"best Friend" I Write, As If Every Relationship In This Podcast Is Not A Homoerotic Metaphor For The

WVERYONE is raving about the pig carousel, I’m still on that hellishly good monologue from last episode… I’ve listened to it so many times I might have it memorized

NO I have misinterpreted the voices… they say… DO YOUR HOMEWORK DUMBASS. They are so mean to me… I’m just a complex being! I should not be bothered with trivial tasks like homework or car insurance. I should only be stirred in matters of true crisis (lesbians)

Mmmmmm yes…. The voices…. The voices are telling me to dig! I just dig a hole! And jump in! And never come out! Then I’ll never have to pay taxes or car insurance!

Google how do I stop being so sad over things I can’t control?

Google how do i tell people I’m non-binary without actually telling them?

Google how do I fix climate change?

Google how to be happy?

Google how to breathe clean air?

Google how do I take over the government?

Google how to run a secret coup?

Google who are my best allies?

Google how tf?

realizing i am essentially a god presiding over my creations. and i choose to put them in chaotic situations. anyways heres me picking one up

Me looking at my phone screen right before reblogging every single one of my friend’s posts

I’m into so many things it’s not funny

Am I allowed to call this a sketch dump

How do not pay car insurance

It’s both the best and worst communication I’ve ever heard

The tragedy of Sam talking to Melanie and Georgie is that he doesn’t know to mention the computer voices and he didn’t know to mention the Magnus institute and he won’t talk about Celia and we’re all sitting here violently shaking everyone in that room like if you would just TALK TO EACHOTHER