You Know, I Didn't Think That One Of My Most Popular Posts Would Be A Joke About Arthur's Troll Stepmom,

BBC Merlin from Arthur and Merlin's perspectives, respectively.

it’s psychological horror to YOU. to me it’s a romcom

POV: Someone accuses you of sorcery, but you're just a chill manservant who definitely doesn't practice magic:

Loved the “Arthur misunderstands what a warlock is" au! I completely get it if you’re done with that one and want to move on to the next idea, but I’d be very curious to read how the rest react to finding out how wrong they were? Perhaps some guilt as Arthur realises what he forced Merlin to do? But again, completely get it if you’re done! Thank you for sharing to begin with!

Thank you so much! I'll probably revisit the "Arthur misunderstands what a warlock is" au later on to write the aftermath of Arthur's terrible misunderstanding. It might be a while before I get to it since I have a lot of other au ideas that I want to share, but I will do a part 3 for that au eventually! In the meanwhile, I can say that Arthur is definitely having a rough time with his guilt, but also questioning why Merlin went along with it in the first place. I imagine that conversation would go something like this:

"If you thought that I was some soul eating beast, why the hell would you sacrifice prisoners?! Why would you do something so horrible for someone you saw as a monster?"

"Because you're still you, Merlin! And even when I believed such awful things about warlocks, I couldn't see you as anything but the kind-hearted fool who's the strongest man I know but still cries when he sees a baby deer! Despite everything, I couldn't see you as anything other than my closest friends, and I didn't want to lose you to some terrible hunger when I knew that I could provide for you, however horrible the method was!"

But Arthur's also feeling incredibly guilty that he had also abused Merlin's complete trust in him that way. What did it say about how deeply Merlin trusted Arthur if, from Merlin's perspective, Arthur had randomly commanded him to kill two men, to bloody his own hands, for no given reason, and Merlin still did as Arthur asked. Merlin would go to such lengths simply because Arthur commanded it, and wasn't that just an awful thing for Arthur to think about?

I'll end this for now, but this au will return (after I've posted a couple of new au ideas)!

Thanks for the question! :D

Prompt 6: trial

A big thanks to @mortiscausa for this wonderful challenge, I had a lot of fun drawing with palette and seeing art from other artists! :D

Thank you everyone for your responses, I'm very flattered! 😊

To celebrate, here's another one of my failed pick-up lines!

How're you today? :) Do you ever think about the similarities between brains and galaxies? When you compare a map of neurons and pictures of galaxies, they can look a lot alike! In addition, the most common type of cell in the brain, which are astrocytes (which are in charge of structural support for neurons and maintaining the ion balances around neurons to keep their signal transduction running smoothly), get their name, literally meaning "star cell", from their star-like shape!

I like to think about those similarities alongside the fact that many elements, including carbon, the building block of organic life, were originally created in supernovas, with the extreme heat fusing three helium atoms together to create the carbon atoms. So, in a way, all life is made up of stardust!

I find it interesting how the brain, something made up of stardust on a molecular level and populated by cells named after stars, arranges itself to look like a galaxy. I have to wonder if the mind, something that can contain entire worlds within it, is trying to arrange itself into a universe all of its own. Anyways, what do you like to do for fun? :D

Just for funsies, here's a side-by-side comparison of a map of neurons from a section of a mouse's brain and a picture of a galaxy!

Me: Ugh, why is dating so difficult? I guess the dating pool where I live is bad :(

Also me, attempting to flirt: How's your day been? :) Did you know that trees pump nutrients into nearby stumps in an effort to keep them alive, resulting in stumps that survive for years entirely on the support of the tree community around them? I like how the trees can sense through their shared root system that their neighbor has been felled, and instead of taking advantage of the new lack of competition, they use their own nutrients to support their now-cut brethren. It's an act of innate, selfless community love from an organism that you'd think is incapable of such a thing, and, in a sense, it's a form of grief, because those surrounding trees won't be able to keep the stump alive forever, and yet they try to keep it alive for as long as possible anyways. It's both touching and a bit disturbing, the sense that trees are trying to hold off the death in their community for as long as possible, almost like they're unable to come to terms with it initially. It seems as though the themes of loss and grief transcend even animal life and have a presence in everything in the world around us. What're your thoughts on that? :D

(As it turns out, turning cool science facts into an analysis of literary themes doesn't make for a good pickup line. Who would've thought?)

Headcanon that Geoffrey of Monmouth isn’t actually a thicc sir, he just learned to keep his most important books strapped to him at all times in case Uther gets the urge for another book burning. Boy’s glutes are two history of magic tomes and they’re rock hard.

The Knights trying to figure out if the alarm bells are ringing because Camelot’s under attack or because Arthur can’t find Merlin:

I need to be stopped at this point or else I will create more gifs like this:

@tansyuduri I forgot all about this! Thanks for reminding me about it!

This is still a thing and I should not be allowed to use it

Time for another Merlin au!

In this au, in season 5, Camelot is cursed by Morgana to have all of their food and crops wither and die. The kingdom cannot survive under the curse for long and Arthur knows it, so he desperately visits the druids, whom he's made peace with, for magical assistance in lifting the curse. Merlin, of course, is working in secret to lift the curse, but he's lacking the exact spell needed to reverse the curse. He's tried spells that should work similarly to the reversal spell, but he's had no luck. So, he tries reaching out to the druids mentally for assistance while Arthur is meeting with them.

To Arthur, the druids inform him that the only way to lift such a dark and powerful curse is to perform a powerful ritual to call upon the powers of Emrys, the god of magic. However, the druids warn him, while they are certain that Emrys will come to his aid, the ritual comes with a cost. Arthur tells them that he would gladly give up his life for Camelot in order to complete the ritual, but the druids quickly tell him that a blood sacrifice isn't necessary. Instead, whoever successfully performs the ritual will then be tied to Emrys as his familiar in the mortal world.

When Arthur looks confused about what exactly a familiar is, the druids tell him that Emrys's familiar is someone who is bound by Emrys's will and has a mental connection to Emrys. The druids compare it to being Emrys's servant, carrying out his orders in the mortal world while Emrys is off doing his very powerful godly duties.

Arthur clenches his jaw, looking tense as he processed what he had just been told. All of the knights that they had taken with them are quick to volunteer themselves for the ritual, ready to hand themselves over to the no-doubt evil and nefarious god of magic. (To someone in Camelot who grew up under the purge, the old religion's god of magic must be the devil, their absolute worst nightmare.)

Merlin, meanwhile, is sitting next to Arthur and is simultaneously sweating bullets and is more confused than he's ever been in his entire life. Because what "godly duties" was he supposed to be fulfilling?? And how come he's never heard about a ritual to give him a familiar??

And more importantly, he's been TRYING to lift the curse for the past week, and nothing's worked! How the hell is some ritual to "call upon his power" work to break the curse when his own power has already proven to be useless here?!

However, the druids mentally tell Merlin that the binding ritual would grant Merlin the power necessary to fulfill the wishes of whoever was performing it. In this case, the ritual would grant Merlin the power to lift the curse.

For Merlin, this sounds like a perfect plan. Merlin himself would perform the ritual, lift the curse, and not have to deal with getting a new familiar! Because really, having a familiar sounded like more trouble than it was worth, and whoever became his familiar would surely discover that Merlin is Emrys, having a mental connection and all.

However, before Merlin could request the instructions for the ritual and come up with some way to distract Arthur, Arthur made up his mind. Arthur nobly tells his knights that he alone will take up this burden. Camelot is his to protect, and if he must turn himself over in servitude to the god of magic, then so be it. If he's called by Emrys to leave Camelot, then the crown goes to Gwen, who he knows will rule honorably in his stead. Arthur then turns to the druids and demands to be taken through the ritual.

Merlin, still next to Arthur, is just trying not to pull his hair out at this point because his perfect plan just got shot to hell. Merlin tries to mentally tell the druids to refuse Arthur's demands, but Arthur isn't taking no for an answer. Merlin then tries to convince Arthur to stop this, his kingdom needs him, and that Merlin should be the one to do it since he's the one who's already a servant anyway.

Arthur just looks sadly at Merlin and thanks him before ordering the knights to leave and take Merlin with them. Arthur wants to spare his friends the pain of seeing him hand himself over to Emrys. So, the knights leave the druid camp, dragging a kicking and screaming Merlin with them.

Poor Merlin, the knights all think, so loyal to Arthur. It must hurt the manservant so deeply to see Arthur sacrifice himself like this. Meanwhile, Merlin is freaking out because if Arthur becomes his familiar, which is already messed up in so many ways, there's absolutely no way that Merlin's going to be able to keep his magic a secret!

Meanwhile, the druids prepare Arthur and guide him through the ritual. They put a scented oil in his hair that's supposed to make him more pleasing to Emrys, but Arthur swears that it smells exactly like the calming oil that Merlin gives him after a restless day. They draw symbols on his armor with a mixture of berry paste and ash, and then finish their preparations by putting a woven crown of flowers on his head. Then, they have him perform the ritual itself, which has him kneel before an alter dedicated to Emrys (which rankles Arthur's pride just a bit) and reciting a prayer calling for help before he kisses the edge of the alter and recites his request for Emrys: to lift the curse placed upon Camelot's land and return its previous prosperity to it.

Immediately after Arthur finishes stating his request, a bright golden light emerges from the space right above the alter. At the very same moment, unbeknownst to any of the knights, Merlin's eyes flash a blinding gold. The light above the alter gently floats to the ground and sinks into the earth at Arthur's feet, and with a bright flash, the light races off in every direction, and every plant the light comes into contact with flourishes. Within only a few minutes, all of Camelot's crops are thriving once more, and the kingdom is saved.

After a few minutes had passed, the small pass of golden light rose out from the earth and moved closer to where Arthur stood, unmoving. Slowly, the ball moved closer to Arthur's body, and Arthur found that he couldn't move. Arthur flinched when the ball came into contact with his chest, but to his shock, it didn't hurt. No, the ball of light only felt warm, like the cozy warmth of his chambers with a fire roaring in his fireplace on a cold night. However, the little ball's movement didn't stop at Arthur's chest. Instead, the light diffused itself all over Arthur's body, until all of his body was covered in the golden light. Arthur waited for the pain to start at any moment, for his free will to be stripped away and for the god of magic to finally enact his revenge against the son of Uther Pendragon, but there was no pain.

After only a few moments, the light on Arthur's skin dimmed, leaving Arthur looking as he always did. Arthur didn't feel any different either. There was no godly voice booming in his head, and he could still move his body of his own volition, so Emrys wasn't controlling him like a puppet. If there's anything different, it's that there's a slight...buzzing in the back of his head.

The druids come to collect Arthur and take him back to his knights, telling him how grateful they are that Arthur has healed the land. Arthur accepts their thanks and makes his way back to Merlin and the knights, who are very relieved to see Arthur unharmed and acting like himself.

Arthur's slightly on edge for the whole ride back to Camelot, but to his great relief, nothing happens. That is, until a group of bandits decide to attack.

Because Arthur can physically SEE magic rising up to subtly fight the bandits. It rises from the earth and dances through the air as golden dust and golden light, and everywhere it goes, bandits fall or trip or drop their weapons, giving Camelot's knights the advantage. Arthur's so mesmerized by what he sees that he loses focus on the fight. That is, until the buzzing in his head roars and forms itself into words: BEHIND YOU!

Before he's even aware of what his body is doing, Arthur turns around and stabs the bandit that had crept up behind him. And it's then that Arthur realizes how much trouble he's in.

He's got the god of magic constantly buzzing in his head now, and Emrys is actively influencing the world around Arthur, and Arthur can't get away from it.

Thankfully, Emrys doesn't speak to him much, but what the god lacks in words, he makes up for in actions. Arthur can see how Emrys puts spells on his armor, his weapons, his chambers, and even his baths! Arthur has almost has a heart attack every time he sees the now-familiar golden dust float past people he cares about, getting close enough to touch them. The worst of it, by far, is around Merlin. The golden dust twirls and dances around Merlin, never letting Arthur see his friend without magic curled around him.

Arthur knows that it's a threat from Emrys to keep him in line, knows that the gold that swirls around Merlin could easily turn into weapons that could kill Merlin at a moment's notice, so Arthur grits his teeth and performs whatever tasks Emrys requires of him (which is normally small things like "don't eat that, it's poisoned" or "don't trust this visiting noble"). Arthur will play his part for now, but he will find a way to ensure his friends' protection from this nefarious god!

I'm going to end here, since I feel like this has already gone on for too long! I have lots of ideas revolving around rituals and Merlin's place as the god of magic, so expect at least two more au's that start similarly, but go in completely different directions!

Thank you for reading through my ramblings! :D

EDIT: You can find part two of this au here!