People Keep Telling Me 27 Isn't Old. Why Is It I Look And Move Like I'm So Much Older Than They Are?

Going to make a CD called "The Sounds of Waking Up" which will showcase the wondrous groans, creaking, and stumbling around after long nights and naps. It could also go by the other name "The Sounds of Being an Ent".

I realized today I am the angriest person I know. It's amazing. It makes me wonder if everyone else is really good at blocking it out, or if they're all too fucking retarded to see the problems I see. So far, it's looking like the latter.

My favorite episode of SpongeBob was on today at my medical building. I didn't get to watch it because I had to be an adult for all the Boots in the room who were intently staring directly ahead despite no orders to do so. But, one day they will realize it's okay to be more than a statue in public settings.

I think the day when everything comes together and I finally know my happiness will be the day Death takes me. Some of us just weren't lucky enough to be born for happy lives.

Why does anyone care when all that does is hurt? I tried caring about my job, and it's miserable.

As the world had made an enemy of him, he knew he must become an enemy of the world.

Is it guilt? What is it?

I have this weird, lingering... feeling...? Since we broke up about a year ago, we remained in contact, I have seen my ex gain at least thirty pounds. She was always insecure, depressed, anxious, etc. on top of being just downright lazy when it came to her physical well-being, and there was nothing I could say or do to get her to change that. She takes half a dozen medications to help her, and it seems to me they don't work. She refused to even eat better (A salad with ten ounces of ranch dressing is not healthy) when I gave up on offering to do walk-jog-run or something as simple as Wii-Fit. I didn't care she was overweight already or not as active as she should have been, I just wanted her to actually think for once instead of sitting on facebook all day eating junk food and looking (then, subsequently, complaining to me) at how all these "friends" kept getting married, engaged, blah, blah, blah. Eventually, the daily irony of being all these things on top of her going to nursing school was too much for me to bear. Few things make me angrier than people in health care, or trying to get into it, who can hardly make it up a flight of steps, much less have some semblance of mental/emotional stability. I don't care how smart a person is in a classroom (she is very book-smart, that much is true). If they think they are material for being in a position to possibly need to save people and have zero stability other than this illogical, masochistic idea that being in health care will mystically make themselves better (physically, mentally, emotionally), they're wrong. Thinking a job they will have huge responsibilities will magically make them take care of themselves, too, simply makes no sense at all when they have fits of depression or anxiety that keep them in bed all day. It makes me sad, too. It makes me sad because a part of me really, REALLY wanted to help her. I wanted to help her succeed, but she'd have nothing of it. A part of me also feels responsible for how she reacted to the breakup. Honestly, that's illogical, as well. Maybe even more so than her mindset. There was little worthwhile about that relationship, honestly. The relationship yielded little more than what a good friendship could have (sex has never been a strong selling point to me). Maybe if we'd been friends longer before dating, we could have circumvented the inevitable. She isn't a bad person, but she is too self-destructive for anyone less than psychiatrists to handle. Still... All-in-all, for whatever, ridiculous reason, I still feel bad... and I don't know why...

That's not part of Japan. That's the island with Knights of the Round materia.

If the sentiment that sex workers of any kind cannot be raped because of their profession holds true, then is it also true infantrymen and cops cannot be shot, firefighters cannot burn, doctors cannot contract diseases, bankers cannot go bankrupt, racecar drivers cannot be run over, sea goers cannot drown, explosive ordnance disposal cannot blow up, aviators cannot crash, accountants cannot miscount, investigators cannot mishandle evidence, and judges cannot misjudge? Wish there was more I could do for Ms. Stoyadinovich than pose the above question. Though, I am glad she chose to come forward now, and I hope she has enough immediate support to help her through this.

Even though it was four years since the breakup on Christmas Day, I can still say it'd take all my strength to not expend every round of ammunition I own into your face, you cheating, psychopathic, manipulating, pathological liar. There is no depth to my level of hatred for you, and even if I was sent to the Seventh Circle of Hell, I'd still laugh because I know you'd be in the Ninth where you belong.