This Sounds Like A Good Song For A Funeral.

A psychologist asked me if I think about hurting myself or others. I said,"No." I lied.

Whoever wrote this has no idea how right they are.

Valuable lesson perhaps…

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when you’re cozy in bed and you hear heavy rain reblog if you agree

Everything Is Terrible

Parents: Why don't get into a relationship and get married? Me: Because I'm fucking ugly, that's why.

I made my first attempt at a smoothie today. It had too much ice and wouldn't flow. The only solution was to add vodka to thaw it. Trust me, I'm an engineer.

I realized today I am the angriest person I know. It's amazing. It makes me wonder if everyone else is really good at blocking it out, or if they're all too fucking retarded to see the problems I see. So far, it's looking like the latter.

But you will never be important to people you're nice to.

You know who's awesome? Ronda Rousey. There's no point in beginning to describe her level of awesomeness because it would continue on longer than it'd take Floyd Mayweather to read Green Eggs and Ham. This woman is Athena incarnate, only she'd never put up with any of Zeus' bullshit.