Ways I Have Tricked People Into Thinking I Am Competent:

ways i have tricked people into thinking i am competent:

bought a really nice looking fountain pen

that sounds like a joke but fountain pens are cheap as shit and when you use one people look at you like you’re a fucking wizard

image

this hero 901 cost me $3 on ebay and i don’t know why people assume that this is a pen for intelligent people but they do

it works better when i am using a nice notebook and not the avengers notebook that makes it look like the hulk is grabbing my sweet pen

i write in code which for some reason leads everyone to assume that i am some kind of da vinci motherfucker, instead of the reality, which is that i am writing about dicks and don’t want anyone to know

it looks like i am constantly taking notes on everything which is both intimidating and inaccurate, just the way i like it

i bought a usb clicker/laser pointer for $11 and now it seems like i’ve got this shit on lock, like i am so pro at giving presentations i even own accessories

holding a clicker makes you seem at least 10% more like you know what you’re talking about i’m pretty sure

i check the weekly freebies on creativemarket every monday so now i have a huge folder of pro-looking website themes and powerpoint templates and fill-in-the-blank resumes (also a lot of autumnal clipart and watercolor flowers and script fonts but that is less relevant)

i bought a ceramic coffee mug at world market years ago and it makes me look like a productive coffee-drinker because no one knows it’s full of hot cocoa

i don’t know why drinking coffee makes you look busy it just does even though i’m pretty sure it statistically reduces productivity

image

bonus: not only does no one know i’m just drinking Depression Chocolate but they think i am being Environmentally Conscious rather than Poor As Shit

extra bonus: i can take a sip whenever it looks like someone is going to ask a question and then they ask someone else

i almost never have to answer questions and i leave the room a lot because i have to pee constantly so double extra bonus

“That’s a very good question, and one that deserves an in-depth answer, so if you’d like to leave me your card I’d be happy to discuss it with you later one-on-one” aka “how DARE you suggest i waste everyone’s time answering this question right now” aka “lmfao i have no fucking clue what you just said please let me secretly google that okay”

bonus: now it seems like you are a sophisticated grownup who assumes everyone has A Card and if they have to settle for writing their email on a scrap of paper you can feel smug about it even though in your heart you know that you are no better

i’ve got anxiety and poor impulse control and anxiety about my poor impulse control so i generally say jack shit about shit and this constant silence is often misinterpreted as aloof observation

no one knows that my air of mystery is actually a bad case of the shy and i am too shy to correct them so it works out

when i’m on my laptop and i don’t want anyone to notice how much i’m dicking around i turn the brightness way down so they can’t snoop without being obvious

at least one window of notepad++ with some random html page or css stylesheet in it makes randos assume you are some kind of genius doing some genius shit, unless they are CS major randos, in which case i guess find an intimidating looking excel spreadsheet and hope for the best

More Posts from Pastelpinkseal and Others

1 year ago

hot artists don't gatekeep

I've been resource gathering for YEARS so now I am going to share my dragons hoard

Floorplanner. Design and furnish a house for you to use for having a consistent background in your comic or anything! Free, you need an account, easy to use, and you can save multiple houses.

Comparing Heights. Input the heights of characters to see what the different is between them. Great for keeping consistency. Free.

Magma. Draw online with friends in real time. Great for practice or hanging out. Free, paid plan available, account preferred.

Smithsonian Open Access. Loads of free images. Free.

SketchDaily. Lots of pose references, massive library, is set on a timer so you can practice quick figure drawing. Free.

SculptGL. A sculpting tool which I am yet to master, but you should be able to make whatever 3d object you like with it. free.

Pexels. Free stock images. And the search engine is actually pretty good at pulling up what you want.

Figurosity. Great pose references, diverse body types, lots of "how to draw" videos directly on the site, the models are 3d and you can rotate the angle, but you can't make custom poses or edit body proportions. Free, account option, paid plans available.

Line of Action. More drawing references, this one also has a focus on expressions, hands/feet, animals, landscapes. Free.

Animal Photo. You pose a 3d skull model and select an animal species, and they give you a bunch of photo references for that animal at that angle. Super handy. Free.

Height Weight Chart. You ever see an OC listed as having a certain weight but then they look Wildly different than the number suggests? Well here's a site to avoid that! It shows real people at different weights and heights to give you a better idea of what these abstract numbers all look like. Free to use.


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1 year ago

i do unironically think the best artists of our generation are posting to get 20 notes and 3 reblogs btw. that fanfic with like 45 kudos is some of the best stuff ever written. those OCs you carry around have some of the richest backstories and worldbuilding someone has ever seen. please do not think that reaching only a few people when you post means your art isn't worth celebrating.


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1 year ago
Banner-Tailed Kangaroo Rat For A $15 Ko-fi Supporter

Banner-Tailed Kangaroo Rat for a $15 Ko-fi supporter


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11 months ago
image

People have written a lot of touchy-feely pieces on this subject but I thought I’d get right to the heart of the matter


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3 years ago

Is it an ADHD thing to not realize you're in pain or not be able to recognize the source of pain? I just spent 6 hours feeling awful because I had a really bad headache, but couldnt figure out what was wrong until my mom asked be why i was being so grumpy. Also, i just wanted to thank you for the way you actually talk about your experiences with ADHD and Autism and being Nonbinary. Also the cursed stuff is cool too.

self-regulation tends to be more difficult when you have adhd/autism. it’s good to get in the habit of pausing for a few minutes and consciously making an assessment:

what is my biggest current source of pain/discomfort? how can I change that? should i take a pain reliever? 

am i hungry? how’s my blood sugar? when did i last eat

how’s my general level of anxiety/overstimulation?

how’s the noise level? could i benefit from wearing earplugs?

am i too warm/cold? should i put on/take off a layer?

am i thirsty? are my lips dry? could i use water/chapstick?

if i could do one thing to make myself more comfortable in the next hour, what would it be?

try setting a timer and doing this every 2 hours or so. soon it gets to be automatic (i still set timers sometimes when i know my day is going to be busy). on a related note, it’s good to carry around a ‘self-regulation grab bag’ (mine has painkillers, granola bars, ear plugs, water, chapstick, lotion, etc)


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1 year ago
Upon Arrival, Lena Khalaf Tuffaha

upon arrival, lena khalaf tuffaha


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1 month ago

seeing straight men be disgusted by booktok smut recommenders has actually radicalized me to the side of booktok smut recommenders. girls your taste may be atrocious but i will never disparage you for exposing mainstream discourse to the concept of soaking through your underwear. spent my whole life listening to men talk about penises it’s about time they get jumpscared by women talking about pussy in crude detail on social media. go forth and goon my warriors


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9 months ago

for those of you who remember cgtextures circa 2008, texture.ninja has a large repository of public domain textures without annoying hoops to jump through.

For Those Of You Who Remember Cgtextures Circa 2008, Texture.ninja Has A Large Repository Of Public Domain

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3 years ago

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