Latest Posts by orangesandlemons3 - Page 11
It’s All A Fucking Joke, Right
In the few months I’ve been modding at fuckyeahasexual and touring ace Tumblr, there’s been a very. Steady. Stream of info that detail horrifically abusive situations and overall poor mental unhealth. Two a week in the inbox if I’m lucky, usually around seven-ten.
And there’s been so many, I can officially categorize all 500+ of these kinds of asks and submissions into an extensive bulletlist of Why Asexual Exclusionary Radicalism Is Incredibly Toxic And Shitty;
Coming Out To Family, Friends, And Employers
“My parents keep telling me that I’m something else, and it’s making me doubt my sense of judgement, not just about my sexual identity, but also about everything in general.”
“My family, friends, and co-workers keep referring to me as an inanimate object in a manner that’s clearly meant to humiliate and devastate me. Nothing I say will get them to stop.”
“My parents vocally/bodily forced me to undergo medical examinations, some of them concerning my sexual organs, many of them concerning blood tests and other trauma-centric procedures.”
“My family is intervening with my private life by changing my schedule to include exercise, socialization, friend influences, and whatever they think can ‘change’ me.”
“My friends/co-workers no longer respect my bodily boundaries when I came out to them, because they no longer see me as someone who should be respected. They regularly touch, fondle, grope, and prod me without permission, and/or verbally harass me, and don’t take my objections seriously.”
“My family, friends, and co-workers no longer just harass me, but also anyone I’m currently dating because they view my significant other as pathetic, underserved, or even being abused.”
First Few Days Of Dating
“My date got irrationally angry and confrontational when I came out to them, in a manner that made me fearful.” (SO many of these.)
“My date immediately lost any respect they had for my boundaries, no longer asked for consent, and {tried to} force themselves upon me.” (A lot of these, too)
“My date tried to verbally circumvent any boundaries and issues I confessed to, and it made me feel like I was in danger.”
“I didn’t come out to my date at first, and when they found out, they radically changed their behavior in an attempt to control and manipulate our new relationship to their benefit.”
Long-Term Relationships
“My partner has forcefully and radically changed our long-term relationship after finding out about my asexuality, and I’m now trapped and controlled in a way that I wasn’t before.”
“My partner broke up with me/is fighting with me because of my asexuality, and trying to make it seem like I’m hurting them. It’s made me doubt myself and my ability to trust my own intentions.”
“My partner is slowly changing from what was once supportive of my asexuality, and I’m wondering when I have the right to be worried and when I’d be overreacting. I’m aware of the worst case scenario, but I also worry that I’m being selfish and childish - which are things I’ve been told all throughout my asexual experience.”
Self-Care And Self Development
“I don’t trust my ability to say either yes or no in sexual situations, and this has extended to my life in general. I don’t feel comfortable in my ability to self-determinate.”
“The lack of authority, definition, and schooling of the concept of asexuality has made me very uncomfortable with what I think I am, and that uncertainty haunts me every waking moment.”
“I think it’s too late/too early to tell if I’m asexual, but the longer I hesitate, the worse my mental health and emotional wellbeing gets. I’m effectively stuck.”
“I see no benefit in coming out, or even identifying as asexual. There’s no positivity, role models, or supportive community for what I consider a big and scary part of my overall identity.”
“I think this was sexual abuse, but I’m wondering if I’m just being selfish and childish.”
“I think I was treated badly by my parents/friends/partner, but I’m wondering if I’m just being selfish and childish.”
“I want to believe that I’m deserving of equal freedom and human respect paid to other, not asexual people, but people tell me I’m being selfish and childish.”
“No one encourages this part of me. And that makes me feel forgotten and abandoned in general.”
Shut the fuck up about your petty beef with tumblr bloggers and youtubers and Archie comics or whatever. I literally do not care, I can’t care. I see these messages every goddamn day - this post was written and drafted a month ago, and I very easily compiled most of this bulletpoint list from scratch, just by eyeing what I see in the askbox and what comes across my dash.
‘Ace discourse’ anger is empty and so meaningless. This is what I see by being part of this one 17k follow asexual ask blog for maybe half a year. I am so Done with all the faux rage posts and all the false positivity about how it’s ok to NOT be ace and all the acephobia that falls perfectly in line with the gaslighting typical of acephobia-101 while also having the audacity to claim it not so.
This is what’s real and I want to bleed it into your goddamn eyes.
If a guy calls you ‘princess’ in a condescending manner, assert your newly appointed royal status and have him beheaded.
Shimizu Kiyoko (via incorrect-hq-quotes)
the signs as natural phenomena
Aries: volcanic lightning
Taurus: penitentes
Gemini: sun dogs
Cancer: lenticular clouds
Leo: aurora borealis
Virgo: fallstreak hole
Libra: fire rainbow
Scorpio: fire whirl
Sagittarius: light poles
Capricorn: supercells
Aquarius: frozen methane bubbles
Pisces: water spouts
figuring out you’re asexual is like trying to find a nonexistent needle in a very large haystack except people keep trying to convince you that you’re just not looking hard enough or you’ll find the right needle eventually but the needle just isn’t there and yet everyone else’s is and then you wonder whether or not you actually have a needle and then you spot something that might be a needle but nope it’s just another hay strand and everything is confusing and now the haystack is on fire
Everyone in Infinity Wars gonna be complaining about how hard these last few years have been for them until Thor rolls up with no hair, no hammer, and one eye.
Regardless of other factors, do you believe asexual people have the right to be part of this community because of their asexual identity?
Yes: 94.2%, 1838 respondents. No: 5.8%, 113 respondents.
Regardless of other factors, do you believe aromantic people have the right to be part of this community because of their aromantic identity?
Yes: 92.2%, 1771 respondents No: 7.8%, 149 respondents
Meaning of the letter “A” when appearing in LGBT[…]+ acronyms:
Asexual: 95.4% of respondents, 1936 total
Aromantic: 80.7% of respondents, 1639 total
Agender: 66.7% of respondents, 1353 total
Ally: 13.9% of respondents, 282 total.
Reporter in the Marvel unviverse: Anthony Stark, well-known as a generous philanthropist, the CEO of Stark Industries, and his alter-ego “Iron Man,” under fire today after a controversial video he posted to his personal Vine account went viral. The short footage showed Stark in the passenger seat of a car, driving by an anti-homosexual rally, repeatedly shouting “I love sucking [expletive for male genitalia]” out of the open window.
The worst part of Pride each year is riding the subway late at night and seeing the gay guys, mostly the ones riding by themselves, slowly take off their rainbow stickers and beads and what-not in preparation for their walk alone in their neighborhood, doing their best to prevent the off-chance of being jumped. I saw one guy with a flag in his bag turn it upside down so it wouldn’t poke out.
So yeah, fuck that heterosexual pride day nonsense.
Being an Aromantic Asexual is Weird
Being an aromantic asexual is weird. We defy not one, not two, but three societal norms; heteronormativity, compulsory sexuality, and amatonormativity. It gets even weirder when you’re indifferent (even favourable!) when it comes to sex and romance because you think your experience is universal, that everyone feels the way you do. It’s not feeling wrong and broken and out of place. It’s feeling normal, and then realizing that you aren’t.
Thinking (read: assuming) that you’re straight for most of your life and then finding out you’re not is weird. Mostly because once you realize you’re not straight, it dawns on you that you feel the same way about boys that you do about girls and non-binary people. And then you wonder if you’re pansexual because they’re attracted to all genders, and you have to be attracted to someone, right? And then that thought is immediately dismissed because you don’t feel attraction, at all. But it doesn’t stop you from contemplating every other sexuality and romantic orientation, because you’ve been taught that everyone wants sex and romance.
And then you remember: you like sex and romance in fiction. You like seeing your friends in happy, healthy, consenting relationships, and you’d always assumed that one day, you’d be in one too. But you’ve never pursued one. You never had more than a fleeting interest in boys, and lingering but still platonic affection for your female and non-binary friends. Those “crushes” that you had in elementary school? Maybe not crushes after all, because God knows you haven’t had one in nearly eight years. The most powerful feelings you’ve had for another person have been squishes so intense that you had to look back and question if it was actually romantic attraction (spoiler: it wasn’t).
And then there’s that epiphanic moment when things start to fall into place. Why you were always so vehement that soulmates could be platonic too. Why the idea of loving someone more than your best friend is incomprehensible (because romantic love is always shown as being more. Hello amatonormativity). Why when you ship fictional pairings, there are people you want to get together romantically, people you want to be friends so bad, and the ships that you like the most are the ones that could go either way. Why you desire emotional closeness and intimacy with the people in your life, but that had always been conflated with sex and romance so you wondered if what you wanted was more than friendship. Why you want to take the expression “more than friends”and burn it to the ground because there is no vocabulary for friendship that exceeds “best friend” without crossing over into romantic and/or sexual territory.
You realize that your ideal relationship isn’t necessarily romantic. It’s best friends who cohabitate and snuggle and hold hands and go on adventures to the library together. Kissing and sex? Well, that’s more of an afterthought. A “yeah, that’ll probably happen somewhere in there.” An assumption, because you’ve been taught that primary, monogamous relationships are always romantic and sexual. You reflect and see that there are very few things that you see and inherently romantic, and that there is a lot of cross-over between things you consider platonic, sensual, and romantic. A grey area that you can’t define.
Being an aromantic asexual is weird, because while I’ve always said that you don’t need romance and sex to be happy, I now realize that it applies to me too.
______________________
Note from mod fitz: This has to be one of the most moving descriptions of this I have ever read. This exactly describes how I felt coming to the realization that I was not straight, and I think had I read this when I first began questioning it would have made things go a lot smoother for me. Thanks so much for submitting!
Self-Care Master Post
So, I’ve realized that I have all these great self care resources that I use for both myself and others and I think having them in one easy accessible location would be useful, although several of the links may be repeat links, SORRY
Other Masterlists
The Big Relaxation Post (ambient noises, nature videos, databases, just for fun)
Coping Skills and Distractions (coping skills, meditation and relaxation, crafts, games, videos)
Recovery Resources (emergencies, finding therapy/doctors/medication, general recovery, substance addictions, restrictive eating disorders, binge/compensate eating disorders, binge ed/compulsive eating disorders, general anxiety, social phobia/anxiety, depression, family/friends
Self Injury Recovery Masterpost
Hobbies Masterpost
Back to School Masterpost (languages, research, writing, reading, studying/organization, stress/anxiety, tests, class participation, software, self help
Back to School Masterpost (not the same as above!) (college, food, helpful sites, high school, mental health, resources, motivation, music/sound, school, stress, studying, tips)
Adulting Masterpost (cleaning, money, health, emergency, food, home, job, travel, better you)
Masterpost for Rough Times (crisis, relaxation, the quiet place, comfort foods, advice and tips, videos and movie, distractions, extras)
Deathshands Self Care Masterpost (depression, self harm, loneliness, anxiety and stress, bipolar/manic depression, hallucinations/schizophrenia, eating disorders, anger, insomnia, sexual assault, domestic violence, helplines, learn to love yourself, hard day?, more helplines)
Katelynn’s Self-Help Masterpost (General, self-harm, self defense, anxiety, depression, eating disorders, insomnia, bipolar)
Masterpost of Masterposts (writing, movies/shows, food, beauty, health, education, music, art, typography, sewing, languages, communication, adulting, diy, random, masterposts)
Self-Help Masterpost of Masterposts (Cheer up and relax, fun stuff, mental illness, self harm, films, general, in case of emergency)
The Tumblr Guide To Healthy Living (nutrition, recipes, desserts, clense/detox, veganism/vegetarianism, weight loss, calculators, exercise, feeling good, battling eating disorders, “inspiration”) I do NOT promote losing weight for the sake of losing weight, thinspiration, dieting, fasting, or any of that. the list is here for recipes and exercises. I am a strong follwer of body positivity and HAES. You are wonderful the way you are!
Food to Make
Really Nice Recipes Every Hour (Seriously, thousands of recipes- well tagged and great instructions. <3)
Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream Sandwiches
Banana Cream Pie Cupcakes
25 Hot Chocolate Recipes
2-4 Ingredient Recipes
Oatmeal Masterpost
Food On A Stick
Food in a Mug
Chocolate Chip Cookie Guide
Scotcharoos
Chocolate Baileys Mudcake
Fast Food you can make at home
Pancakes.
Restaurant Recipes
Molten Lava Cake
Red Lobster Biscuits
Amazing Chocolate Recipes
Crockpot Beans and Rice
Broke College Kid Foods
Cookie Recipes
Reptar Bars
Things I Can Say to Myself When I Feel Shitty
Repeat after me
Daily Motherfucking Reminder
You still have
Fuck yea me
Emotional Support Bunny
I am Cute Too
Twenty Dollars
It’s Okay if you aren’t
Mental Grounding
I’m a Fucking Unicorn
Gold Stars
Permission Slip
I’m Proud
Remember the Sloths
Something Beautiful
Personal Victories Vest
Adorable Owls
You’re not unreliable
The Manatee
Motivational Cartoons
You are Good Enough
You are Making Progress
Shout Out
Puppy Love
Personal Qualities not Measured by Tests
Fat is Not a Bad Word
You are Not a Burden
I know you are feeling Sad
Eeyore
7 tips to free yourself
Bodies as Flowers
You Don’t Need To
My Pace
Note to Self
I will not hide
Kitty Loves You
Happy Monsters
I know it’s hard
Things to Be Happy About
Your Legs
Cute/Funny Stuff
Grover Does Science
Just Listen
John John counts with Grover
Classic Paintings with Sesame Street Characters
Best Song
Best Moment in Film History
Babies Experiencing Things
Low-Viscosity Rayon
Dramatic Reading of Rough and Ready
This Adorable Child
Women Rejecting Marriage Proposals (its funny I promise)
Snuff Dancing
Martians Discover a Telephone
Frozen- Everybody
Stretches for the “holy”
Fantastic Prank
Girl with the Twisted Face
Animal Therapy
The dog who can’t run
Baby Hippo
Animals being cute
Dog is Eeyore
Cute Puppy/Kitty friends
Animals with the Vet
This Majestic Cat
Bunnies sticking their tongues out
Cats sticking their tongues out
Den of Kittens
Sloth Noises
Dogs in Leaves
Big Kitty
Puppies and Babies
Puppies and Babies 2
Dogs Underwater
Cat Photobomb
Cute Animal Pairs
Duck Tales
Newfies
Animals of Tumblr
Dogs with their Babies
Fat Cats
Bunnies
Giant Lap Dogs
Dog Shaming
Dog Shaming 2
Animal Thieves
Baby Animals
Dogs Being Dogs
Dogs Being Dogs 2
Dancing Cats
Cat Conversations
Popular Puppy Breeds
Cats and Technology
Big Cats
Giant Barks and Tiny Meows
Animals are Great
Silky Anteater
Kitties Being Kitties
Kitties Being Kitties 2
Mama and Baby Animals
Cute Puppies
Animals using Animals as Pillows
Dealing with Assault/Trauma/Abuse
No is a complete sentence.
Self-care after rape
Resources for Male Survivors
Help for Men
Signs of Emotional Abuse
Coping with Flashbacks
For Survivors and Loved Ones
Things No One Told me about being a Survivor
Are You Disassociating?
Depression/Anxiety/Panic and Hotlines
Online suicide hotline (not 24/7)
Virtual Hug/Hotlines
Hotline Numbers
Panic and Anxiety Masterpost
Anxiety Masterpost
Letting It Out
50 Alternatives to Self-Harm
What to do when someone has a Panic Attack
Anxiety and Helping Someone Cope
How to Help Someone with Depression
Anxiety: A Self-Help Masterpost
Butterfly Project
Distractions
Randomish distractions
Websites for when you want to…
Free Audio Books
Education at your fingertips
Educational Websites
Documentaries
Ambient Noise Masterlist
Stain Solutions
Art Masterpost
BAMF Women
Shower Thoughts with Nick Offerman
Apps for Students
Every Episode of Hey Arnold
Teen Movie 8Tracks
College Textbooks for Free
Book Resources
Download Free Books
Drawing Masterpost
Disney/Pixar masterpost
Disney Movies Alphabetically Listed
Disney Movies You’ve Never Heard Of
Useful Sites for Movie Lovers
Movie Night Masterpost
Free Classes at MIT
Finals Survival Guide
Visual Glossaries
Relaxation Stuff
All of Bill Nye the Science Guy
You’re Getting Old
Cool Sites
Skymall Catalog
List of Distractions
Have Another
And Another
And Another
No really, I insist
Just One More
Emotions and Coping
Emotions Chart
Self Care Bingo
Coping Skills Toolbox
Showering when you don’t have spoons
Breathing Technique
Techniques for a Panic Attack
Emotional Baggage Check
Degrees of Emotion
Recovery Binder Masterpost
DBT Handbook
How to Deal with Lonliness
Self Care Cheat Sheet
Coping with Overwhelming Emotions
Feeling Weighed Down?
Misc.
30 Day Positivity Challenge
Trans Resources
Tips for Dealing with People in Pain
Ways to be an Ally to non-Monosexual People
Lowest Prices for Prescriptions
App to help recover from Eating Disorders
Contraceptives Masterpost
Dealing with Worst Case Scenario
New Kind of Workout
DMAB Masterpost
So your friend has a chronic Illness or Disability
Having a Friend with Chronic Illness
HabitRPG
Education for Cis allies
Trans Resources
Cheap Travel for Students
If you’re Non-binary, please remember that like 90% of Legendary Pokemon are genderless
Also it doesn’t matter what you present as/look like.
Super masc? Doesn’t matter, still whatever.
Kinda fem and masc? Sure!
SUPER fem? Stillll genderless.
Demiboy? Demigirl? Transgender? Fabulous!
Really just neutral? You’re epic!
Gender changes from day to day? Well, sorry to say it, but you sound kinda like a god to me!
…. or, maybe, maybe, you just wanna eat disrespectful bigots who trespass on your territory?
you can do that too.
Basically, just - if you’re not cis, don’t be scared. You might not be ‘the norm’, but that just means that you’re legendary.
I just… wanna remind people that asexuality was classed as a mental disorder by the DSM all the way up until 2013…. Because I feel like people don’t know this or like to ignore it because it doesn’t fit into their “asexual people don’t face discrimination” rhetoric.
Asexuality was only removed from the DSM in 2013. Please, know this and remember it.
Source: 1 2 3 4 5 6 If you want more facts, follow Ultrafacts
Source: 1 2 3 4 5 6 If you want more facts, follow Ultrafacts
Bringing this back.
my anaconda don’t my anaconda don’t my anaconda don’t want none I’m asexual, hon
ACEthetic
Person: Asexuals don't exist.
Me: Does this mean I don't have to hand in my homework then?
So I went to a friends party and a couple people started talking about sexualities and I heard a guy say “oh yeah, I’ve never met one but i think ace girls would just be the cutest little things, since they don’t want sex. Like, they’d always be so innocent”
And I was wearing leather and punk and I have behind one ear shaved and a spiked collar and knee hight boots. I walked up behind him, laughing so loud a bunch of people stopped to stare at me and I told him, almost shouting, “WHOA BOY YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG. IS ACE’S DONT HAVE SEXUAL DESIRES SO WE HAVE A BUNCH OF EXTRA BRAIN POWER. WE’RE GONNA RULE THE WORLD BY THIS TIME NEXT YEAR IF WE KEEP TO THE SCHEDULE”
And my friends all laughed at me, knowing this guy couldn’t win. He stuttered some, trying the “I didn’t mean it like THAT” story but I just kept yelling “HAIL THE ACE REPUBLIC. DOWN WITH THE STRAIGHTS. BISEXUALS ARE YOU WITH ME? ANARCHY ANARCHY!”
as an asexual person i am really proud of this joke
Asexuality
Okay, so I asked my community of Aces for meme representations of what it was like to realize that you’re Ace. Imma post a bunch of the responses.
Posted by an aromantic ace.