Today, I Realized I Am Drowning.
today, i realized i am drowning.
i am drowning and i can't breathe. its all dark and too much. i am choking and coughing. but. the catch is, i tried to scream. i screamed till my throat bleed. but when i saw them laughing, i realized how it didn't matter. how i never mattered. my screams , my cry for help never mattered. they knew. they fucking knew but they shut me out.
They left me here. in the dark. to drown in blood.
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i tried so hard
to keep her away
from the darkness
but
turns out
hard isn't good enough.
Why mother?
why did you tear me apart
when you should have kept me together ?
when you should have held me a bit closer ?
Why father ?
why did you pull me down
and drowned me in my tears
when you should have been my ladder ?
when you should have kept me warm under your wings ?
Why sister ?
why did you spat venom and killed me inside
when you should have been my pillar ?
when you should have hugged me tighter ?
My red flag is isolating myself when life gets dark and messy. I'd stay silent, pull away, push those I love away and hide. But, it's also when I crave being found the most, where I long for a heartfelt conversation and pay attention to every gesture of kindness.
How to catch me
untitled (1.3.17)
d.b.a
bring back tumblr ask culture let me. bother you with questions and statements
Well,
life was supposed to be
butterflies and flowers..
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