I Don’t Actually Have A Specific Bingo Square In Mind, But What I’ve Always Wanted To See In Komahina

I don’t actually have a specific bingo square in mind, but what I’ve always wanted to see in komahina (or, like, any komaeda ship) would be komaeda dealing with trauma involving planes. It’s just an easy to exploit thing that I feel is underutilized. I guess an easy one would be Survivors Guilt?

Alright another one for the @badthingshappenbingo and cross-posted to Ao3 here.

It’s as short as the last one but I like to think it’s much sweeter.

Warnings: trauma and mental instability. Self-explanatory.

“...mae...da...! Komaeda!”

“Mm...?”

It was still dark out save for the bedside lamp they had, which was now illuminating Hinata’s stricken face.

“Hinata...kun?” Heavy with sleep and confusion, Komaeda squirmed and struggled to push himself up. With a yawn, he gently touched the other’s shoulder. “What’s wrong? Aha, don’t tell me I kicked you.” He smiles easily, head lolling to the side in a tilt. “I’m sorry. You’re a kind person, so you’ll forgive me, right?”

“Komaeda.” Hinata’s expression remained grim, his tone urgent. Komaeda’s smile widens, yet he still flinched when Hinata grabbed his hand and squeezed tightly. “You were having a nightmare.”

“So I did wake you?” He can’t help but laugh softly even as bile threatened to rise up his throat. “That’s really embarrassing.”

“You started crying.”

And to Komaeda’s dawning horror, Hinata’s fingers brushed against his cheek and came back damp.

“You were crying for your parents,” he clarified solemnly. “Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” The words came before he even needed to think. Even someone as useless and wretched as him could get this right. “Oh, no, Hinata-kun. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to bother you about something so insignificant as...”

Hinata covers his mouth. He cuts himself off immediately in response. Hinata grumbles at him, no surprise there, especially when he pulled his hand away as if burned.

He’s disgusted. From someone like mine, he’s definitely—

“Stop.” Hinata’s firm reprimand does get him to pause. Grimacing, Hinata added, “I know what you’re thinking. It’s not like that. It’s... It’s just urgh.” He trails off into an inelegant sputter. “Urgh.”

“Urgh,” Komaeda repeated with slight amusement. He watched with growing amusement as Hinata’s cheeks burned red and Hinata himself got so much more flustered, burying his face in his hands as he let out a beleaguered groan. Komaeda chuckled at this. “You don’t like it when I talk badly about myself, but you still react like this around me. You’re so funny, Hinata-kun.”

One might call it hypocritical, but... In reality, it’s because Hinata-kun’s so kind.

Hinata even flinches. How he wanted to soothe those worry lines on the other’s face.

He remembers how fearful his parents had been, too—

“Ah.” Komaeda swallowed, hearing his heart thump erratically in his ears. Had it been like this since he woke up? How troublesome. “I, um. I’m kind of thirsty. I think... I’m gonna go get a glass of water.”

“Yeah?” Hinata does turn to look at him, and he has a serious look of concentration. Honestly, under normal circumstances, Komaeda would’ve fawned over him but right now—he just wanted to get away.

He’s fortunate enough not to trip. Though, his stomach sinks when he hears Hinata rustling and padding after him.

“Me, too,” Hinata offered pretty lamely. “I’m thirsty, too.”

He pats Komaeda’s shoulder as he passes by, taking the initiative and fetching two glasses. Notably, he gets ice for one and forgoes it for the other. Knowing that Komaeda always preferred his drinks ice cold while Hinata preferred it a little lukewarm. Done without a word, because catering to him had just become routine to Hinata at this point.

I don’t...

“You’re white as a sheet,” Hinata said, setting the iced glass in front of him and feeling his forehead. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“What even is there to talk about...” The words slip before he can think. Komaeda just twists away, stricken. “I’ve become enough of a burden already.”

“You were dreaming about your parents,” Hinata said, making him stiffen. Hinata sipped at his own water coolly. “When I asked you out, I did consider the fact that you’ve been through a lot. It wasn’t a burden so much as a responsibility I took... Hell, I wanted you to rely on me long before that, too.” He takes another sip, and his cheeks are tinted red again. “When you asked to be friends, I wanted...that.”

Hahaha. He’s so cute. So cute it hurts.

“It’s silly,” Komaeda murmured, tracing the rim of the glass. The chill comforts him, because it had been so warm in the wreckage. Too warm. Actually, it had been so hot he thought he was scorching. When he was discovered, he almost died of dehydration...how funny was that? “I accepted my parents’ death years ago. To still have nightmares about it is... Ridiculous.”

I even have nightmares about my dog. Pathetic. And...

He dare not even think about what happened in despair.

“I shouldn’t have survived,” he whispered. “I shouldn’t have survived that. I shouldn’t have survived the riots. I shouldn’t have survived the simulation. But I did. Because I have Ultimate Luck.”

“I shouldn’t have survived the Kamukura Project,” Hinata pointed out bluntly. “But I did. And you did. We both did, even when others didn’t. We’re alive and that’s...”

“A burden,” Komaeda said.

“Not a bad thing,” Hinata corrected, albeit awkwardly. “I’m...glad you’re still here.”

Haha. Hahahaha. Ahhh.

“I’m glad that you’re here, Hinata-kun.” How utterly ridiculous. Why was he now—? “D...Did you know? While in despair I... I would... I would sometimes watch videos. Videos upon videos of...aircraft vehicles...”

“Oh.” Hinata sighed, setting his cup aside. “Oh, Nagito.”

“Sometimes there’d be survivors,” he whispered, snuffling as he rubbed at his eyes. God, they stung. “But survivors usually got mauled soon after. At least Naegi-san’s sister...” He laughed weakly and pitifully before his breath caught. “I... I asked for those videos to be made... Those videos were...gifts...”

Hinata embraced him tightly and fiercely, squeezing him as he fell apart.

“I was so lonely. So, so, lonely. I never got to see Mama and Papa very often. I saw so many ads for island resorts. I thought, for my birthday, wouldn’t it be nice if we all...?” He wheezed, choking on a sob. “It was nice... It was such a beautiful, beautiful place that when it came time, I didn’t want to leave...”

“It’s okay,” Hinata murmured into his ear, stroking his hair. “You don’t have to carry this alone, Nagito.”

Hinata holds him, doesn’t even complain when his shoulder gets soaked through. Just keeps petting him and whispering gentle reassurances. What a wonderful idiot he is.

Komaeda hiccups when trying to laugh.

“I... If you die, too...”

“It’ll be hard,” is Hinata’s response, and it’s sardonic as it is kind. “One of Kamukura’s talents is Ultimate Survivor.”

Survivor...

Sniffling, Komaeda does peer over Hinata’s shoulder. Their shadows stretch out, entangled into one entity.

“Survive with me, then,” he found himself saying, gripping Hinata’s back. “Okay?”

“Okay.”

Hinata Hajime didn’t hesitate for a second.