They Are All So Funny!! Was Giggling In My Fucking Bed Like A Maniac 😭🎀

─── ⋆ HE WAS A JOCK, AND SHE DID BALLET

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Jake sim was a loser. Frat boy persona and charismatic antics aside, the moment Jake was alone with a girl he would freeze. Which explains his track record of having only slept with one girl all throughout college. That was until, you came in: Decelis' top ballerina and prized possession. Following a drunken one night stand and some (shitty) advice from his friends, Jake hopes you could help him out.

pairing ── jake x female reader

genre ── strangers to lovers, fwb (no smut tho!), college au, obvious x oblivious, denied feelings, veryyy lengthy fic

wc ── 16.6k

featuring ── jay, heeseung and sunghoon of enhypen, kazuha and yunjin of lesserafim, yuna and ryujin of itzy, seunghan of riize, soobin of txt, karina and winter of aespa, jisung and hyunjin of stray kids

warnings ── mentions of sex and hooking up, implied sex, suggestive at some parts, cursing, mentions of underage drinking, mentions of family issues, yn is kinda mean and bitchy (i tried to base her off of jo yi seo so!), mentions of crying and breaking down, mentions of blood and periods, kms jokes used, mentions of food, mentions of kissing, use of the word whore once i think, jake and yn arguing a lot

DISCLAIMERS! i'm not trying to sexualize jake nor any other idols, this is a work of fiction

Beep beep beep!

Groggily you startled open rubbing your eyes trying to locate where the hell that blaring alarm sound was coming from. Finally finding the small slim black clock atop the nightstand you muttered a string of curses below your breath, slamming your hand down on it putting a stop to the shrieking rings. You immediately closed your eyes and attempted to lull yourself back to sleep pulling your black comforter over your head, arm grabbing for the pillow beneath you then- wait, you don’t own black comforters? 

Neither did you own a black alarm clock (not to be rude but who the hell even owned alarm clocks in this day and age?). Slowly you realised, you didn’t own any of this…fuck. 

Looking around trying to collect your thoughts you scanned the room to try and get a clue of which dude your drunken self managed to have a one-night stand with this time. Noticing a sleek leather wallet on the nightstand next to the alarm clock, you immediately grabbed it trying to see if there was a student ID, driver's licence, hell anything. Imagine your surprise when the first thing you saw was none other than a Decelis student ID laminated and shining with the name Jake Sim printed on it. Oh shit.

You muttered strings of curses under your breath, did you seriously have a one-night stand with Jake Sim? The proclaimed loser of the Decelis Soccer Frat? The same dude who had the reputation of trying (and failing) to let alone hold a proper conversation with the girl's gymnastic team? That Jake Sim? You scoffed under your breath, god you couldn’t believe this. Fuck you seriously needed to get a hold of your drinking problem. 

“Oh, you’re up” oh great. You were too busy trying to figure out how you got yourself into this problem that you failed to notice that said problem was standing there leaning against the bathroom door frame right in front of you. 

Whipping your head up you were greeted with the sight of Jake Sim, toothbrush in mouth, dishevelled mess, awkwardly smiling right at you. “Uh, Hi Jake.” you looked around awkwardly trying not to stare at him since he was practically half naked “Could you um, put on a shirt?” 

“Yeah, you’re kinda wearing it though…” 

You glanced down to see that you were indeed wearing his shirt, the large oversized plain black tee was so big it hung over you like a dress. 

“Right.” you said in an exasperated sigh walking past Jake into the bathroom with your clothes in hand to change

“Uh do you want breakfast? Tylenol? Are you hungover?” He was only met with the door shut in his face. 

“Yeah uh” you called out, muffled and in between grunts trying to change into your clothes as fast as possible, “No, not really! I kinda, you know, have to get back to my dorm.” 

“Oh yeah totally,” Jake replied awkwardly fuck how do you even talk to someone you just had a one-night stand with? Jesus, how did Heeseung do this shit. “Here.” you said opening the door to hand him his shirt. 

“Ah, thanks” Jake said quietly as he draped the shirt over his body. He stood there still brushing his teeth as he watched you pack your things up, shooting your head back to ask “Are the other guys still here?” 

“Nah, they all left to practise earlier” he replied watching you let out a slightly relieved sigh as you stood in front of his mirror tying your hair into a loose ponytail and touching up your makeup slightly “So…” he attempted to start before being cut off by you.

“Yeah um, thanks for whatever last night was Jake. Can’t really remember most of it, I’m sure it was good,” briskly lacing up your shoes you mentally cursed yourself for deciding to wear docs last night, “but maybe let’s not bring this up like, ever.” Finishing off with a tight knot and immediately pouncing up to only be met with Jake’s lost eyes and mouth slightly agape.

“Anyways! I really need to get going now so I’ll see you around ‘kay?” You walked backwards until your hand reached the door handle and turned it. The moment you stepped out you practically ran down the steps, cheeks and ears red, still muttering curses quietly, and regretting all the decisions you made last night. 

And there Jake Sim stood, hopeless as ever, watching the second woman he’d ever had a one-night stand with leave running. Fun. 

Not to be full of yourself but you kinda had a reputation in Decelis, top ballerina, rich mother, the whole shebang. 

And well Jake on the other hand,

Me 

I think I just slept with Jake Sim

Kazuha Nakamura

EXCUSE ME 

Me

Yeah hahaha.. LISTEN I WAS DRUNK IDEK WHY I DID IT

Kazuha Nakamura 

SOCCER PLAYER JAKE SIM? THE FRAT BOY JAKE SIM? THE APPOINTED LOSER OF DECELIS SOCCER TEAM? ARE WE THINKING ABOUT THE SAME JAKE SIM HERE.

Me 

STOP YES THAT JAKE SIM. I KNOW i’m gonna kms 

Kazuha Nakamura 

Okay but was it good at least?

You paused, well it was good, but you shook your head remembering who you were talking about here. I mean it’s not like you and Jake were complete strangers, you went to high school with him, so yeah you knew Jake. But imagine the whiplash you got entering college realising you now attended the same school as Jake Sim the scrawny physics nerd, except now he was Jake Sim, star soccer player who grew up and gained some charisma. However, all you could see was teenage prepubescent Jake who used to rant about Einstein’s law of relativity. 

Yeah, not happening, you thought to yourself closing your phone as you headed into practise desperately hoping to drown out your memories of this morning with endless classical music and exercises. 

Jake however, was still sprawled out on his bed even though it had been hours since you left. Face buried into one of his hands while the other scrolled through your Instagram profile, occasionally letting out annoyed sighs before groaning into his hand. How the hell did he even manage to screw this up.

“Jake, get up. I’m starting to actually feel bad for you” Jay let out at the sight of his friend curled up in agony, watching him with a mixture of sympathy and disappointment painted on his face.

“Dude you don’t get it, she RAN.” Jake cried out loudly sinking even deeper into his bed 

“Okay, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad. Maybe she just was startled, and like seriously you couldn’t have been that horri-”

“The one-night stand isn't the problem, the problem is that it was YN!” 

From what Jake could remember you, L/N Y/N, were basically untouchable in high school. I mean head of the dance club, straight A student, and not to mention you were one of the prettier girls that attended school with him; you were practically on a pedestal. The one chance he had to interact with you when he was 1. Not drunk 2. Not surrounded by his friends giving him an extra boost of confidence, he blew it. 

“Okay, so it was YN? So what man, I think you’re overthinking this” Sunghoon chimed in from the back 

“Hey I mean, I think you’re judging the situation way too early dude. If I were you I would see this as an opportunity!” Heeseung declared as he pranced into Jake's room

Briefly looking up from his phone, Jake shot Heeseung a judgemental glare before asking with a scoff “Okay well, since you’re the self-proclaimed expert here, mind letting me in on what you mean by ‘opportunity’”

“Okay listen,” Heeseung said while sitting on the edge of Jake’s bed “Here's what you’re gonna do: you’re gonna go up to her, start small talk, then you’re gonna ask her if you guys wanna do something casual-”

“Are you seriously suggesting I ask a girl to be friends with benefits after she RAN out on me” Jake screeched throwing his pillow at Heeseung (who thankfully caught it) 

“Hey let me finish!” He replied tucking the pillow under his arms “Yeah ask for something casual, and if she was so embarrassed and humiliated as you claim she’d reject you outright, but if not you get a casual fling with a cool girl. What’s not to love?” 

“Maybe the part where this whole thing is stupid, ” Jake grumbled, adjusting himself to sit upright to face Heeseung “, and why would I listen to you exactly?”

“Because a) as you said I am the expert,” Heeseung said before tossing the pillow under his arms back at Jake “and b) you genuinely need to gain some experience talking to girls. And this gives: you said experience, no strings attached!”

Jake leaned back on his headboard sighing to look up at the ceiling. God this was stupid, Heeseung seriously just wanted to make a fool out of him. How much experience did Jake seriously need, couldn’t he do that without this whole thing? I mean he had plenty of other girls to talk to right? Well…wrong. I mean, you couldn’t be that embarrassed, could you? What other chances did he have, hell this was the second person he’d ever slept with since entering college (an astounding fact even to Jake). Was it worth a shot? 

“Fine.” Jake replied with a sigh. Fuck he was really doing this.

Closing the door behind you, your hands fiddled through your bag trying to find your pastel pink airpods, ready to blast music in your ears after a long chemistry exam. Putting them on, finger hovering over the play button, you were suddenly interrupted by a small tap on your shoulder. Turning around to see the one person you were trying to avoid all week, Jake fucking Sim.

“Oh Jake, I didn’t know you took chem?” 

“Yeah, I didn’t, well last year I didn’t…but I had to bump up my GPA a bit so I thought chem would be easy enough. But it’s,” Jake replied looking up and recalling the questions of that harrowing exam he just took “Yeah it’s ass.”

You let out a slight chuckle, well he’s funny at least. “Yeah, that test was not my best work…”  

Jake grinned at your comment, speeding up a bit to match your pace. “Hey wanna go grab some coffee?” His words laced with nervousness “I’ll pay! Well, I was the one who suggested it so I really should be paying, shouldn’t I… Anyway, my treat.”

And that’s how you found yourself seated across from Jake sipping an iced americano, legs crossed, looking around awkwardly, in dead silence. 

Jake had tried to start some small talk but was met with nothing but concise and quick answers from you. Fuck you Lee Heeseung, he mentally cursed. “So..” he awkwardly started “How was your weekend?” 

“I think you know how my weekend went Jake” you said in between sips 

“Oh, right.” Jake said remembering how it was just this Sunday when you booked it out of his apartment. “Uh about that-”

He could barely finish his sentence before you rushed to reply “I thought we weren’t going to bring that up”

“Yeah but-” 

“Listen, Jake” you let out with a sigh, placing your drink down on the table in front of you “You’re like, a nice guy and all. But I just really really can’t do relationships right now, like I’ve got a lot going on with ballet- seriously my mom is on my fucking ass about recitals…”

You realised you were rambling and looked down after briefly pausing “Anyway, you’re seriously great. I’m just not looking for anything serious right now an-”

“Me neither” Jake cut in nonchalantly while nodding diplomatically and taking a sip of his drink

“Yeah, an- wait what?”

“I mean, I’m not looking for anything at the moment either. That night was nice, I had fun” Jake explained while fiddling with the paper wrapper of his straw “And if you haven’t noticed I kinda don’t have a lot going on with me right now” 

You took a moment to register what he just said before deadpanning “Are you trying to use me for sex.” 

“What no!” Jake exclaimed a bit louder than he realised, making a few heads turn “Um, no I’m not. Seriously. I’m not a douche, I’m just…I don’t know how to really- talk. To women at least… I was hoping, well I was told, having casual hookups would fix that. Like, exposure therapy, I guess?” 

This man seriously did not just describe hooking up with you as exposure therapy. 

“You can totally decline! I was just suggesting it because a friend told me to, oh wait fuck you didn’t want anyone to know. Sorry, Jay, Heeseung, and Sunghoon know…I seriously didn’t mean to tell them it just slipped out and- yeah sorry. Uh well, Heeseung suggested it so…” Jake rambled on with his hand absently reaching for the nape of his neck, only to be met with your blank expression, mouth slightly agape, and iced americano in hand. God your face was practically a human adaptation of the Windows error screen. 

“Ummm” you trailed off playing around with the straw in your drink. Well nobody’s ever asked you to be friends with benefits, so your brain was admittedly still buffering. “Don’t you think it’s a little…weird? I mean we’ve known each other since high school, like granted we didn’t talk but- yeah you know? And like I’ve just, never done this before. Like ever.” 

“I mean I haven’t either,” Jake paused to put down his drink “Worth a shot though right?” 

Jesus Christ were you seriously going to be friends with benefits with the physics nerd? You mentally weighed out the pros and cons of his little proposal. It wasn’t like the last time was bad or anything, you just couldn't shake off the image of sixteen-year-old him at the back of the physics classroom playing with the Newton’s cradle while your teacher lectured on about waves. Recalling this you looked up at Jake sitting in front of you right now, he still had the same face but his features matured, his body was more built (probably all the training) and you couldn’t deny that even with him nervously picking at his fingernails…he definitely did grow up well. 

“I’ll-” you said with a slight sigh “I’ll get back to you on it Jake.”

“You’ll get back to him on it?! What is this a corporate meeting?” Your roommate Zuha said in between handfuls of chips.

Eyes shifting to the side to snap a dirty glare at her, you sighed in frustration before joining her atop your lofted bed. Kazuha and you were complete opposites: she was arguably way more bold than you and had an impressive list of friends spanning across the three different universities that neighboured Decelis. To be honest meeting her when you were six at ballet lessons might have been the sole reason you were able to get through university with a thankfully active social life. Truly you didn’t think your bond over Ever After High dolls would take you so far; but there you were in your second year of university, lounged across your mattress while she berated you for your lacking conversational skills.

“Hey! I was trying to be polite for your information,” you defended whilst burying your head into your pillows 

“I mean why not?” Zuha asked with indifference 

“Oh I don’t know, maybe because we went to high school together, he was and still is a huge dork, and he’s Jake Sim. Yeah just a thought.” you snapped back while digging your hands deeper into Kazuha’s bag of chips

“Well to me those all sound like pros.” she had reached in to grab a fistful of chips before munching on them between sentences, “Plus what’s the big deal, you hooked up once why can’t you do it again” she asked, tugging away the bag from you as it reached near emptiness. 

God you wished it was that easy. You sometimes envied how little she thought of things. 

“Yeah, I guess…” your hands reach for the ends of your hair, twisting them around your fingertips. “Okay but how do I even get back to him on it?” 

“Yeah well your first mistake was responding with that, but like just text him? We’re not living in the fucking 19th century, sms exists.”

“Yeah okay, am I just supposed to send ‘Hi Jake! So after much consideration, I am now getting back to you on it! And yes I would totally love casually fucking you xoxo yn!!’” you replied sarcastically 

“Okay, you know that’s not what I mean. If you’ve got the general premise down, just send it. Not like you’re opposed to it so…” Zuha said handing you your phone with her Calbee chip dust-covered fingers. 

Taking the phone and wiping the grime off, you opened your chat with Jake. Typing and retyping over and over again trying to form the perfect message your finger hovered over the send button while you battled your internal warfare. 

Too immersed in the constant back and forth fogging your mind you failed to stop Zuha from taking the phone from your grasp and sending the message for you.

“KAZUHA NAKAMURA. UNSEND THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW” you frantically cried out ripping the phone from her hands, you scrambled for the unsend button but were disappointingly greeted with a notification at the top of your screen. 

Jake Sim (Hookup)

Cool! So this Friday?

What the hell did you just get yourself into

Sure enough, Friday came and you found yourself stretched across Jake Sim’s bed dressed in one of his oversized shirts. God, you didn’t think you would be here again. Mindlessly scrolling through Instagram while Jake pulled a grey hoodie over his body before adjusting himself next to you, subtly inviting you to lay your head on his shoulder. (Obviously, you didn’t get the hint)

Putting down your phone to the side, your hands reached to fidget with the seams of his sleeves. 

“Do you-” you were cut off by the embarrassingly loud rumble of your stomach.

“Oh, are you hungry?” Jake glanced down, eyes widened and head slightly cocked to the left. 

“Um, kinda..” you responded, god wasn’t he supposed to be the awkward one. 

“Do you want some ramen?” He said propping himself a bit more before mentally cussing at himself realising the implication of his words “I mean, not in like- that way. Well I guess kinda in that way, we did just-”

“Ramen sounds great!” you quickly cut in before he could finish his sentence, ripping the comforters off your bodies already heading towards the door. 

To your surprise, Jake Sim was a pretty good cook. Well, that was a bit of an exaggeration considering it was just Chapaguri and steak, but hell was that one good bowl of Chapaguri. Spooning the noodles into your mouth, Jake placed a cut of steak onto your plate. Weird. That was, thoughtful. Probably a force of habit you reasoned to yourself. 

“So um can I ask,” you paused to wipe your mouth “Am I seriously the only other girl you’ve slept with, or is you sleeping with only 1 person before me just a rumour?”

Jake’s arm stretched towards the nape of his neck while the other placed another piece of steak onto your plate before answering. “Uh, I mean in college, yeah. I haven’t had much luck seeing too many people. Kinda the reason you’re here” 

“Well I guess that’s not too surprising” 

“Oh yeah?” Jake asked tauntingly leaning back into his chair “What’s that supposed to mean hm?”

“I’m just saying I’m not surprised that the dude who spent his free periods researching Quantum mechanics can’t pull.” you teased back with a sly smile 

“Uh-huh,” he replied putting another piece of food onto your plate “Well I’ll have you know I managed to hook up with at least like- 2 people in high school” 

“Yeah and I don’t do ballet.” you came back snarkily 

“Hey! I can even list them for you if you don’t believe me.” Jake chuckled slightly while adjusting the collar of his hoodie

“Yeah, and I bet it was real hard remembering that list of 2 people” Laughing in response Jake reached for a can of coke before opening it and placing it in front of you.

Again, weird. As you got talking you realised Jake Sim maybe wasn’t as awkward or dorkish as everyone claimed him to be. Okay well partly your fault for believing assumptions and jumping to conclusions, but after the initial nerves wore down he was pretty chill. Which led you to wonder, “Hey why don’t you talk to girls? I mean you’re pretty much a natural at this.” 

“Oh.” Jake replied a bit flattered, “Well, I don’t think I’m a natural, like when I tried to talk with Minyoung after we hooked up it was a mess.” hands now fiddling with the skin at his fingertips, “I guess with you it’s sorta, comfortable?” 

Your actions came to an instant halt, comfortable? You shook it off thinking it was because you guys knew each other beforehand, yeah definitely that. 

“So you did manage to get with one of the gymnastic girls.” you said trying to divert the topic

“Well not really, she kinda ghosted me after that..” Jake answered looking down at the marble countertop

“Why?” 

“Well as you said, I can’t really pull” you giggled in response while still forking down mouthfuls of chapaguri 

“Hey, don’t laugh with your mouth full.” Jake scolded before taking his thumb to wipe the corner of your mouth, an action you once again brushed off to be a force of habit. Still, you couldn’t deny, if you actually did like Jake in that way you would’ve folded instantly.

He smiled slightly and ruffled your hair before taking your empty bowl and beginning to wash it, weird.

Hooking up with Jake became more natural and common as time went on, it somewhat integrated itself into your routine:

Hook up, go eat, then go about your separate ways. 

Over time you got to know Jake more and more, past his initially dorky interests you learned a few things about him: 

He was a huge dog lover - similarly to you - and had a golden retriever named Layla 

He was surprisingly funny, if he got comfortable with you at least 

Despite being awkward as fuck, he was way more extroverted than you. He just needed to be around one of his friends for that to shine through.

He wasn’t called a star soccer player for nothing, you’d initially never expected scraggly little Jake Sim to win so many medals and trophies in high school. No wonder he got in with a scholarship.

It wasn’t like Jake told you these things outwardly, but you never failed to catch onto how his eyes had a slight glimmer within them when describing his ‘best friend’ who you later found out to be his childhood pet. Or how whenever there was a short silence between you two he took it as an opportunity to crack a small joke. And you knew on a surface level that Jake was a pretty friendly guy, but you just never realised how long his social battery truly lasted; that man had a motor mouth. The soccer thing however was something you always had a slight clue about, in high school most of his lunch breaks and evenings after school would be spent in the field with Jay, Heeseung, and Sunghoon. Back then you assumed he didn’t have anything better to do, so the numerous medals that spanned across the walls of his room were a bit of a shock to you. 

But it’s not like you cared about Jake like that, you were just…observant. 

Jake was nice, it was fun being his friend but you didn’t go out of your way to try and hang out with Jake in real life. Really, it’s not like you guys were close like that. Neither of you bothered to try and cross that boundary, that was until today at least.

“Hey.” Jake said, smiling as he sat down in front of you. Your eyes faltered from their usual unbothered gaze, your pupils dilating a bit in shock. Hell, there are around 200 other seats in the athlete’s dining hall, yet he had to sit in front of you.

Maybe your pastel pink Lululemon jacket was the drawing point, probably so bright it made you the first person he noticed making him sit with you out of convenience, at least you would like to tell yourself that. “Oh, hi Jake. Uh- don’t you have practice? I mean usually I never see you at the dining hall when I come to eat” You slowly realised how stalker-ish that sounded “not like. I’m tracking your schedule or anything like that. don’t get the wrong idea”

Jake let out a breathy laugh in hopes of breaking the awkward tension surrounding the table (he remained unsuccessful) “Yeah, uh practice got cancelled. So I’m here earlier than expected.”

“Cool cool” you let out nonchalantly. And there you were back to square one, the same awkward tension overwhelming the atmosphere. God how could you be this awkward with a guy you basically had a bi-weekly fuck schedule with. “So uh, you going to Soobin’s party this weekend? the whole soccer team is gonna be there, including me” he said the last part in almost a whisper.

“Oh uh, I haven’t really thought about it. Kazuha is going, so I’ll probably go with” You replied still staring down at your measly plate of japchae, barely touched. “Uh I think I should go study-” you frantically said in an exasperated sigh in hopes to remove herself from any more unwanted conversation starters you would have to pull out of her ass.

“But you haven’t even touched your food?” Jake said clearly not getting the hint. But also he was genuinely worried, I mean yeah typically soccer players and ballerinas' diets are obviously different with their portion sizes, but he still took health very seriously. “I’m not that hungry anyway.” you said slowly getting up to leave

“Wait, do you do this often? skip meals?” Jake asked, his eyes glazed over with a concerned expression, one you hadn’t seen before.

“Oh I mean, most times it's not intentional, I get busy with practice”

“Hold on” Jake muttered before getting up and heading outside. Leaving you haphazardly standing up holding your plate of food. You sat down again poking at the unfinished scraps of carrots, “This man cannot take a hint” you muttered. 

Jake then returned pocky and Pocari sweat in hand. “Uh here, it’s good for electrolytes” he said while handing you the bottle “Oh and, eat this after practice or something, you need carbs and sugar”. Slightly taken aback you slowly took both items in hand, a slight warmth forming in the pits of your stomach. “oh you didn’t really have to-”

“I wanted to.” Jake replied cutting you off, suddenly embarrassed at his boldness he absently reached to the nape of his neck (a habit you noticed he did when he was flustered) “Uh anyways, I’ve gotta go to office hours now. But try not to skip meals, it’s not that good for you, you’re an athlete so..” he trailed off mumbling the last bits to himself, all while looking down to the floor. The weird tension in the air was still there but, somehow it was a little more bearable, well for you at least. “Thanks, uh I’ll pay you back-”

“Don’t bother!” he scrambled to say shooting his head up, pushing your approaching hand back. Fuck that reply was way too quick. “Uh, it’s on me! Don’t worry about it really.” slowly backing away he failed to notice how his legs seemed to trample over each other almost knocking himself down. He (thankfully) regained his balance “Bye YN!”

Blinking in what you think is a mixture of disbelief, amusement, and confusion you managed to mutter out a small “Thank you”

Safe to say that interaction left you both pretty embarrassed.

Most times you went to Jake's house it usually ended in lighthearted conversations over a plate of food. However, some nights were just spent as the two of you lay in his bed looking up at his ceiling talking about everything and anything; these were the nights you found yourself enjoying the most. Tonight luckily happened to be one of them. 

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask,” Jake said before settling down next to you “Have you seriously never had a friend with benefits before?” 

“Hm? Why do you ask?” you said before moving to lay between Jake’s legs, head resting upon his thigh. 

“Ah you know, Just curious” He replied looking down at you with a slight smile. Did his eyes always look that pretty?

“No actually, I wasn’t really one for keeping a casual relationship with one person for a long time. I got bored too quickly, not that I’m bored of you. I did have a lot of hookups though, those were a bit more fun” you replied; a small smile formed across your face while recalling nostalgic high school memories. 

“That’s interesting…” you noticed a slight hesitation lingering in his words. 

“Why d’you sound so confused huh” Gently nudging his thigh you laughed. 

“Nothing nothing! I just, you know, didn’t really expect that from you. I don’t know in high school you were kinda- perfect? Like the captain of the dance team, student council secretary, and straight-A student; not to mention you were practically already on the road to Decelis with a scholarship. I didn’t really expect you to…”

“What, be a whore?” you butted in jokingly 

Jake’s hand reached out to run through your hair, grinning softly before responding “You know that’s not what I meant.” 

Chuckling in response your hands reached to fiddle with the ends of your hair. “Kidding, I get what you mean though. I - well my mom - tried hard to keep up the good girl act. But I was a teenager with the whole house to myself and a huge lack of self-discipline so…yeah”

“Was your mom never really there or…” Jake asked looping your hair around his fingers, shit was that too invasive?

Thankfully you responded whilst twiddling with the hem of your (well his) t-shirt. “Uh, no not really, I guess. Well, she was there, but just always working” Jesus why were you telling him this shit, not like you wanted to it was all just kinda- spilling out. “I mean I don’t hold it against her, it’s literally the reason I got to do ballet and attend this school in the first place”

“But?” Jake asked expectantly. Fuck why was he asking you this shit? Did he seriously think trauma dumping would fill the void of intimacy you two shared? 

“No I mean there isn’t really a but- well there kinda is. I don't know, it gets kinda lonely…only child and all. But I know she did it all for my own good, she knows what's best for me” the last part coming out a bit strained, “I just was kinda on my own for a while I guess… that’s probably why she signed me up for ballet classes when I was younger”

“Oh, she was the one who signed you up?”

“Yeah, she was, actually!” voice slightly perking up as you recalled fond memories of six year old you lacing up your first ballet flats, “When I was younger I loved dancing so ballet kinda came naturally to me I guess, but yeah ballet was really fun” 

“Was?” Jake inquired curiously, his head tilting down to meet his glossy eyes with yours. 

“Oh well, I guess it is still kinda fun- but like as I got better at it there seemed to be more expectations from people. It gets kinda stressful you know” you replied with a slight chuckle, hands picking at the skin on your fingers. “It’s partly my fault for not wanting to practise so much anymore, but sometimes it's hard not to notice every little mistake I make when dancing.”

“Well,” Jake began before taking your hand in his and lacing your fingers together “, I think you’re doing just fine. Trust me I’ve never seen a better dancer than you, like you’re seriously amazing”

You giggled slightly while staring at his hand intertwined with yours. Funny, you didn’t think he’d notice that.

“You sure you’re not lying about the whole bitchless thing? Because this,” you said while gesturing to his hand holding yours “, totally not bitchless behaviour” 

“Hey, I never said I was bitchless! Just no girlfriend you know.” Jake laughed nervously , becoming all too aware of his actions. He slowly lets go of your hand. A slight blush formed across his face before he cleared his throat to ask “So what about you, no boyfriend?” 

“Well, I did have one or two. But as I said, I get bored easily” you answered, still twiddling the hem of your shirt “I dumped both of them, not like there was anything wrong with the relationship- I just kinda have this bad habit of running from things when I notice something just slightly goes wrong. Yeah, it’s stupid really I don’t know why I do it.” Trailing off you slowly became aware that you were crossing the imaginary line you established between you and Jake. Wait, what the fuck were you saying? Why were you telling him this? You didn’t tell anyone this shit. No way Jake Sim, the dude who you were casually hooking up with, was going to be the first person you let in on your issues. Nah, not happening. 

“Um anyway! Maybe I should get going now, you have practice anyways.” you sighed, frantically getting up and grabbing your clothes. 

“Oh uh, yeah sure…” Jake said slightly startled, his hand reaching for the back of his neck and scratching it while he tried to look the other way as you changed in front of him (not like his head was in between your thighs a few seconds ago)

He walked you out to the doorway of his apartment, keeping a somewhat awkward distance between you guys as he waved while watching you walk out. 

“Bye!” he called out delayed, giving you a slight jump. 

“Oh, bye!” you said awkwardly facing him, immediately turning back around to  speed walk down the hallway.

For some reason even though you had already left he couldn’t get rid of this slight buzz in his stomach, his heart racing ever so slightly while he felt his cheeks heat up. Fuck I’m an idiot, Jake sighed to himself.

“What do you think? Too much?” you asked Kazuha whilst standing in front of her to show off your outfit. You were trying to dress out of your comfort zone by switching up your usual white tank and low-waisted jeans combo to a black tube top paired with a leather miniskirt. 

“You look the same YN.” your roommate replied stoically “And what are you so nervous for anyways? What, is it because Jake is picking you up?” she added between snickers. 

“What no!” you rushed to respond “And might I remind you that the only reason he’s picking me up is because you ditched on me last minute.” 

“Heyyy, I told you I was sorry! But Yunjin won’t be in Korea for much longer and I promised to have a sleepover with her before she leaves!” Kazuha whined in a pout “Promise, next time I get invited to a party you’re number 1 on my waitlist. I swear” 

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m the only one on that waitlist right now.” you muttered before reaching for your phone after noticing a notification popping up on your screen. 

Jake Sim (Hookup)

Hey I’m waiting outside btw! Also, I brought a jacket just in case you were cold but I realised you might bring your own so uh

Jake Sim (Hookup)

don’t bring a jacket lmao

You smiled to yourself slightly after reading that, to which your roommate seemed to catch.

“Oh lover boy here already hm?” she teased in a playful tone. “Ew god don’t call him that.” you deadpanned before heading out the door. 

Now in all honesty you were perfectly fine with going to the party yourself, Soobin’s apartment happened to be a 15-minute walk away from campus and it’s not like the area was relatively unsafe. However, Jake insisted that he pick you up and drop you off, saying something along the lines of it weighing down on his conscience. You can’t say you weren’t thankful to see him jacket in hand and waiting for you in front of the doors to your dorm after you were unpleasantly greeted by the bitter wind blowing in your face. Totally just grateful for the jacket, no other reason. 

The walk there was filled with the usual lighthearted jokes and updates on your days, nothing new. You grew to truly enjoy these moments with just you and him, it somewhat felt like it was just the two of you and time stopped. It was nice, you never had someone to listen to you the way he did. However, the peaceful moment shared between you two vanished the minute you stepped into Soobin’s apartment. For a while you forgot that Jake Sim, though being called a dork by half the campus, was still a frat boy and admittedly pretty popular. So imagine the whiplash you got when he was immediately dragged away by Jay, Yuna, and Soobin before he could even say goodbye to you. Not like you cared though, you had plenty of other friends.

A couple of hours had passed and the ‘other friends’ in question seemed to disappear one by one as the night went on. Which is how you winded up in Soobin’s living room on the couch, beer in hand whilst scrolling through TikTok. That was before you heard someone clear their throat. Looking up you were met with Lee Heeseung standing in front of you, head cocked slightly to the side. 

“Hey YN, mind if I sit?” he didn’t really wait for your response before plopping himself right next to you.

“Oh, hey Heeseung” you muttered, eyes not leaving your phone. You had talked to Heeseung a couple of times before when you went to meet up with Jake, but you wouldn’t really consider yourself besties with the guy who was the sole reason Jake had even offered to hook up with you. 

“What’s up, are you bored? I assume you didn’t come here to scroll TikTok alone.” He joked with a quick chuckle. 

“Yeah well I would leave but Jake insisted on taking me back home so it feels kinda rude to leave without him. And he’s obviously very,” you shot your head up to glare at the sight of Jake chatting it up with Jay, Yuna, and Ryujin. What happened to the whole ‘bad at talking to girls’ thing now huh? You scoffed before completing your sentence with a grimace “Preoccupied.”

Heeseung seemed to catch onto your change of tone as the next thing he said was, “Don’t worry Jake’s normally just chatty like this when he’s got one of us around, he really really can’t talk to girls otherwise. Well, obviously not you though, actually he can’t shut up about you.” 

Your head perked up at Heeseung's comment “What do you mean?” 

“I mean, the guy can’t stop talking about you even when you’re gone. Like telling us about how cool your recitals looked, your favourite foods, what you guys did that day, hell he brings you into practically anything it’s kinda annoying. ‘Oh YN loves that drink’ ‘Oh can you buy one for YN too?’ ‘Hey, this is YN’s favourite song!’ ‘Hey don’t touch that, it's for YN’” Heeseung said in a mocking tone, his hands coming up to mimic small puppets pretending to be Jake.

“Really? You’re probably exaggerating, me and Jake aren’t even that close.” you commented

“Trust me YN, you don’t live with that guy. I feel like I’m even in on your whole friends-with-benefits situation by how much I know about you. Seriously I think he's obsessed-” 

“What’cha guys talking about!” you were too engrossed in your conversation you hadn’t noticed that Jake had left Jay and his friends to come join you. 

You shot a glare at him before tilting your head down at your drink “Oh you know, just keeping myself entertained” you replied before whipping your head up “Since you were obviously, pretty busy.”

Before Jake could defend himself, Soobin drunkenly called out from the kitchen “Hey guys! Who wants to play spin the bottle!” his words slurred as he held up an empty beer can. 

Great, drunk college students and spin the bottle, what could go wrong? 

Hesitantly you and Jake made your way to the circle formed on the floor sitting across from each other while everyone else gathered in.

“Okay, so the rules are: you kiss or you drink. Three shots worth of soju may I mention! Who wants to go first?” Soobin asked gesturing to the bottle

“Oooh me me me!” Yuna replied eagerly before placing the bottle down and spinning it, landing on Jisung. One after the other everyone took turns spinning the bottle whilst the rest of the crowd let out shouts and claps of encouragement. You frankly thought this whole thing was stupid. I mean, spin the bottle? What was this a cheesy highschool movie? The bottle eventually reached Karina, she took it in hand and spun it vigorously.

Karina, god how could you even begin to describe Karina? Yoo Karina was top of her class in rhythmic gymnastics, led the student body org, and not to mention was absolutely drop. dead. gorgeous. You concluded in your mind that anyone who got to kiss that woman would be the luckiest person on earth, but that was before the bottle landed on Jake. 

“Well pucker up loser” Karina said before moving towards Jake to grab his face and press her lips onto his. You tried to cheer and clap with the rest of the group but you couldn’t ignore the dreadful feeling of your heart dropping to the floor. Pulling away from Karina, you couldn’t brush off how Jake’s eyes immediately came into contact with yours causing your pupils to dilate slightly before you shot your head down to the ground. 

Why the hell did you even care this much, wake up YN! It’s Jake, so he kissed another girl, who cares? You guys aren’t even exclusive, pull yourself together! You quickly shook off the awful feeling in the pit of your stomach and joined in with the others chanting “Spin, spin, spin!” as Jake whirled the bottle around with a quick flick of the wrist.

The bottle seemed to spin in slow motion before coming to a reaching its delayed halt and pointing directly at you. Oh fuck. 

You braced yourself for the awkward aftermath of the kiss you were bound to face later tonight, god how were you even supposed to face Jake after this? I mean yeah you guys had sex, but you would argue kissing is far more intimate. Your gaze lingered on jake and you watched how his eyes widened in anticipation, his hand again reaching to the nape of his neck absently while the other grabbed the red solo cup and-

Wait what, Jake was taking the drink?

Let it be known that Jake Sim had an infamous reputation of never drinking at parties, for a while people thought he was heavily religious; until it was revealed by sunghoon that in highschool Jake was unexpectedly a huge party animal and no one could possibly keep him away from a beer. Getting into college, he apparently tried to drop the heavy drinking and decided to take his athlete career more seriously. If you were to take Jake's drink at a party you would find either 1 of 3 things: coke zero, a mixture of random fruit juices from a punch bowl that 80% of the party did not touch, or kombucha (surprising to say the least). Yet there he was, drinking about 3 shots worth of soju all in one go. All to avoid kissing you. great.

A pit formed in your stomach as the loud chants seemed to die down, somehow this made you feel like the world's biggest loser. Was kissing you that bad? Hell he was in between your thighs half the time but he would rather drink than kiss you? Why didn’t he kiss you? Why did you want him to kiss you?

Jake let out a slight groan after downing the drink whole, the circle erupted into laughs and whoas but he could only focus on the one person who hadn’t said anything, the one person who was staring straight at him in what Jake could only assume was a mixture of disbelief and anger. Fuck, this totally did not go to plan. Why was she mad? I mean you didn’t say you were mad, but the look in your eyes somewhat gave it away. Jake thought the last thing you wanted to do was kiss him, I mean this whole time you would preach about how you guys were strictly casual and how you wanted nothing to do with him romantically. Jake thought he would save you the trouble, and partly save himself from the prolonged silences on the walk back to your dorm. It’s not like he didn’t benefit from this too I mean, Jake totally could go without kissing you. It’s not like it was a piece of intimacy your “relationship” lacked, not like it was the one thing he’d been longing for. Yep, totally not. 

You broke the gaze abruptly when you soon realised how long you’d been staring. Fuck did he notice? He definitely did. Your eyes now fixated on the floor while he stared off awkwardly to the side.

“Your turn YN!” Yuna cheerfully said handing her the bottle, her breath reeked of alcohol it was making you dizzy.

“Uh I think I’ll skip, I’ve had enough drinks for tonight” you replied, accompanied by a nervous chuckle. God, why was the room suddenly spinning? “As a matter of fact,” you quickly got up from your position slowly moving away from the circle, “I think I need to use the bathroom, I’ll sit out this round, you guys can continue though”

“Okay!” Yuna responded, obviously she was too wasted to notice the hesitation lingering in your voice.

You quickly stole a glance at the group behind, more so at the man you were sitting across from a minute ago. Lo and behold, Jake was laughing hazily and chanting encouragements with the others as Ryujin and Hyunjin messily made out. His eyes had a shine which was all too familiar to you, his grin was one you recognised countless times before, and to your dismay: he was completely unaffected by the whole situation.

Great, so he couldn’t give less of a fuck. You thought to yourself. Normally this would be a relief to you, I mean you said yourself you wanted something casual, but if that was the case why did you feel so embarrassingly hollow and empty inside?

You groggily stumbled away from the corner of the room and headed over to the kitchen, maybe a drink would drown out the noises of them chanting “Kiss kiss kiss” Pft, what are they grade schoolers? You snatched a red solo cup and started pouring whatever alcohol was closest in reach, vodka, tequila, soju, beer, you did not give a fuck. You downed the drink whole, slightly gasping for air as you polished it off. Grabbing for another bottle, your hands seemed to meet another. Looking up to see who had a shared interest in… absolut vodka? God you hated that shit, but well right now it seemed tolerable, however you were greeted by the disappointing sight of none other than: Seunghan.

God what was Seunghan doing here, he didn’t even fucking go here. To give some context, Seunghan happened to be your last boyfriend; a senior you used to date who at the time was a huge ego boost to you since you were a year younger. But you inevitably broke up with him before he left for university, even though you promised you would try and make things work long distance. Hell who were you kidding, staying with a highschool senior as a college freshman? Who would want to do that? The last excuse you could spit back at his pathetic face while ending things was “You aren’t even a good fuck” safe to say that bruised his ego a bit.

“Hey YN” he looked at you with an expression you can only make out as: egoistic. You wanted to smack that smug grin off his face, but you weren’t really the one with the upper hand here. I mean who wouldn’t smirk at the sight of their highschool ex absolutely fucking hammered at a college party.

“Hi” you replied coldly, his grip on the alcohol bottle slightly loosened, which you took as an opportunity to snatch out of his hand and pour yourself another drink (probably double of what you were originally planning to pour)

“So,” He paused for a second waiting for you to finish drinking “How's it going, what are you doing here?”

“I kinda go here.” you said in between sips “and shouldn’t I be asking you that, you don’t even go to Decelis.”

“Well someone’s hostile” he let out a chuckle, face still smug “Ah yeah, my friend Soobin, actually invited me. Swim team captain, ring a bell?”

“That's nice Seunghan” your face obviously painted that you didn’t really think so. You started to slowly make your way to the bathroom, not knowing how much longer you could stand being in the same proximity of this asshole.

“Is that it?” Seunghan called out expectantly. What the hell did this man want jesus. You could feel your anger just about boiling over, that and the 4 cups of alcohol in your system just about tipped you over the edge”

“What the hell do you want, Seunghan? An apology? You see me after what 2 years and expect to coax an apology out of me? Yeah not happening. I don’t even know what you’re doing here because clearly last time I checked you didn’t go to Decelis. So yeah, I don’t really know what you want from me but if it's an apology or something, sorry to disappoint.”

“Woah woah, calm down there” Seunghan said, arms up seeming to gesture he meant no harm, the smirk on his face displayed otherwise.

You were ready to spit out another insult at him, maybe add a punch into the mixture, until a pair of hands gently grabbed your shoulder. You whipped your head backwards to see Jake smiling awkwardly at Seunghan and scratching the back of his head nervously. “Sorry about that, she's kinda drunk right now so I think we’ll get going!”

You want to retort back that you aren't, but before doing so Seunghan cuts you off “who are you again.” 

Instead of the smug grin that adorned his face earlier, a weirdly serious expression was now plastered across him. Weird. Was he trying to assert dominance or something? You giggled to yourself a bit at the idea, slowly looking up at Jake to see what his response was. Maybe they would have a standoff, battle it out like in the movies. Instead a grin was still shining on his face, except something was off. His gaze looked harsher, juxtaposing the warm smile on the lower half of his face. Something behind his eyes signalled that he wasn’t going to take any bullshit, funny you thought. You weren't used to seeing this side of Jake, it was an amusing sight to say the least.

“Jake her,” he hesitated for a second “boyfriend. But I don’t think that matters really, I've gotta get YN home now” He quickly grabbed your wrist to lead you away and out the door, seemingly a bit too quick that it had you stumbling over your steps, or maybe that was the alcohol talking.

“Woww, look at that you can actually stick up for yourself! You know that was kinda funny, what were you trying to assert dominance or something? Thanks for saying you were my boyfriend though, god I don’t think he would be able to leave me alone otherwise” you said in between chuckles whilst shutting the door behind you, but jake remained silent. Weird, was he just drunk too? 

It’s not like you weren't used to the silence, hell it’s what took up most of your conversations (well lack of conversation more like). You remained quiet until the both of you got back to your dorm, you were weirdly too intimidated to say anything. Not intimidated by him, god no. More so the situation, you’d been used to the awkward silence, the post sex silences, the comfortable silences, but this was a different silence, one you weren’t really sure how to react towards. Once in your dorm, Jake finally said something to break the tension.

“Who was that guy?” he asked, gaze averted down to the floor and hand absently reaching for the nape of his neck, there he goes again you think. ”Seunghan,” you said while pulling over your tube top to change into an oversized shirt, which you realised was one you stole from Jake a while back “, just some ass I dated in highschool, doesn’t really matter.”

Jake's gaze was still stuck on the dorm carpet, his hand now picking at his cuticles. “Was he bothering you? I mean I couldn’t really tell but you looked uncomfortable, so like…yeah I don’t know”

You chuckled, cute you think. Wait fuck did you really just find what he did cute. Did you just fucking giggle. A flustered blush seems to form across your face whilst thinking of your actions. Get a grip YN it’s jake fucking sim, hes an awkward mess, an awkward mess you’re casually fucking. You can’t be doing this.

“Uh, I mean kinda. I was going to punch him so you probably saved me the collateral. Thanks though, it was nice” you said, tucking away your boots still facing away from him; embarrassed at the thought of you being the least bit flustered over his actions.

“Ah…” Jake trailed off. Fuck what was he meant to say now, well he knew what he wanted to say. He wanted to ask if it was weird that he called himself her boyfriend, but you didn’t seem to care so it would be weird if he brought it up now. I mean, not like he cared. a little white lie to save you some trouble, no biggie.

“Are you down to..” you asked nonchalantly, turning your head around to face him. He adorned his typical lost expression, god he was really clueless.

“You know, fuck.” you assumed it was the alcohol in your system talking, you were clearly very tipsy, that plus your pent up frustration from tonight was the perfect mixture for a good hookup. Or maybe you were just plain old horny, probably the case you thought to yourself. Definitely wasn’t the way Jake's hair was a perfect fluffy mess, or how his face seemed to have a slight glow to it (probably the drinks), or his eyes that were weirdly more iridescent than usual, yeah totally not that.

Jake's eyes widened a bit, taken aback by the request but definitely not surprised. “YN you’re drunk,” he said with a sigh, grabbing your shoulders and sitting you down on the edge of your mattress, “I'd love to but, maybe next time?” he said with a gentle grin, his dimples slightly poking out.

fuck was he leaving already? Before he could go any further you quickly grabbed his wrist. Jake, startled, looked back at you like a deer in headlights. Only to be met with an equally as shocked gaze, shit all this alcohol was making your body move before you could even think.

“Uh, can you just…” you wince a bit at the thought of what would come out next, “stay. Just until I fall asleep, I feel kinda…lonely?” The end came out in a mumble as your eyes laid fixated on the floor. A blush formed across Jake's face, but he quickly snapped himself out of whatever haze he was in. She’s drunk jake. It doesn't mean anything.

He plastered on the gentle grin that adorned his face earlier, smiling at her with endearment. “Alright, uhm just scoot over a bit”

Moving awkwardly to the side to make room for Jake on the bed he shortly joined you, adjusting himself next to you moving your head to atop his arm while the other pulled you in closer allowing him to rest his chin on top of your hair. Everything about this moment felt much too intimate to be shared between two people who were just casually fucking. You could feel your heartbeat slightly quicken and your breath hitching in your throat. However as time passed on you began to feel yourself slowly relax into Jake’s touch, allowing yourself to enjoy the feeling of his hand combing through your hair whilst the other reached to trace circles along the small of your back. His warmth next to you felt all too natural, like this was meant to be. Like you weren’t just two strangers who decided to hook up, like you two were everything and more.

“Sometimes I wish this was real” you sighed out, clearly letting the liquor in your system do the talking

“Don’t know how hammered you got but you’re definitely not dreaming right now YN.” Jake said in a low chuckle. Fuck you could listen to his laugh for ages. 

“Not this, I mean us.” 

“Oh.” Jake could feel his body go stiff as heat rushed up to his cheeks. He knew you were drunk, but some part of him hoped this was sober you. 

“You’re too sweet for me sometimes you know? Makes me wish you weren’t my friend and my boyfriend instead, then again don’t think I’m ready for that either. Well sometimes you make me feel like I’m ready, I don’t know, it's weird. Being with you feels so…natural? Like I’ve known you since we were kids- I guess we kinda have known each other for a while, makes me regret not talking to you enough in highschool. You were always pretty cute despite being a dork” rambling on you nuzzled your head closer to his chest. Fuck Jake was practically begging you couldn’t hear the intense racing of his heart. 

“How much did you drink YN?” he stuttered out

“Oh you know, just enough to make me forget everything about that party. Stupid Seunghan ruined my night. You know when you called yourself my boyfriend, yeah I really liked that, some part of me hoped you meant it. I guess I like you a little more than I expected, super stupid right…” you said trailing off as you fell further into your slumber; words slurred as a mixture of drunkenness and exhaustion took over your body.

“You like me?” Jake asked stunned, after garnering no response he tilted his head down slightly to face you. Your face looked so peaceful sleeping he didn’t have the heart to wake you up. How cute, he thought to himself.

“Goodnight YN.” he whispered before pulling you closer to him and dozing off himself. 

As the sun rose, beams of light made its way through the curtains to shine brightly on your face rudely waking you up. You slowly opened your heavy eyelids before stretching out your arms, only to be met with the shocking sight of Jake passed out next to you. 

Jolting up immediately, you had to do a double take to make sure you weren’t seeing things. Unfortunately this wasn’t a dream and you really did wake up next to Jake Sim, this being the second time you’ve done this with no recollection of what happened the night before. Frantically you tried to recall all the events that happened after Seunghan approached you; slowly but surely everything from last night rushed back to you in an instant, including your drunken confession to Jake. 

Fuck fuck fuck FUCK. What the hell was your issue? Why would you say all that? Jesus you seriously needed to stop drinking, you always ended up in Jake’s bed hungover. God could he have remembered anything that happened last night, he couldn't have right? He was probably drunk too, fuck you hoped he was drunk. 

“YN, you’re up already?” Jake said as his hand groggily rubbed his eyes, the other reaching over to your wrist. 

“Oh uh yeah!” you replied, face flushed with embarrassment before you quickly snapped your hand away from his touch “Hey this is weird but did I happen to say anything weird last night, I was like really drunk.” You winced expecting him to answer with a harsh reminder of your drunken words but instead he only uttered a small “Nope, not anything out of the ordinary”

Sighing in relief you let out a small thank god before getting up to go get dressed, Jake shortly following you like a lost puppy. Still yawning out and half asleep he groaned out a small “Hey, what time is it, by the way?” 

“Oh um,” you quickly grabbed your phone to check “9:30.”

Jakes seemed to immediately wake up, shouting “Oh fuck, I’m late!” He quickly grabbed his belongings before rushing out the door, before haphazardly rushing back in quickly to tell you “Uhm if you need Tylenol let me know I’ll go pick it up for you, bye YN gotta go!” 

Despite being in a rush, Jake was always so attentive towards you, something you were always grateful for; another habit you grew to love about him. 

“He's so sweet” you whispered under your breath to yourself before snapping your head up to face yourself in the mirror. Splashing water on yourself you pointed at your reflection before reminding yourself how badly this would end if you kept going on with this little crush. 

You do not like Jake Sim. You will not like Jake Sim. 

Days passed and after that night it was safe to say things got pretty awkward between you and Jake. You were in desperate hopes of avoiding him any chance you got, that of course was a lost cause as you guys still were hooking up every other week. However, you made it your mission to not interact with him outside of his apartment, not in classes, not in the gym, not at parties, nowhere. This seemed to be your brain's deluded way of trying to help you get over your crush on him. 

Jake on the other hand had a sense of why you were avoiding him, the whole drunken confession probably didn’t sit right with you. Jake didn’t really want to push it and force his way into your life if you weren’t comfortable, even though he desperately missed the days you spent every second together like best friends, he knew he wasn’t in a position to be complaining. But as time went on your missing presence began to eat away at Jake’s mind, he couldn’t take it anymore. 

Which is how he ended up rushing to move seats over to sit next to you when you entered the chemistry classroom. 

“Hey YN.”

“Oh, Jake hi…”

“You ready for today’s presentation?” he asked after noticing you diligently reading over your flashcards.

“Oh god no, I’m cooked.” you replied with a nervous laugh. 

“Don’t worry I’m sure you’ll do great, you always do.” Jake reassured with a warm smile. How did he always manage to say the right things? 

You flashed him a quick smile before whispering “Thank you.”

Sure enough a few minutes later you found yourself in front of the three hundred students in that lecture room trying not to stumble over your words as you presented about Electrochemistry. Everything was going fine at first, not to toot your own horn but you were pretty much guaranteed an easy A for this project. That was all until it came crumbling down. You stopped dead in your tracks as you felt a familiar warm feeling gathering between your thighs. Fuck, did you just get your period? 

“And u-uh, as I was saying…” you tried to continue the presentation and ignore the fact that your period was looming over you like the grim reaper, threatening to drip down your legs and publicly embarrass yourself in front of the whole class. 

The easy A you were so sure about now seemed out of reach as a lump formed in your throat while you stuttered with tears threatening to spill over your eyes. Quickly finishing up your half assed paragraph on Faraday’s law you bolted out the classroom the moment you were excused back to your seat. 

Rushing down the hall into the bathroom to clean yourself up, you were frustratingly met with the sight of blood stained jeans. Trying to pull down your shirt to hastily cover up the stain was no use, god out of all days to not bring an extra pad. Why did it have to be today? 

Sighing in agony you decided it would be a good idea to just head home instead of returning to class, hell you’d embarrassed yourself enough after that how could you even walk back into the lecture hall after that mess? 

Leaving the backroom with your head down and hand searching your bag hoping a spare pad would manage to appear out of thin air, you failed to notice Jake standing right in front of you (well that was until you bumped into him).

“YN, you okay?” his eyes graced with concern, oh so he’s still attentive as ever it seems. “Was it your presentation? I thought it was great-”

“I got my period.” you blurt out in a rush at the same time, eyes still stuck on the ground as you didn’t have the guts to face him right now “and like, yeah it's a mess so…I kinda just want to get home and change.” you finished with a frustrated sigh. 

“Ah I see” Jake replied before looking down to notice the dark patch on your jeans. 

Before you could go any further he wordlessly stripped off his hoodie before wrapping it around your waist. No words were spoken between you two but the tension arguably spoke much louder than words ever could. 

“I’ll come get it back later okay? Don’t worry about it” he said before knotting it a final time around your waist to secure it in place. 

“Oh, thank you Jake…” you mumbled 

“Hey YN.” he started, making you finally whip your head up to meet his eyes. His face detailed with hesitation, mouth slightly agape, eyes glossed over with doubt and hand again reaching for the nape of his neck nervously, “um, sorry it’s nothing actually- just uh, don’t be a stranger you know?” he continued with a slight shrug. So he did notice you distancing yourself. 

“Oh,” you stuttered, not really sure of what to reply with “alright…”

And with that you made your way back to the dorm, uncertainty lingering in the air around you following its way back to your dorm. Sprawling across your mattress you stared up at the ceiling lost in thought. This wasn’t going to end well. 

“YN you keep doing this!” your dance teacher snapped before banging a ruler on the metal bar in front of her. You flinched slightly as the loud bang rang through your ears before going to pause the music. 

“How many times do I have to remind you?” she let out in an exasperated sigh, fingers reaching up to pinch the bridge of her nose, “your legs aren’t straight and your feet aren’t pointed either! These are basic things even beginners could get, I expect more from you! What would your mother think, hm? She invested all this money in you just for you to fall short of your abilities. You’re my top student, you cannot be performing like this when the recital is just a few months away! Pull yourself together before I choose another person to take your place, lesson dismissed.” she bellowed out before storming out the classroom. Leaving you collapsed on the ground, face flushed with disappointment as you stared at your dishevelled reflection in the mirror. 

Fuck she was right, what were you doing? You should be better than this, why weren’t you improving? God your mom spent so much time and money on this and you were just letting her down, you couldn’t do anything right. You were becoming a bigger failure than you realised and you didn’t know how to stop it. How were you meant to be the perfect ballerina when you didn’t even know how to be the perfect daughter? You knew you were better than this but why couldn’t you live up to it. Why did you keep messing up?

Slowly tears began pouring out your eyes before the practice room was practically engulfed in your sobs. You however stopped your crying when you noticed the door crack open. 

“YN?” Jake murmured out with a worried look painted across his face, “what happened, what’s wrong?” he asked while rushing over to your side. 

“Oh Jake, god please don’t look I’m a mess right now” quickly you tried to wipe your tears and nervously laugh before Jake stopped you and took your hands in his. 

“YN, honestly I couldn’t care less about how you look right now. What’s wrong? Why are you crying hm?” His face had the same serious gaze from the party when he confronted Seunghan, “It’s okay, you can tell me.”

Hearing that you finally broke down sobbing as he pulled you in closer to his chest, hand running through your hair while whispering small words of comfort. “Jake I can’t do this anymore, I keep messing up in everything I do! I don’t know why I can’t just be the person everyone wants me to be, I’m a failure.” you cried out between sobs.

“Hey hey don’t say that, look at me.” he gently took your face in his hands before tilting it up to meet his gaze, “Okay so maybe you’re not the person everyone wants you to be, and hey maybe you aren’t perfect-”

“Not helping.” you deadpanned 

“Yeah well, I wasn’t done. Point is you’re not that but, you're YN. You’re exactly who you need to be right now, and you’re doing your best. Maybe that isn’t perfect but hey nobody’s perfect, you just keep such high standards for yourself you can never get a chance to breathe. It’s okay to make a few mistakes here and there, we all do, we’re only human. If it means anything, in my eyes you’re doing everything right. You’re perfect, okay YN?” 

This only made you sob harder into his chest. Jake wasn’t complaining though, he only brought you closer and tightened his grip around you. Hands still running through your hair to lull you back into a relaxed state. 

After finally calming down you wiped the remnants of tears on your face before loosening yourself from Jake’s embrace. Awkwardly laughing before asking “Uhm, why did you come here in the first place again?”

“Oh right that. I needed to get my hoodie back and Zuha said you’d be here, didn’t really expect to see you crying all alone though” he commented with a quick chuckle 

“Oh shit yeah,” you said before reaching over to your bag to try and find his hoodie, Jake however grabbed your wrist to stop you, “Never mind that okay YN? You had a pretty rough day, let’s just get you back to your dorm alright?” 

“But your hoodie-”

“And up we go!” he exclaimed before lifting you up by the arms and pushing you to get out of that practice room. 

The walk back to your dorm was filled with Jake endlessly checking up on you, asking “Are you sure you’re okay” every five minutes. You reassured him time after time that you seriously were fine before finally losing patience and snapping “Jake Sim. If you don’t stop, I will actually not be okay.” 

“Okay okay! Just checking!” he said before whipping his arms up to feign in defeat. 

Reaching your dorm, you awkwardly stood at the doorway waiting for Jake to leave and bid you goodbye but instead he just sorta awkwardly stood there staring at you.

“Yes?”

“Oh um just- call me? If you ever need someone to talk to, you know?”

“Thanks Jake, but I’m not really looking to make my friend my pseudo therapist right now.” you joked. 

“I know I know, just reminding you. You’ve got me, ‘kay?” Jesus, you could never get over how warm his smile made you feel. 

“Alright, thanks Jake” You sighed out before slowly closing your door. After shutting it you immediately dropped to the floor, head buried into your knees. You hated this. You hated how without fail, no matter how long you avoided him, Jake Sim always managed to make butterflies spawn in your stomach and your heart to beat out of your chest. He always knew the right things to say and how to make you feel like the world stopped and purely revolved around the two of you. You hated how badly you’ve fallen for Jake Sim.

To give some preface, the only times Jake and you had kissed were: 

The first time you’d two ever hooked up when you were drunk out of your mind and too blacked out to remember a thing

The second time you’d hooked up; which technically wasn’t even a kiss because you stopped him as his lips ghosted over yours, almost connecting. You argued that it would be weird for you two to kiss since you only agreed on hooking up with each other, which you added did not involve kissing. 

You two mutually agreed that your relationship would involve no kissing between the two of you. This however did not stop the fact that Jake refusing to kiss you at the party bugged you more than it should have, leading you to blurt out on a random Wednesday afternoon: 

“You didn’t kiss me.”

Jake stopped midway through unbuckling his belt. “What?”

“I mean, at Soobin’s party, you didn’t do it” your eyes glued down to the bed sheets while your hands came up to fiddle with the ends of your hair “I mean you kissed Karina, why not me?”

“I mean…I can kiss you now if you want?”

“Yeah but then you’d only be kissing me because I asked you to do it.” you grunted out in annoyance “But when you were told to kiss me in front of others you didn’t, but you could kiss Karina so easily”

“I thought you didn’t want me to kiss you?” Jake countered, his tone becoming more argumentative. 

“When did I ever say that?” you tried to say nonchalantly, but instead your words spat out like an accusation. Fuck what were you doing? 

“Yeah okay well, kissing her meant nothing” Jake said in a bit of an exasperated sigh, his brows slightly furrowing together. Well Jake knew it wasn’t just that, but hell who was he to bring that up right now

“Yeah well, we’ve been fucking for 6 months, not like that means anything” For some reason this stung a bit for Jake, god he hated that it did.

“YN why does it matter.” he retorted back, the question coming out sharper than he intended

“Technically I’m saying it doesn't.” you let out a slightly stifled breathy laugh in an attempt to break the tension, obviously it doesn’t work “What do you not want to kiss me or something?”

No. God no it was the complete opposite. That was practically the only thing he’d thought about for the past month. But Jake couldn’t admit this now, first off to save him from looking like some desperate loser, and second: you just went on to elaborate on how kissing him meant virtually nothing to you. That them kissing was nothing. Jesus, how could he tell you only now that to him, it was something.

The silence filling the room meant one of the two things you concluded: Jake was either mustering up the courage to give you the best kiss of your life or he did not want to be anywhere near your lips. You opted for the latter.

“I’ll take that as a no.”, you swiftly got up from your previous straddled position to grab your designated ‘walk of shame’ hoodie and collect your things. Clearly, this wasn’t going anywhere. “It's fine Jake really. Just forget I ever asked. It was stupid, and uh, I’ve got practice so I think i’ll get going” you said absently while touching up your makeup

Jake hastily buckled his jeans back up and pulled his grey crewneck over his head. But you were practically out the door before he could finish. “Wait, YN…” he called out stumbling behind you trying to catch up

“Jake, seriously just drop it. It was stupid okay. And I’ve actually got a lot of stretching to do today, so I’ve gotta get going.” You attempted to make the end sound cheery and like you totally didn’t have a lump forming in the depth of your throat. To your dismay, emotions ended up getting the better of you and the words left your tongue stung with bitterness.

“YN I’m sor-” he attempted to stutter out, but you were obviously not hearing him through. “Bye Jake.” 

God, she couldn’t even look at me when leaving.

“Bye.” Jake let out defeatedly, only to be met with the slam of a door in his face.

“fuck…” you both thought.

“YN come on you’ve been cooped up in the dorm for weeks! Let’s go out tonight, I doubt Jake will even be at the party. Besides you were on my ass about not going with you last time, now the invitation is practically handed to you on a silver platter and you don’t even accept it?!” Zuha said as she rolled next to your curled up body that laid like a corpse on your bed. She was right though, you spent the next few weeks skipping all your classes and only going out to eat and go to practice that the colour from your face was practically drained. You looked like a total zombie to put it lightly. 

“Yeah I won’t, I’m not in the mood to go out tonight” 

“You’re never in the mood! Come on, what good is it to stay stuck in your room pitying yourself while bingeing K-dramas? That’s never gonna help you get over it, a couple of drinks is what you need!” you partly blamed Kazuha for your excessive drinking, she always managed to help you get out of a heartbreak by getting you blackout drunk. 

“Ugh Zuha, who's even going to be at this party anyways? Isn’t it the same old people?” you argued before pulling the covers over your head in hopes it would magically make you disappear from sight. 

“No actually it’s not, a couple of people from SM are hosting. You know, the uni Minjeong goes to? I heard SM parties are like, next level. And besides you can meet some new people, don’t you think that’s the perfect way to help you get over this loser?”

“Hey, he isn’t a loser!”, you quickly argued, springing up from your previously snuggled position, “just like- yeah anyways not the point. I guess, maybe…it would help?”

Before you could even finish your thought Zuha immediately pulled you up and sprung into action. “Okay, perfect. Here, wear this.” she said before tossing pieces of clothing at your face. 

Holding them up you weren’t even sure if she gave you a proper shirt, it was way more revealing than you were used to. “Did you cut this shirt up or something?”

“No, I didn’t you prude. And besides, don't you wanna look cute? Those SM guys won’t know what’s hit them. Trust me.” she said while absently applying lip gloss. 

Hesitantly you wiggled into the outfit before checking yourself out in the mirror. No matter how hard you tried you couldn’t even convince yourself that you felt confident. Maybe some makeup would help. Propping yourself on the bathroom counter you began to cake on layers of foundation, blush, and eyeshadow. Finishing it off with a muted pink lip. 

This is good, you’re fine! You’re going to have fun tonight. You muttered under your breath, repeating it like a mantra. God you hoped you could have fun tonight. 

Entering the apartment you were immediately hit with a wave of loud music blaring through your ears, god you couldn’t even hear what Zuha was saying right next to you. She was right, SM parties are next level. You could see a couple people gathered round a table playing beer pong, seeing Minjeong and a few other familiar faces. You decided to join them, and despite being the worst one there you had to admit it was really fun. Now that a few drinks were in your system you seemed to loosen up, completely forgetting about the worries that had plagued your mind this morning. You grabbed a drink and made your way over to the kitchen where you spotted Zuha and Heeseung talking. Hold on, Heeseung? If he’s here then… 

You scanned the apartment, eyes wandering to the living room where numerous people seemed to be chatting away enthusiastically. Moving further into the area your eyes darted across each face trying to spot your target, and that was when you saw him. There he was, red solo cup in hand, looking directly at you. 

Shit, you were gonna kill Zuha, what was Jake doing here? You scrambled to try and get away from him after making eye contact, but before you could slip away you felt a hand grab your wrist. God damn it. 

“YN, can we talk?” Jake begged with pleading eyes, fuck you’d never seen him this desperate, “please.” 

You nodded your head slightly before he dragged you to an empty room.

“Okay you said you wanted to talk, so talk.” you demanded, still slightly buzzed. Your confidence fueled with alcohol and sheer pettiness

“Listen,” Jake said before pausing to collect his thoughts, “I’m sorry for, well yeah all of it. I shouldn’t have kissed Karina that night, it’s just we aren’t exclusive or anything so I figured-” 

“Yeah we weren’t, but honestly Jake I couldn’t give less of a fuck” a bold-faced lie. Jake scoffed, he was trying to patch things up and you were seriously giving him this attitude? 

“Yeah sure sounds like it” 

“Yeah I don’t, I just think it’s messed up that you don’t kiss me and then proceed to call yourself my boyfriend” 

“Please, that was because Seunghan was bothering you! What was I supposed to do just let a creep keep harassing you? Do you even remember what happened that night YN?” 

“No and as I said I couldn’t give a fuck” 

“Well, I do. You can’t just tell me you like me and pretend it was nothing” fuck so he did remember

“Okay well,” You stuttered out, anger simmering within you “I was drunk. I wasn’t in my right mind that night, so yeah it was nothing. Why does it even matter if I like you or not, you said from the start that what we had was casual.” 

God were you serious right now? Jake could feel his heart hurt a little and his previously confident stance faltering, “Yeah well we obviously haven’t been acting very ‘casual’ as of late.” 

“Why does that even fucking matter Jake, I don’t know why you care so much!” 

“Obviously because I fucking caught feelings!” Jake’s mouth seemed to work faster than his mind. Shit did he seriously just admit that. 

Everything stopped, and your gaze softened for a split second. What. He likes me? He likes me. Fuck, why would you even say all that shit in the first place? You couldn’t even sustain a casual relationship how the fuck were you meant to maintain a real one? This is stupid.

“This is stupid.” you blurt out finally “I can’t handle a relationship right now Jake, hell I couldn’t even handle a casual one. No way we could ever be a real thing.” 

“I thought you liked me.” Jake muttered

“So what if I do Jake? Look at us right now, I can’t even confess to you without running away from it. I’m not good for you Jake. I wouldn’t be able to make us work and-”

“Are you not even willing to try!?” Jake interrupted, tears slowly brimming in his eyes. Fuck, you couldn’t bear seeing him cry.

“Not if I’ll just hurt you in the process!” you shouted meeting his glossy eyes with your own “I’m sorry Jake.” And with that, you stormed past him out the room, out the door, down the stairs, and booked it back to your dorm.

Much like the first time you met, Jake Sim stood there watching you run out on him, again. Fuck.

Ice cream, americanos, and 2521.

This was how you would spend your days now that you and Jake were officially over. Well it’s not like you didn’t hangout with your other friends as well, you tried really, but even with them you couldn’t get rid of the sickeningly hollow feeling that brewed in the pit of your stomach. You felt much more content alone in your dorm room accompanied by Nam Joo Hyuk and Kim Tae Ri. Or maybe you were just trying to ignore the empty feeling in your chest for as long as you could before heading to sleep. Whether it be escapism or satisfaction, you’d become accustomed to your new little routine. That was until one fateful Saturday afternoon. 

You begrudgingly got up from your comfortable position after hearing a couple of knocks on your dorm room door. Hair a mess and wearing a 2 week old set of pyjamas, you honestly couldn’t care less who was at your door. Expecting to see Kazuha you unlocked it without thinking too much, however you were only greeted with Park Jongseong staring straight at you. 

“Oh Jay! Hey,” you exclaimed suddenly, becoming all too aware of your unkempt appearance. “What are you doing here? Were you looking for Kazuha or something because she just left for practice an-”

“Actually I’m here for you.” Jay cut in, “Could I come in?” his lips pressed together in a thin line and his hands were tucked away in his pockets.

“Oh, um” taken aback slightly by the question you stumbled over your words as he watched you expectantly “...yeah yeah sure, it’s sorta a mess though.” you admitted before moving aside to let him in. 

“So, what’s up?” you exhaled before returning to your position leaning back on your headboard

“Have you um, talked to Jake at all recently?” 

And there it was. Fuck you knew he would ask about Jake. “No, actually.” “Ah yeah, I figured.” his eyes still awkwardly scanning the room “He’s been kinda out of it too, not really going to out with us anymo-”

“If you’re just here to tell me about how badly I hurt him, you can save it.”

“Wait wait no I wasn’t! Just, okay- hear me out” he reasoned before grabbing a chair to sit in front of you 

“I know you guys had that whole argument before. And I don’t blame you, I probably would've been pissed too. But as I said, Jake is an absolute mess. And in no way am I here to make you feel bad for him, or anything! Just like- YN I’ll be straight with you. Jake has never liked a girl this much. Like, ever.”

Feeling your heartbeat flutter more ever so slightly, you glanced up to make eye contact with Jay. “Ah…”

“Yeah and, considering the fact I had to basically nurse him through his first breakup in highschool where he claimed his life was over. I think I’m a pretty reliable source right now. Point is, Jake was like head over heels over you. Still is. Despite being really tired from practice he would always try and run to the convenience store to stock up on your favourite foods. And even before you guys started this whole thing, the day you ran out of his dorm room, I swear that man was an inconsolable mess. Every moment not spent with you, he spent with us talking about how much fun he had with you.” he paused briefly to let you soak in all the things he had just admitted

“And I know I don’t know you as well as he does, nor am I close with you like, at all. But from the look in your eyes you had whenever you were with him, I think you liked him a lot too. And just saying, I don’t think Jake is totally opposed to the idea of you guys dating even after that whole incident at the party. He’s still willing to try…” he trailed off before getting up from his previously sat position, “He’s playing in tonight’s game so, think about it?” he concluded with a slight shrug

Quite honestly you were at a loss for words here, I mean you knew Jake liked you but you didn’t truly know the extent of it. You were obviously still scared about meeting Jake again but a small part of you had hope he was still as forgiving as Jay claimed.

“Thanks Jay, I’ll see.”

This was a bad idea. 

You couldn’t believe Jay Park had convinced you to dress up all pretty just to sit through an insufferable game of soccer where you had no idea what was going on. Well, he didn’t really tell you to do all that, but you reasoned to yourself passing the blame would probably make you feel better about the fact that this was how you were spending your Saturday night. 

Legs crossed over each other and eyes shooting across the field, you couldn’t really make out anything that was happening. Despite going to a university for sports you sadly had no interest in anything that involved throwing, kicking, or hitting balls around a large empty space. 

You were internally debating whether any of this was worth it in the first place, the game was almost over there was so there was really no harm in leaving now anyways. That was until your eyes locked with an awfully familiar face. There he was, clad in a navy blue jersey, sweat making his skin glisten and a few strands of hair stick to his forehead, running across the field chasing after the ball. And just like that, you felt like you fell for Jake Sim all over again. 

You could deny that even if you had no interest in the sport, Jake made it look infinitely exhilarating. Suddenly drawn in you found yourself at the edge of your seat the entirety of the last half of the game, cheering and clapping whenever Decelis scored a point. It was the final few minutes and Decelis and SM were neck and neck, both scoring a total of 10 points each. 

The ball spiralled across the field before landing in front of Jake. Steps fueled with determination he dribbled the ball further and further across the court with speed and intensity you’ve never witnessed before. Fire blazing with every step he took, he skillfully planted his foot on the ball before striking it in the opposing team's goal post. 

“And a score from Jake Sim! Ladies and gentlemen with only 20 seconds remaining of the game we may have our winners!” The commentator's voice echoed across the stadium, the crowd erupting into shouts and cheers. 

After what seemed like an eternity, the referee finally blew the whistle to announce the end of the second half, crowning Decelis the official winners of this match. The team rushed towards Jake before engulfing him in hugs and showering him with compliments. Jake let out a wide grin in response, his smile beaming brightly across the field. You missed seeing that side of him.

Making your way down the stadium steps, you rushed over to the field in hopes to catch him before his team swept him away. Unfortunately, around 20 other people seemed to have the same idea as you. Being drowned out by the crowd gathered around Jake Sim you somewhat lost hope in any chances of you speaking to him tonight. It’s fine, right? You had plenty of other chances to talk to Jake. However, whether it be fate working in mysterious ways or the glint of your silver hair clip, Jake's eyes caught sight of someone tucked away behind the crowd. 

Recognising you instantly, his heart began to palpitate ever so quickly and the confidence he adorned earlier vanished in an instant. Not wanting to ignore the other people surrounding him he mouthed a quick “Wait” before politely finishing up his conversation with the rest of his team. 

Pushing slightly through the slowly diminishing crowd Jake made his way towards you and tried to ignore the way his hands instantly became clammy while his heart was beating out his chest. Mustering every bit of courage he had left of him he let out a strained “Hey YN.”

“Hi Jake,” you started awkwardly, “Could we um, talk for a bit?”

“Yeah sure but-” he reached to the nape of his neck beginning to look around, “maybe not here? We could go back to my apartment if you want, the guys are going to the afterparty and I’m not really interested.”

“Oh uh,” your heart jumped a bit at his sudden request but after calming yourself down you responded, “yeah, sure. That sounds good.”

The walk back to his place was admittedly one of your more awkward ones, silence filling the atmosphere as you two were both obviously too scared to start any conversation before reaching his apartment. Said silence remained as you made your way into his building, following him around while your eyes layed fixed to the floor. 

Clearing his throat as he shut the door, he decided he should be the one to break the awkward tension between you two. “You wanted to talk to me about something?” 

“Oh right. Um about the other night, I’m really sorry I just…” all the lines you had practised earlier in the shower now had completely slipped your mind, leaving you to run short of things to say, standing there after an uncomfortably long pause. 

“YN it’s fine, I totally understand you not wanting anything between us anymore I get it really-”

“NO THAT’S NOT IT!” hands reaching up in front of your chest before you noticed how disastrously frantic you sounded, “What I was going to say was-” you started before letting out a deep breath. God you really had to get a hold of your nerves.

“What I wanted to say was, well what I’ve been planning to say- is that I was wrong. And I’m sorry for saying all that shit that night, I was scared shitless if I’m gonna be honest. Also admittedly, really buzzed. That obviously doesn’t really make up for it, but, yeah. Anyways– I’m getting side tracked.” you mumbled before shaking your head to snap yourself back into it.

“I told you before, but I have a very big problem with running away from anything that doesn’t have a solid 100% success rate. And relationships kinda are a big part of that? I think I’m seriously out of my mind for saying this, and hell all of this seems incredibly crazy to me. But I just…have to get it out. I’m willing to bet on, maybe not a 100% percent success rate for you Jake. I don’t care if it’s 10, 20, 30 or in the negatives. I’m willing to take that risk for you Jake.”

One beat passed, then two, then another. You stood there in agony waiting for Jake to respond with anything. A yes, a no, a laugh in your face, god you just wanted him to speak. 

“Please say something” you winced. 

“Sorry I’m just- I just- well I’ve never really had anyone ask me out before? So, I kinda am at a loss for words right now, you know?” Jake paused to look up at your hopelessly distraught image, “You are asking me out… right?”

“Yes…I think so and I’ve truthfully never done this either.” you replied sheepishly, eyes still stuck on the hardwood flooring. 

“Well YN,” his hand reached for your chin to lift your head upwards so you were eye level with him, “I would love to go out with you.” he said with a gentle smile. The same smile that had you weak in the knees everytime. 

“Oh thank fuck.” you sighed out in relief. Jake couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of all tension leaving your body. He moved his body closer to you to corner you against the kitchen countertop before moving in to whisper, “Can I do this now?”

“Do what?”

“This.” and with that he slowly closed the distance between you two to press his lips gently on top of yours before his hand reached over to cup the back of your head. It took a moment for you to register what he was fully doing, but as if he had full control over your body you melted into the kiss like butter. Lips moving feverishly against his, your hands reached over to grab his arm and pull him even closer towards you. There was barely breathing room between the two of you, your bodies moving perfectly in sync. Sighing into the kiss as his mouth parted against yours; you swore you weren’t religious but if this was what heaven felt like, you were willing to rethink your choices. 

Slowly parting from him, his lips seemed to still chase after yours as if it was attached to your mouth with a string. You let out a small giggle, redirecting your gaze at his eyes. They were glistening with a warmth you’d seen countless times before, except this time you truly knew it was meant for you. You moved your arms over to loop around his neck whilst cocking your head to the side in amusement. 

“Guess people can’t call you a loser now?” 

“You know damn well I never was,” he chuckled out, tone still low and hushed, “C’mere” he exhaled before kissing you again with even more passion and intensity than before. You smiled into the kiss allowing him to manipulate your body like butter. 

Who knew the physics nerd had it in him huh?

thoughts frm yuya 💭 hai everyone! omg this is finally out 😭 i think i grinded this fic out in like a week so i do apologize if it's bad 🙏 anyways i hope you guys enjoy it since it's my first really long fic ^^ i said this before but i'll prob go on a short hiatus since i've got my finals coming up, maybe coming back by the end of may or middle of june? nonetheless I will still try and be active on here, just no posting or new works, but i might try to queue some works up so TT hope you guys enjoyed the fic >< feedback and reblogs appreciated !

taglist ─── ⋆ @yerisrev, @nwjws, @jlheon, @k1ttylvr @iiaweirdo @mokangelic @jvjsssnaa @ms-no1kpopstan @caeqey @saursoob @shinrjj @m3chigo @eneiyri @shnnzsworld @heelariously @felixslove @vixensss @laurradoesloveu @atrirose @anormieee @jaklvbub @leep0ems @river-demon-slayer @minniejenseo @thing89 @ineedsomezzz @riksaes @iheartjayke @jinnibug @kookify @roastandtoast @fakeuwus  @junityy  @ak-aaa-li @letwiiparkjay @kashuannn @floweryang @bywons @dimplewonie @ginakam @hearts4itoshi @nctislifue @chaeyunloveeee (if ur name is bold that means i unfortunately couldn’t tag u TT)

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SCREAMINGGGGG

dating apps suck (best friends to lovers)

summary: your best friend, soobin, has appointed himself as your matchmaker. but somewhere along the third guy he has swiped, he realizes maybe he doesn't want you dating someone else...i mean why date someone else when he's right there.

a/n: any of u guys out there missing soobin as much as me :(

genre: FLUFFFFFF just FLUFF!!!

characters: soobin x f!reader

words: 5226

warnings: none!!!

You could still picture the sunny afternoon, at seven years old, you’d crashed your bike in front of his house, tears streaming down your face as your knee bled. Soobin had sprinted out with a bright yellow Band-Aid and a juice box, declaring himself your “official nurse” with the most serious expression a seven-year-old could muster. 

From that moment on, he was always there—whether it was saving you from disastrous school presentations, sneaking snacks into late-night study sessions, or simply knowing how to make you laugh on your worst days. Which is why, as you sat on your couch listening to him announce that he’d signed you up for a dating app, you couldn’t even stay mad. He grinned at you like he always did, that mischievous, boyish smile, completely unaware of the sudden ache it stirred in your chest.

"I'm not... interested," you muttered, pushing his hands away as he waved his phone in front of your face.

"Not interested?" Soobin raised a brow, leaning back against the couch dramatically. "You're pushing thirty—"

"I'm in my early twenties!" you gasped, smacking his arm in protest.

"And you've never had a boyfriend—"

"What's wrong with that?!" you exclaimed, crossing your arms indignantly. "Men can be... atrocious," you added with a heavy sigh, narrowing your eyes at him. "You should know. You're one."

Soobin chuckled, completely unbothered by your jab. "Wow, true but harsh. Not all of us are terrible, you know."

You gave him a skeptical look. "Name me one guy who's not a literal trashbag."

"Me," he shot back with a cheeky grin, earning another smack on the arm. "What? I'm an absolute catch! If I weren’t your best friend, I’d totally be your type."

You rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the sudden warmth blooming in your chest at his words. "Sure."

"Don't be sarcastic," he pouted, clutching his chest like you’d mortally wounded him. "Anyway, that's not the point. The point is you deserve someone amazing, and I'm here to help you find them."

You sighed, knowing this conversation was far from over. "I’m not sure about this, Soobin. Dating apps are weird, and—”

"Which is why you have me!" he interrupted, flashing his phone. "I'll filter through the weirdos and only show you the cream of the crop. Consider me your personal dating concierge."

You groaned, burying your face in your hands. "I don't know, Bin. This isn't gonna end well."

Soobin’s grin turned softer, a rare moment of sincerity breaking through his playful demeanor. "Trust me. Please?"

"But what do you get out of this?" you asked, narrowing your eyes at him. "And since when were you so interested in my dating life?"

Soobin shrugged, leaning back against the couch and tossing his phone onto the coffee table like this was no big deal. "Well, I'm interested because I'm a great friend. Wonderful, even."

You arched an eyebrow, unconvinced. "You’ve never been this invested in my love life before. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were plotting something."

He gasped, clutching his chest in mock offense. "Me? Can't a friend just help another friend out. I’m truly hurt. Deeply wounded. I just want to see you happy, that’s all. Is that so suspicious?"

"Extremely," you deadpanned, though the corners of your lips tugged upward despite yourself.

"Okay, fine," Soobin groaned, running a hand through his hair. "I know I messed up three months ago with that whole Yeonjun situation—"

"Messed up?" You shot him an incredulous look.

He winced, holding up his hands defensively. "Okay, maybe messed up is not a fair term but I didn’t know he was talking about my other female friend! Look, I don’t have that many female friends, and I really thought he meant you!"

Ah, the Yeonjun incident. You dubbed it the most horrible, most awkward situation Soobin had ever put you in. Based on some sort of colossal misunderstanding, Soobin had convinced himself that Yeonjun, his old college roommate, was harboring a massive crush on you. So, naturally, Soobin had set you up on what he promised would be "the best date ever."

Except when you showed up—nervous but secretly excited—you were greeted with Yeonjun’s confused smile and the words, “Wait, when’s Arin getting here?”

Mortified didn’t even begin to cover it. You had stormed out, left Soobin an earful of angry texts, and refused to speak to him for days. When he finally grovelled his way back into your good graces, you made him scrub your toilet for an entire month—no buts, no excuses, no escape.

"You thought he liked me, Soobin," you said now, glaring at him. "And you didn't think to double-check before sending me to that disaster of a date?"

Soobin shifted uncomfortably, his usual confidence faltering under your gaze. "Okay, in hindsight, yeah, maybe I should’ve clarified. But come on, that was months ago! I’ve learned my lesson!"

"Have you?" you asked, arms crossed, though a small smirk played on your lips.

He leaned closer, giving you his best puppy-dog eyes. "I have! Which is why this time, I’m personally overseeing everything. No Yeonjuns. No mix-ups. Just quality candidates handpicked by me."

You sighed, shaking your head. "Why do I feel like this is still going to end in disaster?"

"It won’t," he said, a little too quickly. Then, softer, "I just... I want to make sure you find someone who sees you the way you deserve to be seen."

The sincerity in his voice made your stomach flip, but you pushed the feeling aside. Instead, you rolled your eyes and grabbed a throw pillow, tossing it at his face. "Fine. But if this goes south, you’re scrubbing the toilet again. For two months this time."

He caught the pillow with a grin. "Deal."

—

Somehow, Soobin had gathered an entourage. That just meant his other best friend, who had somehow wormed his way into your life too. Beomgyu had shown up uninvited—armed with snacks, a loud laugh, and zero shame—just as Soobin finished hooking up his phone to your TV.

Now, the three of you sat in your living room, swiping through dating profiles projected onto the big screen like some bizarre group activity. It was ridiculous.

"Good God," Beomgyu muttered, staring in horror at yet another man proudly holding a fish in his profile picture. "This is what you poor females have to go through?" He shuddered dramatically, sinking deeper into the couch. "That's like the fifth picture of a guy with a fish.’”

Soobin snorted, tossing a kernel of popcorn at Beomgyu. "New hobby alert?"

"Please," Beomgyu shot back, dodging the popcorn with a smirk. "If I ever post a picture with a fucking fish, kill me."

"Noted," you chimed in, scrolling past the next profile—a man with sunglasses indoors. "Wow, groundbreaking, looking like a real asshole, this one."

"Swipe left," Soobin said instantly, leaning forward like his life depended on it. "You deserve better than someone who hides behind sunglasses in every photo."

Beomgyu raised an eyebrow. "Look at you, Mr. Overprotective. What' are you gonna do if she actually finds someone? Start grilling the guy like an overbearing dad?'"

"I’m not overprotective," Soobin protested, though his ears turned red.

"You absolutely are," you teased, hiding a smile. "Remember when that guy at the coffee shop asked for my number, and you told him I was really into feet?"

"That was… justified. He looked at you funny." Soobin muttered, grabbing a handful of popcorn to avoid your gaze.

Beomgyu burst out laughing, nearly choking on his drink.

You shook your head, amused but not entirely surprised. "We’ve been at this for an hour and you’re the one rejecting most of them, Soobin."

"Hey," Soobin said, his voice softer this time. "I’m just making sure we weed out the weirdos. You deserve someone who treats you like gold."

His words caught you off guard, the sincerity in his tone making your chest tighten. But before you could respond, Beomgyu swiped right on a profile with a mischievous grin.

"It's been an hour, and you've already turned down like a million guys for being bankers or art collectors or anyone with a job." You raised an eyebrow as you looked at him.

"Art collectors tend to be pretentious," he replied with a shrug. "I can't have you dating people like that."

"Oh, this guy looks fun, he likes band music and from what I see, he lives around here," Beomgyu said, ignoring Soobin’s groan.

"I’m vetoing that one," Soobin declared.

"Too late. I swiped," Beomgyu said with a wink, kicking back as the two of you stared at the screen in dismay.

"A MATCH!" The bright words popped up on the TV screen, accompanied by an obnoxious little jingle.

“Our first match of the day!” Beomgyu cheered, throwing his arms up like he’d won the lottery.

You slumped back against the couch with a dramatic sigh. “Am I really that undesirable?”

“No, it’s just the first one we liked because someone,” Beomgyu shot a pointed look at Soobin, “vetoed literally everyone else.”

Soobin crossed his arms, completely unbothered by the accusation. “Sorry for having standards. Do you want her to end up with Sunglasses Indoors Guy or Fish Pic Number Five?”

You chuckled, pointing at the screen. “You’re being ridiculous. He seems cute—Huening Kai. He doesn’t sound like he’s from around here.”

“Yeah, well, he sounds like a loser. Look at this—he’s got a whole list of anime stats on his profile,” Soobin scoffed.

“Maybe you should date him,” you teased, laughing.

“Shut up. Something’s off about him,” Soobin muttered, his brows furrowing.

Beomgyu rolled his eyes dramatically. “God, you’re pickier than her! You’re acting like this is your dating profile.”

“She needs someone perfect. This guy… could be a weirdo, for all I care!” Soobin shot back, crossing his arms.

“Wasn’t this whole thing your idea?” You turned to Soobin, both confused and amused.

“Y-yeah, and I’m starting to think it might’ve been a bad one,” he mumbled, looking away.

“Aw, c’mon,” you said, grinning as you pointed at the screen again. “This Huening Kai kid is pretty cute. He looks like an anime character, and he matched with me! I’m a total loser compared to him—”

“No, you’re not,” Soobin interrupted firmly. “He’s the loser compared to you.”

Beomgyu nearly spilled his drink as he grabbed the remote, scrolling furiously to pull up the message on the big screen. “HE MESSAGED US! HE MESSAGED US!”

The three of you stared at the screen, where Huening Kai’s message blinked at the top of the chat:

Huening Kai: Hey there!

Soobin groaned, throwing his head back dramatically. “Hey there? Could he be any more boring?”

“It’s just a greeting, dude,” you said, laughing at Soobin’s clear annoyance. “Not everyone needs to open a conversation with a Rupi Kaur poem.”

“I mean, he could at least try. How hard is it to put in a little effort? ‘Hey there’ is what you say to your dentist,” Soobin muttered.

“Okay, Mr. Dating Expert. What would you have said?” you teased, nudging him.

Soobin hesitated for a moment, his ears turning red. “I don’t know. Something cooler. Like… ‘Hey, I noticed your profile, and you seem interesting.’”

"That's worse," Beomgyu said flatly, munching on popcorn. "You sound like that one guy who tried recruiting me on LinkedIn."

You rolled your eyes and picked up your phone, fingers hovering over the keyboard. “Fine, let me show you how it’s done.”

You: Wow, are you always this formal, or did I catch you on your best behavior?

“There. Witty, a little playful,” you said, hitting send with a grin.

Beomgyu snorted. “Not bad. But now we wait. Time to see if Huening Kai can handle the pressure.”

Soobin crossed his arms, watching the screen like it might explode. “If he takes more than five minutes to reply, it’s a red flag.”

“Oh, stop it,” you said, laughing. “You’re acting like a little bitch..”

“I’m just saying,” Soobin mumbled, eyes glued to the screen.

Just then, the three dots appeared at the bottom of the chat. Huening Kai was typing.

“Here we go!” Beomgyu cheered, leaning forward.

The message popped up:

Huening Kai: Haha, depends. Do you prefer formal Huening Kai or the version who spends weekends in a Pikachu onesie?

Beomgyu burst out laughing. “Shit, I like this guy already.”

Soobin frowned. “A Pikachu onesie? Who admits that on their first conversation? RED FLAG!”

You grinned, already typing your reply. “Someone who doesn’t take themselves too seriously. Relax, Soobin. I think it’s cute.”

Soobin didn’t say anything, but the way his jaw tightened told you he wasn’t exactly thrilled.

Beomgyu leaned back in his chair, still chuckling to himself. “Man, I’m actually liking this guy. He’s got personality.”

Soobin wasn’t so convinced, crossing his arms as he glared at the screen. “Just... don’t let him turn this into a whole ‘my favorite anime character’ conversation.”

“Oh, please,” you said, smirking at Soobin. “You’re so dramatic about this. I’m just trying to have a normal chat.” You tapped your phone screen, sending your response:

You: Definitely the Pikachu version. Formality is overrated anyway. So, Huening Kai, is that your real name?

“I’m telling you right now, he’s a definite red flag.” Soobin scoffed.

Before you could respond to his snarky comment, Soobin’s phone buzzed, causing all three of you to freeze. You grabbed the phone first, quickly unlocking it to check the new message.

Huening Kai: Yep. You can call me Kai though.

You looked over at Beomgyu, who was clearly as excited as you were. “Kai,” you said with a grin. “It rolls off the tongue.”

Soobin sighed from across the room, his gaze still fixed on his phone. “I’m telling you, something’s off about him. Here, let me test something out.”

You frowned, sensing that Soobin was about to do something unreasonably overprotective. “Test what?”

Without waiting for your response, Soobin typed furiously on his phone. After a few seconds, he turned the screen to face you. His message to Kai read:

You: Hey, Kai. Just out of curiosity, how do you feel about Annie?

“Annie? The musical?” You looked at him, genuinely confused.

Kai: The musical? I’ve never seen it.

Soobin smirked triumphantly. “There! There’s your answer. He’s uncultured!”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, crossing your arms. “Soobs, I’m not basing the guy I date on a musical I've never watched.”

Beomgyu leaned back, clearly enjoying the drama unfolding. “Who even watches musicals these days?”

You shot him a look, but the next thing you knew, Soobin was still going on.

“What does that even prove?”

Soobin’s expression was smug. “It proves that he’s clearly not refined enough for you.”

“Refined enough?” You stared at him. “Is this about the Annie thing or... I don’t know, your sudden obsession with my dating life?”

Beomgyu groaned dramatically. “Here we go. Soobin’s going full protector mode. I swear, this is like watching a soap opera. Someone just throw in a dramatic music cue.”

You sighed, glancing at your phone again, already typing up a new response to Kai. “Can we at least let him get past the Annie test before you start declaring him uncultured?”

But Soobin didn’t seem to hear you, too focused on his own thoughts. “I’m just saying... if he doesn’t like Annie, how could he possibly appreciate the classics?”

“Annie isn’t even a classic!” you retorted, exasperated.

Beomgyu snickered, but you could feel his amusement waver. Something else was brewing under the surface—and maybe, just maybe, it was more about Soobin than it was about Kai.

“Yes, it is!” Soobin retaliated, his voice rising in defense.

You threw your hands up in frustration. “Y’know what... you’re insane, and I’m going to get myself a cup of coffee from the convenience store. You can sit here and act Annie out or whatever.” You narrowed your eyes at Soobin, then turned on your heel.

“Oh, c’mon! I’m just tryna look out for–”

“Pull your pants up.” You muttered, signaling his falling sweatpants, before walking away.

“You’re so annoying!” Soobin huffed, pulling his pants up, but his voice quickly faded as you made your way to the door.

You paused for a moment, looking at Beomgyu sweetly. “Beomie, do you need anything?”

“Diet soda would be great.” He grinned at you, clearly relishing the chaos that was unfolding.

You gave him a deadpan stare. 

“You’re not gonna ask me?” Soobin scoffed.

“Ask Annie to get you some.”

Rolling your eyes, you slammed the door behind you, leaving them to their bickering. As you walked to the store, you couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation. Somehow, you knew Soobin’s ridiculous “test” was less about Kai and more about the fact that Soobin couldn’t seem to wrap his head around the idea of you dating someone else. Even though it was HIM that wanted you to date someone else in the first place.

Life would be so much easier if he knew how much you wanted HIM. Not Huening Kai. Not Yeonjun. Him. The thought of it felt almost too overwhelming to entertain—after all, you were just friends, right? You and Soobin had always been inseparable, but the line between friendship and something more had always felt like a hazy blur you couldn’t cross.

You shook your head as you entered the convenience store, pulling your jacket tighter against the chill. The last thing you needed was to complicate things by admitting how much you cared. Not when Soobin was so… oblivious. So focused on helping you find someone else. You grabbed your coffee and a diet soda for Beomgyu, the weight of the situation sinking in more with each passing second.

Back at home, the two boys sat in silence, the tension between them thick enough to cut with a knife. Soobin was still standing, breathing heavily, his fists clenched at his sides as if he were trying to hold back something. Beomgyu, on the other hand, lounged comfortably on the couch, a smirk tugging at his lips as he placed his hands on his hips.

“So, when are you gonna tell her?” Beomgyu’s voice was teasing, yet full of that knowing glint in his eyes.

Soobin glared at him, his expression a mix of annoyance and confusion. “Tell her what?”

Beomgyu chuckled, clearly enjoying himself. “That you like her.”

“I don’t like her. I mean, I do. But not how you think...” Soobin’s defense was half-hearted at best, as if he was trying to convince himself more than anyone else.

Beomgyu raised an eyebrow, the corners of his mouth curling into a sly grin. “Right... right. Because you’re in love with her.”

“Geez, Beomgyu,” Soobin groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. “Stop fucking around.”

“I’m not.” Beomgyu sighed dramatically, sitting back a little further into the couch. “You’re tweaking over some random guy we swiped on Tinder..”

Soobin shifted uncomfortably, his mind spinning with the mess of feelings he wasn’t ready to confront. “I just… want the best for her. Is that so bad?”

Beomgyu didn’t buy it. He studied Soobin for a long moment, the smirk fading into something more serious. “It sounds more like you want to be with her,” he said slowly, his words heavy with meaning.

Soobin’s jaw tightened, his eyes darting to the ground, suddenly unsure of what to say. His thoughts had been a whirlwind ever since he’d seen you swipe through profiles, the fact that you were even considering someone else—someone not him—a constant ache in his chest. It was easier when it was just the two of you, comfortable in your friendship, knowing exactly where you stood. But now? Now everything felt different.

“Damn it,” Soobin muttered under his breath. “I’m not ready for this.”

Beomgyu let out a low chuckle, sitting up. “Yeah, you are. You just don’t want to admit it. But I’ll tell you this, Soobin. If you don’t step up and do something about it… someone else will.”

“What, who?” Soobin asked, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“I know a couple of people who may be interested in our friend.”

“What?” Soobin’s eyes widened, trying to process. “What do you mean, a couple of people? Like more than one?”

“Maybe.”

“Beomgyu, stop being so cryptic!” Soobin nearly shouted, frustration creeping into his voice. “Who are they?!”

Beomgyu leaned back, clearly enjoying the moment. “Damn, you must really like her. Getting you all worked up like this.”

Soobin clenched his fists, trying to hold back a groan. “I swear, if you don’t just tell me—”

“Relax,” Beomgyu interrupted, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “I’m just messing with you. But seriously, if you don’t make a move soon, someone else is going to. And I’m not talking about some random guy. I mean, it’s obvious. She likes you too, Soobin. But you’re too scared to do anything about it.”

Soobin froze, his heart skipping a beat. She likes me too? The words echoed in his mind. He’d never thought about it that way before. Is it true? Or is Beomgyu messing with him? Like always.

“I— I don’t know, Beomgyu. What if I mess things up? What if it ruins everything?”

Beomgyu shook his head with a small smile. “Dude, you’re so scared of messing up that you’re not even trying. You’re wasting time. She’s not going to wait around forever. But if you don’t tell her how you feel, someone else might.”

Soobin paced the room, his thoughts a whirlwind of uncertainty and fear. The truth was, he did like you. More than he’d ever admitted to himself. He just didn’t know how to act on it. The idea of losing you was too much to bear, but what if you didn’t feel the same way? What if everything changed and he ruined the friendship?

Beomgyu stood up, watching Soobin with a knowing expression. “You’ve got to decide. But know this... you're running out of time.”

Soobin looked up at him, his resolve hardening. He had a choice to make. And whether it scared him or not, it was time to stop running from it.

He took a deep breath. “Thanks, Beomgyu.”

Beomgyu grinned. “Anytime. Now go, before you let her slip away.”

"So I go now?" Soobin looked at Beomgyu, pointing at the door, a mix of excitement and doubt written all over his face.

Beomgyu nodded, smiling. Happy to help his friend.

"Now?" Soobin repeated.

"Yes, you freak," Beomgyu narrowed his eyes, clearly not in the mood for Soobin's indecisiveness.

"Like, now?" Soobin asked, still not quite convinced.

"Yes! Go! Damn, I’ll watch the stove for you. Just go!" Beomgyu gestured impatiently, pushing Soobin toward the door.

"Okay, I’m going. I’m going! I’m doing it!" Soobin yelled, finally mustering some courage, though his nerves were still running wild. "What if she doesn’t like me–"

"Dude, I will kiss her myself to hurry this shit up," Beomgyu deadpanned, not even missing a beat.

"Right. I’m going," Soobin said, nodding determinedly. But before he left, he hesitated, voice cracking slightly, "What if I mess it all up?"

Beomgyu sighed, looking at him like he was an idiot. "If you don’t go, you will mess it up. Now get outta here."

With that, Soobin finally pushed through the door, his heart racing, each step taking him closer to something that could either change everything or leave him with even more questions. But he knew one thing for sure—he couldn’t go on without knowing how you felt.

As he jogged towards the store, the thought of you consumed him. Would it be the start of something new? Or would he return, more confused than before?

Either way, he was doing this. No backing out now.

At the store, you sighed, "Honestly, he's really lucky I love him," as you picked out Soobin's favorite ice cream from the freezer, shaking your head in amusement.

You grabbed a few other items—coffee for yourself, soda for Beomgyu—and made your way home. It was nighttime, and the winter air was biting, making you huddle deeper into your puffer jacket. Your beanie snugly squeezed your cheeks, and the hood of your puffer was pulled up to shield you from the cold. As you walked, Soobin spotted your little figure, bundled up and waddling through the chilly night. Without hesitation, he ran to catch up to you, his breath coming out in visible puffs in the crisp air.

Turning around, you froze, confused. "What the hell are you doing here?" you asked, raising an eyebrow.

Soobin stood there, a little out of breath, looking like he was in the middle of some emotional whirlwind. "Doing something I don’t know if I’ll regret or not," he said, running a hand through his hair, clearly nervous.

You raised an eyebrow. "Did your butt rash come back? The pharmacy's that way-"

Soobin froze, his face flushing. "N-no. I—how’d you know I had a—"

"Sometimes Beomgyu texts me things. Things I didn't need to know," you replied dryly.

"I’ll kill him later, but... no... look," he sighed, clearly awkward.

"Why are you all nervous? It's making me nervous," you said, glancing up at him, unsure what to make of this sudden energy between you two.

Soobin couldn’t help but smile at the sight of your puffy cheeks, the hood and beanie making you look even cuter than usual. "You're really cute, y'know that?" he said, almost absentmindedly.

"Huh?" You blinked up at him, slightly confused. "Did you just call me cute?"

He nodded, a soft, genuine smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Yeah."

You could feel your cheeks heating up as you took a moment to really notice how cute he was. The tip of his nose was red, his cheeks a little pale, and his hair tousled. He was adorable.

“You too,” you mumbled, looking up at him. “Especially like this.”

His cheeks pinked at your words. “Look... I know I've been weird about this whole dating app thing.”

“Mhm...” you nodded, trying to understand.

“But it’s only because I felt bad about the Yeonjun thing…”

“Uh-huh…” you said, still trying to wrap your mind around everything.

“Then I also thought, you know, maybe today I realized I don’t really want you to date anyone that’s not... well, me.” He whispered the last part.

You blinked, a little stunned by his words. The quiet confession hung in the cold air between you two, leaving a warm flush creeping up your neck.

"Oh," you said, trying to process what he'd just said, but your heart was already racing.

Soobin shifted on his feet, looking a little uncomfortable with the silence that followed. He rubbed the back of his neck. "I mean... I didn’t want to make things weird, but I guess I just needed to say it. You know... that, uh, I like you. Like, really like you."

You could feel your heart skip a beat at his words, the weight of his confession finally sinking in.

“Soobin…” You paused, your thoughts swirling. “You’ve been acting all weird because you like me? This whole time?”

He nodded sheepishly, a slight embarrassed grin spreading across his face. "I know. I’m an idiot, right?"

You shook your head, a smile tugging at your lips. "You’re not an idiot. You’re just... Soobin."

He let out a relieved breath, his expression softening. "I guess this is my way of finally saying it, huh?"

Before you could answer, he took a small step closer, his gaze locked onto yours. You could feel the warmth of his presence, the weight of his words, and for a moment, everything seemed to freeze.

"So," he murmured, his voice low, "are you still up for that... awkward conversation about us?"

You grinned, trying to suppress your nerves. "I’d really rather just tell you that I like you back."

Soobin’s smile grew, but it was a little shy, the corners of his lips curving up in the most endearing way. His dimples deepened as he grinned, but there was a slight hesitation in his eyes—like he couldn’t quite believe what was happening. It was cute, and you couldn’t help but notice how he was trying to hide his nerves behind that smile.

"So, Beomgyu was right then..." Soobin said, taking a small step closer to you.

"What’d Beomgyu say?" you asked, matching his movement and stepping a little closer yourself.

"That you’ve had a crush on me for a while now." Soobin's voice dropped even lower as he closed the smallest gap between you two, making your heart race.

You laughed softly, feeling the warmth between you. "It’s one of the rare times that man’s ever right. We should celebrate."

You looked up at him, the only space between you two now being the faintest gap between your lips.

"With a kiss, hopefully?" Soobin murmured, his breath warm against your skin. His voice was a little more teasing now, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he leaned in just slightly. “Not with Beomgyu though, right?” he added, a playful smirk tugging at his lips.

You snorted in amusement, rolling your eyes. “You’re an idiot.”

He laughed softly, leaning even closer, his smile growing wider. “That just means you love me.”

You raised an eyebrow, a mischievous smile curving on your own lips. "I'll think about it after I text my new buddy, Kai," you teased, your voice light and playful.

Soobin froze for a second, his smile faltering as he took in your words. “Oh...we're skipping to the toxic part of our relationship, and we haven't even started dating."

You couldn’t help but chuckle at his reaction, shaking your head. "Gotta have my freedom before I get locked down," you teased, your eyes twinkling with amusement.

Before you could even process the moment, a voice broke through the silence.

“Oh my God, just kiss already.”

Both of you turned to see Beomgyu standing there, a soda in hand.

“The soda was taking too long,” he added with a shrug, as if it was the most natural thing in the world to interrupt a romantic moment like that.

You groaned, playfully pushing Soobin away and hiding your face in your hands.

Soobin let out a frustrated laugh, his cheeks tinged with a mix of embarrassment and amusement. "Yeah, thanks a lot. We were just about to kiss," he muttered, though he couldn’t wipe the grin off his face.

Beomgyu shrugged nonchalantly, clearly unfazed by the interruption. “Oh, rats in Paris would’ve gone to third base by now.”

You shot him an exasperated look, but couldn't help the chuckle that bubbled up. The moment might've been ruined, but it didn't change the way Soobin was looking at you—how your heart was still racing.

"Next time, I'll just kiss you myself, Beomgyu," you said, giving him a playful glare.

"Please don't," Beomgyu said, dramatically stepping back. "I don’t need cooties from someone who wears jorts."

You raised an eyebrow, smirking. "At least I don’t wear socks with sandals."

“So, about that kiss,” Soobin murmured, his voice soft and low, his thumb gently grazing your chin as he tilted your face up, urging your eyes to meet his.

A slow smile tugged at your lips, and without hesitation, you leaned in, pressing a quick peck to his lips.

He pulled back slightly, a playful glint in his eyes. “That’s not a kiss. That’s more like child’s play.”

“Oh, then would you like to show me what a real kiss is?” you teased, your breath catching slightly at the closeness between you two.

Soobin smirked, his gaze dropping to your lips before meeting your eyes again. “If you’re begging.”

You could feel the fluttering anticipation in your chest as he cupped both of your cold cheeks, his touch warm against your skin. Slowly, he leaned in, his lips just hovering above yours. 

“I like you so much,” he whispered, his breath brushing against your lips, his words making your heart race.

“Did you brush your teeth before this?” you murmured against his lips, your smile tugging at the corners of your mouth.

“Yeah,” he replied with a shrug, his voice a little breathless. “I had a feeling we’d be making out.”

“Solid decision.” You nodded, unable to hide the smile that was spreading across your face.

Soobin grinned, his thumb gently brushing your cheek as he pulled back slightly, still close enough that his breath mingled with yours. “Well, you never know when a good moment will pop up.”

“And you always seem to be prepared for them,” you teased, your fingers lightly tracing the collar of his jacket.

He chuckled softly, leaning in again but not closing the distance completely. “I’m just trying to be ready for you,” he said with a mischievous glint in his eye.

You raised an eyebrow, surprised but amused. “Oh, so this is all about me now, huh?”

Soobin nodded, a confident yet playful smile on his lips. “Always has been.”

---

jungwon area is back???

formula of love ― yang jungwon.

― synopsis: chemistry with miss kim was known to be the worst class to every student at your school - but you don’t quite mind it, because of your deskmate yang jungwon (that you might have had just a tiny crush on). but one day, jungwon is missing from his seat - and he never returns for the rest of the school year. the next time you see his face is when a picture of him pops up on your twitter feed, and you learn that he’s now… an idol?  ― genre: classmates to lovers, smau + some written chapters, crack, fluff, mutual pining ― pairing: idol! jungwon x fem! reader ― warnings: swearing, reader is dense as hell lol, ignore timestamps ― taglist: closed ― status: complete! ― author’s note: idea came to me when i was stressing over my chem exam 😆😆😆 i love it here!!!

PROFILES: one / two

ONE ― yang jungwon from chem??? TWO ― gertrude and robert <3 THREE ― colour coded notes FOUR ― down horrendous FIVE ― jungwon destroys ramyeon (not clickbait) SIX ― rain sunbaenim SEVEN ― jealousy is a disease EIGHT ― ferrari and a mansion NINE ― i have a black belt TEN ― banging my head on the wall ELEVEN ― im gonna ask TWELVE ― dense as hell THIRTEEN ― smoldering thru the tears FOURTEEN ― cat cafe FIFTEEN ― beastie????? SIXTEEN ― slaybak SEVENTEEN ― ayo hitman bang introduces EIGHTEEN ― jaehyun??? NINETEEN ― fake! photoshopped!! TWENTY ― my gee eff

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he is so majestic 😭 oh, jungwon… the man you are!

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LOVEEEEE 💓

CRUSH CULTURE -park sunghoon.

🌀SYNOPSIS! back when you were a trainee you released a absolutely awful song about your fattest idol crush: park sunghoon. as you debut you hope it got lost in the depths of the internet, but what happens when the one and only enhypen member finds it?

🌀GENRE! idol au, strangers to lovers, fluff, smau

🌀PAIRING! idol!sunghoon x idolfem!reader

🌀STATUS! completed!

🌀WARNINGS! my corny ass jokes‼️

🌀FEATURING! enhypen, nct's HENDERY! stayc's YOON!

🌀AUTHORS NOTE! I AM CONTINUING LOVE THEORY!!! im just crazy like that and like starting things without finishing other stuff🙏💯

OO1. eingenes

OO2. leaked

OO3. solo

OO4. call me baby

OO5. hoony/n enabler

OO6. happy birthday

OO7. kay why es

OO8. future husband and son

OO9. how do you impress a girl

O1O. lost cause (smau+0.4k)

O11. #HIROKO _OUT

O12. 4HYPEN

O13. heartbreak anniversary

O14. in my bed

O15. finally real

O16. Ready To Love

O17. last straw

O18. player no. 23

O19. y/n girlfriend era

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pretty best friend ~ park sunghoon x reader

inspired by this request ! ౨ৎ ଓ ⋆˙⊹ [ 성훈 ] ☆ in which sunghoon helps his cute, innocent little best friend out after she asks for some.... advice. and despite knowing that he's a player - you had feelings for him anyways.. but little did you know he feels the same way.

word count ; 4.7k

best friend! player! sunghoon x nerd! reader , friends to lovers , blowjob , oral , fingering , hand job , very slight hints at ; corruption ; manipulation . curious reader , size kink , mutual feelings , HEAD PUSHER HOON YES YES YES , cum eating , not proof read

"sungie" you squeal , the feeling of sunghoons fingers squeezing your waist results in a loud laugh to sound from the back of your throat. sunghoons deep, raspy chuckles make a deep heat pool in the pit of your stomach , a guilty feeling lingering on your conscience for thinking of him in the ways you do. the way his hands feel on your skin makes you feel light headed - whether it be from the tickling, or the fact that he was touching you at all - the answer was unknown , and quite frankly; you didn't care enough to know.

as you lay beneath him, your legs attempt to kick his body away from yours - your hands find their way to his broad shoulders in order to push him back. but as you lay under him squealing his name - everything around you begins to feel rapidly hot , and sunghoon feels the exact same way.

the way his big hands swallow the entirety of your waist , your little legs desperately fighting against him, and the way his name spills past your lips.

all he wants to do is kiss them to shut you up, fuck you raw right there, make you scream his name, begging for him to grant you release.

suddenly, the memory of different girls begins to flash through his mind ; all the different times he's had multiple women screeching his name , begging him to fuck them faster - harder . but as of right now, the only woman he can truly adore to the fullest extent was already writhing underneath him.... but not in the ways he wants.

sunghoon comes back to his senses once he hears you whisperly call his name, a perfect little string of music that flows right into his ears that snaps him out of his lustful daze.

"s-sungie...?" you question, your round, doe eyes looking up at him through your eyelashes. sunghoon can feel himself tighten in his jeans, making him uncomfortable.

"how many girls have you had under you like this..." the question slips from your lips without consciousness , making you instantly shut your mouth , regret beginning to pool in your mind.

sunghoons face instantly changes , his eyes holding the utmost sincerity... sadness at the mention of the other women.

"... 'm sorry.." you whisper, your eyes darting away from him in order to look at something - anything else but him. sunghoon sighs and sits up, you following in pursuit. the two of you awkwardly sit next to eachother, the silence lingering in the air above you.

sunghoon chuckles before speaking, making you look at him in confusion.

"well, if im honest... too many to count really. i don't remember a good handful of them.." he smirks slightly at you, making a deep blush rise to your cheeks.

"so... you're experienced??" you question, making sunghoon tongue the inside of his cheek. he stretches one arm around you in order to rest on the couch, his legs spreading apart... inviting.

"yeah, i guess you can say i am... now; how about we get back to studying... you have a test coming up, dont you?" you respond with a head nod, making the man next to you grab a textbook from off the coffee table and handing it to you.

your glasses are perched on the tip of your nose , so you push them up.

you were a freshman in college, and the transition from highschool to university life was definitely kicking your ass. of course, you had always been keen to school life; you enjoyed it really. you loved learning new things and carrying around cute school supplies, it made you feel good about yourself whenever you learned something new... made you feel smart... so you kept going on with your love for learning into your early college years.

sunghoon, on the otherhand, was a couple years older than you; a senior in college. although he a couple years older, that didn't stop the two of you from being inseparable from an early age.

around an hour later, you hear sunghoon groan from the other side of the couch, pushing his glasses up and over his head.

"i'm not understanding, y/n... why on earth would you major in something so difficult... i don't even understand this and i've been in college longer than you have.” his messy hair being pushed back makes him look ten times more attractive.

"i dunno... i guess i just wanted a challenge." you shrug your shoulders, making the man across from you deadpan.

"whatever, lets just take a break and come back to it in a bit" he says, grabbing the book and pen from out of your hands and setting them back down on the coffee table. as sunghoon reaches over, you take note of his appearance; rolled up sleeves that stop right above his elbow, disheveled hair, tired eyes, and full lips.

as sunghoon turns to you, a deep shade of pink arises on your cheeks. you look away from him, trying not to seem awkward.

"so, y/n.. tell me; have you had sex yet?" you nearly scream at his words, choking on your own spit as soon as they leave his mouth. you turn and face him ominously, your face completely red and your eyes as wide as the moon.

"what on earth... why are you asking me this?" you squeal, hitting his bicep. sunghoon chuckles at your flustered state, his heart swelling in his chest at your actions.

"i'm just asking, come on you're in college... you had to have lost your v-card by now" he taunts, but quickly loses all sort of amusement laced in his expression once you turn to face your lap, playing with your fingers.

"well... there is this guy i like... but we havent done anything yet. im too scared. i dont know what im doing..." you look up into his eyes through your eyelashes, not turning your head to face him. sunghoon leans back into the cushions of the couch, spreading his arms to dangle on both sides of the back of the piece of furniture. sunghoon raises his eyebrows, urging you to continue.

"i- i was.. uhm... wondering if-- i don't know... you could possibly teach me..?" your voice was small... but sunghoon heard it as clear as day. now it was his turn to choke on his spit, completely flustered by your question.

he quickly gets his act together, smirking at your shy demeanor. you feel helpless under his gaze, quickly regretting your question.

"you don't have to, it was a dumb question im sor-"

"what would you like me to teach you, love?" he asks, his eyes never leaving your smaller figure. you raise your head completely, your hands still fidgeting with your fingers in your lap. you ponder for a moment, debating on how to answer his question before speaking once more.

"i want... i want to know how to suck.. uhm,, god this is so dumb.." you sadly chuckle to yourself with a shake of your head, breaking eye contact. sunghoon eyes you for a moment, instantly knowing what you wish to know.

"you wanna know how to suck cock?" you nod your head slowly, stunned at his straightforwardness. sunghoon eyes you for a moment more before lifting one of his hands up, motioning with his index finger for you to come to him; so you do.

"come here" your feet patter on the cool hardwood floor, stopping to stand in front of sunghoons spread legs. the man chuckles from below you, his hands coming in contact with the back of your thighs right below your ass.

"are you sure you wanna do this" you instantly nod your head without a second thought, wanting nothing more than for sunghoon to teach you how to pleasure a man,,,

the very one who sits before you , actually

at your words, he instantly brings you to sit on his lap, your knees meeting with the plush cushioning of the couch on either side of his hips. your face is mere centimeters away from his, your breaths fanning one another’s face.

"first... you don't want to just jump straight into it. both men and women need some sort of foreplay.. and the easiest version of that is kissing; a makeout session really." the two of you stare at eachother for a moment, one of sunghoons hands comes up to push a stray hair away from your face and behind your ear. your heart is beating out of your chest, your head feeling light and he hasnt even touched you yet.

"can i kiss you?" sunghoon asks, which makes your stomach erupt in butterflies. you shakingly exhale before nodding your head without saying anything. the man above you looks down at your lips before trailing them back up towards your wide eyes - eyeballing you shamelessly.

sunghoon slowly brings your lips to his own, the heat pooling in the pit of your abdomen deepening significantly the moment his mouth collides with yours softly. your lips are full and glossy, but is quickly smeared thanks to sunghoon.

after a long second, the two of you pull away to breathe... looking at eachother fully, longingly. the tension in the room as thick as ice is quickly cut, sunghoons hand cupping your cheek brings your face down frantically - your guys' lips meeting eachother once more... but this time its much different.

you feel both of his hands move to the slope of your waist, pulling you into him further - your back arching and your body curling into his front.

your hands slide up from his shoulders in order to wrap around his neck, your fingers lacing in with his dark hair. your breasts press up against his chest, and your lips move perfectly in sync with his.

the sounds of your heavy breathing fill the room along with sloppy lip smacking, but neither of you complain. sunghoons hands move your hips down onto his lap, the bulge quickly tightening in his jeans. you gasp when you feel his hardening length press right up against your clothed pussy, your fingers tightening in his hair cause him to groan into the cavern of your wet mouth.

you shiver under his touch, his fingers feather light as you curl into him deeper. every inch of your body yerns for the man above you, making a whimper escape your lips.

the kiss quickly deescalates as you pull away from sunghoons lips in order for air - but not before he pecks your lips a couple times. he leans back into the couch, the two of you exchanging aching, yearnful glances. your heavy breathing matches his - your chests' rising and falling in unison.

"sunghoon..." your eyes are half lidded as you speak, and it begins to drive sunghoon up the wall. he admires the adorable look on your face , everything about you is perfect and it frustrates him beyond belief. although he is experienced, he feels like a teenage boy having his first makeout session.

"yeah baby?" he calls out to you breathlessly, making your pussy clench. you dont break eye contact as you speak, making a shiver run up sunghoons spine.

"can i suck your cock... please..?" you ask nicely, in an almost pleading tone. it takes every ounce of restraint in order to stop himself from bending you over the couch and stuffing you full of his cum, fucking it deeper and deeper inside you - permanently marking you as his.

his woman.

"of course you can doll, go right ahead" he leans further back into the couch, getting a full view of you perched cutely in his lap - your skirt riding up your thighs and your zip-up hoodie falling off one of your shoulders.

you slowly get off the mans lap, a prominent bulge showing in his jeans. your mouth waters at the sight, excitement flowing through your veins. as you sink to your knees, you maintain eyecontact with the man above you, your pussy clenching around nothing at his lustful gaze.

your hands work at his zipper, pulling his pants down past his ankles. the tent in his boxers grows exponentially bigger, and you can tell that he's fucking huge. you stop to stare at him, eyeballing the outline of his dick through his underwear.

on instinct, you reach a hand out in order to palm him through the flimsy fabric of his boxers - making sunghoon hiss from above you. your eyes don't look away from his length, not for a second as you jerk him off slightly. a prominent wet patch begins to form on the light color of his underwear, making a gasp leave your lips.

"did i... did i make you.. already..?" you gawk up at him, making a laugh bubble up from his chest. you tilt your head to the side in question, and sunghoon finds it so fucking adorable at the realization of how innocent you actually are.

"no baby... thats just precum, you really don't know anything huh? how can you be so smart yet naive at the same time?" he taunts jokingly, mimicking your actions and tilting his head to the side.

you deadpan at the man, an unentertained look spreading across your face. without looking away, you bring your fingers to the tip of his dick, wrapping your hands around his head and squeezing slightly, making more precum stain his boxers.

sunghoon hisses, letting out a string of loud curses at your actions. you smile to yourself slightly, finding it funny just how fast you can make him fall apart in your hands.

you gasp at the feeling of one of his hands in your hair, yanking your head back slightly in order to make your eyes meet with his. every ounce of playfulness leaves your body as the older man stares into your eyes , a threatening look lingering written on his face

"don't be a brat. understand?" you pout your lips, but nod your head anyways. sunghoon leans down in order to kiss the tip of your nose before letting you go gently.

"good girl" he compliments, making your cheeks flush for the nth time that evening. your hands reach up to the waistline of his boxers, slowly pulling them down his legs and past his ankles. sunghoons pretty cock springs free, shooting up to slap his abdomen, his bulbous tip hitting right at his belly button.

fat, pearly drops of precum leak from his tip and down his shaft, making your eyes widen. you were right; he is huge. you gawk at the length, making his ego swell.

"never seen a dick before, huh?" you shake your head no, at least not in person.. one of your hands reaching up in order to softly grab the base of his cock in your hands. sunghoon observes your actions intently, his eyes burning holes into your skull. your hand lightly wraps around his cock, squeezing his length slightly. it takes you a moment; but you begin to pump him. you watch as more pearly beads of precum leak out of his tip, finding the sight mesmerizing.

after pumping his dick for a little bit, you bring your lips closer to the tip of his shaft, sticking your tongue out slightly in order to kitten lick the slit of his head.

sunghoon has had his dick sucked many times before... but with the way you keep looking up at him through his eyelashes - searching for any sort of validation that you're doing a good job is making him feel like a virgin again.

only you could have this sort of effect on him. he could just about reach down his throat and rip his heart out and give it to you on a silver platter.

you kitten lick his tip over and over - getting used to the salty taste of his warm seed before you take the head of his dick into your mouth completely. the warmth that your velvety, wet mouth provides makes him shudder under your gaze, his eyes rolling back into his skull ever so slightly. you attempt to take his cock deeper into your mouth, but the odd taste of his salty precum makes you gag around his length - you quickly pull off of him and cough , not used to the feeling of him being in your throat in the slightest.

sunghoon finds your actions cute - his ego expanding ever so slightly.

"god... its so- its so much.." you say in heavy breaths, trying to compose yourself. sunghoon looks down at you, his eyes holding admiration.

"its okay baby, take your time okay? this is normal. you've never sucked anybody off before. its alright, go nice and slow.." his voice trails off as you take his head back into your mouth, attempting to get used to his taste even more. you hollow your cheeks, your tongue swirling around his tip as you begin to bob your head up and down slightly - almost as if you were sucking on the tip of a lolipop.

every time you pull yourself off of his dick, your tongue runs over the slit of his tip, gathering his precum on your tongue. you look up at sunghoon - your doe eyes making direct eye contact with his as you lick down his entire length, running your tongue down the underside of his cock.

"fuck just like that.." he moans at the feeling of your tongue and the sinful sight of your eyes and actions - he feels like he could bust right then and there all over your face and he would enjoy it to the fullest.

"s-so fucking good... good girl" you're making it hard to believe you've never done this, but it's the truth. you take his tip into your mouth once more, your head moving up and down as you begin to suck him off again. one of your hands moves towards the base of his dick, gripping it in your hand as you begin to jerk off the remaining length you haven't fit into your mouth yet.

you hear another moan sound from just above you, making your confidence sky rocket. your hand and mouth move around him, the combined slick of your saliva and his precum making the perfect lubricant in order to have him shaking in your hold.

"god fucking... fuck. just like that... doin' such a good job.." at the sound of his praise, you start to take his length deeper down your throat, your eyes watering at the weird feeling. you breathe in deeply through your nose, adjusting to the newfound feeling. you swallow around him, making sunghoon buck his hips into your face on accident. you gag around him, but decide to continue on. your head bobs faster up and down sunghoons cock, your hand that was previously jerking him off coming down to grip his balls in your hands - fondling and playing with them.

"oh my fucking god, takin' my cock so well.." he praises. the dampness in your eyes falls freely down your warm, flushed cheeks but you could care less. as you breathe in through your nose, you swallow around him again, making sure to keep your cheeks hollowed while your tongue runs along the vein that trails down on the underside of his cock.

one of sunghoons hands comes down to wrap itself in your hair, his fingers tugging on your colored locks. at first, he just keeps his hand in your hair - but as you keep using your pretty little mouth in all the ways that you do ; he begins to push your head up and down .

a hum leaves your throat, which in turn sends vibrations throughout sunghoons entire body.

"s-shit-" he curses, the grip in your hair tightening significantly before he forces you to take his dick deeper, his bulbous tip hitting the back of your throat. you attempt to cough around his length, your nose coming down to press snugly against his pelvis.

you swallow around him again, more tears escaping your eyes as you try your best not to disappoint him. sunghoon just about falls apart from under you; his hips sputtering against your face in a sloppy grinding rhythm that has you gripping his thighs to ground yourself.

after a moment, sunghoon loosens his hold on you, letting you come up for air.

but the way you keep bobbing your head up and down on his cock takes him by surprise.

"s-so warm.. god you're perfect" your mouth comes up to suck on his tip once more, and before you can even look up to see his reaction - you feel his cock twitch in your mouth

"im- im gonna cum fuck... where do you want me baby?" you've heard of girls swallowing their boyfriends cum before, so it cant be so bad right? you keep your glossy lips wrapped around his tip as you suck down a little rougher, your hand coming down to play with his balls once more. you hear a raspy 'fuck' before you feel his salty, warm cum shoot into your mouth.

you instantly regret your decision, the taste being unfamiliar and weird has you gagging and shaking your head - but your ego tells you to continue, so you do.

you take his load into your mouth before detaching from his head, his dick beginning to soften ever so slightly. sunghoon looks down at you before he raises his hand to grab your face lightly inbetween his fingers. your lips part slightly, making a couple drops of his cum drip down your chin.

"god you're perfect... you wanna spit it out love?" you ponder for a second, but ultimately decide on swallowing his load. your face contorts into a sour expression, showing your distaste. sunghoon coos at you, a soft laugh sounding from his mouth.

"you're so fucking adorable, you didn't have to swallow sweetheart..." he pouts, making you smile slightly.

"i wanted to, i thought that was normal..... it tasted- weird." you giggle, and sunghoon leans down to kiss your forehead as he cups your cheek.

"now... how about i show you something else too, huh?" you shoot him a questioning look before he lifts you up onto the cough, laying you down so your back is flush against the cushions of the couch. you look up at sunghoon and wrap your arms around his shoulders before he leans down to kiss you, taking your lips in his.

you feel his hands sneak down to your waist, pinning your body down against the couch. his lips move in a steady, perfect rhythm with his that has you quietly whimpering into his mouth. the man detaches from your lips only to start trailing wet kisses down the skin of your neck.

your eyes flutter closed at the feeling of him sucking deep purple hickeys into your skin, desperate moans filling the air around you.

"s-sung..." he hums at the sound of his name leaving your lips, acknowledging you quietly. the man then trails his kisses down your body tauntingly slow before he reaches the waistband of your little skirt.

sunghoon looks up at you through his eyebrows before kissing your pelvis bone through the fabric of your skirt. your chest heaves up and down in short, frantic breaths once you feel his cold hands slide up the sides of your thighs , trailing them upwards and under your skirt.

"can i take this off?" you rapidly blink, questioning his motives.

"hoon... w-wait i thought... you were- i thought..." he cocks his eyebrows up, making your wetness pool in your panties.

"will you let me show you what it feels like to have your pussy ate, my love? want hoonie to make you feel good?" you ponder for a second, hesitating on the thought.

"what if.. what if i taste bad or i can't finish,,, or-"

"baby, i don't care. let me taste this pretty pussy, yeah? wanna let sungie fuck you with his tongue? split you apart?" you whimper at his vulgar words, your eyes fluttering closed while you shake your head yes.

at the confirmation, he slides the fabric of your skirt down and passed your ankles, throwing it down on the ground to be forgotten. sunghoon refocuses his attention to the prominent wet patch littering the pink lacy underwear.

"god, you're so wet already and i haven't even touched you" he teases you through half lidded eyes, the cold pad of his finger coming in contact with your clothed clit. you whine at his actions, the butterflies in your stomach making your head cloud over with nothing but the dirty, vile thoughts of everything you want sunghoon to do to you.

the way he gently starts to massage shapes into your bundle of nerves has you quietly speaking his name, your hands coming down to bunch his hair inbetween your fingers.

sunghoon pushes your panties to the side, his fingers slipping through your wet folds. a hiss sounds from just below your hips, the feeling of your slick dripping through his fingers is indescribable.

"such a pretty pussy" he eyeballs you, making you feel shy underneath his lingering gaze.

your clit twitches repeatedly thanks to the gentle friction he creates, your back arching off the couch in order to help your hips grind into his hand.

after a moment, you feel sunghoon plunge a long finger into your pussy, your mouth slacking open in a perfect O shape as moans and whimpers dance off your tongue in a beautiful chant, all for sunghoon and sunghoon alone.

"how does it feel, angel face?" his breath fans your pussy as he speaks, and all coherent thoughts fall out of your brain as quickly as they come.

"s-s' good,,- feels s' good please" you squeak, your thighs spreading apart even further to grant him more access.

"so tight, perfect little virgin pussy all spread out just for me" his free hand comes down to peel your panties further to the side, his tongue darting out in order to lick a stripe up your wet slit, gathering your juices on his tongue.

"tastes so sweet, my sweetest girl" your face flushes at his words, but your hips grind up into his face once he wraps his lips around your clit in order to suck down on the bundle of nerves.

"oh my god" you squeal at the newfound feeling, your heart beating out of your chest so rapidly, you're convinced it could burst at any given moment.

"sucking in my finger so perfectly, i don't think you can take any more baby" you shake your head no, but the prominent pout on his lips taunts you into thinking you can take just a little more.

sunghoon adds another finger swiftly into your hole, stretching you even more with his his slender fingers. you hiss at the stretch, trying your hardest to adjust to the newfound sensation that radiates throughout your body in ripples. the way sunghoons tongue laps at your heat as if he were desperately searching for the last sip of water drives you insane - he cant help himself , you're just too fucking sweet.

"i feel weird, hoonie i- i cant , feels s' weird" your eyes squeeze shut as white-hot pleasure shoots through your veins . your fingers tug on his hair harsly and your hips buck up into his mouth, everything begins to feel hot and overstimulating, a thin layer of sweat forming on the skin of your forehead.

"let it happen sweet, you gonna cum for me?" he asks, even though he already has his answer the moment his fingers find the sweetspot that adorns your velvety, tight walls.

"please, please please please a-ah" his teeth biting down on your clit send you into overdrive - your abdomen tightens as the string in your tummy snaps - juices squirting all over the lower half of sunghoons face as your pussy squeezes his digits tightly.

"there you go, look so so pretty when you're makin' a mess all over me... my pretty little cum slut, hmm" his eyes widen as you cream around his fingers, white gooey slick oozing from your hole where his fingers fuck you apart sloppily.

"sun-sungie fuck" your hips and thighs jolt in his hold, and you can feel yourself come crashing down from your high at lightening speed. as your body relaxes into sunghoon, he pulls his fingers out of your fluttering hole.

"god you're absolutely perfect"

---

oh, to be loved by niki <3

N.RK. — RUIN OUR FRIENDSHIP.

pairing. nishimura riki x gn reader

genre. fluff, best friends to lovers au, highschool au, a bit of angst, dancer au

warnings. food, mutual pining, slight themes of jealousy

summary. in which you'd gladly ruin your friendship with niki in favor of being lovers instead, but can't decide if niki feels the same way.

length. oneshot

word count. 5.5k+

taglist. @starlostseungmin @luvhyun3 @ilynaevis @dnadoublefelixx (send ask if you'd like to be added or removed !!)

a/n. to minimize confusion, please just assume that everyone mentioned in this au is in their senior year of high school 😭 also.. hwangsify enhypen writer debut?!? 😰😓‼️ it's my first enha au so please please please feel free to give me feedback / your thoughts about this piece !!

It is during your seventeenth May that you learn 3 things about Nishimura Riki, certified dance prodigy, bungeoppang enthusiast, and also your best friend. 

1) That he really has grown up, in more ways than one (and you can’t decide if you like it or not), 2) that longer hair suits him a little more than you’d like to admit (especially when he tackles you in a sweaty bearhug after practice just to annoy you and his damp bangs are falling artfully over his eyes in a very attractive way), and 3) you have utterly and absolutely fallen in love with him (and you’re not sure how to fall back out). 

If you’re being honest, you still don’t quite know how #3 happened. After all, this is Niki you’re talking about, who you have known since the two of you were pudgy first graders. You’ve watched him sob over Toy Story 3 and rip the seam of his pants while attempting a split during dance practice and just about a thousand other wonderfully embarrassing things that you, as Niki’s childhood best friend, are privileged to watch and observe Niki do. (You also have your own fair share of embarrassing moments but that’s a conversation for another day). 

The point is, it’s just a little alarming that Niki had to be the one you’d fall for. After spending so many years together, the two of you practically spend every waking moment together at each other’s throats. 

(“You two bicker like an old-married couple,” Heeseung tells you one day, after you spend half an hour complaining to him about how tall Niki has been getting recently. 

“I’m not even going to think about the implications of that statement,” you snap back, and pointedly ignore the complacent grin that makes its way across Heeseung’s face.)

If it were up to you, you’d probably choose to fall for someone like Jake, who’s something like boyfriend material personified and who also doesn’t make it his life mission to annoy you until you physically cannot stand him anymore. But instead, you had to go ahead and fall for Niki. And now there are stupid butterflies fluttering wildly in your stomach whenever you set your eyes on him and his insanely attractive bangs and your heart skips a beat whenever he touches you, even if only on accident. 

It’s annoying, you decide. Being in love is very, very annoying. 

It’s not like you can help it, though. You never could quite help yourself when it came to Nishimura Riki. 

“Buy me bungeoppang after dance practice,” Niki prompts, sweeping his bangs back from his forehead as he goes through the dance sequence for the thousandth time. 

He looks good today. You have trouble tearing your eyes off of him. 

“Sorry, what? I wasn’t listening.”

“I said, buy me bungeoppang after dance practice,” he repeats, turning to glance at you.

You sigh. “Remind me again why we’re getting bungeoppang at the expense of my wallet and not yours?” 

“I bought bungeoppang last time for both you and Sunghoon!” 

If you’re being honest, you are very tired of the fish pastries at this point. Niki insists on buying them every time you get off from dance practice (because he’s just that obsessed) and while you enjoy them, you’d also much rather get something else to eat. Preferably something salty— you’ve been craving Sajo Corn Dogs recently. 

But it gives you an opportunity to spend more time with Niki, and the smile that lights on his face every time he bites into the bungeoppang makes it all a thousand times worth it. So you choke down the pastries anyway and try your best to act as if you’re not exhausted from eating the same stuff every time you get off from dance practice. 

“Fine,” you sigh. “I’ll buy you bungeoppang. But you’re buying next time.”

Niki hums in agreement, a small smile gracing his lips. The door sounds from behind you and you turn to see Sunghoon trotting inside, accompanied by a pouting Sunoo. 

“What’s with the face?” you laugh. 

Sunghoon grins. “He’s sulking because Jay insulted his aegyo.” 

Niki audibly snorts from behind you, although he doesn’t look away from the mirror as he goes through the choreography. Sunoo rolls his eyes and clutches your arm imploringly. “At least you find me cute, right Y/N?” 

For a moment, you’re tempted to tease Sunoo, just to see him pout some more. But you decide that he’s gone through enough today, especially considering the fact that Jay really does not hold back when it comes to bashing Sunoo’s aegyo. Grinning, you reach out a hand to ruffle Sunoo’s pink strands of hair. “Sure. You’re pretty cute.”

Sunoo beams smugly at Sunghoon. “I told you someone finds me cute.” 

“Y/N doesn’t count!” Sunghoon protests. “You know they’ve always had a soft spot for you.” 

Niki turns around from the mirror, grinning. “Besides, it’s only Y/N that finds you cute.”

Sunoo’s eyes narrow as he glares at Niki. “Yah, are you asking for a beating?” 

You quickly grab Niki’s arm before the two of them can jump at each other, because after years of watching the two of them together, you’ve long since learned that Niki and Sunoo can only spend an allotted amount of time together before they start chasing each other around the room while screaming insults at each other. 

“Actually, me and Niki were just about to go buy some bungeoppang. Do you two want any?” 

Sunoo shakes his head. “Don’t you get tired of bungeoppang? I’ve eaten so much bungeoppang this past year that I feel like throwing up everytime I see one.”

“Have fun getting bungeoppang!” Sunghoon calls out. “Maybe find the guts to finally kiss each other in the process!” 

You turn around to properly flip the smug motherfucker otherwise known as Park Sunghoon off, cheeks burning. Niki is equally as flushed from next to you, eyes narrowed as he glares at Sunghoon menacingly. Hastily, you pull Niki out of the door before Sunghoon can go ahead and blurt out anything more damaging. 

“Are we going to the usual cart?”

Niki nods, reaching into his pocket to flip open his phone. You allow yourself a brief glance in his direction while he’s distracted, taking in his flushed cheeks and sweaty bangs. He really has grown up. It seemed like only yesterday that he stole your crayons from you in first grade, cheeks still round with baby fat, hair styled in that atrocious bowlcut of his that bore an uncanny resemblance to a coconut. It’s hard to believe that he’ll be off to college already by next year. 

By the time you’ve reached the bungeoppang cart, the sky has already darkened. You watch as the man pours the dough into the molds and adds in the red bean filling before flipping the pan over to allow it all to cook. Niki watches on with mild interest, although he’s seen it happen a thousand times by now. 

The fragrant smell of sizzling dough fills the air as the fish pastries cook. 

You sigh. 

You’ve really eaten too much bungeoppang these past few years. 

When the pastries have fully cooked, the man slips them into a paper bag and you bow your thanks, reaching into your wallet to grab a few banknotes in payment. The man’s eyes flick between you and Niki, taking in your barely touching shoulders. 

“By the way,” he says, grinning. “Are you two together? You seem close.”

You balk, cheeks burning as you purposely avoid Niki’s gaze. He gives a short laugh from next to you and shakes his head in denial. “Ah, no. We’re just friends.”

“Ah,” the man says. “I see.”

He hands you the paper bag of bungeoppang and you quickly pull Niki away before the man can say anything else. If Niki catches sight of your flushed cheeks, he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he grabs the bag from you and pulls out a bungeoppang, taking a bite of the pastry with a sigh of bliss. 

Glancing at you, he holds out the pastry bag. 

“Do you want any?” 

You shake your head, smiling, although you can’t seem to keep your thoughts from straying back to the man’s words. 

God, maybe the two of you were just friends but you wouldn’t mind being something more. 

“Whoa, maybe I can choose..” you pause, squinting down at the screen of your laptop. “Bagpiping as my major.”

You grin. “Imagine how Sunoo would react if I actually decided to major in bagpiping.”

Niki sighs from next to you as he scrolls through his phone. “You’re really not going to take this seriously?”

“It’s a coping mechanism, okay?” you snap. “I’d rather think about taking bagpiping as a major than think about actually going to college next year. Besides, it’s easy for you. Your entire life was basically decided the moment you stepped into that dance studio for the very first time at the tender age of 3.”

“I mean, why not take dancing as your major? You’re good at it.” 

You grimace. 

“I just don’t know if I want to actually major in it or not. I mean, I like it a lot but not at the same level as you. You were practically born to dance.” 

There’s a note of envy in your voice. What you wouldn’t give to have Niki’s confidence in his decision-making. If you’re being honest, the very idea of college has you quaking. Normally, you’re the type to postpone any significant life decisions to the last minute, just because you rather not risk accidentally making the wrong choice. But college has forced you to make a multitude of decisions, each and every single one of them being pivotal to your future. 

To put it gently, you have come to possess an undying hatred for college applications. Even just the thought of the countless college pamphlets sprawled across your desk in your room makes your stomach hurt. 

“I mean, you can always change your major if you don’t like it,” Niki reasons, glancing up from his phone to look at you. “It’s not like your life would be ruined forever if you accidentally chose the wrong major.” 

“But I want to make the right decision from the start!” you protest. “I don’t want to go through all the trouble of starting a major just to realize I dislike it.” 

Niki shrugs and looks back down on his phone. Leaning forward, you catch a glimpse of his screen and let out a huff of exasperation. 

“Care to explain why you’re scrolling through the #softcats hashtag on TikTok instead of studying like you promised your mom you would?” 

“I’m taking a break!” Niki protests, tilting the screen of his phone away from you. “I get migraines if I stare at my physics textbook for too long!” 

“Bitch, the physics exam is tomorrow and you still haven’t finished studying the first chapter,” you sneer. “Hopefully your mom won’t beat your ass too badly when you come home with your 68 just like last time.”

“Yah, that was one time! Besides, this exam hardly even matters, especially since the finals are coming up in less than a month.”

You roll your eyes and wave your hand dismissively. “Whatever. It’s not like I care if you fail physics.” 

He sighs but flips open his textbook anyways. Knowing him, he’ll probably give up on studying in a matter of a few hours in favor of scrolling through some more cat Tiktoks. Even so, you doubt that he won’t manage to pass the exam. Despite that one time that he got a 68 on a calculus test, he’s always been a talented student. 

Your phone buzzes from next to you, vibrating with a notification from the groupchat. 

[4:56 pm] heeseung: sunghoon just told me that he wants to major in bagpiping can someone please come over and talk some sense into him

You let out a short laugh. “Sunghoon wants to major in bagpiping too! It’s not just me!” 

“Sunghoon probably gave up altogether at this point,” Niki snorts. “Besides, he’s got a whole career in ice skating ahead of him. He doesn’t need to worry about his college and major.”

That’s true. Sunghoon could probably get into the Olympics with his ice skating if he really tried. 

[4:57 pm] ngl i’m kind of tempted to major in bagpiping too  [4:57 pm] sunghoon: see !! it’s not just me !! y/n if u major in bagpiping we can be bagpiping buddies !!!  [4:58 pm] assuming that we get into the same college, that is  [4:58 pm] sunghoon: god why would u even MENTION college the very idea is gna make me sick

There are some times where you think it’s more than plausible that you and Sunghoon were soulmates in your past lives. 

“Wow,” Jay remarks after Sunoo pauses to take a breath during his long speech about how disappointing The Eternals was as a Marvel movie. “I never thought you could speak so passionately about anything other than mint chocolate ice cream.” 

In spite of the overwhelming amount of homework and college applications senior year throws your way, you still have to admit that there are benefits to being a senior. The most prominent of which being the fact that you’ve been able to spend a lot of time around the rest of your friends, especially Niki. 

Maybe it’s the fact that you’ve worked your asses off for the past three years in highschool or maybe it’s just the fact that this year will be your final year together as a group, but all your parents seem to have made a mutual agreement to ease up a bit on the studying to allow for you to spend more time together as a group. 

You suppose that’s why you find yourself sitting on the floor of Jungwon’s apartment, listening intently as Sunoo goes on and on about how mediocre The Eternals was. Jake had originally been the one to propose the idea of having everyone make a short speech regarding the things they learned during the time they spent together as a group to commemorate your friendship over the years as well as to celebrate your upcoming graduation. It wasn’t a bad idea, you admit, but ever since Jungwon came up and performed Tiktok dances as his speech, things kind of just went to shit. 

Jake looks like he regrets ever even mentioning his idea in the first place as Sunoo rants about how Ikaris and Sersi had zero chemistry as the main couple, even going so far as to pull up some random GIF on his phone to emphasize his point. The majority of you haven’t even bothered watching The Eternals, and the ones that have really can’t bring themselves to care, but Sunoo seems to have waited his entire life for this opportunity so you don’t bother breaking it to him that Niki has fallen asleep about halfway through his speech and Heeseung has been subtly scrolling through Instagram for the past 5 minutes by now. 

When Sunoo finally wraps up his speech, thoroughly winded from venting for 20 minutes straight (although he still finds the strength to smack a sleeping Niki hard on the shoulder and scold him for falling asleep), a silence settles throughout the apartment. For a moment, you all sit there until Jay abruptly clears his throat. “So… I guess this is our final year together, huh?” 

“You just had to say it out loud,” Jungwon sighs. 

“Someone had to say it!” 

Niki shifts from next to you, stretching forward to rest his head in your lap. You freeze for a moment, tensing from underneath Niki, and desperately hope that no one notices. 

Of course, they do, anyway. Heeseung catches your gaze and grins at you while raising his eyebrows suggestively, tipping his head towards the sleepy Niki lying in your lap. You mouth at him to fuck off, glaring at him menacingly. If the others notice, they say nothing, although they exchange glances between each other. 

There’s another long pause where everyone just stares at you and Niki for a long moment before Jungwon finally speaks up. 

“I can’t believe it’s all going to be over in like, 3 months.”

“It seems like yesterday that I first met you guys,” Jake shakes his head. “And now we’ll be in college next year.” 

Apparently, even Jake finds the idea of college intimidating, which is comforting considering the fact that he’s probably one of the smartest people you know. 

Jay groans and buries his face in his hands, evidently put off by the thought of college. You can’t blame him. Niki chuckles from your lap and you feel your stomach flip at the sound of his laughter. “Still scared of the thought of college?” 

Jay glares at Niki, eyes narrowed. “Maybe. Just like you’re scared of confessing to Y/N just because—” 

You hurriedly cut him off with a nervous laugh before he can deal anymore damage. Niki quickly sits up, raising his head from your lap to glower at Jay and Jungwon quickly steps in before the two of them start bickering. 

You can’t say it doesn’t bother you. These little comments your friends randomly throw in about you and Niki, as if it were a universally accepted fact that the two of you belonged together. The little jabs Jungwon randomly throws your way about “growing the balls to finally kiss Niki instead of sighing over him all the fucking time” or the teasing grins Sunoo shoots you whenever you’re within a ten foot radius of Niki. It almost seems as if everyone knows of your massive crush on Niki except for Niki himself, which is a little more disconcerting than you’d like to admit. 

After all, haven’t you been obvious enough? The iced americanos you leave by his desk at school whenever he falls asleep in class, the sweater you lent to him that one time he complained of being cold that you never bothered taking back. You wonder if it’s just because he’s impossibly slow when it comes to love, or if it’s because he really doesn’t care. 

You desperately want it to be the former. 

“By the way,” Niki says from next to you as the two of you stretch for dance practice. “Who are you partnering up with for the group project?” 

You pause, turning to stare at Niki. “Partnering up? Isn’t it a solo project?”

“No, dumbass,” he sighs. “It’s a group project. We’re doing it in duos.” 

Fuck. 

“Oh my god,” you groan. “I’m so fucked. I didn’t know we were partnering up! Everyone’s probably got partners already.” 

“Ah,” he says, reaching up a hand to touch his cheek, a nervous tic he’s developed over the years. “Well, then, partner up with m—” 

Before he can finish the sentence, you feel someone tap you on the back. Turning around, you jump at the sight of Hwang Hyunjin standing before you. 

Hyunjin’s handsome. Catlike eyes, godly physique, and a contagious laugh. If you didn’t already have the fattest crush on Niki, you’d most definitely have a crush on Hyunjin instead. 

“Y/N, have you found a partner for the project yet?”

“Ah,” you say, slowly. You spare a sideways glance at Niki but find him looking down, eyes trained to the ground. “No, I haven’t.” 

His eyes brighten as he smiles at you. “Well, do you want to partner up with me? I don’t think we’ve ever gotten the chance to work together yet.” 

You pause. 

You and Niki have been dance partners for as long as you can remember, but you’re not exactly against the idea of working with someone new for a change. Besides, maybe it would be beneficial for both of you if you took a small break from each other. Especially for you, you think. You really need to sort out your feelings over Niki. 

So you smile and nod. “Sure, Hyunjin. That sounds great.” 

Hyunjin grins back at you, eyes curved into crescent moons. You swallow down the sudden feeling of guilt that makes its way up your throat when Niki abruptly turns to walk away, head hung low. 

“I mean,” Niki complains, taking another sip of his melon bubble tea with cheese foam. “What’s so great about Hyunjin anyway?” 

“I don’t know,” Jungwon hums. “I think he seems like a pretty nice guy. Plus, he’s a great dancer.” 

Niki turns to glare at him. “Can you please just agree with me for once instead of simping over Hyunjin? He’s not even that good of a dancer.” 

(That was a lie, actually. Even Niki’s got to admit that Hyunjin’s a talented dancer.)

Jungwon sighs. 

“Well, what do you want me to say? I don’t think he’s a bad dancer, and he seems like a nice guy to hang out with. He even helped me with one of my choreos when I was having a hard time.” 

Niki scoffs and stirs his straw through his bubble tea moodily. 

“If you’re mad that Y/N chose to partner up with Hyunjin instead of you, you can just say it, you know. I can already tell, anyway.” 

“I’m not mad!” Niki protests unconvincingly. “I just don’t think Hyunjin’s an adequate dance partner for Y/N!” 

Even so, he finds his thoughts constantly straying to the image of you and Hyunjin together. He can’t help but feel annoyed at the very idea; after all, you and him have been dance partners for forever. 

“Whatever,” Niki mumbles. “It’s not like I care.” 

“Jealousy is a disease,” Jungwon informs him. 

Niki throws a dirty napkin in his direction. 

“By the way,” Hyunjin says, smiling brightly at you. “I accidentally bought two tickets to the newest Doctor Strange movie instead of just one, and I’ve been wondering if you wanted to come with me. It’s this Friday.” 

You flush. “This Friday?” 

Hyunjin nods eagerly. 

You had originally planned on going ice skating with Niki this Friday. You hesitate for a moment, unsure of how to respond, and Hyunjin’s face falls in disappointment. 

“It’s fine if you don’t want to go,” he says. “I’m not trying to force you or anything, I just thought it would be nice to go see a movie together.” 

“Ah, it’s not that,” you say hastily. “It’s just that.. I’ve already got plans this Friday with friends.” 

“Oh, I see,” Hyunjin says. 

You nod, almost awkwardly. For a moment, the two of you stand there in tense silence before your phone vibrates in your backpocket. 

[6:42 pm] jake: u should come over to the dance studio. niki’s acting kind of off today

You grimace, before glancing back up at Hyunjin. “Do you mind if I cut our meeting short today? Something came up.” 

Hyunjin nods. “Yeah, it’s fine. I’ll text you a good time to meet up again sometime.” 

You nod your thanks and quickly exit the building, quickly making your way to the dance studio just a few blocks away. When you enter the building, you find Jake sitting by one of the tables, eyes glued to his physics book. 

“Where’s Niki?” you ask, looking around. 

“He’s in Dance Studio 3,” Jake says, without looking up from his book (because he for some reason enjoys torturing himself to an extent that he’d voluntarily study physics). “Sulking.”

“Why is he sulking?” you groan. “What did I do wrong now?”

Jake looks up to stare at you, studying you for a moment before shaking his head. “Do you really not know?”

“No, should I?”

Jake shakes his head again and tilts his head towards the dance studio. “Just go in and talk to him, I’m sure you’ll sort it out. 

When you slip into the dance studio, you find Niki sitting on the ground, back pressed to the mirror as he scrawls on a piece of paper— most likely choreographing. He doesn’t look up when you approach. 

“Niki.”

He pointedly ignores you, eyes trained to his lap. 

“Niki.” 

When he doesn’t look up for the second time, you squat down next to him, gazing at him quietly. “Hyunjin asked if I wanted to go see the newest Doctor Strange movie with him this Friday.”

Niki flinches as if you slapped him across the face and finally looks up, eyes hard and slightly glassy. 

“Ah,” he says, slowly. “That sounds like fun. I hope you have a really fucking grand time with Hyunjin, your new dance partner, since apparently I’m not good enough for you.”

You wince. “I never said—”

“You don’t have to say it for me to know it,” he snaps. For a moment, his indifferent facade falls apart and you catch a glimpse of the hurt written across his face, although it quickly fades away into anger. Scoffing, he looks back down to the paper and picks up his pen, preparing to continue whatever choreography he was previously working on. 

You quickly grab his hand before he can uncap the pen, gazing at him beseechingly. He freezes, staring down at the intertwined hands lying in his lap in surprise. 

“Niki, please hear me out,” you beg. “Besides, I told Hyunjin I couldn’t go.”

That grabs his attention. He stares at you, eyes wide with shock. “Why?”

“We were going to go ice skating on Friday together, remember?”

He doesn’t reply, but his eyes soften a fraction of a degree. 

“Just.. hear me out, okay?” you plead. 

You take his silence as a yes. 

Taking a deep breath, you think of the past few years you’ve spent falling in love with Niki. The countless days you have spent by his side in anguish, too afraid to confess in fear of ruining your friendship entirely. But you have come to learn that there are some things worth ruining and your friendship with Niki just happens to be one of them. Because there’s this aching in your chest whenever you set your eyes on him and the lightest dusting of freckles across his cheeks from going strawberry picking with you just a few weeks ago and every fiber of your being feels programmed to adore Nishimura Riki, with his stupidly attractive bangs and his strange obsession with bungeoppang. Because there’s this sensation that consumes you wholly whenever you’re around him, this weird feeling that yeah, this is it. I wouldn’t mind spending the rest of eternity by his side.

You clear your throat.

“Remember when we went hiking with the rest of the group a few months ago? On that mountain?”

Niki’s eyes flash with recognition, although he doesn’t say a word. 

“Sunoo had black hair at the time, I think.”

“I clearly remember him having pink hair.”

“No, he had—” you clear your throat. “Whatever. That’s unimportant. What I’m trying to say is, we were all so tired and sweaty when we were hiking and everyone was so annoyed at Jungwon because he had forced us to go hiking in the first place. And just when we were about to turn back, we finally reached the summit of the mountain and everyone just fucking froze there for like, a good 30 seconds because the view was just that gorgeous. And then we all took off our coats and just stood there, all sweaty and exhausted, admiring the scenery before Jake started chasing Jay around and then we all just started laughing and—” 

“Remind me why you’re telling me this again?”

“Shut up,” you snap. “I’m getting there. So anyways, we were all fooling around on top of this mountain in front of this gorgeous view and you had your camera with you so you were walking around snapping pictures of everyone. And Sunghoon kept on complaining because he thought your camera made him look way uglier than he actually was and everyone kept on bursting into laughter because Heeseung couldn’t stop laughing for the picture and he kept on doing that thing he does where he opens his mouth like a fucking frog to keep from laughing except it wasn’t working and we were holding hands—”

“I don’t ever recall us holding hands.”

“Well, I do, okay? Now, stop interrupting. So we were holding hands because I had complained that my hands were cold and I just remember thinking that like, even if college tears us apart and even if it’s all just downhill from here on out, at least I had this memory, you know? At least I had this memory of all of us gathered together on this mountain, all sweaty and shit, just feeling on top of the fucking world. And I also remember thinking that if I could freeze time and just die in this moment, I totally fucking would. Because, like, we were holding hands for fucks’s sake. And you were smiling at me all happy and— God, I just remember feeling like this must be my most beautiful moment in life. Up there on that mountain, holding hands with you, laughing my ass off just because Heeseung couldn’t stop cracking up to take a picture.”

Niki’s eyes have softened by the time you’ve finished. You’re all out of breath and anxious, gazing at him quietly. ”What I mean to say is, I’ve liked you for forever now, okay? And Hyunjin’s not going to get in the way of that.”

“You could have just said those last 2 sentences and been done with it. You didn’t have to go through that whole ass essay, you know?”

You roll your eyes. “I just poured out my fucking heart to you and that’s what you tell me?”

Niki ducks his head to hide the smile tugging on his lips. 

“Hm, I don’t know,” he says, feigning indecision. “I normally would have accepted your confession but given the recent circumstances with Hyunjin…”

You sigh and decide to resort to Plan B. Which is, to say, just fuck it all and go for it. 

Leaning forward, you cup Niki’s jaw and press your lips against his own. For a brief moment, you feel Niki tense from underneath you, all rigid muscle and smooth skin, but he relaxes into the kiss almost instantly, reaching out an arm to hook it around your waist, pulling you closer. You sigh into his lips and lean into his touch when he reaches up a hand to run a hand through your hair, impossibly warm as he tightens his arms around you. 

You eventually pull back after a long moment, leaning back to sit on your heels, panting. “Do you believe me now?” you breathe, staring at Niki. 

He laughs and nods as he leans forward, reaching for you. Just when you’re about to wrap your arms around him (and possibly kiss some more), the door bursts open and the rest of the group jostles in. You sigh as the air fills with cheers and catcalls. You should have known they’d do something like this. 

Jake slaps Niki on the back so hard in congratulations that he falls forward and most likely would have face planted right into the wooden floorboards of the dance studio had Sunghoon not caught him by the waist just in time while Heeseung grins at you almost triumphantly, as if he was the one that single handedly brought you and Niki together. 

Jungwon nudges Jay’s shoulder. “Yah, hyung, you owe me 20,000 won.”

Jay grumbles but reaches into his pocket anyways for his wallet to hand Jungwon a handful of banknotes. 

The realization hits you a few moments later. 

You narrow your eyes. “Were you two.. betting on whether or not me and Niki would end up together?”

Jungwon grins and holds up his handful of banknotes. “It was worth betting on!”

You decide to postpone beating the shit out of Yang Jungwon for another day, just because you don’t want to ruin this one. Especially since you just found the guts to finally confess to Nishimura Riki after years of pining. 

You lean into Niki’s touch when he pulls you down to the floor next to him and presses a kiss to your cheekbone, lips curving into a smile against your skin. Sunghoon lets out a very loud (and very exaggerated) groan of disgust while Jay yanks out his phone to snap a picture of you and Niki together (most likely for blackmail) and you can’t help but laugh at it all because it’s been a very long time since things felt so right. An even longer time since you’ve felt this happy. 

And yeah, you’ve still got a bunch of overdues to finish off tonight and you’re still terrified at the very thought of college but even so, with Niki pressed to your side like this as he snakes his arms around your waist, you can’t help but feel as if you’d gladly face whatever the future throws at you as long as he stays right here by your side. 

---

WHiTE FERRARi — lee heeseung .𖥔 ݁ ˖

SYNOPSIS — "i'm sure we're taller in another dimension, you say we're small and not worth the mention"

PAIRING — bf! lee heeseung x gf!fem reader

GENRE(S) — angst, heartbreak, nostalgia, romance (with a gut wrenching twist) fluff in one scene if u squint ...

WARNING(S) — emotional distress, angst, unresolved feelings, unspoken love, unrequited love, grief, nostalgia, sad/bittersweet ending, emotional PAIN,

WORDCOUNT — 1.7k

the hum of the engine filled the car, but the quiet between you and heeseung was deafening. he drove with the same rhythm as always, but it wasn’t the same. not anymore. the road stretched out before you both, a reminder of how far you’d come—and how far you had left to go, with or without him.

you glanced at him briefly. his face was stiff, like he was holding onto something, or maybe like he was trying to keep himself from falling apart. maybe you were too.

“do you ever think about what we used to be?” you asked softly.

heeseung didn’t respond immediately. his eyes stayed fixed on the road, his hands gripping the wheel. but you knew the answer, and it cut deeper than you wanted it to.

“yeah,” he finally said, his voice quiet.

you took a deep breath. “me too.”

the silence that followed was heavier than before, and in that moment, everything you had avoided hit you full force.

a flash of a memory surfaced in your mind, sharp and clear, a time when you were both happy, when everything felt so simple.

—

it was late one summer evening, just after the sun had dipped behind the horizon. you and heeseung were sitting on the roof of his apartment building, the city lights below flickering like a thousand tiny stars. he had his arm around you, and you had your head resting against his shoulder, watching as the sky bled into darker shades of blue and purple.

“this is nice,” you murmured.

“yeah,” heeseung said, voice soft, content. he turned to you, his lips quirking up at the corners. “it’s just us.”

you looked up at him, your heart swelling with something warm and unexplainable. back then, you thought this was forever.

“just us,” you repeated, and everything felt like it was falling into place.

heeseung looked at you, his gaze gentle, but there was something else in his eyes—a depth you couldn’t quite read. something that felt fragile, like it could slip through your fingers if you weren’t careful.

“i never want to forget this,” he said quietly, his voice serious for the first time.

you smiled, brushing your thumb against his hand. “you won’t. i won’t let you.”

—

the memory faded just as quickly as it had come, leaving only the ache of its absence.

you blinked, the present crashing back into focus. the car, the night, the unspoken words between you and heeseung.

heeseung cleared his throat, his eyes flicking to you for a moment before quickly looking away. “i thought we’d be different,” he said. “i thought we’d find a way back.”

“i thought so too,” you whispered, staring out the window. you wished you could reach out, say something to ease the weight that had settled between you both. but it felt too late for that now.

"we were different back then,” heeseung continued, his voice raw. “i thought… i thought maybe if i let go, if i gave you space, you’d be okay. but i didn’t know how to fix it.”

you let the tears fall then, quietly, no sobs, just a steady stream of hurt you couldn’t hold back anymore. you thought you’d moved past this. thought you could exist in the same room with him without falling apart.

“why didn’t you come back?” you whispered, voice cracking.

heeseung didn’t answer right away. you could feel the hesitation in the way he gripped the wheel. the car slowed as he took a breath.

"i don’t know,” he said finally, voice barely audible. “i thought i lost you the second i let you go. and i couldn’t… i couldn’t fix it. not after everything that happened.”

you turned to look at him then, the tears clouding your vision, but his face was unreadable, like he was trying to hold everything together, trying not to break.

“i was waiting,” you said quietly, voice trembling. “i was waiting for you to come back. to fight for us.”

heeseung’s face twisted, a flash of pain flickering across it. “i know. and i’m sorry.”

but the words were hollow. empty. he wasn’t sorry enough. he hadn’t fought for you when it mattered.

you wiped away the tear that escaped down your cheek and let out a shaky breath. “i’m not the same person anymore, heeseung. i don’t know if i can go back to how we were.”

heeseung’s grip on the wheel tightened, and for a moment, you thought he might say something else, something to make this make sense. but he didn’t.

the rest of the drive passed in silence, and you both stayed locked in your own pain. the road stretched on ahead, but you both knew there was no going back.

AUTHORS NOTE — what came out after listening to white ferrari for the first time in like 10 months.. also lowkey thinking of doing something inspired from that one scene in the notebook where allie was reading the letter in the car !!! idk lmk what u guys think 😛😛

© callikari -- all rights reserved

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AAHHHH I AM NOT OKAY!!! THIS IS SO CUTE!!!

always japan — best friends to lovers, eventual timeskip

synposis. the three times nishimura riki was your best friend, and the one time he was more (4.2k words)

note. this is for @kflixnet’s lights camera action event! btw pretend they all go to school in japan !!

warning. getting hit by a ball

EVERYTHING ABOUT NISHIMURA RIKI WAS ALWAYS GO GO GO. His life is chock full of energy and activities, he can barely remember any of them. He doesn’t have the time to stay put in one spot, he doesn’t have time to sit down and recharge - he’s always running and running and barely remembering anything in his calendar. But somehow, amidst the mess he calls his life, the one thing he’s always able to recall is going to your house every Friday night.

He never misses it - no matter how tough school was, no matter how long practice keeps them, no matter how tired he is - he’s always at your house on Friday night, and everyone knows this.

Common questions have definitely flown by in the familiar words of: “where’s Riki? Aren’t we all getting dinner together?” or “Why did Riki run out of the studio so quickly?” and Sunoo and Jungwon would always answer in unison - “At _____’s.” accompanied by knowing looks.

Which explains why Nishimura Riki’s busy bumbling self is seated beside you, eating dinner, conversation swayed by your common hatred for school and love for your mother’s cooking. Mid-conversation, you find Riki sneakily trying to steal food off of your plate which elicits you to smack his hand away, mouth full as you shoot him a playful glare.

“I’ll stop stealing your food if you tell me how amazing I am.” His face is lit up with joy as usual, pink dusting his cheeks as he sends you his signature smile, and you can’t help but smile fondly at the boy seated next to you, especially with his cheeks puffed up with food and his grin reaching his eyes.

You snap back to reality when he, yet again, tries to steal pieces of your food which earns him yet another lovely smack and a teasing poke of your tongue. When you schooch away playfully, he’s moving his chair at the same pace - if not, closer to you than he was before.

He’s mocking you, imitating your actions from earlier but there’s a smile tugging on his lips and you couldn’t help but smile right back at him, heart full of comfort and warmth, that you don’t realize Riki looking at you as if you put the sun and stars in the sky, as if you were the butterflies in his stomach whenever he was with you.

The sweet moment is cut short when Riki slides an arm around you mid-conversation. You glance at his arm suspiciously before moving to narrow your eyes at him, his smile is mischievous and he’s shrugging to try and hide the laugh that’s threatening to leave his lips.

You’re about to ask him why the hell he was trying to coddle you while the two of you were eating when his hand makes contact with your cheek, and you immediately recognize it as the familiar texture of icing from the cake the two of you bought on your way home.

Your mouth falls open, and in response, you’re quick to fill your utensils up with food from your plate before you’re tossing it at his face, smiling triumphantly. He doesn’t let your victory linger on for too long before he’s smearing more of his food on your face.

He’s trying to hold back his laughter, really trying, but when you grumpily throw some more beans his way, he can’t help but laugh - and it felt so good to be laughing with someone, instead of being laughed at, sometimes he forgets he’s only human and he’s not immune to pain. Then again, he smiles so much and he’s always so giving that it’s easy to convince anyone he’s not bothered by nearly anything.

The smug look on his face doesn’t help the infatuation that’s building up from your stomach, but you’re quick to try and let it sink, preferring for it to remain as pits of debris before you can truly figure out your feelings. You’d often find yourself weighing the options of confessing, but the thought of losing the one person that made you feel so alive was too much of a risk.

Unbeknownst to you, Riki’s been stuck dealing with those thoughts too.

You try to flick your left-over food towards him but he’s quick to grip your wrist, and he’s sticking his tongue out at you at your attempt to even the game, and when he reaches out to smear sauce all over your face, you’re demanding for a truce.

“Tell me I’m the greatest, most funniest and handsome person you’ve ever met and then I’ll consider it.” His tone is playful and he’s giving you a devilish look that you choose to be apathetic at how he’d been redundant on most funniest. His smile was too wide - and while you know it’s not a hard task to say those words because they’re true, the thought of getting a rise from your best friend is much more worth it.

“I don’t know… I don’t think Jungwon would appreciate me handing the title to someone else.” The look of betrayal that crosses his face sends you into immediate laughter, and he’s deflating like a lost puppy. “My two best friends cannot be plotting against me, besides I thought I was your number one! We’ll travel the world together someday, you know.”

You take his face in your hands and the soft smile you’re giving him is enough for the bursts of energy to come back and in no time, he’s exaggerating his pout to try and get you to take back your words. “You are the greatest, most funniest…” He’s waiting for you to continue, a triumphant grin hidden behind his faux expression of upsetness, but he’s too caught up in the way your face is inches apart from one another that he doesn’t notice your hand deviating from his cheek to take a hand full of icing, and just when he’s about to tell you to keep going, he’s met with a hand full of cream, and the gasp he lets out sounds like pure and utter betrayal.

Before he can counter attack, the familiar voice of your mother cuts through the chaos, and he’s mouthing “this isn’t over” at you while he’s cleaning up the table so it isn’t much of a hassle for your mother. He knows not to worry from the hint of laughter in your mother’s tone.

Years of friendship has gotten her accustomed to you and Riki’s antics, so she simply tells the both of you to clean up as she takes your plates from the tables so she could start washing up. “Sorry!” Riki’s grin is cheeky, and your mom is quick to tell him it’s alright - besides, she’s never seen her child as happy as you are when you’re with him, and Riki has grown to be a significant part of your family as he’d practically been stuck to your hip since childhood.

When your mom finishes up the small talk, you and Riki face each other to look at the damage you both had done, and god, the two of you looked so ridiculous that you’re hurling towards each other in laughter, tears almost leaving your eyes as you try and pant for air.

After the hefty task of cleaning up, you’re both making your way up to your room and in no time, Riki’s sprawled on your couch, bag of stolen snacks from your kitchen in his hands (despite just eating dinner), his legs tangling within yours as he makes grand gestures with his hands to tell you what happened in his day, topics he wasn’t able to gloss over during dinner (he claims the hand gestures help him explain better, not that you don’t already know, but you allow him to tell you again if it meant he’d keep smiling like that).

The movie playing is long forgotten and deemed as background noise as the two of you continue to chat about your days. The moment you yawn, Riki is grabbing onto your hand and pulling you towards his side.

You’re trying to ignore the familiar feeling of butterflies swaying from your stomach towards your heart, because you’re best friends, you’ve cuddled more times than you can count - but that doesn’t mean it’s any easier to ignore the bubbling yearning that’s screaming in your system. The fact that he’s never this fond of physical touch with anyone else is another blow to your already fragile heart.

His lips part just enough for a comfortable sigh to leave his lips, and he’s tucking his head under your chin, hands resting under your shirt and on normal days, you’d complain about how cold they were, but you today - you can’t seem to push away the peaceful looking boy.

His eyes, glinting with the light of your lamp, trail over the collection of photos on your wall and he finds himself smiling at the polaroid from when you two were kids; he’s pulling a silly face at the camera and you’re standing beside him giving your brightest smile. The photo beside it is when you two had just graduated from middle school, and he’s hugging you so tightly. The sight of you reminds him it’s okay to stop running for a while.

He lets his eyes lock onto yours just in time to see you drift into a peaceful slumber. With him, it was always colors and food fights and brightness and gentle hugs and safety.

-

NISHIMURA RIKI HAS A KNACK FOR TRYING TO IMPRESS YOU whenever you were around to watch their practice, and his friends liked to make fun of him for it. He didn’t mind though - somehow the sound of your laughter made up for the embarrassment he felt.

They wonder how you hadn’t caught on to Riki’s feelings, but then again, your friends wonder the same thing about him.

When you finished your club, you still had about 20 minutes before Riki would end practice, which prompted a few of your friends to walk with you whilst you made your way towards the studio to observe the remainder of Riki’s practice.

“I know he finds you cute, so has he tried confessing to you?”

“You find him cute too, it’s only fair. When will he make a move?”

You wave them off, laughing nervously as you shrug your shoulders. “We’re just best friends.”

“And you really expect us to believe that?” Their eyebrows are perked up and they’re looking at you with so much conviction you’re convinced they’ve figured out that you’re madly in love with him, but before they could say anything else, you excuse yourself to get inside the dance practice studio.

Your friends leave you to your own devices, and you can hear one last “you’re whipped!” before they make their way out of the campus and start their trek towards the comfort of their own homes.

The moment Riki’s eyes meet yours, an extra surge of excitement fills him and his face is completely lit up. And for what seemed like forever, the only words that really left his mouth while he was practicing were calls of your name. You didn’t really mind, then again, you did find it quite admirable - especially with the way he’d look at you every single time he’d perfect a move - especially with the way his grin would grow tenfold when you send him a small thumbs up and a smile to indicate that you did, infact, see his dancing.

You remain seated on the floor while they finish up practicing, and chaos is spilling from the studio. Sunoo and Sunghoon are arguing over something that only they could understand - Jake and Heeseung are excitedly trying to talk to each other between desperate gasps for air as practice had taken much of the breath they needed.

All of this, you didn’t mind. In fact, in a way, this had become a place of comfort, and you found serenity within the sound of pure and utter mess and the boys who you had become really close friends with. How could you not? Riki would babble about you, even when you weren’t there. Admittedly, his friends had told you they had known almost everything about you before even getting the chance to meet you.

And aside from the overbearing boys who’d grown protective of you over the course of knowing you, there was just a certain stillness to the air that allowed for you to breathe, that allowed you to sneak in an unforced smile - most especially your best friend who was excitedly waving at you from his spot on the studio.

In this studio, with Riki glancing at you everytime he’s at the center, there is no forced smile. There is no burden in your head. There is only your best friend smiling brightly at you. There is only the sound of the footwork. There is only peace.

Or at least you thought, before you’re struck in the head with the football they were utilizing for their choreography and the wooden floor makes contact with your butt. You’re too shocked to say anything and there's a quiet ringing in your ears, almost like static, which didn’t allow for you to notice Riki’s panicked look.

There’s childish shrieks and multiple footsteps heading your way, frantic apologises from - Jake? You can’t quite tell because Riki’s striking voice is cutting through their murmurs and mutters and he’s asking if you’re okay. Your face is in his hands and his eyes are searching yours.

The nod of your head is meek, but it’s enough for him to start trying to assess the damage, even going as far as asking Jungwon for help even though the ball never really did cause major harm, and everyone could see that. Everyone except Riki whose worry just kept growing and growing. His voice is laced with so much concern that you’re starting to second guess whether you were really okay even though you were totally positive that you were not injured at all. He was just speaking with so much care that you’re starting to believe that maybe he was right, maybe you were injured.

He doesn’t let go of you after that, excusing himself from practice so that you could begin your trek home earlier than usual.

“Still don’t want to admit I’m the greatest, most funniest handsome person you’ve ever met?”

That day, you were introduced to the sight of a really concerned Riki, different from all the times he’d been concerned about you. It was different to when you scraped your knee at age eleven, or when he chased away that boy trying to hit on you at age fourteen. This time, his features were laced with something else, something you couldn’t quite place yet and you’re only reassured over and over again of how much he really cares about you.

-

NISHIMURA RIKI LIKES TO DO EVERYTHING HE’S TOLD NOT TO which is why the two of you are currently running away from your seething teacher. You’re flowing with so much adrenaline, and you’re slowly starting to lose feeling of your legs from the distance you’ve managed to run, but Riki’s hand in yours is enough to keep your legs moving, unceasing.

You’re reminded that your best friend is never afraid of anything - he’s always able to break you out of your shell and allow for you to live a little. He keeps you grounded with his hand-me-down clothes and messy hair making you trinquets you never asked for.

It was a harmless prank, really. The bucket of whipped cream was originally supposed to fall on the head of one of your school bullies, but instead, it had fallen on your teacher. That didn’t make it less of an enjoyable sight though, which sent the two of you racing through the hallways of Belift High, trying to avoid suffering the inevitable consequences of your actions.

You’re tightly holding onto each other’s hand, sprinting the distance of the school. “This way.” He’s tugging at your hand, pulling you around the corner before shoving you inside the janitor’s closet, your desperate pants being the only sound within the close space of the room. Your knees are grazing each other and you’re both trying to peek out of the door to see if you’re close to being caught.

Your heart is beating erratically in your chest, with his rhythm dancing a similar beat against yours. His lips are drawn in a wide smile, sweat dripping down his forehead as he breathes heavily.

“Doesn’t it feel good to just live? And if anything goes south, don’t worry. I’ll take the fall! I’m just glad you’re here with me.” He’s grinning brightly at you, thumbs pointing to himself with a smirk slowly starting to replace the bright smile that was gracing his pretty features.

Before you can respond, you see the familiar head of hair pass by the closet the two of you were cramped in. By instinct, you reach out to cover his mouth. You continue to look outside the door, and he follows suit because you two did not just bolt through the entire distance of the school just to be caught that quickly. And the two of you do a good job at keeping quiet for a while, but the moment your eyes meet, you burst out into a hysterical laughter.

He’s gripping your shoulders and you're gripping his arms, and your sides are hurting so much from laughing. The image of you alone, of you cackling to yourself, not aware of how enchanting you look or how beautiful you sound is the purest definition of heaven to Riki.

Time slowed, and stilled. It was just the two of you in the empty, sun-lit room.

And maybe it was the thrill of getting caught, or the spur of the moment, or the fact that if you moved a few inches, your lips would finally be able to meet with his (the way you’ve dreamed of) but you found yourself happy. Truly, completely happy to be in this moment - with your best friend whose eyes are shining like a thousand stars and whose voice dripped with the personification of freedom. He is what it feels like to be free, to be seen, to be heard in a world of constant noise.

In that closet, you finally feel alive, you finally feel unrestrained - loose. With him, you feel the most human.

-

THE MOMENT YOU GRADUATED, THE TWO OF YOU WERE QUICK TO take on the world together - the way you had been planning to at the age of fourteen. Your parents knew the two of you were ambitious and very capable, and they knew that whatever the two of you currently have is good and this was what the two of you needed. For what reason? They don’t know just yet.

Your parents think that maybe along the way, it’ll help the two of you finally realize how in love you are with each other in the way they’ve always known since the two of you dressed up in some dumb matching costumes at nine, smiling brightly at the camera with Riki pulling the silliest face he could muster to get you to laugh.

You’re cramped with goodbyes and hugs before the two of you step on a plane and start feeling like humans again. No longer trapped, no longer caged - though it never really did feel that way when you were with Riki.

And your plan followed.

It’s travelling the remains of Japan you two weren’t able to see before going to Italy and to Germany then back to Japan. Australia and Philippines to Canada and Japan again.

The two of you go fishing, and you breathe against each other’s back as the two of you rest after one of the longest hikes up a mountain just to see the sunset. There’s skydiving and deep sea diving to see the fishes and admire the corals. There’s impromptu car rides that lead you to nowhere and everywhere all at once. There’s dancing to the sound of musicians playing on the street.

Brazil to New Zealand to Switzerland and still Japan. Korea, China, Thailand, Japan. Vietnam, Hong Kong, Japan. Spain, Russia, Singapore, Rome, Egypt and Japan all over again.

It’s visiting museums, learning about the history of each country you visit and then you’re off to the oceans and forests and all the beautiful sights you could possibly see. There’s leaping over fences and gates and falling asleep on each other on plane rides. There’s hand holding and secret glances and gentle smiles, and within all of this, you two always end up back in Japan.

It was always Japan no matter where the two of you reached. And maybe it was because that was the place the two of you met each other, the place where the two of you grew up in, the place where the two of you realized you had feelings in, the place that brought back so many memories that complimented all the new memories you were making. Maybe it was because of the countless times you and he had tried to confess under the shining lights of Tokyo that always led you back there.

So you continue traveling and traveling, but it always comes back to Japan. Always Japan.

And as luck would have it, you found yourselves back.

It was a quiet night, the two of you sat in silence, gazing at Belift High where you shared almost everything in. That was where you saw him cry for the first time, where you finally allowed yourself to be vulnerable around him, where you had your first fight when he got suspended, where the two of you made up and sobbed in each other’s arms, where he and his friends won a national dance contest and he spent the whole night celebrating at your house, where he defended you from everyone, and where you defended him right back. Belift High was where you leaped into his arms over little victories, and took him in yours over all the losses.

Normally, at night, you’d noticed it was bathed in a kind of glow from the lights dotted around the building. It had always looked like that from all the times you’d walked home late after waiting for Riki to finish practice. But tonight, under a full moon, it seemed flooded in an ethereal brightness.

So there you two are, in the dark, with the thousands of stars and the infinite sky, with his hand in yours and your head on his shoulders and him smiling and your heart bursting with something you couldn’t quite identify.

He risks a glance at you, and it’s enough to have him double take the decisions he was currently making in his head. Riki has always been the type to say yes before thinking about it, and he hated having to wait. Yearning for you over all those years has brought him into a state of frustration because he knew he had so much to offer, he had so much love to give, he just had so much.

Not being able to love you was a different type of emptiness - an emptiness that no adventure, no country, no event could ever fill, and he thinks maybe tonight is finally the night, and for the first time in so long, he’s reminded to stop running.

Everything about Riki’s life was always go go go, but somehow, tonight was different. It was quiet, rare, and he realizes nothing has been chasing him, and he finally stops running for just a single moment.

So in the dark, with the thousands of the stars and the infinite sky, with his hand in yours and his head on his shoulders, he finds himself searching for your eyes and in a moment of utter clarity, a direct contrast of the chaos that is his life, he kisses you.

He finally allows himself to kiss you, and from the way time stilled - just like it did when you were cramped in that closet all those years ago - he knew that what he was doing was right. He knows that he loves you with no hurry, and he doesn’t know how to love otherwise because you’re all he’s ever known and he has been so in love with you that nothing could ever compare to the feeling of you kissing him back. You were kissing him back, and the overwhelming sensation of having the person he deemed his soulmate - his home - kissing him back allows a few tears to escape, and the moon shines enough for you to see the track of his tears. It’s you - it always has been, and it always will be.

He breathes in the scent of your skin, feeling your hair under his fingertips, trying to memorize every single detail of your first kiss. Everything just seemed to vanish, and in that moment, it was just you and him, under the infinite sky and the thousands of stars.

In that moment, you were finally something more.

permanent taglist. @giyyuzz @ja4hyvn @candidupped @ily-cuz-i @amakumos

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CALCU-CRUSH! ♡ p. sunghoon

୨୧ SMAU! SYNOPSIS -›  Yeah, Park Sunghoon might be just a little annoying- but hey! at least he can help you get an A in AP CALC, and he will never a crush on you to make things super weird and complicated, right?

୨୧ PAIR  -› math tutor!sunghoon x chem nerd! y/n ft. jake and wonyoung

୨୧ GENRE  -› highschool au | ୨୧ TROPE  -› idiots to lovers

୨୧ INCLUDES  -› idk man they're just idiots LOL

୨୧ REN SAYS... me when i don't want to write the written chapter for get better so i create a whole new smau because i finally have gotten around to doing smaus and text posts for enha also nae taught me how to add colors and i havent looked back ever since LOLL thank u user dioll !! alsoo the name is calculus but the lus is replaced with crush its not calc crush its calcucrush !!!!

୨୧ DONE!

PROFILES (powerpuff gals /// mathletes turned baddies)

01 ♡ bombed like the bathrooms

02 ♡ $300 on a kpop ticket

03 ♡ cognitive dissonance

04 ♡ holding hands in rugby stands

05 ♡ operation jacket around shoulders

06 ♡ WRONG JACKET ABORT MISSION

07 ♡ feelings? yea i still have touch

08 ♡ if you want to date her by 40

09 ♡ cured from stupidity sickness

10 ♡ he hits me (his girlfriend)

© all rights are reserved to mygnolia 2024. republished, translated, and/or heavily referenced work will be reported and removed immediately.

୨୧ PERM TAGLIST @dimplewonie send ask or dm to be added!

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