ALL CAPS.

louis is going down as one of the characters of all time btw. there's something about characters who are so deeply repressed in every facet of their lives continuously fighting for happiness, yet ultimately unable to achieve that happiness because they've denied themselves for so long that they no longer know what they actually want vs what they've convinced themselves to chase.

and it's fascinating, because that's so clear in the way that louis conceptualizes happiness by fighting for the things previously denied to him; the spectre of his perceived failures as a human haunt him and preclude the possibility at any new lease on happiness in the future. he wants to buy the fairplay because he links success with respect, and respect with fulfillment: the idea that as soon as his (white) peers are forced to admit he's a better businessman than them, he'll be happy. except he isn't happy, because there is no goal post at which point they'll accept he's smarter or more capable than them, and so instead he's forced back into a game that will never fulfill him, no matter how powerful or capable he becomes.

and then he tries to build a family, tries to surround himself with people who he can care for and who he can have a positive impact on, building connections for himself and bringing meaning to his life. which also doesn't work, because he's simultaneously haunting and haunted by his human family, and there's no way for him to reconcile what he's lost with what he's gained. he wants grace, and he could have grace, but he's spent his entire life knowing that every facet of himself is unacceptable to society, that he can't admit what he is without also being condemned for it. and it doesn't matter that grace isn't society, that grace would accept him - he is, to his own mind, an unacceptable thing. to admit what he is out loud could only lead to catastrophe, because to think anything less is dangerous to the very principles that allow him to exist.

and so instead of having grace in his life, he has claudia. and he can love claudia and he can adore claudia, but he can not find a connection to humanity in her, because she isn't and doesn't want to be human. he has, in his quest to find meaning and connection with humanity, surrounded himself with monsters.

and then he has lestat. lestat who, for all his grandiosity and hedonism and theatricality, is just as festering a pool of repression as louis is. he's a person who can be anyone, so long as anyone is someone who is seen and adored and wanted, because to be wanted is to be happy.

and so you have louis, a man who can't admit what he wants, because admittance is vulnerability, and vulnerability is death; and you have lestat, a man who needs to be wanted, because if you aren't wanted you're abandoned, and abandonment is a fate worse than death.

and then they both try to get happy.

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Honestly me still watching supernatural at this point is stockholm syndrome, ALL THIS SHOW DOES IS HURT ME

I wrote this on my phone so please excuse my life I mean mistakes

You might not think so but I swear painting this was stressful first the green was bitch because it was too light I so mixed in some black but it turned to grey so then I cleaned it up chose a different green And then and then the red decided to be motherf*cker and somehow got into the other colors so then I cleaned that up got all my colors together again and then the red was bitch cause I got it on my brush and as soon as it gets over the paper and fell in a place it would never be even if I turned it upside down so I had to get a new piece of paper and redo the tape THANKS SOME MUCH RED I THOUGHT PURPLE WAS THE BITCH

a collection of my playlists highlighting black artists in multiple genres of music. a little late for BHM but better late than never <3 enjoy! suggestions and additions are always welcome.

black people created rock: a forever growing playlist of various sub - genres of rock made by black artists and musicians; from classic rock, pop punk, rock rap, metal, post hardcore, etc. from underground bands, popular artists experimenting with their sound, artists from other genres collaborating with rock stars, and more!

a southern gothic tale: country / folk / blues / bluegrass; there are some rap / pop songs that include country elements in them but for the most part it's what you think.

black alternative: black artists that make music outside of the expectation. alt [rnb/pop], hyperpop, indie [pop/rock], dream - pop, bedroom pop; you name it, it's probably in here.

black g!rl pvnk !: similar to my black people created rock playlist, except it's just black women. this playlist also includes rap that takes heavy inspiration from alternative subculture.

juicy fruit, certified bubble yum: [bubblegum] pop by black artists. oftentimes our music gets categorized as rnb / urban / hip hop even when it's clearly not! there's been a historical record of black music being put in the wrong categories by reviewers and the academy trying to box black music into a box. while some songs may have rnb elements, it's clear that they're classic, well-made, and respected pop songs!

oh to experience authentic destiel mass hysteria again

The director of cybersecurity from the Electronic Freedom Foundation is offering to help women who have been threatened with compromise of their devices.

also in trans news that should be talked about. laverne cox has stated that on saturday her and a friend were assulted in a park and it’s not really getting the same attention as elliot. we can still be proud of him without ingnoring what happened to laverne and her friend.

if you claim ally ship to the trans community then you can’t ignore the bad things that happen to especially trans woc. and if you’re a white trans person you can’t just talk about other white trans people. it just shows that you only care about trans people if they are white and that shouldn’t be the case.

if your gonna talk about elliot please also talk about laverne. she deserves better and we should all do better to raise up the voices of black trans women.

one of my personal favorite dichotomies in atla is how iroh, once the top strategist and highest-ranking general of the fire nation, now directs all his energy and considerable tactical experience towards attempting to keep his teenage nephew from throwing himself into life-threatening situations AND IROH REGULARLY FAILS TO PREVENT HIM FROM DOING SO.

he lead a six-hundred day siege and now iroh can't keep up with a sixteen-year-old armed with two swords and a passionate deathwish. zuko's motto is "act first, think never" and he's running rings around his uncle. it's like!!! who's gonna come out on top, iroh's west point education vs. zuko's deep and abiding commitment to always choosing the stupidest possible course of action, and zuko manages to win every single time