She Makes Me Laugh When I Feel As If I’ll Never See The Sun Again

We’ll be kicking off the final leg of The Eras Tour this week, which is hard to comprehend. This tour has been the most wondrous experience and I knew I wanted to commemorate the memories we made together in a special way. Well, two ways actually. Excited to announce that The Official Eras Tour Book, filled with my own personal reflections, never-before-seen behind the scenes photos, all the magical memories you guys brought every single night AND …. The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology on vinyl and CD will all be available for the first time ever only at Target starting Nov 29th. 🤍

International info coming soon!

one day she will know how much she means to me. I will spend every day I can convincing her of it.

In September, I’ll be the first person in my family to ever go to university.

It comes with expectations, ones that will weigh me down at times, I have no doubt about it. It’s weird knowing there’s no one I can turn to, to ask what it’s like. I’ll be the first to do it, to experience it.

I have to remind myself to be proud. It’s an achievement I never thought I’d reach. 2 years ago I never thought I’d be alive, let alone about to go to university.

It’s weird and strange, and a whole hoard of emotions I’m sure I won’t work through for a while. But for now, I have to remind myself to breathe, and that I’ll be okay. And most importantly, I did something I never thought I’d do. I’ve reached a point I never thought I’d get to, that at least is something to be proud of.

Spotify Wrapped choosing violence

Sure,I guess in their world Sarina Wiegman does not exist…

SHE did it FIRST and SHE did it BETTER.

dostoyevsky kinda ate with “your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing.”

watching my siblings grow up is a bittersweet feeling. I hope they know much I love them. how much I do for them, how much I’ve sacrificed for them.

there’s some things I’ll never tell them I’ve suffered through, done to myself, to get through the day just to see the smile on their faces.

I hope they know they are loved.

that’s all I want for them, for them to be loved.

is that too much to ask?

grief is an old friend, worming its way into my heart and wrapping its tendrils around my ribcage. sometimes it is a comfort, to know I loved someone so dearly that the remnants of it still lingers.

sometimes it threatens to swallow me whole and weigh me down, it makes me want to scream to a higher power that it’s not fair, that they deserved more time. the answer never comes, and the silence that follows leaves me empty and hollow.

I fear this feeling might never leave, and I will be forever burdened by grief.

another weekend, another London derby win for the girls. 7 points clear and 10 GD. God I love life, and I love my team 😭