I Like To Imagine That In Any Atla Modern Au, Aang Still, For Some Reason, Finds A Reason To Beat Ozai’s

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Humans are weird: Adaptability

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)

The assembly hall at the institute of learning on Praxos III was one of the finest halls in the entire system. Easily able to handle over a thousand beings it was specifically designed to allow anyone up on stage the ability to speak to the very back of the rows without the need for technology to boost their voice. A rather convenient feature as today the hall was packed to capacity.

A dozen hushed conversations mingled together as those gathered waited for the speaker of the day. They had come from across the planet and even as far away as the outer colonies all for a chance to hear the subject that had captivated their entire species.

As the voices continued to rise and fall like the tide of the ocean the lights began to dim and a lone figure stepped on to the stage. The crowd’s conversations died away and were replaced by the thunderous roar of applause that shook the hall.

Upon reaching center stage the speaker raised up their hands for quiet and the applause slowly pattered out until once more the hall was silent.

“My name is Ozma Dalhime,” the speaker began as their voice echoed throughout the entire hall, “and I hold the position of head researcher of alien lifeforms here at the institute.”

Behind Ozma a large screen slowly descended from the ceiling and the lights of the hall went completely dark save for the lone light on the speaker.

“In my time here I have come to find many interesting and seemingly farfetched life forms that have been discovered across the galaxy, but none as fascinating and frustrating as the one we are here to speak about today.”

At this the projector turned on and a large image of a strange creature appeared on the large screen. Several oh’s and ah’s came from the crowd as the image came into full view.

“This,” Ozma said, “is a human.”

The images began cycling through several different pictures of humans. Some were male, some were female, some had long hair, some had short, some were pale as a ghost, and some were as dark as the starry skies. Dozens of different photos went by, each unique and different from those that came before, leaving many to wonder how such a chaotic species could have survived for so long.

“Born in the Milky Way galaxy on a rather hostile planet they have creatively called “Dirt”,” the professor continued to the amused chuckles of the crowd, “they have survived countless generations of strife to now become one of the most recognizable species carving their way through the cosmos.”

Ozma paused for a moment and looked over the audience.

“Can any of you tell me why?”

The crowd was silent save for a few murmurs between groups here and there, but no one spoke up.

“I hope when you came to my lecture you didn’t expect me to do all the talking.” Ozma replied happily as he walked back and forth across the stage. “Come on, why do you think humans have survived for this long?”

Ozma saw a lone hand rise from the third row and motioned for the holder to stand up.

“Because they can breathe fire?” they remarked, drawing a rousing laughter from the crowd.

Ozma gave no sign of similar mocking behavior and simply nodded.

“They certainly can seem that way when you make one angry, as I can attest from first-hand experience.” Ozma said. “Does anyone else have an answer?”

Another hand rose further back in the crowd and again Ozma motioned for them to stand up.

“Because of their barbarity?” the second speaker said, this time drawing hushed tones of agreement from those around them.

“You certainly are closer to the answer.” Ozma said, motioning for the crowd to quiet. “When provoked an individual human can draw upon fits of strength that often will destroy their own body, but in the moment they wouldn’t even notice it until their body collapsed completely like a puppet whose strings have been cut.”

Many of the crowd had heard stories of human soldiers lost in this blood madness on the battlefield and had continued fighting even after a majority of their body was covered in third degree burns, who showed no fear when facing down a hive swarm single handedly with nothing but a crude slug thrower and harsh language, that even could wrestle a Draxic warrior into submission despite being half their size.

“In my many travels there is one quality of humans that has superseded their natural, and at times unnatural, strength and is the corner stone of their very being and the reason they have thrived amongst the stars.”

The crowd leaned in as Ozma stopped himself for dramatic effect, smiling to himself before revealing his answer.

“What makes humans interesting, is their adaptability.”

Whatever the crowd had been expecting this certainly was not it. Through the bright lights Ozma could see a few of the guests in the front row showing faces of disbelief, full of questions they thought they knew the answers too already.

“Across my years of travel I have never come upon a species that was so capable of enduring the rigorous extremes that the universe had to offer.” Ozma began, pacing the stage once more.

“I have seen them create homes for themselves on planets with suns that could melt flesh from bone in minutes, on planets so cold that the liquid of your eyes would flash freeze if exposed for even a moment; even on planets devoid of sunlight and filled with creatures of such horrific nature one would believe they were taken straight from the pages of a children’s book have I found them sitting around camp fires laughing into the night.”

Ozma turned and sat on a waiting stool on the stage to catch his breath. He sipped from a water container under the stool for a moment before setting it back down and continuing.

“When I was in the Gamma Belt I found myself waylaid at a space station waiting for the next shuttle out of the system.” Ozma began, his mind reliving the memories as if it had just been yesterday. “I wandered the hallways for days while I waited and came upon many unsavory characters of questionable intent along the way; safe to say I kept my purse string held close for much of the adventure there.”

“During my third day aboard the station I came across one of the most interesting people I have ever met.”

Ozma couldn’t help but chuckle to himself as he recounted that strange man. “Their name was Oliver Reid and he owned a small food kart that was nestled on the lower levels of the station.”

“A scruffy human for sure standing no taller than me and missing a hand and an eye, he served a dish made from fresh Razor fish he kept in a nearby tank and prepared right before your eyes.”

A couple gasps came from the crowd at this. Razor fish were some of the most violent of aquatic life that had been discovered so far. Their spines were covered in long protruding spines so sharp that they could cut through metal when provoked.

“When I first met Oliver I could hardly believe his notion that he could somehow provide a dish out of such a violent creature, which he seemed to take offense to and promptly challenged me to a wager.” Ozma continued. “He said if I liked the meal he prepared that I would pay three times what was asked, and that if I didn’t I could eat it for free.”

“Intrigued by the human’s confidence I agreed to the wager and I bore witness to one of the most extraordinary feats I have ever seen come from the creation of a dish.”

“Without skipping a beat the human pulled out a sharpened wooden fork as long as a forearm and strapped it to his missing limb as he approached the tank holding the razor fish; closing his eye for just a moment and without hesitating stabbed the wooden fork into the pot and skewered a razor fish, killing it instantly.”

As Ozma regaled the crowd with his story they could not help but notice the tinges of excitement dotting the professors voice here and there.

“Here was a creature dubbed one of the most lethal killers of the oceans and a human missing an arm and an eye was able to kill it without even flinching.”

“What was even more impressive was that they were indeed able to create a dish worthy of renown that I gladly paid three times for.” Ozma finished as he saw a hand rise from the crowd.

“What does that have to do with their adaptability?” the guest asked. “Truly it is an impressive feat, but I fail to see how it relates.”

Ozma took in the question before standing back on his feet. “As I was eating the dish I learned that the reason Oliver had lost an eye and a hand was from his previous attempts to prepare the razor fish.”

“The first time he had tried his would be entrée sliced through his hand like it was butter and swiftly ate it before he could recover and reattach the appendage; while he had lost his eye on the thirteenth attempt when a spine punctured his eye after getting too close.”

The crowd collectively gasped in horror, one near the back even vacating the contents of their stomach if Ozma heard right.

“I asked him after finishing my meal why he continued with a practice that had cost him so much,” Ozma said, “and he looked me after rubbing the stump that had once held his missing hand and said “If you give up from making mistakes, then clearly you didn’t learn the right lesson it was teaching you.””

Ozma paused once more for effect now that he had his audience in the palm of his hand. “To say I was astounded by such an inspiring insight and find it in the proverbial armpit of the universe was something of an understatement at the time.”

“He told me that through his trials and mistakes he had learned that the Razor fish was unable to comprehend let alone sense wood leaving itself exposed, and that one of its natural defense mechanisms relied on it looking into it’s would be predators eyes and reading the intent from eye motions.”

“Can you imagine that?” Ozma said. “That through his failures this Oliver had refused to give up and continued to adapt and study his situation to such an extent that he was able to overcome seemingly impossible obstacles as if they were nothing more trifling then crossing the street.”

“In an instant the core of humanity was made clear to me; that when presented with a challenge neigh impossible that rather than retreat from it humans would greet it with a devilish smile and continue to change themselves until the impossible became reality.”

The projector that had died down during Ozma’s speech sprang back to life again and showed a new series of pictures. Human settlements on the frozen moons of Jkin VI, roaming human tribes riding massive desert sliders as they crested the roaming dunes of Hava Prime, and even and most astoundingly of the professor standing next to the one handed one eyed human Oliver smiling together over a razor fish dish.

“Humans have the uncanny ability to adapt themselves to whatever situation they come upon and despite the odds rise above the challenge and claim victory; and that is why I find them the most interesting species to observe in the universe.”

if you would be so kind as to reblog this if you feel insecure about your writing skills.

Too busy to actually write to have a plot instead:

Cody, Wolffe, Ponds, Bly and Rex go to a creepy castle as part of a mission, the data is vague and the source anonymous but their generals agreed to spare them for it and so they went.

Yellow eyes watch from the parapets and a fanged smile forms. It reaches into the Force and leans. The smile widens.

At first they think it’s a waste of time, until the first scream echos down the halls. They can’t determine where it’s from. But they know who it is.

Fox.

They split into smaller groups to search and find Fox first on the security cameras, emaciated and scarred being dragged by a cloaked figure across the uneven stone floor.

They rush to that corridor. He’s not there.

The first time they see him in person he’s across a gap to wide to cross, there’s no direct path. Again, he’s gone when they get there.

This thing is playing with them. It has their brother. And they can hear it talking, along with Fox’s screams they hear it. A voice they can’t pin telling Fox he’s alone, unloved, good for nothing but to serve as a battery and a pet, that nobody’s coming for him if they were they’d have come by now. Nobody cares he’s gone, he might as well give up.

How long has he been here…?

Coruscant has been comm silent for so long.

The first time they see him in person (through a window)and on camera they have to acknowledge the possibility that whatever thing is here, its messing with them. Taking their deepest fears and playing with them while Fox isn’t here at all. But what if he is? They can’t leave him here.

The screams sound so agonised, so real.

They keep searching.

Wolffe alone finds Fox first. Cradles him close as he tries to remove the metal shackles. Fox is barely conscious, barely with it, too thin and too scarred in his arms and the scars are deep, some look like they should have been fatal. Wolffe promises he loves his brother. Wolffe promises he’ll get him away from the Sith, get him somewhere safe.

Fox laughs, “you’ve already failed, I’m not the Sith who has your brother, I’m not the one who made these scars and screams” and Wolffe sees yellow eyes and fangs and darkness rushes in.

Cody, Rex, Ponds and Bly can’t find Wolffe or Fox…

It picks them off, one by one.

In a dungeon below the castle in a cell together they wake, and Fox walks towards them. But not Fox, because it has fangs and leathery wings and yellow eyes.

It taunts them. Fox is in the hands of a real Sith and that knowledge will die here with them.

They disagree.

———

:-D

(In summary: a dark sithly creature lures them in using the real visage of how fox looks under Palpatines ‘care’ and uses his real screams to mess with them. It enjoys suffering and like all Sith feeds off of it and that their fears are reality is even more fun and filling. It plays with them then picks them off while revealing the truth knowing they’ll die knowing they can’t do anything to save Fox.)

Enjoy.

Interviewer: So, how would you describe your relationship with your Jedi?

Rex: *long, long, long, long sigh* Idiot siblings.

Cody: don't get me started

Rex: to clarify, I'm not the idiot.

Colt: *wordlessly pulls up sleeve to reveal "I-heart-Mom" tattoo on his bicep*

Cody: I have sympathy for Rex because Skywalker just DOES things but Kenobi, he, he thinks things through, and then he STILL does those things even if they're HORRIBLE IDEAS—

Fox: *chugs coffee, slams cup down so hard it breaks* bold of you to assume I have a Jedi

Gree: Not family, but definitely close friends.

Cody: —reckless, ridiculously self-sacrificing, no regard for his own safety—

Grey, dead serious, no hesitation: caleb is my son

Whatever clones are in Master Tapal's battalion: *chanting, one of them holds Cal up like Simba* BABY BOY BABY BOY BABY BOY

Cody: —can't even leave him alone for two minutes because he goes and loses his lightsaber in the middle of a battle—

Ponds: I'd like to say we're blood-brothers bound through the heat of battle because that sounds neat, but honestly, Master Windu and I, we're—we're fire-forged coworkers.

Wolffe: I can neither confirm nor deny that I bought Master Plo a Galaxy's Best Dad mug

Cody, staring vacantly into space: I'm so underpaid

Bly: no comment

Details about the tv show au:

- the clones are actors and some of them have been in the military in the past, but not all of them

- the jedi are able to use the force out of the show. It’s just. Their thing. They actually have powers in real life.

- the bloopers/gag reel are FULL of scenes where shaak ti trips on her cloak and nearly falls down

- Obi-Wan actually loses his cloaks all the time. The costume department secretly hates him because they have to keep making new cloaks. Where are they even DISAPPEARING to??

- the answer is: to Cody’s dressing room’s closet. He picks them up and hides them there. It started as a one-time prank but now he literally can’t stop. It’s too funny. Once Rex opened a the closet’s door and was immediately covered in a pile of brown fabric

- the bloopers also feature a bunch of clones wearing each one of said cloaks and saying “hello there” to the camera

- Anakin constantly arrives to table readings 30 minutes late with starbucks

- there is one video recorded with anakin’s phone showing Obi-Wan tiredly saying “don’t fuck up with the props. It’s uncivilized”

- there is also a video of Shaak Ti and Asajj Ventress playing truth or dare, and Shaak Ti dares Ventress to saw yoda’s cane so that he’ll fall on his face if he puts his weight on it

- she gladly does

- which gets the entire cast to witness Yoda cursing loudly for a full minute. Sadly, nobody recorded it

Humans are weird: Their own worst enemy

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps) Taken from memoir of Levire Gaston

“When my people first made contact with humanity I must speak truthfully and admit I did not think much of them.

Their bodies were not but soft flesh and brittle bones and their egos were even more fragile. They were quick to anger, lacking in the nuances of conversation, and seemed to prefer the direct approach in all matters as if it was something to be proud of.

I had spoken out against allying ourselves with them as I saw little to gain from such an agreement but my government thought it would be better and aligned ourselves with the pink skins.

The day I went alongside them to war is one I still remember as clear as day after more than two centuries.

It is truly an astonishing sight to watch a professional human warrior go about their work. All their brashness, all their stubbornness, all their childish habits are turned off with the flick of a switch and they became the monsters the universe seems to now label them as.

Their efficiency was matched only by their ruthlessness as they laid waste to our enemies. I watched a platoon of them charge across open ground while under heavy fire with only one surviving to reach the other side; what’s more rather than retreat the soldier continued the mission and destroyed the enemy emplacement even as their life’s blood ran out of their wounds like rivers of anguish and pain.

I had expected the soldier to expire from their sustained damage or retreat back to the safety of the rear lines to recover, yet they merely bandaged themselves with a small medkit and cauterized their more severe wounds over a nearby flame before continuing on.

After the battle I sought out that human soldier and over time we became close friends. Despite the many wars we fought together over the years to come I had never saw them lose focus or cower in the face of overwhelming odds. Truly they were a beacon of what all who carry arms should strive to.

Even after we exited military service we remained close friends and we corresponded frequently with each other. On several occasions we even met each other’s families, our bond of brotherhood remaining strong as ever.

One year I remember inviting them to a hunting trip on my homeworld for a relaxing getaway. The forests of the Great Chasm were rich and vibrant with all manner of life and we collected many a trophy. Yet so fervent had we been in the hunt that we had lost track of time and found nightfall surrounding us while we still lay miles from the nearest vestiges of civilization.

My friend insisted they we hurry back and leave but I told him that these woods warped perspective at night and we would become lost in the branches. They continued to say if they dropped their trophies and just left now we could make it, but I merely laughed and began setting up camp for the night.

As night finally consumed us we sat around the fire and shared a drink from my personal container. They seemed to need it more that night as I noticed their eyes never seemed to rest on a single spot for long and when he stretched his back he was actually using it as an excuse to look behind him. Something was clearly bothering them, but when I asked they merely laughed and evaded the question.

We sat by the fire for two hours before I went to sleep while they continued to stoke the fire and keep their eyes focused on the darkness.

I’m not sure how long I was asleep for when I was woken by the sounds of gunfire. I threw my blanket off and raised my own weapon that had been by my side. What I saw as my eyes blinked into focus was something I had not witnessed in all my life.

My friend, survivor of a hundred battles and a dozen wars, was whimpering and sobbing like a new born babe while firing blindly into the night.

I called out to them and demanded to know what they were firing at but their response was mumbled and distorted.

“It’s out there.”

That was one of the few things I could understand from my friend.

“It’s out there and it wants me.”

When I tried to ask who was out there I heard a night comoko bird howl and my friend spun on their heels and fired wildly. I dove for cover as they continued firing erratically, chunks of wood and stone flying like a blizzard as the bullets tore through them.

I heard a distinct clicking sound and knew they had run out of ammunition. As soon as I heard the magazine being ejected I rolled out and tackled my friend to the ground.

“Get a hold of yourself!” I remember shouting over and over as they struggled in my grasp.

I got a glimpse of their face in the moon light and it was like nothing I had seen before.

There was nothing there but pure fear.

It smothered him so deeply in its embrace that they had lost all reason and logic and only wished to survive from this unseen horror.

When they reached for their knife I knew I had no choice and punched them square across the jaw so hard they blacked out till next morning.

They did not speak a word to me the next morning when they did wake up, nor on the trek back to where we had left our vehicle to return home. Only during the ride back did they speak of what happened, and then we swore never to speak of it again.

While I was nestled in the comfort of slumber my friend was awake in the dark, and in that dark place his mind began to wonder; their mind becoming ever more warped and strung with each passing minute.

Every creek of wood became an unseen voice, every rustle of leaves a growl of an unknown monster, every animal call in the night the herald of a nightmare coming to slay him.

I had hunted many years in those woods with my father and not once had I felt the things they described to me. I told them this and said that everything they heard was natural for the forest, but they just shook their head and sighed.

“The mind hears what it wants to hear.” They said to me.

After they left to return to their own family I did some research on what they said and found to my horror that they were not entirely wrong.

The human capacity for imagination was well known, but what was seemingly overlooked was that humans lacked the ability to turn it off. Their minds could jump from thought to though faster than they could even breathe and what had started as the whimpers of a small rodent had led to my friends mind believing it was hearing the cackles of a nightmarish creature from beyond.

Their very mind had created the fear that drove them to madness.“

Myles/Jango Incorrect quotes

From here

playing twister

Silas:Right hand red.

Myles: ends up on top of Jango

Jango: ...You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?

Silas: I stopped spinning 15 minutes ago. Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't notice

More under the cut

---

Jaster: Hey, do any of you know how to pick a lock?

Jango: Myles does.

Jaster: .... Myles.

Jango: Yeah, they’re pretty good with poisons and explosives too actually. Apparently they had a rebellious phase*.

Jaster: .... That is terrifying information, thank you.

*unless we think about the spy au lol

---

Myles: I turned out perfectly fine!

Jango: Myles, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast

Myles: I DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN!!!

---

Myles: Three words. Say them and I'm yours.

Jango: Three words.

Myles:

----

Jango about the million clone kids they have: You love me, right, Myles?

Myles: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.

---

Myles: This is such a bad idea.

Jango: Then why are you coming along?

Myles: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

----

Jango: Can you keep a secret?

Myles: Do you know anything about my life?

Jango: No I do not. Good point.

----

Myles, in a beach shirt: So sue me, it's October and I'd like to be on Island Time for a day!

Jango: I have Spotify open right now on my computer, do you want me to blast you? Do you want me to put you on blast? Cuz I've got your history right here on the sidebar.

Jango: Take it Back by Jimmy Buffet, Nautical Wheelers by Jimmy Buffet, Jolly Mon Sing by Jimmy Buffet, Steamer by Jimmy Buffet, trEAT HER LIKE A LADY BY JIMMY BUFFET, MAÑANA BY JIMMY BUFFET, WHEN SALOME PLAYS THE DRUMS BY JAMES BUFFET, HAVANA DAYDREAMIN BY JIMMY BUFFET- What the FUCK happened to you?!

Myles, laughing: I HAD A CASE OF THE MONDAYS

Jango: ARE YOU HAUNTED?! ARE YOU FUCKING POSSESSED?!

Jango: YOU USED TO BE MY FRIEND

Myles, cry-laughing: ᴵ ᴴᴬᴰ ᴬ ᶜᴬˢᴱ ᴼᶠ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴹᴼᴺᴰᴬʸˢ

---

Myles: i went through an entire character arc during quarantine

Myles: i’m going to get worse on purpose

Myles: i became more evil if you’re curious

Jango: We're still in quarantine, don't worry, there's time for a redemption arc still!

---

Myles: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.

Jango: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.

---

This works with both I think, depends on the situation

Myles: Okay, truth or dare?

Jango: Truth

Jango: ...Dare

Myles: How many hours have you slept this week?

Jango:

Myles: Go to bed.

Jango: I don’t like this game.

---

Death Watch raised Myles: So are we flirting right now?

Jango: I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU

Myles: That doesn’t answer my question

I feel like this also fits the other way around if Jango ended up head over heals with Myles

---

Myles: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives

Jango: I wake up at 4:30 AM

Myles:

Myles: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

---

Myles: Is something burning?

Jango: Just my love for you.

Myles: Jango, the toaster is on fire.

---

When they have kids

Jango: Stubs their toe FUCK!

Myles: Mind your language!

Jango: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???

Myles:

Jango: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

---

Myles: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.

Jango: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?

Myles: No! Four to five seconds!

Jango: Too late!!!

---

Myles: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.

Jango: It’s not a joke.

Jango: *sniffles*

Jango: I’m a legit snack

---

Myles: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Jango: I think you mean cards.

Myles, pulling knives out of their sleeves: No, I do not.

---

Myles, watching the news:Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today!

Jango: walks in covered with ink Well, maybe the squid was being a dick.

---

Jango: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Myles has been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out...

Part 2 here!!!

i’ve seen the fanart of the skywalker twin switch scenarios where leia was raised on tattooine and became a jedi and luke was a senator from alderaan leading the rebellion but can you imagine. for a second. leia “where is my blaster uncle obi wan yeah i know i’m ten i don’t give a fuck” skywalker raised by beru “oh the empire is coming? *pumps space shotgun* i wish a motherfucker would” lars. vader wouldn’t get a chance to tell her that he was her father because she would have shot him in the face the second she saw him.

Who’s ready for a ✨bébé caf heist✨

aka a compliation post

An unsuspecting and unprepared Baby Fox is attacked by his worst enemy: A well-intentioned adult! Fox puts up a valiant fight, but to no avail!

Robbed of his beloved caf, Baby Fox swears revenge! But he’ll need help - and he finds it in the form of…Baby Riyo Chuchi! 

Late at night, Baby Fox and Baby Riyo don their Stealth Onesies™ and begin their heist! We join them now as they sneak into the best caf shop on Coruscant… 

…and rappel in through the vents!

Once again, teamwork is the key to victory! Though Fox will no doubt encounter many obstacles in the future, he can always rely on his friends and allies to help him, no matter the danger!

Aaand scene! I will now gently point you towards @carrinth ’s Caf Crawling comic, to which this comic is a humble tribute; and towards @amikoroyaiart, who gave me permission to base the caf cup design around her barista OC Amaya. Go show those fine folks some love.

.

Baby clones in animal onesies are available as stickers, buttons, and other fun things on Redbubble!

More baby clones in animal onesies here