Had A Lack-of-soup Induced Panic Attack Now I Worship The Gods Of Old

truly some people have no genre savviness whatsoever. A girl came back from the dead the other day and fresh out of the grave she laughed and laughed and lay down on the grass nearby to watch the sky, dirt still under her nails. I asked her if she’s sad about anything and she asked me why she should be. I asked her if she’s perhaps worried she’s a shadow of who she used to be and she said that if she is a shadow she is a joyous one, and anyway whoever she was she is her, now, and that’s enough. I inquired about revenge, about unfinished business, about what had filled her with the incessant need to claw her way out from beneath but she just said she’s here to live. I told her about ghosts, about zombies, tried to explain to her how her options lie between horror and tragedy but she just said if those are the stories meant for her then she’ll make another one. I said “isn’t it terribly lonely how in your triumph over death nobody was here to greet you?” and she just looked at me funny and said “what do you mean? The whole world was here, waiting”. Some people, I tell you.

It doesn't MATTER if there is a WEIRD ELLIPSE in the TOXIC WIZARD YAOI novel I am writing for FUN. IT'S FOR FUN. THEY HAVE MAGIC BIRDS AND PLAY FANTASY ROLLER DIRBY. I CAN PUT ALL THE WEIRD ELLIPSES I WANT. I CAN ADD WEIRDER WORST ELLIPSES ON PURPOSE. NOTHING MATTERS.

Spill, O muse, the tea of Achilles's anger issues

Gratuitously evil spells for villains to learn

Mordenkainen's Highly Problematic Political Opinions

Spell that causes someone to experience the entirety of The Big Bang Theory in 6 seconds

Spell that causes a needlessly painful death. It figures out the maximum amount of pain it's ethically permissible to inflict based on context and inflicts twice that much on purpose

Fireball but it expands the area of effect to specifically hit all your teammates.

Mildly Upset Person.

Disintegrate but it bestows any object it hits with full human sapience just before the ray hits.

Locate Object but every time you cast it, it kicks a random guy in the nuts for no good reason.

Hellish Rebuke but it hits anyone who isn't attacking you.

Ray of Deforestation

Transmute Food To Food That's Produced Unsustainably And Using Unethical Labor Practices

Nullify Union

Can we and by that I mean can trans allies stop assuming people’s transition goals please???

My trans to do list looks like 1) get hairier 2) dress like I’m in a fantasy cartoon 3) sleep in grey sweatpants and no shirt on. Enough with the fitness advice.

Elf cooking show: First person helmetcam of a an elf hunting and killing a deer with their bare hands. They sing a lullabye to the deer before they snap it's neck and prepare a side salad.

Dwarf cooking show: America's Test Kitchen but even more rigorous. 20 minutes of discussing how to maintain precise heat just to boil water.

Halfling cooking show: Great British Bake Off with soap-opera levels of internal drama. Everyone is stoned off their ass.

Orc cooking show: Edible mythbusters. The contestants must make bbq with a live dragon. People straight up die sometimes.

Goblin cooking show: Goblins don't really understand the concept of restaurants, but they have a show like Diners Dive ins and Dives for rooting through people's trash.

Intro post, hi! Hello!

I'm puckjay, he/him sometimes he/they, trans and somewhere on the aroace spectrum (I usually just say queer)

I'm a creative writing student, and I specialize in classic literature (so medieval and before)

Other than that I write mostly prose poetry, theater and sometimes novel-like things (and fanfictions). Currently I'm working on toxic gay wizards because I support gay wrongs.

Other than that I'm a huge ttrpg fan.

That's most of my personality right there.

Reblog to kill it faster

Less magic schools. More magic universities. Unlearn the simplified models of your secondary education. Discover how to reference scrolls written by a wizard possessed by a different wizard. Identify bias in the voices that whisper from beyond the veil. Have your institution be accused of promoting a Merlinist agenda. Become addicted to energy potions.

love the scene in book 3 of the iliad where helen and priam are looking out over the battlefield and priam asks helen who that short king breasting boobily across the battlefield is