Every Time I Make A Mistake Im Like Theyre Going To Put Me Down Like A Sick Dog

the realization that if Uriel was smart he would in fact know about this account, but i don’t think he cares that much to silently stalk me so for now i think i’m safe??

this study has me all sorts of fucked up. i feel super shitty for a lot of my behavior and my just entire being right now. i’ve always been told since i was younger that i was this unfeeling manipulative monster, what if it’s true? what if all the doctors are lying or just don’t know enough to tell me that i’m horrible? how i endanger people, act shitty, am just wholly the demon my father said i was?

how do you cope? how do you just move on from that self reflection that you possibly aren’t the way close people say you are? how do i know what is real? who to trust?

i need to talk to dez but i don’t even know what i would say-

a loud playlist to rival the noise in my head

i wish people thought that i was good and kind and caring, people only say i am if i beg them. i wish i wasn’t the scary shelter dog that everyone takes in. i hate that i’ll never be different, i beg the Gods to make me good, but they can’t. i hate myself, so fucking much all the time. it’s awful being this way, i was born cursed and bad.

i had a cat. through everything i had a cat. i don’t have the cat anymore, and everything sucks.

“always a death knell, never a dove”

strawberry smoke, watching hockey, reading good books, ice skating, the best dessert i’ve ever had in my entire life- life is so wonderful with him <3

I will be like "I'm fine" and then another fucking event will occur

HOLY FUCK POSEIDON AND DIONYSUS BLESSED ME. got wine drunk on the beach and took a swim :D happy happy beach girl

by the grace of the Gods, may I get through this moment.