This Is The Only Way To Stretch Out All Of Your Silly Little Muscles That Don't Really Move

Oh god, that's even worse

"...Timmy...?" Dick hasn't called him that since before Bruce disappeared, but it's the only thing he can say as he stares at his brother's broken, bleeding body.

Tim, Timmy, his little brother in all but blood, bleeding from his ears and eyes and nose, burned so severely his skin is peeling off, actually turns to look at him.

Freezes.

"Shit. No one's supposed to see this." Tim says, and Dick lurches forward to do...something. He doesn't know what, for all his first-aid training doesn't know how he can help when there's this much damage, but he has to do something.

But Tim disappears, like he was never there.

Or; On a ghosts death day, they gain the appearance they had at death. This includes the injuries. Danny spends his death day very far away from home, since it actually makes his human form look like he got electrocuted to death by untold voltage and mass dosages of radiation, and he really doesn't want his mom and dad to see that, even if they're cool with the half-ghost thing. Problem; apparently he's a dead ringer for someone Nightwing knows, and he just mentally scarred Valerie's favorite hero. Fuck.

Danny has a group of pet rats that he rescued from a lab. They follow him everywhere even as Phantom. Well Danny gets summoned one day and the league is surprised to see the ghost prince with five rats on his shoulders. "What's with the rodents?" Flash asked. "Kinda rude to ask someone about their service animals." Danny replies. The rats alert Danny before he has a chronic pain flare, before he has a tremor, and before he has a seizure. Being electrocuted messed up Danny's nervous system bad enough that he needs to have an alert animal or someone with him at times that recognize when he's about to have either a flare up or a seizure. The league is going to have a refresher HR course about service animals after the threat is dealt with.

.

Dick: man, I don't know why duke has such a problem with me being a cop, like you guys don't mind?

Tim: wait you're a cop?! We thought you were a stripper!

Dick: what? You thought I was a stripper? All of you?!

The other bats:...

Bruce: I didn't want to make you feel insecure.

Dick: Alfred, you didn't think I was a stripper right?

Alfred: There is nothing wrong with such a line of work, you needn't feel like you have to lie.

i just think that Duke Thomas should like oink at Dick Grayson. I think that when Dick tries to come in Duke’s room and have like a weird sibling heart-to-heart, Duke’s like “u got a warrant, pig???” and Dicks like 👁️👄👁️. Duke passive-aggressively hands Dick a doughnut. And Dick doesn’t rrly get shit for being a cop/having been a cop bc most ppl assume he’s a stripper so this is new to him.

This is wonderful! A lot of fics talk about how lonely Danny would be as one of only a handful of halfas in existence. But there's a whole world of people with OCD!

They may have completely different obsessions, but they get it. They understand.

I want Danny to be able to find people who understand him, even and especially people with no powers at all

DP x DC: obsession ramble

It’s not that I dislike obsessions, but I’d like to actually see them actually used more

The word obsession means: “an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person’s mind”

It has connotations of compulsivity and a loss of control

So if I’m told X character is obsessed with y, then I’m not actually shown the character being obsessed, it just feels… unsatisfying?

And a lot of the time we get told about it and then it’s never addressed again, or it gets treated more akin to a special interest

It’s Chekhov’s gun remaining unfired

Which is a shame because the works that do actually show the obsessive element of an obsession it feels like setup and payoff. It’s really cool and an interesting way to examine a character

And I get that takes extra work and isn’t always the story you want to tell, but it’s significantly less cool when it’s arbitrarily lumped in. It’s not a be all end all if it’s included and nothing is done with it, but it’s a bit like a nail not quite hammered into place: sticks out a bit and occasionally tears a small hole in your sweater(story)

Def not saying not to use it, but just food for thought on ways to use it I guess, or a way. Idk man I’ve definitely been overthinking this but people overthink every aspect of writing and tropes so that don’t make me special just sleep deprived

My babies!

Soot and Bubblegum haven't shown any behavioural indicators that they're a boy or a girl, I think Hot Chocolate might be a girl because of how she's a bit smaller and a little bit nicer, and Gideon has been cooking and chasing the others around since the first week I got them, and now's he's guarding the nest and being a dad

Now, Icecream is difficult because they're big and chunky, they coo and they chase the others around, so I said to my dad "oh yeah, he's definitely a boy" but then my dad said that he saw them sitting on the nest, which Gideon would have chased off if they weren't his mate, and they can't both be males because someone had to lay fertile eggs. So my ideas are that either Icecream is a female who just looks and acts like a boy, or, Gideon is just a weirdo who let another boy sit on the nest? I don't think pigeons have ever been seen to be poly, since they mate for life, but maybe I just got some weird ones.

Regardless, I love all of them

I have pet pigeons (they're my favourite birds if you couldn't tell) and this little fluffy idiot has decided to have a baby in fucking winter. It wasn't even warm when she laid the egg, it's been cold for like 2 months and I'm so worried because the baby looks so cold, and I know that Gideon is being a good dad and sitting on the nest, keeping the baby warm, but still.

The little baby is adorable though, it's past the pink worm stage and is in the bedraggled penguin stage, and judging by the colour I think the mum is Hot Chocolate, but you can't really tell until the feathers are like, fluffy

Well this solves the issue of Damian feeling that he's supposed to inherit WE even though tim is ceo

My boy has such a big heart, he simply can't help himself

nobody will ever speak ill of my son ever again he volunteers at the HOSPITAL bless him

also one step closer to dr damian wayne bc i think there’s beautiful writing in ra’s going from a doctor to an assassin raising his grandchild to be an assassin but damian wants to be a healer 😔

that or a vet just put that boy in med school

This is because Selena is the best

*screaming through tears* THIS IS EVERYONES DAILY REMINDER THAT IT WASNT STEPHS FUCKING FAULT. IT NEVER EVEN OCCURED TO SELINA TO BLAME STEPH BECAUSE SHE WAS A KID AND BRUCE DIDNT FUCKING TELL HER FUCKING ANYTHIGN

False alarm, the baby isn't actually orange

The joker was monologueing Infront of a camera for all of Gotham to see as he had the bat surrounded by goons with guns.

"hey, uh don't mind me, I just need a present for my boyfriend" the skinny white skinned boy with black hair and blue eyes seemed to step out of nowhere, walking towards the joker with an awkward smile of his face.

"oh? Are you ready to pl-ugh" the joker wheezed as he collapsed to the ground, danys hand phased into his chest.

"this is totally gonna get me a fiance" Danny grins, saluting as the bat and goons stare at him bewildered

I absolutely love the idea that Danny kills the Joker (because creepy clowns eww) and Jason happens to walk in right as he's panicking all over the place. Danny is desperately trying to explain it was an accident, while Jason's over here simultaneously feeling the best he's ever felt since his revival and falling head over heels in love at the same time.

Very cute, very fun, wholesome murder, 10/10 will read every time.

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Danny: *shoving Joker's body behind dumpster in a panic*

Jason: "Is that a dead body?"

Danny, recognizing Red Hood as someone famous in the Realms for avenging murder victims: "Oh hi Mr. Hood, ma'am, sir.. See this isn't what it looks like, it was a total accident I swear on half my life!"

Jason: "Half your wha-"

Danny, still in shock: It's just he was being all creepy, and I've had bad experiences with clowns before, I and then this one had a gun so I pushed him a bit, didn't mean to kill the dude, honestly!"

Jason: *walks over to check body*

Danny: "Soo, total accident, and I don't feel like being arrested, so I'm gonna go.."

Jason, realizing that is indeed the Joker lying dead behind a dumpster: "Hang on, at least give me-"

Jason turning around and seeing his saviour has vanished: "Damn, didn't even get his number."

...

Jason: *giddily takes selfie with corpse*

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Jason: *patrolling in relative peace when he sees some random guy and the flipping Joker in an alley, said Joker has a gun pulled on the poor guy*

Jason: *about to swing in to save the day and take out the Joker*

Danny, faced with a clown pointing a gun at his head while ranting about all the creepy things he's gonna do: "Yea no that's not gonna fly"

Danny: *Goes full on eldritch abomination and eats the Joker's soul, leaving his body as a lifeless husk*

Jason, standing at the mouth of the alley in disbelief:

Danny, turning back into his human form: "Oh eww, so not worth it, that guy tasted terrible."

Jason: *frantically straightens his jacket, tries to fix his hair and realizes his helmet's in the way, then strikes a pose and tries to look natural*

Danny: *turns around and realizes he's not alone*("omg is that Red Hood?")

Jason, using all his rizz: "Hey there handsome, don't suppose you'd let me treat you to some dessert after a meal like that? There's a place down the street ;)"

Danny: "..What?"

----------

Alternatively, Danny and Jason were already dating but got into an argument.

Danny, walking down a street brooding thinking: "Man, I've got to figure out how to make it up to Jason, chocolates, flowers, maybe get him a book, hmmm.."

Joker: *creepy giggling as he yanks a random kid that looks like he could possibly be a Wayne into alley™*

Danny, eyes lighting up: "Ohh yes you'll be perfect, thanks dude :]"

Joker: "Wh-"

..20 minutes later..

Danny, walking into his and Jason's apartment: "Babe! I'm sorry about earlier, but I have something to make it up to you!"

Jason, peeking around the corner with a frown: "Well whatever it is it's not just gonna fix- is that the fucking Joker?"

Danny: "Yep! Don't worry he only looks dead cause I'm holding his soul hostage right now, I thought you should get to do the honours <3"

Jason:

Danny:

Jason:

Danny: "...I have chocolates and that book you wanted to read as well..?"

Jason: "Marry me"

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Mmmhhh yes I love this trope so much!!

It's been negative 3 Celcius in the morning the past two weeks, please stop trying to have babies