By The Grace Of The Gods, May I Get Through This Moment.

i'm sorry for the awful audio of the spoken word, i am not sorry for my emotion.

i don’t know who i am. i feel like i have no personality of my own i just mirror others. i want to be me, but i don’t know who she is. how do i find her?? why can’t i just know who i am????

IM SO FUCKING TIRED OF HAVING THIS GOD FUCKING DAMNED DISORDER I WANT TO RIP ALL OF MY HAIR OUT OF MY HEAD OH MY G O D

her name is Laura. she is witty and hilarious and just a child. fuck you. you horrible ass bitch, not even for hurting me but for fucking daring to lay your monstrous paws on her again after what you did the first time. you disgust me. your girlfriend disgusts me. move out of that damn house and grow the fuck up. asshole scum. may the Gods torture you for the rest of your godforsaken waste of a human life.

i had a cat. through everything i had a cat. i don’t have the cat anymore, and everything sucks.

her name is Laura. and i failed her and my bad brain forgot her name for so long. i’m so sorry Laura, i am.

i literally go to sleep and have dreams that you come back to me. i know you aren’t even thinking of me. i cant figure out which part hurts worse.

4.23.22 - Springtime Winter (excerpt)

I tell him how my dad is clearly trying to kill me, by leaving all of the windows open. I feel a passive pang of ideation. I don't tell him how I wish that it actually would.

curiosity the cat strikes yet again. god i hate everything