from one second to another, everything can change. there’s no preparing for it sometimes. just accepting it. 

being apart doesn’t mean we lack togetherness; there are a multitude of ways to forge connection with someone aside from physically being with them.

it really is the little things – never underestimate just how healing a warm walk or reading a good book can be.

empathy is still a foreign concept to many so surround yourself with people who care about more than just themselves.

just because the world stopped spinning for a few months, doesn’t mean time stopped moving; the months may have bled into each other but that doesn’t mean we were living in an endless march - october still came and it blessed us with orange leaves and crisp skies. july brought the fireworks it promised it would. december still came with christmas. it may have felt different, but it was still there.

don’t be afraid to stand up when others are telling you to sit down; don’t be afraid to shout when others are telling you to be quiet.

the people in your corner will save you in more ways than one and maybe, just maybe, you’ll be saving them too.

you don’t need a reason to do your makeup or wear a fancy dress. look like you’re going to prom in your backyard, eat mcdonald’s with your face beat. who cares? “just because” is always reason enough.

that thing you’ve always wanted to try? do it. instead of starting your thoughts with “what if i” or “i could just” – do it. nothing’s holding you back except for you.

the world will turn upside down in more ways than one and you are going to turn with it; all you can do is hold on tight and go with the flow. 

it’s okay to be scared, it’d be scarier if you weren’t. 

injustice doesn’t stop because the world stopped; hatred will always be loud and ugly and it’s up to us to turn that pain into promise through education and action.

being alone doesn’t have to be lonely. learn to fall in love with spending time with yourself. 

we’re all connected in ways we never realized and we affect each other’s lives in more ways than we’ll ever truly understand. we’re all connected someway, somehow. 

just because it seems like everyone else is hustling, doesn’t mean you have to as well. move at you’re own pace. 

don’t stop taking pictures just because things are ugly now; one day, you’ll look back and be glad you did. 

we haven’t lived through a chapter of a US history textbook – we are still living through one. just because the page is turning doesn’t mean everything is changing. be patient. 

you’re allowed to just be. you’re allowed to just exist. 

don’t stop chasing happiness just because it’s harder to get a hold of.

keep trying. keep fighting. keep loving. keep living.

(cc, 2020)

Doodle of Jonathan Sims through Season 1-5!

Not the final version I think. But wanted to draw him throughout the season. Had a BLAST and EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER RIDE while listening. BUT I'M FINE.

Anyway, here's a wet cat of a man.