I See You In My Dreams, Maybe One Day It’ll Become My Reality

far too many of my Spotify playlists are about her. And yet I feel like they all still don’t convey how I feel 😔

IT FEELS SO GOOD TO BE A CHELSEA FAN💙😍

JESSIE PLEASE COME HOME THE KIDS MISS YOU, IM NOT EVEN KIDDING PLEASE

LEWIS IS RED, GIRMA IS BLUE, FRED VASSEUR AND SONIA BOMPASTOR I FUCKING LOVE YOU ❤️💙

Behind every gay person there is a gayer more evil gay person. Sometimes even two.

humans crave to be understood.

me most of all.

I feel as if no one will ever truly get me. maybe that’s how it’s meant to be.

maybe I distance myself too much from people and don’t make it easy to let them in.

maybe I’m meant to spend a lifetime alone begging people to just get me, to please, just look at me and not see someone who’s strange and weird but someone who has a system built against them and struggles to fit in.

I wear a mask everywhere I go to protect myself, not literally (at least not as often anymore). sometimes it physically manifests itself as an accessory, like sunglasses or a hat. I’ll never be caught without one. It’s my way of hiding from the world, letting people see me, but not truly all of me. not really.

I don’t think the people around me understand how much I change myself to fit in, how truly good I am at squeezing myself into boxes and attempting to be ‘normal’, or at least what society deems as such. I don’t think anyone will get me, understand me, know the scars on my soul and the ridges in my heart. the grief that never seems to leave, but comes in waves. the tears that are always present, or the thoughts that plague my mind.

maybe some people aren’t meant to be understood. maybe I’m one of them.

season 8 we’ll finally get the answer 🙏

“what’s going on with buckley and diaz” a question we’ve been trying to answer for six seasons

I love the trend of mlm teen shows being cute romances, heartfelt moments, dealing with school etc. And then the wlw teen shows are like What if you're all trapped in the wilderness and forced to survive and you come up with intricate rituals and you can't live with or without each other and you're suffering and constantly facing death and...

In September, I’ll be the first person in my family to ever go to university.

It comes with expectations, ones that will weigh me down at times, I have no doubt about it. It’s weird knowing there’s no one I can turn to, to ask what it’s like. I’ll be the first to do it, to experience it.

I have to remind myself to be proud. It’s an achievement I never thought I’d reach. 2 years ago I never thought I’d be alive, let alone about to go to university.

It’s weird and strange, and a whole hoard of emotions I’m sure I won’t work through for a while. But for now, I have to remind myself to breathe, and that I’ll be okay. And most importantly, I did something I never thought I’d do. I’ve reached a point I never thought I’d get to, that at least is something to be proud of.

Back in london prepping for Sunday 💙💙