How Long Ago Should I Have Died?

Why can't I remember? Names, faces, people, events. They're gone. There's a feeling left. Like a hole where an uprooted tree stood. Pieces of pictures are all that's left. No emotion attached to them. Did they really happen? Were they all just dreams? Is this all just a nightmare I can't wake from?

A friend of mine and I hatched an idea to create a grocery store for single people. It'd sell food in amounts that cater to being single. There'd also be cooking classes for single people. We feel packaging and portion sizes cater only to families and groups, while single people are forced to either over-eat or waste food. Though, the best part of this plan is that kids are not permitted in the store. We didn't nail down an age, but the goal is to exclude shrieking children. And their parents. A quiet place for those of us who hate kids to get single-size stuff.

Someone asked me if I believed in God. I asked them what kind of god would inflict me on their world.

My favorite episode of SpongeBob was on today at my medical building. I didn't get to watch it because I had to be an adult for all the Boots in the room who were intently staring directly ahead despite no orders to do so. But, one day they will realize it's okay to be more than a statue in public settings.

All I've ever wanted is the power to destroy.

Never have I been so frustrated by anything. Kyudo is possibly the most difficult thing I've ever undertaken as a discipline. Guess it goes to show little control I have over my own movement and breathing.

How are the meds going? How do you feel? ❤

Well, you were right about how they're supposed to work. They don't even help ease the sadness, anger. They're just supposed to give you more energy and help focus. Doesn't make sense why humans would even bother to invent such a useless medication. Medication is supposed to be coupled with therapy, but what good is that if my mind has hard-wired itself to be, well, me?I wish you could have another opportunity to try them. Maybe they would work for you. Maybe you'd run into an incredible doctor, counselor, or someone completely new, and you could start to piece back together. Medication doesn't necessarily work the same on everyone, but the right support is essential. Otherwise, it'll only make things, in a way, worse. It's only easier to focus on the dark now.Thanks for checking on me. You are an incredible person. I'm sure it's impossible to convince yourself, but there are a lot of us out there who think so about you.Hope you're having a good day/evening/night. Hope tomorrow brings at even one moment of clarity and stillness.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-35226276 I wish I was the most badass of burglars. If I could have anything in the world, it'd be this. Even if it was mine under very shady circumstances.

THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

Put googly eyes on anything. This has been a Public Service Announcement by The Center for Happiness, Entertainment, Eccentricity, Restlessness, Fantasy and Unilateral Lugubriousness Neutralization Education and Sadness Supersession

When you finally overcome the helplessness just long enough to talk to a professional about how messed up things are, and they call to cancel two hours before the appointment.