This Is So Good! Sam Is Going To Have Great Fun Weirding Them Out And Will Figure Out Their Identities

Majestic

Favorite bird genre has got to be 'that's literally just a dinosaur'

Groove-Billed Ani

Hoatzin

Pheasant Coucal

This is an amazing story

Did you bake the last Amis cake for your neighbour Dottie, or is the world just full of accidental snake throwers?

The world is full of accidental snake throwers!  

I’ve had snakes tossed at me twice myself.  Once during an animal demonstration at the zoo when the keeper holding a corn snake had a sudden and very intense hiccup, and once on an extraordinaily ill-fated middle school backpacking trip when one of the other girls thought she was picking up a necklace in the bushes and instead picked up a garter snake and panicked.

I’ve also had spiders, birds, cats, lizards and on one particularly memorable occasion, a small shark lobbed at me on acident.  It happens, and cake is an appropriate way to apologize.

Poor Clark, he's trying his best, he really is, but this "being the last of your kind" thing is really hard!

not to remix my own fic ideas yet again but have we considered that some of Clark’s animosity or OOC moments in Batman V Superman could theoretically be explained by 1) he and Bruce Wayne being massively compatible and 2) him therefore wildly mistaking the “get him pregnant” latent Kryptonian instinct as aggression because he’s never felt it before 3) thus resulting in him pinning Batman up against a ton of walls and throwing him around like he did in BVS but not actually hurting him because that isn’t the point

bring back tumblr ask culture let me. bother you with questions and statements

Alfred sits all the kids down and they think theyre in trouble, but he says "I'd like to introduce you all to your new aunts and uncles" and brings out the nightingales

The new hire

The Wayne Manor is a very large building with a large list of things that needed tending to. While Alfred takes pride in his ability in being the Wayne family butler, he is not too proud to admit that he does need help in maintaining the manor.

So he hired a part time maid!

A young lady named Jasmine, who is a student at Gotham University and is taking care of her younger siblings.

She's well behaved, doesn't complain, cleans well, doesn't steal, and has enough sass in her to deal with any of the batfamily's attitude.

One time she even stopped a group of burglars all by herself. When Alfred had come to check on her, he was met with the sight of Jazz having tied them up while lecturing them about their life choices and helping them find a better job.

So when he agrees to meeting with Jazz's brother to see if he'd be perfect to help with the jobs that needed heavy lifting or hard work. He is met with a 6'10 very muscled man with sharp teeth and flaming hair.

"This is my... twin brother! Dan!" Jazz introduces the man who Alfred.

Damian still isn't allowed to talk to the press, but they show up outside of school and ambush him. Someone says something demeaning about Talia, and he snaps and said "grandfather would have had you executed for that in his kingdom"

Well, the media goes wild- turns out Damian Wayne isn't the Antichrist, his mother is. I imagine a headline "breaking news: Brucie Wayne didn't adopt the Antichrist, he had a child with it"

Even when Damian's older he's not allowed to talk to the press by himself, because someone will ask if his grandfather is Satan and he will simply say yes

The paparazzi somehow gets a hold of Damian shortly after he starts living with Bruce and leave fully convinced that "that child is the Antichrist. Brucie Wayne has been tricked into raising Satan's spawn, and he is too naive to notice."

The following articles lead to Damian being banned from talking to reporters and Bruce suing every tabloid in Gotham to get any speculation regarding his son's origins taken down, but it doesn't stop the rumors from spreading.

Years later, Damian is more adjusted to life outside the league, and the ban is lifted. Damian is finally officially introduced to the media, and after learning how to be a normal child, and with the influence of his older brothers, decides to play into the whole "might actually be the Antichrist" thing.

It becomes a part of his public persona, and Damian wayne is henceforth known as the maybe slightly too polite, somewhat ominous, short tempted heir to Gothams most successful business empire, and because it's Gotham people just expect that the city is probably getting pulled into Hell pretty soon and move on with their days because, what are they gonna do about it, he's a Wayne.

It's been negative 3 Celcius in the morning the past two weeks, please stop trying to have babies

Found this while going through my fanfic files, and i absolutely had to share.

Danny: i want in

Red robin: …what?

Danny: your bat family. I want in.

Red robin, blinking in surprise: i dont know what you think you know about my associates, but we're not-

Danny: dont be obtuse. I know youre the smart one. And i also know that your all one big relatively happy family. I want in.

Red robin: …why?

Danny: because you guys are the first people ive found that are wealthy, intelligent and powerful enough to take on my fruitloop godfather and win AND are decent enough human beings that i can be assured that when all is said and done, my well-being will remain a top priority.

Orphan, appearing out of nowhere: new brother!

Danny: *stares in shock*

Danny: *sudden uncanny grin* well that's one convinced. How do i win over the rest?

Orphan: no need. New brother!

Red robin: *pointed glance of betrayal* fine. Who is your godfather?

Danny: vlad masters. He's a fruitloop.

Red robin: for real? B's been investigating him for years! Tell me everything! *genuinely excited for a new lead*

Danny: well, he's tried to murder my dad and marry my mom, gained his wealth illegally, committed voting fraud to become the mayor of my hometown, has a secret underground lab where he does unethical experiments, and he's abducted me more than a dozen times even before my parents disowned me to make me his evil apprentice or whatever. Now that im homeless, he's literally out to get me. Oh! And he's cloned me too! She's cool though, we're buddies now.

Batman, who just arrived but heard everything over comms: hn. (Translation: who are you?)

Danny: my name is Danny. No last name anymore, but im hoping itll soon be Wayne! *winking suggestively*

Batman: hn? (how much do you know?)

Danny: enough to know that youre a much better alternative to vlad.

Batman: …hn (i dont know anything about you. What if youre a spy for vlad?)

Danny, giving his salesman pitch: i was a teen vigilante in amity park before i had to run away from home for my own safety. Vlad is one of my rogues. I know how to fight and defend myself, how to minimize collateral damage in a fight, and ive gotten really good and escaping kidnapping attempts. Ive also managed to reform and/or make allies out of approximately half of my rogues and can talk down about 30% of all rogue confrontations before they turn into a messy fight. The other things i can bring to the table are: one, i can teach all of you guys proper liminality self care; two, i can probably minimize and possibly cure red hood's anger issues; three, i can get along with stabby robin because i consider fighting a friendly social interaction - he can even stab me and i wont be injured by it; four, i can be your go-to guy for supernatural cases so you no longer have to deal with that sad trenchcoat man; five-

Red robin: *blurting* youre hired.

Batman: hn (i am deeply concerned)

Danny: if youre concerned now, wait until i tell you about the anti ecto control act

Nightwing, who showed up in the middle of the sales pitch: ive never seen anyone crack B's grunt language so quickly

Danny: grunt language? He's just using ghost speak - which will be covered by the liminality self care lessons

Robin, who arrived with batman: what is a liminal?

Danny: all of you, of course! Otherwise you wouldnt need to learn about it, obviously

Robin: and why would we trust you?

Danny: did i mention i have a pet ghost dog?

Robin: …you drive a hard bargain

Danny, fist pumping: yes! That's three!

Nightwing: four, you got me when you could understand B's grunting

Red Hood, arrived with nightwing: five, assuming you arent lying about the pit rage

Danny, hand to his chest: i would never!

Orphan: honesty. Earnest. New brother.

Oracle, over comms: six. The anti ecto acts are legit and im terrified for his safety, assuming he's phantom, who is the vigilante of amity park

Spoiler, arrived with orphan: seven, as long as youre down for a few pranks

Batman: hn (ive been outvoted)

Batman: hnn (i dont wanna hear any jokes about adoption habits when you all forced my hand)

Batman: hn (that said)

Batman: welcome to the family

Duke, the next day: man, i miss out on everything exciting.

Duke, blinded by danny: and who the fuck told bruce he could adopt the fucking sun?!

Gothamite: hey, do you think the Antichrist is going to keep up the Wayne foundations charity shit when we get pulled into hell?

Second gothamite: I don't know, but I'm pretty sure we're gonna get like 10 more animal sanctuaries

The paparazzi somehow gets a hold of Damian shortly after he starts living with Bruce and leave fully convinced that "that child is the Antichrist. Brucie Wayne has been tricked into raising Satan's spawn, and he is too naive to notice."

The following articles lead to Damian being banned from talking to reporters and Bruce suing every tabloid in Gotham to get any speculation regarding his son's origins taken down, but it doesn't stop the rumors from spreading.

Years later, Damian is more adjusted to life outside the league, and the ban is lifted. Damian is finally officially introduced to the media, and after learning how to be a normal child, and with the influence of his older brothers, decides to play into the whole "might actually be the Antichrist" thing.

It becomes a part of his public persona, and Damian wayne is henceforth known as the maybe slightly too polite, somewhat ominous, short tempted heir to Gothams most successful business empire, and because it's Gotham people just expect that the city is probably getting pulled into Hell pretty soon and move on with their days because, what are they gonna do about it, he's a Wayne.

Dani gets a call from Danny being like "hey, you still in Hong Kong? My friends beating up bad guys over there, I thought you might like to tag along!"

Dani would just love Cass, this big scary bat who listens to her talk and treats her like an equal in fights- she's already calling Cass her sister in law

So something I would like to point out is despite the shit we give him Danny is a fighting savant.

Like any time Danny is fighting with his feet planted on a surface he is pulling off badass martial arts maneuvers or kicking ass. Hell in the first episode he manages a roundhouse kick with enough force to basically cut through multiple meat monsters, and this is at his weakest in the show.

Like we say he fights like a feral racoon but that's only when he's fighting midair and how would he have midair combat training? Humans can't fly like that.

Still in the first season Danny catches Fright Knights sword barehand without a scratch! Boy is a badass.

When he was fighting with his classmates to rescue their parents in pirate radio he was the most competent one there until he let himself get thrown over the edge to give him an excuse to transform without anyone noticing.

Like sure he's getting dogged in this fight but not from a lack of skill, Danny gets several good hits in but he doesn't have the strength this early in the series to do any damage to Fright Knight. But then he not only catches the blade but disarms and judo flips him without getting cut by the blade once.

So I think it would be fun to have DC characters notice this he has the skill and he now has the power to back it up. Have Danny meet Wildcat the former boxer turned vigilante who trained both Black Canary and Batman in boxing.

So one thing that i would like to see is Danny in a similar situation like in the video, Deathstroke is literally a super soldier and mercenary so some rich bastard who Danny pissed off hires him to kill this kid i like the idea that danny is patenting a medical device that can be used to treat metas or non human biology and the rich guy is pissed Danny won't sell him the patent. Bat of your choice, I'm going with Cass, gets told by Oracle who hacked into the communications between the two but she's not quite fast enough to stop the fight from breaking out.

Danny is in his human form which limits his strength but he has skill enough fighting foes who are physically his superior. Cass shows up to see this random scientist holding his own against Deathstroke who earned his title of The Terminator. However before Cass can jump in Danny pulls off the disarming judo throw winning the fight.

Now Cass has a crush on this cute boy. Bruce is considering hiring an assassin himself (not really he's just being dramatic about his baby girl falling in love.)