Classpect Profile Probability

The First Guardian of Beforus

We already know three First Guardians:

Becquerel, pre-scratch Earth

God Cat, post-scratch Earth

Doc Scratch, Alternia

But what about Beforus?

I suspect its First Guardian is, in some way, shape, or form, a rabbit.

So far, all First Guardians have ties to the kids.

It goes without saying how Bec is connected to Jade. Bec was ectobiologized from Halley, Grandpa’s dog. Grandpa is pre-scratch Jake.

Then there’s GCat. GCat was likely ectobiologized from Jaspers (aka Frigglish), who belonged to both Rose and Roxy. Plus, Roxy already has heavy ties to cats.

As for Doc Scratch, one of his components is Lil Cal. Lil Cal belonged to Dave’s Bro and Dirk, and haunted Dave’s dreams (and waking life).

That just leaves John and Jane.

John has strong ties to a rabbit. Specifically, the stuffed bunny from Con Air, whom he received three times for his birthday—the original from Dave, the oily bunny patched up by Rose, and Liv Tyler from Jade (and Jake).

Post-scratch, Jane has ties to the stuffed bunny, too.

  Like John, each of Jane’s friends gave her a bunny, as well. Jake gave her his Grandma’s bunny, Roxy gave her Mom’s, and Dirk gave her Lil Sebastian.

Earth’s First Guardians, Bec and GCat, have obvious, simple parallels. Dog, cat. “MEOW” and “BARK” codes. Pets connected with the kids.

But the Con Air bunny and Lil Cal have interesting parallels with each other, as well. They’re both filled with stuffing (as are dead Halley and Jaspers). Both have traveled convoluted, circuitous routes through time and space. Evidence points to them both being Jujus. Both are used as a weapon, via bunnykind and puppetkind strife specibus.

Lil Seb especially parallels Lil Cal. For one, they both have similar names. Both once belonged to Dirk.

Then there’s this:

  They both end up in Caliborn’s possession (and at the same time).

That can’t be a coincidence. These instances of Lil Cal and the Con Air bunny also have the most direct paths through space-time.

Doc Scratch is First Guardian of Alternia due to Lord English’s influence. Who’s to say Beforus’ First Guardian wasn’t also his influence?

And if Doc Scratch was made from Lil Cal and a Magic Cue Ball…

...Maybe Beforus’ First Guardian was made from Lil Seb and a Magic 8-Ball.

How perfect would that be? It would complete all the parallels.

Doc Scratch is the Man on the Moon, Alternia's green moon. A bunny First Guardian could be the Moon Rabbit of Beforus' pink moon.

Not to mention… There would be a white rabbit as a First Guardian. A White Rabbit to go along with the Cheshire Cat, GCat.

ROXY: gcat [...] ROXY: you gonna behave urself ROXY: not do anything too uh ROXY: vexing or cheshire catty ROXY: i hope?

The bunnies, especially Lil Seb, already have Alice in Wonderland connections.

It's the White Rabbit!

Sort of!

If the First Guardian of Beforus is a White Rabbit living on the Pink Moon, perhaps it leads Meenah “down the rabbit hole” with SGRUB.

ARANEA: [Meenah] viewed the empress as a glorified slave. ARANEA: So she a8dicated, and fled to the moon to hide. […] ARANEA: While she was there, she discovered an ancient device. ARANEA: Inside the device was a game. ARANEA: She 8ecame o8sessed with playing it, 8ut needed our friends to agree to play first. […] ARANEA: Needless to say, we had no idea what we were getting ourselves into.

A rabbit hole, as in the first artifact that draws players of an alternate reality game into its world. If SBURB/SGRUB isn’t an alternate reality game, I don’t know what is!

A rabbit First Guardian is PERFECT.

Cinnamon Roll Classes

Looks like a cinnamon roll, is actually a cinnamon roll: Heir, Page, Rogue Looks like a cinnamon roll, could actually kill you: Witch, Sylph, Maid Looks like they could kill you, is actually a cinnamon roll: Knight, Mage Looks like they could kill you, could actually kill you: Seer, Prince, Thief SINnamon roll: Bard

I struggled with the same concept while formulating this theory, because Calmasis from CoTL sounds more like Caliborn than anything else. Basically I’m thinking the actual Calmasis will be the true union of Caliborn and Calliope, possibly even the Caliborn who made “HOMOSUCK” and is about to face Yaldabaoth.

Consider what Art!Caliborn says:

THE ATROCIOUS HATERS AND WEAK CHILDREN WILL SAY THAT I AM A MONSTER. THAT I AM THE BIGGEST BAD GUY. AND THAT MY EVIL CRIMES NEED TO BE STOPPED USING TANTRUM PUNCHES. BUT NO. I AM JUST A SIMPLE ARTIST.

I HUGELY INSIST. THAT I WALK THE PATH. NOT OF A VILLAIN. BUT OF AN ARTIST!!!

I mean, I think it’s pretty clear Art!Caliborn is not the one whose soul is trapped in Lil Cal and eventually becomes LE. And Calmasis’ description of “antihero and chief antagonist” indeed easily describes Art!Caliborn. So maybe he ends up fusing somehow with some form of Calliope, and that union forms Calmasis.

Regardless, tons of evidence supports an Alt!Calliope + Gamzee + Davepeta fusion, and I really think I’m on to something here. Whether or not they’re actually Calmasis (or form part of them) doesn’t really matter. I mostly chose to call them Calmasis as a placeholder name, for lack of anything better to name them. (Notice how I said, “For now, let’s call this fusion Calmasis.” Emphasis on “for now.”)

I mean, hey, maybe their fusion ends up being Zazzerpan? Or maybe they end up fusing with Art!Caliborn, too. We don’t really know. But for now, they need a name, and Calmasis seemed like the best one.

The Mirthful Messiahs: Lord English and Calmasis?

We already know Lord English is a fusion of the souls of Caliborn, Arquiusprite, and ½ Gamzee.

But what if there’s a Calliope counterpart? A fusion consisting of Alt!Calliope, Davepetasprite^2, and ½ Gamzee.

Keep reading

The events of this update are taking place within one of Skaia’s vision clouds:

I bet Alt!Calliope is the one witnessing it!

For anyone interested to know more about me, I finally got around to making an About Me page on my personal/reblog blog. Not a whole lot there, but at least it’s something.

Thanks!

Some related thoughts and speculation

Doc Scratch:

Doc Scratch does indeed make pranks on rare occasion. I’m not sure it’d be something quite so elaborate and involving blatant lies, though. But it’ll be interesting to see if/when he does play another prank.

Calliope and the Third Scratch:

The “doomed” God Tier Calliope likely dominated because perhaps Vriska raised the Cherubs instead of Gamzee. Paralleling Caliborn, Calliope dominated prematurely and forcibly by having Caliborn’s dream self killed. It's likely this Calliope embodies the current Paradox Space.

Post-Scratch Calliope, the one who plays, is one who dominates naturally rather than prematurely. She will fully integrate/absorb Caliborn into her being, as opposed to expelling him, thus eventually becoming Calmasis.

Post-Scratch, the Cherubs are raised by Davesprite.

The third Scratch will not only reset the Cherub’s universe, but it might reset all of Paradox Space, as well. If so, Calmasis might be the one to embody the rebooted version, which is probably the new reality the heroes must escape to.

Vriska and the Green Sun:

Like how Roxy tagged along with John when he retconned the Game Over timeline, Vriska might end up tagging along if/when John retcons the current timeline. If so, she'll be a part of the true Alpha Timeline while her original iteration, punk!Vriska, remains dead in the dream bubbles.

Alternatively, Vriska dies in this timeline, and somehow SHE obtains the Ring of Life, thus reviving. (I don’t think punk!Vriska will be the one to do that.)

In either case, the Vriska of the current timeline will be the one to steal the Green Sun’s light.

Re: Vriska's Return and the Alpha Timeline's Fate

A few things–

Doc Scratch doesn’t lie, but he does tell pranks – foreshadowing which has never been fulfilled up to this point. Even if he’s not there to give a “Hee Hee,” the Egbertpunch – placed at a critical moment in Scratch’s elaborate narrative – fulfills the requirements of a prank.

If Jade’s Calliope is from a void timeline, then what’s the point of a Third Scra… actually, hm. What if this supposedly “doomed” Calliope – the one with no friends and no frame of reference for understanding human emotions – becomes this reality, the cruel and harsh Paradox Space we’re familiar with, while pre-retcon Callie… actually, no, that still leaves another Scratch out of the picture. Sorry, just thinking aloud here.

It seems like this (retconned) Vriska is going to be the one who steals the Green Sun’s light. That can’t just not happen… maybe that will be what causes John to try to retcon his retcon, but it’s too cosmically important to undo?

Not saying this theory is wrong, I actually really like it.

John <3< Terezi?

Well, it sounds like John might have a black crush on Terezi. But... does she feel the same way? (Or rather, will she at some point?)

Check out Terezi and Karkat’s conversation regarding her kismesissitude with Gamzee:

KARKAT: I'VE GOT TO SAY, I DIDN'T SEE IT COMING. IF YOU TOLD ME SWEEPS AGO YOU AND HE... KARKAT: I WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT. LIKE IF THE WRITING WAS ON THE WALL THERE, I SURE . . . DIDN'T READ IT.

    TEREZI: Y34H, 1T SNUCK UP ON M3 […] TEREZI: R1GHT UND3R MY NOS3 TOO TEREZI: SOM3HOW 1 D1DNT PUT TH3 P13C3S TOG3TH3R 4T TH3 T1M3 4ND L3T H1M G3T 4W4Y W1TH MURD3R

    TEREZI: 4ND GR4DU4LLY 1 ST4RT3D H4V1NG TH3S3 UNCONTROLL4BL3 THOUGHTS 4BOUT H1M TEREZI: D4RK THOUGHTS TEREZI: 4ND WH3N 1 WOULD C4TCH 4 WH1FF OF H1M 1N TH3 CORR1DORS, L1K3 H3 W4S T4UNT1NG M3, TH4T JUST F4NN3D TH3 FL4M3S

    Recall John’s prophecy:

With the scarf shenanigans, did Game Over!Terezi purposely orchestrate the beginnings of a caliginous relationship between John and her past self? Could THIS be the main purpose of those trivial changes to the timeline?

Tavros has cat allergies and has only been prototyped once. What if GCat shows up, triggers Tavros’ allergies, and...

ACHOO!

...He crashes into and fuses with GCat! It’d make a nice parallel with Jade and Bec sprite-fusing, plus be all kinds of hilarious and ironic.

Plus, Tavcat? Catros? could be super effective against Bec Noir and PM because cat distraction + animal communing powers + First Guardian powers. Although he’d probably be a perpetual sneezing mess.

Even if this doesn’t happen, I have a feeling Tavros’ cat allergies will result in him inadvertently double prototyping with something or someone. And, also, Tavros controlling GCat would make a great distraction for the Becs. (As would Jaspers.)

The Third Scratch

BladekindEyewear has a theory that there will be a third Scratch, one in Caliborn’s session. While I’m not completely sold on it being necessary (and I disagree on the events that will play out if it happens), thematically, a Third Scratch makes sense, and evidence does support it.

Three scratches across Gamzee’s face:

Dave’s game glitching, making it unplayable and unwinnable:

Time to reset for the third time this hour.

> Dave: Reset.

So, if a third Scratch will indeed occur, what can we extrapolate?

We know a Scratch Construct is different between sessions.

It will always be an edifice of similarly cryptic design, located on the planet that is home to the Hero of Time. Its environment dictates the nature of its construction.

The Trolls’ construct is the Cardinal Movement, which looks similar to Aradia’s time machine music boxes. It also reflects the Land of Quartz and Melody, Aradia’s planet. Damara must have the same (or similar) planet as Aradia.

  The Kids’ construct is the Beat Mesa, which matches Dave’s emblem and his time tables. It also fits with the gears and tech theme of his planet.

  That just leaves Caliborn, the Time player of the third session. And what’s the theme not of his planet, but his entire session and character? Billiards.

Caliborn’s session includes a planet representing each pool ball. Notoriously missing is a Cue Ball planet.

What if Caliborn’s Scratch Construct is an entire Cue Ball planet, and we haven’t seen it yet? Or seen it in its final form, anyway. Rather than being ON his planet, it IS a planet.

Two likely candidates are Caliborn’s planet (Earth), or the Land of Heat and Clockwork, Dave’s planet.

  (Personally, I love the idea of LOHAC, and its transformation resembling a cue ball.)

During a typical Scratch, once the construct’s surface is scratched, it will head toward Skaia.

  Except Caliborn’s session no longer has a Skaia. However, recall Skaia transformed into a black hole. The black hole Caliborn uses to sink the pool ball planets!

I predict Caliborn’s Scratch will involve scratching the surface of a Cue Ball planet and then sinking it into the black hole that was formerly Skaia. In billiards, pocketing the cue ball is called a scratch. How perfect is that?

TT: This terminology can be very literal sometimes.

What do else do we know about Scratches?

Its power is dangerous, and is meant to be utilized only in emergencies such as yours. TT: You mean, in sessions where victory is no longer possible? Yes. […] TT: Then, it's like a panic button for the players to push once they realize the cause is lost.

Only in this case, replace “session” with “reality.” It sounds like this could describe the situation the heroes are in, with Lord English wreaking havoc throughout Paradox Space. An even greater emergency would be after Vriska begins the process of the Green Sun’s destruction, which has the potential to lead to the Big Crunch of Paradox Space.

Within the context of Rose and Doc Scratch’s exchange, “victory” means ability to successfully create a new universe, which is the goal of a typical session. However, Caliborn’s session is unique and extreme—a dead session. Its goal isn’t to create a new universe. In all likelihood, it has some connection with all of Space-Time, all of reality itself. A Scratch for a dead session would be employed for a different, more extreme reason.

TT: What exactly does the Scratch do, then? It resets the game. […] The release of temporal energy will be quite massive. This is a hard reset. It will reboot the conditions in your universe well before you began playing the game. You will have lived different lives after the reset. The different initial conditions will ideally lead to a more favorable scenario in the new session. Unfortunately, you will have no memory of anything that has happened in the session you are in now. TT: What will happen to us? Everyone in this session now? You will all cease to exist completely if you remain here during the Scratch.

Now, all this is true of typical null sessions. If scratching a null session resets the universe, perhaps scratching a dead session—Caliborn’s session—resets REALITY.

Instead of resetting the cherubs’ universe and which cherub plays, I think the third scratch will reset all of Paradox Space, all of reality, producing an alternate reality. A new reality perhaps ruled by a Pink Sun instead of the Green Sun.

Just as the kids escaped their Scratch and entered the new, reset instance of Earth’s universe—the Alpha kids’ session—through the window, the heroes will have to find a way to escape the third Scratch (and the Big Crunch) and enter a new, reset instance of Paradox Space.

While simultaneously destroying reality, the massive black hole created from the Green Sun’s destruction could very well be their escape route, like the hole in the window.

UU: and while the emerald eye of this storm is fixed in the abyss forever UU: today yoU are poised to escape its scowl once and for all. UU: by skaias gUiding light, yoU may leave behind its tUrning arms of bright coloUrs and mayhem, and secUre peace for yoUr cosmic progeny for all dUration.

A third Scratch, the destruction of reality, a black hole escape route, and the creation of a Pink Sun would make absolutely lovely parallels to the events of [S]: Cascade. It works.

As far as I can tell, it just indicates the first player of the session.

In each session, the mini-square is within the squares belonging to John, Karkat, and Jane. Each of them entered first. (And are also the session leaders.)

If thats the case…… whats the mini square for?