To The Person I Have Known For Most Of My Life And Have Spent More Time With Than Anyone Else Excluding

You will not die at the hands of quicksand. Ask me how I know this

Love how companies only deterrent to getting free beverages is not having a cup. Bold of you to assume I won’t cup my hands and drink it like a dog.

whoops

I have a really good mental filter. It’s so good that a lot of times nothing comes through it, and when I force myself to speak, the wrong things come out

A friend who hasn’t talked to me for years despite my attempts to reach out just contacted me again and apologized, so of course I instantly forgave him and acted like I wasn’t hurt by it at all.

okay but what if. what if instead of starting a new show I rewatched that other show. for a third time.

I am deeply saddened to report that I have completely and utterly failed to make anyone my April fool on this worthy day. I suppose it was I who was the spring simpleton.

I found this tweet and want to draw him haha

So silly when straight friends slap my ass with a stretchy hand. Do it yourself, coward.