I Am God.

John Boyega in that purple suit at the Star Wars premier might be the best a man has ever looked at any red carpet event in history. It was such a look.

A Friendly Reminder

- Deadpool is insecure - Deadpool has chronic pain - Deadpool is submissive in bed - Deadpool is pansexual - Deadpool lifts up his mask so Hawkeye can read his lips - Deadpool is a blonde - Deadpool’s initials are WWW - Deadpool had an abusive father - Deadpool’s mother died from cancer - Deadpool fell in love with a teenager - Deadpool left her because he didn’t want to hurt her - Deadpool had a daughter - Deadpool didn’t believe she was his because she was too beautiful - Deadpool had to be dragged away from his daughter’s dead body by Cap and Wolverine - Deadpool carries Hello Kitty band aids - Deadpool is good with kids - Deadpool can’t be killed by Ghost Rider because he doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong - Deadpool hates himself - Deadpool used to curl up in a ball and mumble about his skin hurting - Deadpool is married to the queen of the undead - Deadpool reads his own comics

Conclusion: Wade Winston Wilson is a beautiful man who must be protected.

me to my future self that has to wake up early tomorrow: im sorry im such an asshole and havent gone to bed yet

A silly little Spiderverse/Rebels crossover

So many modern detectives have tried to emulate Sherlock Holmes, and none of them have even come CLOSE to touching Benoit Blanc. That man is Holmes' true spiritual successor. He's a silly little guy. He's gay. He's a drama queen. He has impeccable fashion sense. He loves music. He works with the cops but refuses to work for them. His voice is both goofy and incredibly fun to listen to. He sucks at playing Clue and Among Us. He mopes in the bathtub for weeks when he doesn't have a case. He loves hanging out with The Girls but gets incredibly uncomfortable when women flirt with him. The only reason he can afford his gorgeous downtown apartment is because his husband works a real job.* The only thing he hates more than Rich Assholes are Stupid Rich Assholes. He solved a double (attempted triple) homicide and the thing that made him most upset was plagiarism. He supports women's rights and women's wrongs. He refuses to break the law himself but actively encourages his client to commit arson.

And, most importantly, he and Holmes would fucking love each other. If most of the modern day detectives inspired by Holmes ever met him, he would probably want to kill them with hammers, but he and Blanc would probably end up being penpals and sending each other newspaper clippings about crime or some shit. And I can absolutely envision a teenage Blanc reading the Holmes stories and being like, "Wait, being a silly little gay private detective is a viable career option? Well, I guess I've finally found my calling in life."

Anyway I love the Benoit Blanc movies and I hope they make a million of them

*confirmed by Rian Johnson

Like this if you cry every time. Not at anything specific you just cry a lot.

New Yorker Tyeesha Mobley was at a gas station near her Bronx apartment with her two sons when she caught the older boy, aged nine, stealing $10 out of her purse. Thinking this was a good opportunity to teach him a lesson about honesty and consequences, she called the police, asking them to help her communicate the seriousness of stealing.

When the police arrived, however, Mobley’s Arrested Development-style lesson quickly escalated into a terrifying situation. Three of the four officers who arrived at the gas station apparently understood that this was a lighthearted call. 

“They started asking Tyleke what did he take,” said Mobley. “He told them. And about three officers was joking around with him, telling him, ‘You can’t be stealing, you’ll wind up going in the police car.’”

The fourth cop, however, had different ideas. He began yelling: “You black b——es don’t know how to take care of your kids … why are you wasting our time, we aren’t here to raise your kid … why don’t you take your f—-ing kid and leave?”

When she tried to follow his order, Mobley says the fourth officer arrested her, refusing to give a reason. While she and her children cried for him to stop, one of the other officers attempted to intervene, saying, “We are not supposed to act like this.”

He replied, “Black b——es like that … this is how I treat them.”

After her arrest, Mobley was hospitalized for the bruises she’d sustained on her legs thanks to the fourth cop kicking her during the arrest. She successfully fought off child endangerment charges—a pretty interesting charge given that the “endangerment” in question seems to have been calling the police.

Mobley’s two children were placed in foster care for four months, where they reportedly received sub-par care. Now, having recovered her children—who have undoubtedly learned a very different lesson than the one she intended to teach—Mobley is suing the NYPD.

And, to paraphrase J. Walter Weatherman, that’s why you don’t call the police.